Honor & Betray
Page 6
“Good girl.” I praised her as I repeated the process over and over, spreading the lubricant. After she was completely relaxed, I pushed my finger against her ass. She flinched, tugging against her restraints. “Shh…” I whispered. I knew it would not be as painful as she imagined. I used a lube that had a numbing effect, but she would have to trust me completely. I pushed the head of my c**k against her pu**y, shoving hard inside of her as she moaned. I pushed my finger further into her ass as I drove into her.
“William,” she whimpered, but I didn’t slow down.
“Emma, I want you. Every part of you. I can’t help myself.”
Her ass pushed back against me, and I couldn’t help but growl as she submitted herself to me so willingly. “Let me take you. Please let me take you. I can’t wait any longer.” I pulled out of her completely, gripping her hips so tightly they would probably bruise as I positioned myself against her ass. “Relax,” I commanded as I reached around her and rubbed her swollen clit.
“Ahh…yes…” she purred. I pushed my head inside of her, holding perfectly still as I stroked her pu**y.
“Do you want me to stop?” I groaned, struggling to keep from burying myself inside of her. She shook as her orgasm began to build.
“No,” she moaned, and I rubbed faster as I pushed against her, slipping deeper inside until I was fully seated in her perfect, tight ass.
“This is mine, Emma. Every part of you is mine.” I groaned as I withdrew slowly, struggling not to f**k her hard like I needed. “Tell me, Emma. I need to hear you say it.”
“Every part of me is yours.”
I f**ked her gently as I continued to massage her clit. “Mine,” I moaned as my hips bucked faster, desperate to fill her with my seed.
“Yes…I belong to you…William.”
Her words sent me over the edge, and I came hard as her body quivered beneath me.
“Jesus Christ,” I growled as I withdrew from her body and quickly undid the straps that bound her to the bench. She stood, staggering as she stretched. I forced too much on her, too much on her too quickly. I grabbed our clothing and wrapped my arm around her waist to guide her to the elevator. I cursed myself for taking advantage of her while she was mourning the loss of her aunt, even if the loss was not that great.
I guided her to the bedroom and waited for her to sit before I left to get her some water and aspirin. When I returned, she was curled up under the covers.
“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”
“No…no…it’s nothing. I’m fine.”
I took a step closer, trying to read her expression. “Are you sure?”
“It’s nothing a little medicine and your touch can’t cure.” She smiled as she sat up in the bed.
“Here, I thought you may be a little sore.” I handed her the glass of water and opened the pills, dumping a few in her hand. I watched her dump the pills into her mouth and gulp down a sip of the water.
“Thank you.”
I smiled down at her as I climbed into bed and wrapped my arms around her. Having Emma in my arms was the only thing that seemed to keep the world on its axis. I drifted off to sleep as I held her firmly in my grasp.
Chapter Nine
I awoke to Emma groaning in pain. “Are you okay?” I asked as I ran the pads of my fingers along her cheek.
“I’ve been better.” My heart sank at her words. “But it was worth it, though.”
I smiled with relief, tangling my fingers in her hair and pulling her mouth to mine.
“Mmmm…” She moaned against my lips, and my body immediately reacted, growing stiff against her. I pulled back, pressing my lips to her forehead before forcing myself to get out of bed.
“Where are you going?” She asked as she propped herself on her elbow and stared up at me. I grabbed the bottle of aspirin and gave her two more pills to take with the water from last night. She took them without protest.
“Come on.” I held out my hand to her as I tipped my head toward the door. She furrowed her brow and handed me her glass of water.
“Where are we going?” She asked as she sat up. I took her hand and pulled her to her feet, her naked body flush against mine.
“Let’s go get cleaned up before we get dirty again.” I winked as I pulled her behind me to the bathroom. I turned on the water and waited for it to get slightly warmer than room temperature before turning back to Emma.
“You are so beautiful.” I couldn’t resist touching her delicate face. She shied away from my words, looking down at the floor between us. I tipped her chin up so she would look me in the eye. “You really are.”
She tucked her hair behind her ears nervously as her eyes scanned my face for any trace of deception. I rubbed over her silky strands. “You really don’t know, do you?” I placed a soft kiss on her forehead. “My beautiful, broken girl.” I took her hand and turned her toward the tub. She dipped her toe in, testing the temperature. “Good?” I asked.
“Perfect.” She smiled as she slid down into the water. I turned off the faucet and lowered my body in behind hers. She relaxed her body against mine, her arms resting on my knees as I grabbed the liquid soap and poured it into my hands. I rubbed my slick fingers over her br**sts, but I couldn’t get my mind off the sadness that was still waiting outside of my door. She noticed my hesitation.
“What?”
I absentmindedly began to rub my palm over the peak of her breast. “We need to start thinking about funeral arraignments.” I hated having to bring her down. It broke my heart to know that my words caused her sadness. She nodded, but did not reply, and I continued to hold her tight against me and wash away her pain. It was one of the few moments that touching her wasn’t about giving me pleasure. Slowly, I was beginning to learn that loving her wasn’t about how she made me feel, but how I could make her life a little bit easier. A lesson I wished I had learned weeks ago.
When her body was sufficiently clean, she turned around to return the favor. Her soapy hands slid over my chest and down the ridges of my abdomen. My body reacted like it always did under her touch, and I grew hard. I grabbed her wrist, not sure if I would be able to control myself once her fingers brushed against my cock. Her stare was unwavering, and I let her slide from my grip. She wrapped her fingers around my length. I let my eyes close and enjoyed the touch of her for a moment before forcing her to stop. I didn’t want her worrying about satisfying me when I was the cause of all of her pain.
“That is enough of that.” I gave her a small smile before slipping out of the tub. I wrapped a towel around my hips and reached out to take her hand and pull her from the chilly water. She shivered as I grabbed a towel and draped it around her body.
“Thank you,” she whispered as I turned to walk out of the bathroom. I nodded. “I mean it. For everything.”
I stopped in my path, unable to resist the pull of my heart to her. I spun around, lifting her in my arms to kiss her. “I love you, Emma. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” They were the most honest words I had ever spoken. I would walk away from Emma if I needed to, but I also knew I wouldn’t survive the loss of her.
She slipped her fingers into my hair and pressed her lips softly against mine. I lowered her back down and made my way into the kitchen. My mind was only on her and making all of this right. I grabbed the phone and held it out to her.
“You need to call the police and see if her body is able to be released.” Her smile faltered, and I hated myself for forcing her to do something that would cause her more pain. “Emma, you need to do this. I would do it for you if I could. I would take all the pain from you if it were possible.” She nodded, taking the phone from my hand and grabbing the detective’s card from her purse.
I busied myself making something to eat as she spoke quietly on the phone. I cooked up some grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. I figured some comfort food might make her feel a little more at ease about the situation. Honestly, I had no idea what would help her. I was the last person to give advice to someone with a broken heart. Until I had met Emma, I wasn’t sure I had one at all.
She hung up the phone with an audible sigh and slid into her seat at the counter. I slid a bowl of soup in front of her and a plate with her sandwich.
“What did they say?” I asked as she looked over her meal, tears clouding her eyes.
“Thanks,” she mumbled quietly.
“What did they say?”
“They said her death was…insulin overdose.” She tore off a corner of her sandwich and dipped it into the creamy liquid.
Whomever Stephen had hired knew what he was doing. It was a dark secret of the fetish world. A little insulin play could quickly turn into a murder. I never personally understood the urge to render a partner catatonic. I preferred a willing participant or even a little struggle.
“That’s a good thing, right? You don’t have to worry about someone coming back to hurt you.” I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth. What if she didn’t want to stay with me anymore because she was safe? I took a large bite from my sandwich as I thought over how I would keep her with me now.
“I guess. I never realized being diabetic was that serious. I just don’t believe she is gone.” I could feel her eyes on me, and I knew I should say something to comfort her, but I was at a loss. “They said I could make arrangements”
I finished my meal and began to make calls to arrange the funeral.
Chapter Ten
We had decided to hold the service at Jacoby’s Funeral Home just down the road from my place. Taylor Jacoby was a frequent visitor of the club.
As we pulled up outside of the modest brick building, I squeezed Emma’s hand, bringing it to my lips for a kiss.
“I’ll be there with you. You don’t have to worry about anything.” She nodded in understanding, and I reluctantly released her hand and got out of the car. I made my way to the passenger side and held out my hand again for her to take. I needed to have the contact with her. I needed to know that through all of this, she was not doubting us. That nagging voice in the back of my head replayed Stephen’s words, and I knew he was right about how selfish I was. But he was wrong about love. This had to be it. I planned every detail of the funeral, making sure Emma agreed with my decisions. She looked so small and frail, and I wished I could have left her at my place while I took care of everything. Death was not an emotional experience for me. People died, some peacefully and some violently. In the end, we would all die, and the world would continue to turn.
Emma was nothing like me. She would carry around the pain, the guilt. I knew she was probably blaming herself for not having had a better relationship with Judy. And although we hadn’t spoken about it, it was more than obvious Judy had not been a saint on the night she had died. Luckily, the police seemed convinced that her nudity was unrelated to her sudden demise.
“Let’s get you back home.” I pulled her body against my side as I walked her back to my car. As soon as she was safely inside, she cranked up the radio and stared out of the windshield, her expression blank.
I turned the volume down slightly as I watched her.
“Do you want to talk…about anything?”
I watched as her expression changed, but she quickly shook her head and reached for the radio to drown out her thoughts. I tried not to take it as a personal slight. It was difficult for most to come to terms with the loss of a loved one, even if that person was less than loving. It made people question their own mortality.
I sped home, just wanting to hold her in my arms again. As we pulled into the first floor of the old warehouse, she pushed open her door and took off for the stairs. I had to take the steps two at a time to catch her. She stood with her forehead against my door, eyes closed. I wrapped my arms around her tiny body and pulled her into my chest. I fumbled with my keys and unlocked the door to the apartment behind her back.
I lifted her and carried her inside, setting her gently on the couch.
“What is it?” I asked as I brushed a few wisps of hair from her face.
“I’m going to lose you, too, aren’t I?” I wasn’t sure if she meant that I would one day die or that I would leave her. The thought of ever being separated from her made me sick to my stomach.
“Never, Emma. You are my everything. I could never leave you. You would be impossible to forget. Why would you even think that?” My fingers slid into her hair, gripping the strands as I searched her eyes. She nodded, not responding to my question.
“I love you,” I whispered.
“I love you too. So much.”
“Wait here.” I placed a small kiss on her forehead and forced myself to release her. I wanted normal. I grabbed a Yahtzee box from my closet and brought it out to her. A smile flashed across her face.
“What is that?” She laughed as she cocked her head to the side.
“This, my dear, is a distraction.” I sat down in the center of the living room and motioned for her to join me. She quickly joined me, folding her legs under her body.
“Yahtzee. Really?”
“What? You were expecting Parcheesi?”
She rolled her eyes and grabbed the dice. We played for hours and forgot about all the things that haunted us. Emma put the impending funeral in the back of her mind. I focused on trying to please her without gaining something in return. Just seeing her smile made me feel better, and I didn’t know if it were truly possible to be selfless. I was still gaining something from her.
She yawned as she stretched her body out across the floor.
“Quitting already?” I asked as my eyes travelled down her body. She propped herself up on her elbows as my eyes finally found hers again.
“William,” she whimpered, but I didn’t slow down.
“Emma, I want you. Every part of you. I can’t help myself.”
Her ass pushed back against me, and I couldn’t help but growl as she submitted herself to me so willingly. “Let me take you. Please let me take you. I can’t wait any longer.” I pulled out of her completely, gripping her hips so tightly they would probably bruise as I positioned myself against her ass. “Relax,” I commanded as I reached around her and rubbed her swollen clit.
“Ahh…yes…” she purred. I pushed my head inside of her, holding perfectly still as I stroked her pu**y.
“Do you want me to stop?” I groaned, struggling to keep from burying myself inside of her. She shook as her orgasm began to build.
“No,” she moaned, and I rubbed faster as I pushed against her, slipping deeper inside until I was fully seated in her perfect, tight ass.
“This is mine, Emma. Every part of you is mine.” I groaned as I withdrew slowly, struggling not to f**k her hard like I needed. “Tell me, Emma. I need to hear you say it.”
“Every part of me is yours.”
I f**ked her gently as I continued to massage her clit. “Mine,” I moaned as my hips bucked faster, desperate to fill her with my seed.
“Yes…I belong to you…William.”
Her words sent me over the edge, and I came hard as her body quivered beneath me.
“Jesus Christ,” I growled as I withdrew from her body and quickly undid the straps that bound her to the bench. She stood, staggering as she stretched. I forced too much on her, too much on her too quickly. I grabbed our clothing and wrapped my arm around her waist to guide her to the elevator. I cursed myself for taking advantage of her while she was mourning the loss of her aunt, even if the loss was not that great.
I guided her to the bedroom and waited for her to sit before I left to get her some water and aspirin. When I returned, she was curled up under the covers.
“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”
“No…no…it’s nothing. I’m fine.”
I took a step closer, trying to read her expression. “Are you sure?”
“It’s nothing a little medicine and your touch can’t cure.” She smiled as she sat up in the bed.
“Here, I thought you may be a little sore.” I handed her the glass of water and opened the pills, dumping a few in her hand. I watched her dump the pills into her mouth and gulp down a sip of the water.
“Thank you.”
I smiled down at her as I climbed into bed and wrapped my arms around her. Having Emma in my arms was the only thing that seemed to keep the world on its axis. I drifted off to sleep as I held her firmly in my grasp.
Chapter Nine
I awoke to Emma groaning in pain. “Are you okay?” I asked as I ran the pads of my fingers along her cheek.
“I’ve been better.” My heart sank at her words. “But it was worth it, though.”
I smiled with relief, tangling my fingers in her hair and pulling her mouth to mine.
“Mmmm…” She moaned against my lips, and my body immediately reacted, growing stiff against her. I pulled back, pressing my lips to her forehead before forcing myself to get out of bed.
“Where are you going?” She asked as she propped herself on her elbow and stared up at me. I grabbed the bottle of aspirin and gave her two more pills to take with the water from last night. She took them without protest.
“Come on.” I held out my hand to her as I tipped my head toward the door. She furrowed her brow and handed me her glass of water.
“Where are we going?” She asked as she sat up. I took her hand and pulled her to her feet, her naked body flush against mine.
“Let’s go get cleaned up before we get dirty again.” I winked as I pulled her behind me to the bathroom. I turned on the water and waited for it to get slightly warmer than room temperature before turning back to Emma.
“You are so beautiful.” I couldn’t resist touching her delicate face. She shied away from my words, looking down at the floor between us. I tipped her chin up so she would look me in the eye. “You really are.”
She tucked her hair behind her ears nervously as her eyes scanned my face for any trace of deception. I rubbed over her silky strands. “You really don’t know, do you?” I placed a soft kiss on her forehead. “My beautiful, broken girl.” I took her hand and turned her toward the tub. She dipped her toe in, testing the temperature. “Good?” I asked.
“Perfect.” She smiled as she slid down into the water. I turned off the faucet and lowered my body in behind hers. She relaxed her body against mine, her arms resting on my knees as I grabbed the liquid soap and poured it into my hands. I rubbed my slick fingers over her br**sts, but I couldn’t get my mind off the sadness that was still waiting outside of my door. She noticed my hesitation.
“What?”
I absentmindedly began to rub my palm over the peak of her breast. “We need to start thinking about funeral arraignments.” I hated having to bring her down. It broke my heart to know that my words caused her sadness. She nodded, but did not reply, and I continued to hold her tight against me and wash away her pain. It was one of the few moments that touching her wasn’t about giving me pleasure. Slowly, I was beginning to learn that loving her wasn’t about how she made me feel, but how I could make her life a little bit easier. A lesson I wished I had learned weeks ago.
When her body was sufficiently clean, she turned around to return the favor. Her soapy hands slid over my chest and down the ridges of my abdomen. My body reacted like it always did under her touch, and I grew hard. I grabbed her wrist, not sure if I would be able to control myself once her fingers brushed against my cock. Her stare was unwavering, and I let her slide from my grip. She wrapped her fingers around my length. I let my eyes close and enjoyed the touch of her for a moment before forcing her to stop. I didn’t want her worrying about satisfying me when I was the cause of all of her pain.
“That is enough of that.” I gave her a small smile before slipping out of the tub. I wrapped a towel around my hips and reached out to take her hand and pull her from the chilly water. She shivered as I grabbed a towel and draped it around her body.
“Thank you,” she whispered as I turned to walk out of the bathroom. I nodded. “I mean it. For everything.”
I stopped in my path, unable to resist the pull of my heart to her. I spun around, lifting her in my arms to kiss her. “I love you, Emma. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” They were the most honest words I had ever spoken. I would walk away from Emma if I needed to, but I also knew I wouldn’t survive the loss of her.
She slipped her fingers into my hair and pressed her lips softly against mine. I lowered her back down and made my way into the kitchen. My mind was only on her and making all of this right. I grabbed the phone and held it out to her.
“You need to call the police and see if her body is able to be released.” Her smile faltered, and I hated myself for forcing her to do something that would cause her more pain. “Emma, you need to do this. I would do it for you if I could. I would take all the pain from you if it were possible.” She nodded, taking the phone from my hand and grabbing the detective’s card from her purse.
I busied myself making something to eat as she spoke quietly on the phone. I cooked up some grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. I figured some comfort food might make her feel a little more at ease about the situation. Honestly, I had no idea what would help her. I was the last person to give advice to someone with a broken heart. Until I had met Emma, I wasn’t sure I had one at all.
She hung up the phone with an audible sigh and slid into her seat at the counter. I slid a bowl of soup in front of her and a plate with her sandwich.
“What did they say?” I asked as she looked over her meal, tears clouding her eyes.
“Thanks,” she mumbled quietly.
“What did they say?”
“They said her death was…insulin overdose.” She tore off a corner of her sandwich and dipped it into the creamy liquid.
Whomever Stephen had hired knew what he was doing. It was a dark secret of the fetish world. A little insulin play could quickly turn into a murder. I never personally understood the urge to render a partner catatonic. I preferred a willing participant or even a little struggle.
“That’s a good thing, right? You don’t have to worry about someone coming back to hurt you.” I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth. What if she didn’t want to stay with me anymore because she was safe? I took a large bite from my sandwich as I thought over how I would keep her with me now.
“I guess. I never realized being diabetic was that serious. I just don’t believe she is gone.” I could feel her eyes on me, and I knew I should say something to comfort her, but I was at a loss. “They said I could make arrangements”
I finished my meal and began to make calls to arrange the funeral.
Chapter Ten
We had decided to hold the service at Jacoby’s Funeral Home just down the road from my place. Taylor Jacoby was a frequent visitor of the club.
As we pulled up outside of the modest brick building, I squeezed Emma’s hand, bringing it to my lips for a kiss.
“I’ll be there with you. You don’t have to worry about anything.” She nodded in understanding, and I reluctantly released her hand and got out of the car. I made my way to the passenger side and held out my hand again for her to take. I needed to have the contact with her. I needed to know that through all of this, she was not doubting us. That nagging voice in the back of my head replayed Stephen’s words, and I knew he was right about how selfish I was. But he was wrong about love. This had to be it. I planned every detail of the funeral, making sure Emma agreed with my decisions. She looked so small and frail, and I wished I could have left her at my place while I took care of everything. Death was not an emotional experience for me. People died, some peacefully and some violently. In the end, we would all die, and the world would continue to turn.
Emma was nothing like me. She would carry around the pain, the guilt. I knew she was probably blaming herself for not having had a better relationship with Judy. And although we hadn’t spoken about it, it was more than obvious Judy had not been a saint on the night she had died. Luckily, the police seemed convinced that her nudity was unrelated to her sudden demise.
“Let’s get you back home.” I pulled her body against my side as I walked her back to my car. As soon as she was safely inside, she cranked up the radio and stared out of the windshield, her expression blank.
I turned the volume down slightly as I watched her.
“Do you want to talk…about anything?”
I watched as her expression changed, but she quickly shook her head and reached for the radio to drown out her thoughts. I tried not to take it as a personal slight. It was difficult for most to come to terms with the loss of a loved one, even if that person was less than loving. It made people question their own mortality.
I sped home, just wanting to hold her in my arms again. As we pulled into the first floor of the old warehouse, she pushed open her door and took off for the stairs. I had to take the steps two at a time to catch her. She stood with her forehead against my door, eyes closed. I wrapped my arms around her tiny body and pulled her into my chest. I fumbled with my keys and unlocked the door to the apartment behind her back.
I lifted her and carried her inside, setting her gently on the couch.
“What is it?” I asked as I brushed a few wisps of hair from her face.
“I’m going to lose you, too, aren’t I?” I wasn’t sure if she meant that I would one day die or that I would leave her. The thought of ever being separated from her made me sick to my stomach.
“Never, Emma. You are my everything. I could never leave you. You would be impossible to forget. Why would you even think that?” My fingers slid into her hair, gripping the strands as I searched her eyes. She nodded, not responding to my question.
“I love you,” I whispered.
“I love you too. So much.”
“Wait here.” I placed a small kiss on her forehead and forced myself to release her. I wanted normal. I grabbed a Yahtzee box from my closet and brought it out to her. A smile flashed across her face.
“What is that?” She laughed as she cocked her head to the side.
“This, my dear, is a distraction.” I sat down in the center of the living room and motioned for her to join me. She quickly joined me, folding her legs under her body.
“Yahtzee. Really?”
“What? You were expecting Parcheesi?”
She rolled her eyes and grabbed the dice. We played for hours and forgot about all the things that haunted us. Emma put the impending funeral in the back of her mind. I focused on trying to please her without gaining something in return. Just seeing her smile made me feel better, and I didn’t know if it were truly possible to be selfless. I was still gaining something from her.
She yawned as she stretched her body out across the floor.
“Quitting already?” I asked as my eyes travelled down her body. She propped herself up on her elbows as my eyes finally found hers again.
