Honor & Betray
Page 7
“Thank you…for everything.”
I winked and pushed myself to my feet. Did it matter that I enjoyed making her happy? I was still doing something for her, and wasn’t that what love was about? I held out my hand to her, and she slipped her slender fingers into my palm. I pulled her to her feet, and her body slid against mine.
“One more day to go.” I kissed her on the top of her head. As long as Emma was in my arms, I knew there was hope for me yet.
Chapter Eleven
Emma consumed my every waking thought, but even the night gave little refuge from my obsession. I had watched her sleeping beside me peacefully for the last hour. Every once in a while, her brow would furrow, and I resisted the urge to reach out and smooth the wrinkles that marred her delicate features. Her lips parted, and her tongue ran out to wet her lips, causing my thoughts to turn darker. I ran my hand over her waist and over the slope of her hip, letting my fingers glide over her bare mound. She stirred as a quiet moan escaped her. She was already damp between her thighs.
I knew the last thing I should’ve been doing was thinking of f**king her, but I couldn’t help myself.
“That was the best wakeup call I have ever received.”
“It’s not over yet.” I took a nipple between my teeth, gently, before rolling my tongue over its peak. I dipped my hand lower, sliding a finger inside her wet entrance.
“Aah…” she moaned as I began to f**k her slowly with my hand and kissed her br**sts. She looped her arms around my neck, and I grabbed her wrist with my free hand and kissed it before forcing it against the pillow above her head. I put my lips against the shell of her ear, loving how she struggled against me.
“I like it when you fight.”
She lifted her hips to push my finger deeper inside of her as she moaned. I slid another finger inside of her pu**y as I rubbed my palm hard against her clit. She pushed her free hand against my chest, and I slammed my body down on hers, unable to contain my grin.
“Bad girl.” My mouth claimed hers, hard and full of wanting. I pulled her lower lip between my teeth, struggling not to bite down so she wouldn’t cry out. She continued to buck against me, begging to find her release. I withdrew from her and grabbed her free hand, securing it above her head with the other.
“I want to hear you beg for it.”
Her mouth clamped shut as she struggled not to give the control over to me. I already had it, and it was between her thighs, throbbing against her entrance. I knew she wanted me just as badly as I wanted her. I pushed against her and she moaned loudly, her lips parted.
“Do you want me?” I asked as I slipped my free hand between us and over her folds.
“Yes.” She lifted her head from the pillow to kiss me, but I pulled back out of reach.
“Tell me you want me.” I kept my mouth out of reach as I tightened my grip on her wrists under my hand.
“I want you, William.”
I thrust into her hard. She cried out in pleasure and pain. I covered her mouth with mine, swallowing her pleas as I f**ked her. My fingers squeezed her delicate wrists as I neared my release. Her hips rocked back against mine, meeting my thrusts with equal passion. I broke away from her perfect f**king lips to stare down at her flushed face.
“Tell me you belong to me.” I needed to hear it, to feel it as she came around my cock.
“I’m yours, William.” I slammed inside of her as every muscle in my body tightened, and I filled her with my come. Her walls constricted around my dick, milking every last drop from me as she let go and tumbled over the edge of ecstasy with me.
I collapsed on top of her, struggling to right my breathing as I focused on the steady thumping of her heart against my chest. I knew mine was just as erratic, and it wasn’t because of the sex. It was her. She would always have this effect on me. I knew if she ever left me, it would stop altogether.
I shook the thought from my head and pulled her from the bed. My plan for the day was to do anything I could to keep her mind off the impending funeral.
We made our way into the bathroom to soak in the tub and clean ourselves up from our morning activities, although I enjoyed the idea of her walking around all day with a piece of me inside of her. I wanted to keep her filled with my seed.
She relaxed against my chest as I ran my fingers down her damp arm.
“Tell me about your first kiss?” Her question caught me off guard and amused me.
“Junior high. She slapped me.” Visions of Katie Moore pinned against her locker in the empty hallway at school filled my memories.
“Quite the lady killer.” Emma laughed, and my hand stilled as I struggled to bite back the anger that always seemed to sit just under the surface.
“I got you didn’t I?” I whispered quietly against her ear. Her body stiffened against me.
“I didn’t mean to offend—”
“You didn’t.” I ran my soapy hand over her leg as I watched the bubbles pop against her silky skin.
“What about pets?” She was eager to change the subject and ease the tension. I was making her scared. I took a deep breath and tried to change my tone.
“I got a golden retriever for Christmas when I was ten. Her name was Lacey. She was a great dog.” She had been my best friend during a lonely childhood. When I was thirteen, my father had come after me for standing up for my mother. Lacey bit his forearm as he swung to hit me. I sat back in shock as she latched on to him, and blood poured from the corners of her mouth. I could hear my father screaming at me to call her off, but I was in a trance as I watched her protect me from the man that should have been my protector.
An hour later, my beloved best friend was dead, and I was tasked to dig the hole in the backyard to bury her.
“What about you?” I asked, wondering if Emma had a best friend who had kept her company and made her feel safe.
“My mother was highly allergic to pet dander. I was never allowed to have a dog.” She sighed heavily. I slid my hands up her arms to her shoulders as I tried to rub the tension from her muscles.
“We can get a dog one day.”
She relaxed against me as she lifted her hand from the water and examined her fingers.
“I’m beginning to prune.”
I stepped out of the tub and got us each a towel. I was unable to pull my eyes from her body as she ran dried herself off. We made our way back to the bedroom and pulled on some clothes. As much as I would have loved to keep Emma naked all day, I needed to prove to myself that there were more reasons for my affection toward her. It was becoming an obsession. I watched as she pulled on a tank top and jeans while I buttoned my own pants and pulled a navy blue shirt over my head.
Emma took my hand and pulled me into the kitchen, motioning for me to sit down at the island as she made her way around the kitchen to prepare us brunch. I hated not being the one in charge at all times, but even I couldn’t deny how well she fit in around here. She belonged.
“I need to get these smoke detectors upgraded if you’re going to take over cooking in my kitchen.” She glared over her shoulder at me as she stood in front of the stove.
“Careful.” I cocked an eyebrow at her, and her cheeks flushed as she turned her attention back to the omelet in the frying pan.
“So…what are our plans for the day?” She asked as she flipped the food. I saw a splatter of melted butter fly from the pan and sizzle on top of the burner.
“I was thinking we could rent a movie, cuddle on the couch.” I couldn’t focus on anything but wanting to take the spatula from her hand. Being equal in a relationship was definitely lower on my list of priorities. I pushed up from my seat and made my way to the coffee maker so I could brew a fresh pot.
“A movie sounds great.” I grabbed some plates from the cupboard and sat them next to her. She dished out the food as I grabbed two coffee mugs and waited for the pot to finish brewing. Even without total control, we worked well together, and I knew I could get used to that.
We both sat at the island as I looked over my plate. It looked and smelled amazing.
“This is nice, having you here all the time.” I took a bite of my food and struggled not to make a face. Perhaps giving over control of the kitchen would have to wait. I watched her as she began to eat, scrunching her nose as she tasted it.
We ate in silence, and I made sure to eat every last bite. Was it selfless to suffer through her horrendous cooking to keep from hurting her feelings? I’m going to break Stephen’s f**king nose for making me question my every motive.
I cleared our plates and had to smile when I noticed Emma had finished her meal without me having to tell her to. It made me wonder, if she weren’t someone I saw as a victim who needed guidance, would my feelings for her have taken hold of me the way they had. What if she became stronger and didn’t need me to help her anymore? Would she still want me? Would I still need her?
I washed our dishes as I thought over our relationship. I had spent years blocking out any emotional attachment to others, and now I was overwhelmed. My last relationship ended badly, and as easy as it was for me to put the blame on Abby, I knew that my life turned out the way it had because of the way I am. I had needed control, and if someone had stood in the way of something I wanted, I didn’t hesitate to take him or her out of the equation. I didn’t know what the outcome would be if Emma challenged my authority. That scared me more than anything did. I could never truly protect her if I couldn’t leave her.
I drove us down to the movie store across town and made my way through the aisles as I glanced over the covers. Emma took off toward the romantic comedies.
“What about this one?” She held up a DVD that had a female bounty hunter on the cover. I frowned and shook my head as I grabbed the movie in front of me that had caught my attention. The cover was a man smiling with a bloody knife in his hand.
“Fine, if you throw in some popcorn, it’s a deal,”
I rounded the end of my aisle, wrapped my arm around her waist, and pulled her body against mine.
“Good girl.” I whispered, and she relaxed against me.
We headed back to my place and prepared for our romantic evening in. Emma popped the popcorn as I popped in the movie. I grabbed the comforter from my bed and brought it out for us to cuddle under.
The movie started out like most thrillers do. The killer was stalking an unsuspecting woman who was wearing next to nothing.
I pulled Emma closer to me as I ran my hand up her thigh, my lips ghosting over her neck.
“I’m actually enjoying this.” She pointed to the television, and I watched as the killer chased a woman up a set of stairs. She tripped, and he grabbed her. Emma’s body melted against mine as she tensed, waiting for the bloody fight. I laughed against her neck, loving how she felt safe with me. I knew it was sick and twisted, given my secrets, but I felt just as safe with her. I knew she had my heart, and at any moment, she could crush it if she chose to. She had just as much power as I did.
“William,” she laughed, and her hands flew over her eyes as the killer sliced the knife through the victim. “Arghh!” She squealed. My hand slid farther up her thigh as I laughed at her reaction. Emma being afraid was a huge turn on, and my c**k grew painfully hard.
“Don’t you want to see him get caught?” She asked as she took a few pieces of popcorn and shoved them in her mouth.
“How do you know he won’t get away with it?” I reached into the bowl in her lap and grabbed some popcorn for myself.
“They never get away with it. Come on. They always leave some sort of clues behind. It’s like they want to get caught. She rolled her eyes as she watched the scene continue to unfold.
“You think that guy wants to get caught?” I pointed at the television. The killer was still in the victim’s house and waiting for her friends to arrive.
“Subconsciously, yes.”
I couldn’t help but smirk at the absurdity of her logic. If the killer felt that guilty, surely he could have just turned himself in before committing the act and saved the girl. Instead, he planned and carried out murder. There is a thrill in the ritual of the act, and it becomes a high to forever chase. You justify your actions. The power outweighs the consequences.
“Stupid does not mean he wants to get caught. It just means he’s not smart enough to do it right.” I knew without a doubt I didn’t want to have anyone discover the things I had done, most of all Emma. I didn’t need to free the demon inside of me; I just needed to learn to control him better.
“Whatever.” Emma threw a piece of popcorn at me, and it rolled down my chest.
“Bad girl.” I flipped my body on top of hers, sending popcorn flying as I pinned her under my weight.
“We’re going to miss the movie.”
I pressed my hips into hers so she could feel how hard I was.
“Fuck the movie.” I slipped my tongue inside her mouth as I slowly lowered her back on the couch. “I want to make you scream like you did a minute ago.” I pulled my mouth from hers so I could take her shirt off and toss it on the floor. I did the same with mine and watched as her eyes danced over my chest. I fell back on top of her. I palmed the weight of her breast, and my thumb and forefinger rolled over her nipple, giving her a small pinch.
“Fuck the movie,” she panted, and I smiled as I quickly unbuckled her pants. I sat up to pull them off her legs along with her panties. I stared down at her perfect naked body as I undid my belt and slid off my own jeans and boxers.
“Stand up.”
She slowly pushed to her feet and stood in front of me. My eyes raked over her naked body before I gripped her hips and spun her around.
“Put your knees on the couch and hold on to the back.”
I winked and pushed myself to my feet. Did it matter that I enjoyed making her happy? I was still doing something for her, and wasn’t that what love was about? I held out my hand to her, and she slipped her slender fingers into my palm. I pulled her to her feet, and her body slid against mine.
“One more day to go.” I kissed her on the top of her head. As long as Emma was in my arms, I knew there was hope for me yet.
Chapter Eleven
Emma consumed my every waking thought, but even the night gave little refuge from my obsession. I had watched her sleeping beside me peacefully for the last hour. Every once in a while, her brow would furrow, and I resisted the urge to reach out and smooth the wrinkles that marred her delicate features. Her lips parted, and her tongue ran out to wet her lips, causing my thoughts to turn darker. I ran my hand over her waist and over the slope of her hip, letting my fingers glide over her bare mound. She stirred as a quiet moan escaped her. She was already damp between her thighs.
I knew the last thing I should’ve been doing was thinking of f**king her, but I couldn’t help myself.
“That was the best wakeup call I have ever received.”
“It’s not over yet.” I took a nipple between my teeth, gently, before rolling my tongue over its peak. I dipped my hand lower, sliding a finger inside her wet entrance.
“Aah…” she moaned as I began to f**k her slowly with my hand and kissed her br**sts. She looped her arms around my neck, and I grabbed her wrist with my free hand and kissed it before forcing it against the pillow above her head. I put my lips against the shell of her ear, loving how she struggled against me.
“I like it when you fight.”
She lifted her hips to push my finger deeper inside of her as she moaned. I slid another finger inside of her pu**y as I rubbed my palm hard against her clit. She pushed her free hand against my chest, and I slammed my body down on hers, unable to contain my grin.
“Bad girl.” My mouth claimed hers, hard and full of wanting. I pulled her lower lip between my teeth, struggling not to bite down so she wouldn’t cry out. She continued to buck against me, begging to find her release. I withdrew from her and grabbed her free hand, securing it above her head with the other.
“I want to hear you beg for it.”
Her mouth clamped shut as she struggled not to give the control over to me. I already had it, and it was between her thighs, throbbing against her entrance. I knew she wanted me just as badly as I wanted her. I pushed against her and she moaned loudly, her lips parted.
“Do you want me?” I asked as I slipped my free hand between us and over her folds.
“Yes.” She lifted her head from the pillow to kiss me, but I pulled back out of reach.
“Tell me you want me.” I kept my mouth out of reach as I tightened my grip on her wrists under my hand.
“I want you, William.”
I thrust into her hard. She cried out in pleasure and pain. I covered her mouth with mine, swallowing her pleas as I f**ked her. My fingers squeezed her delicate wrists as I neared my release. Her hips rocked back against mine, meeting my thrusts with equal passion. I broke away from her perfect f**king lips to stare down at her flushed face.
“Tell me you belong to me.” I needed to hear it, to feel it as she came around my cock.
“I’m yours, William.” I slammed inside of her as every muscle in my body tightened, and I filled her with my come. Her walls constricted around my dick, milking every last drop from me as she let go and tumbled over the edge of ecstasy with me.
I collapsed on top of her, struggling to right my breathing as I focused on the steady thumping of her heart against my chest. I knew mine was just as erratic, and it wasn’t because of the sex. It was her. She would always have this effect on me. I knew if she ever left me, it would stop altogether.
I shook the thought from my head and pulled her from the bed. My plan for the day was to do anything I could to keep her mind off the impending funeral.
We made our way into the bathroom to soak in the tub and clean ourselves up from our morning activities, although I enjoyed the idea of her walking around all day with a piece of me inside of her. I wanted to keep her filled with my seed.
She relaxed against my chest as I ran my fingers down her damp arm.
“Tell me about your first kiss?” Her question caught me off guard and amused me.
“Junior high. She slapped me.” Visions of Katie Moore pinned against her locker in the empty hallway at school filled my memories.
“Quite the lady killer.” Emma laughed, and my hand stilled as I struggled to bite back the anger that always seemed to sit just under the surface.
“I got you didn’t I?” I whispered quietly against her ear. Her body stiffened against me.
“I didn’t mean to offend—”
“You didn’t.” I ran my soapy hand over her leg as I watched the bubbles pop against her silky skin.
“What about pets?” She was eager to change the subject and ease the tension. I was making her scared. I took a deep breath and tried to change my tone.
“I got a golden retriever for Christmas when I was ten. Her name was Lacey. She was a great dog.” She had been my best friend during a lonely childhood. When I was thirteen, my father had come after me for standing up for my mother. Lacey bit his forearm as he swung to hit me. I sat back in shock as she latched on to him, and blood poured from the corners of her mouth. I could hear my father screaming at me to call her off, but I was in a trance as I watched her protect me from the man that should have been my protector.
An hour later, my beloved best friend was dead, and I was tasked to dig the hole in the backyard to bury her.
“What about you?” I asked, wondering if Emma had a best friend who had kept her company and made her feel safe.
“My mother was highly allergic to pet dander. I was never allowed to have a dog.” She sighed heavily. I slid my hands up her arms to her shoulders as I tried to rub the tension from her muscles.
“We can get a dog one day.”
She relaxed against me as she lifted her hand from the water and examined her fingers.
“I’m beginning to prune.”
I stepped out of the tub and got us each a towel. I was unable to pull my eyes from her body as she ran dried herself off. We made our way back to the bedroom and pulled on some clothes. As much as I would have loved to keep Emma naked all day, I needed to prove to myself that there were more reasons for my affection toward her. It was becoming an obsession. I watched as she pulled on a tank top and jeans while I buttoned my own pants and pulled a navy blue shirt over my head.
Emma took my hand and pulled me into the kitchen, motioning for me to sit down at the island as she made her way around the kitchen to prepare us brunch. I hated not being the one in charge at all times, but even I couldn’t deny how well she fit in around here. She belonged.
“I need to get these smoke detectors upgraded if you’re going to take over cooking in my kitchen.” She glared over her shoulder at me as she stood in front of the stove.
“Careful.” I cocked an eyebrow at her, and her cheeks flushed as she turned her attention back to the omelet in the frying pan.
“So…what are our plans for the day?” She asked as she flipped the food. I saw a splatter of melted butter fly from the pan and sizzle on top of the burner.
“I was thinking we could rent a movie, cuddle on the couch.” I couldn’t focus on anything but wanting to take the spatula from her hand. Being equal in a relationship was definitely lower on my list of priorities. I pushed up from my seat and made my way to the coffee maker so I could brew a fresh pot.
“A movie sounds great.” I grabbed some plates from the cupboard and sat them next to her. She dished out the food as I grabbed two coffee mugs and waited for the pot to finish brewing. Even without total control, we worked well together, and I knew I could get used to that.
We both sat at the island as I looked over my plate. It looked and smelled amazing.
“This is nice, having you here all the time.” I took a bite of my food and struggled not to make a face. Perhaps giving over control of the kitchen would have to wait. I watched her as she began to eat, scrunching her nose as she tasted it.
We ate in silence, and I made sure to eat every last bite. Was it selfless to suffer through her horrendous cooking to keep from hurting her feelings? I’m going to break Stephen’s f**king nose for making me question my every motive.
I cleared our plates and had to smile when I noticed Emma had finished her meal without me having to tell her to. It made me wonder, if she weren’t someone I saw as a victim who needed guidance, would my feelings for her have taken hold of me the way they had. What if she became stronger and didn’t need me to help her anymore? Would she still want me? Would I still need her?
I washed our dishes as I thought over our relationship. I had spent years blocking out any emotional attachment to others, and now I was overwhelmed. My last relationship ended badly, and as easy as it was for me to put the blame on Abby, I knew that my life turned out the way it had because of the way I am. I had needed control, and if someone had stood in the way of something I wanted, I didn’t hesitate to take him or her out of the equation. I didn’t know what the outcome would be if Emma challenged my authority. That scared me more than anything did. I could never truly protect her if I couldn’t leave her.
I drove us down to the movie store across town and made my way through the aisles as I glanced over the covers. Emma took off toward the romantic comedies.
“What about this one?” She held up a DVD that had a female bounty hunter on the cover. I frowned and shook my head as I grabbed the movie in front of me that had caught my attention. The cover was a man smiling with a bloody knife in his hand.
“Fine, if you throw in some popcorn, it’s a deal,”
I rounded the end of my aisle, wrapped my arm around her waist, and pulled her body against mine.
“Good girl.” I whispered, and she relaxed against me.
We headed back to my place and prepared for our romantic evening in. Emma popped the popcorn as I popped in the movie. I grabbed the comforter from my bed and brought it out for us to cuddle under.
The movie started out like most thrillers do. The killer was stalking an unsuspecting woman who was wearing next to nothing.
I pulled Emma closer to me as I ran my hand up her thigh, my lips ghosting over her neck.
“I’m actually enjoying this.” She pointed to the television, and I watched as the killer chased a woman up a set of stairs. She tripped, and he grabbed her. Emma’s body melted against mine as she tensed, waiting for the bloody fight. I laughed against her neck, loving how she felt safe with me. I knew it was sick and twisted, given my secrets, but I felt just as safe with her. I knew she had my heart, and at any moment, she could crush it if she chose to. She had just as much power as I did.
“William,” she laughed, and her hands flew over her eyes as the killer sliced the knife through the victim. “Arghh!” She squealed. My hand slid farther up her thigh as I laughed at her reaction. Emma being afraid was a huge turn on, and my c**k grew painfully hard.
“Don’t you want to see him get caught?” She asked as she took a few pieces of popcorn and shoved them in her mouth.
“How do you know he won’t get away with it?” I reached into the bowl in her lap and grabbed some popcorn for myself.
“They never get away with it. Come on. They always leave some sort of clues behind. It’s like they want to get caught. She rolled her eyes as she watched the scene continue to unfold.
“You think that guy wants to get caught?” I pointed at the television. The killer was still in the victim’s house and waiting for her friends to arrive.
“Subconsciously, yes.”
I couldn’t help but smirk at the absurdity of her logic. If the killer felt that guilty, surely he could have just turned himself in before committing the act and saved the girl. Instead, he planned and carried out murder. There is a thrill in the ritual of the act, and it becomes a high to forever chase. You justify your actions. The power outweighs the consequences.
“Stupid does not mean he wants to get caught. It just means he’s not smart enough to do it right.” I knew without a doubt I didn’t want to have anyone discover the things I had done, most of all Emma. I didn’t need to free the demon inside of me; I just needed to learn to control him better.
“Whatever.” Emma threw a piece of popcorn at me, and it rolled down my chest.
“Bad girl.” I flipped my body on top of hers, sending popcorn flying as I pinned her under my weight.
“We’re going to miss the movie.”
I pressed my hips into hers so she could feel how hard I was.
“Fuck the movie.” I slipped my tongue inside her mouth as I slowly lowered her back on the couch. “I want to make you scream like you did a minute ago.” I pulled my mouth from hers so I could take her shirt off and toss it on the floor. I did the same with mine and watched as her eyes danced over my chest. I fell back on top of her. I palmed the weight of her breast, and my thumb and forefinger rolled over her nipple, giving her a small pinch.
“Fuck the movie,” she panted, and I smiled as I quickly unbuckled her pants. I sat up to pull them off her legs along with her panties. I stared down at her perfect naked body as I undid my belt and slid off my own jeans and boxers.
“Stand up.”
She slowly pushed to her feet and stood in front of me. My eyes raked over her naked body before I gripped her hips and spun her around.
“Put your knees on the couch and hold on to the back.”
