Honor
Page 61
“He was ruined long before I got my hands on him. But he lets me see that there is more to him. He wants to be better than he was before and you can’t stand that because it means you don’t deserve him. You see him pushing himself to be a man that’s too good for you because he’s not a total monster . . . he’s just a man with a little bit of the devil inside of him.” It was more than a little bit but that was splitting hairs and I was done arguing with her about what was mine.
I claimed him.
I understood him.
I earned him.
I loved him.
There was no getting around the fact anymore. It wasn’t fear or the magnetism that pulled us together that I couldn’t escape. It was love, obsession, maybe even fate and purpose that tied us together. It was all around me, all inside of me, and it was all him. It had always been him.
“Get out of this house and don’t come back. If you make me tell Nassir what happened here tonight, falling down the stairs and getting a broken nose will seem like child’s play.”
That was a threat that finally got through to her. The idea of him being the one to send her away, of him casting her aside for what had happened tonight, was what had her fleeing into the night. When Nassir got home I was going to have to ask him what the girl’s backstory was because it must’ve been pretty bad for that to be what finally got through to her. Without another word, she spun on her heel and left without bothering to close the front door behind her.
I winced as my head continued to let me know it had taken a thorough pounding. I walked across the living room to shut the door, but as soon as I got there I was almost run over by yet another dark-haired beauty as she came flying through the entrance.
Reeve was already talking a mile a minute and her hands were waving in the air like she was conducting an invisible symphony. She was talking so fast I could only make out every other word. I heard “Titus,” “asshole,” “jerk face,” and “I’ll show him.” She stomped into the house and looked like she was going to make her way to the kitchen when the blood smeared across the wall and floor brought her up short.
“What happened?”
I rubbed my forehead. “Reeve, how did you get up to the house? Nassir’s guards don’t let anyone through the gates.”
“I’m pregnant and pissed off. I told the guy at the gate that if he didn’t let me in I was going to call Nassir and tell him that he made me cry. He waffled for a minute but another car was coming out so he had to open the gate up anyways. I just drove through. Are you okay? What happened here?”
I followed her into the kitchen and took some ice out of the freezer to wrap up in a towel and put on the back of my head where my skull had smacked across the housekeeper’s face.
“What are you doing here, Reeve? Does Titus know where you’re at? If he comes looking for you and Nassir comes home and finds the cop here, it isn’t going to be pretty for any of us after what went down at the club today.” I didn’t want to try to explain what had happneed with the housekeeper. It was going to be complicated enough telling Nassir the girl had to go without him resorting to drastic measures to get rid of her.
She walked around me, pulled open the fridge, and dug around until she found one of Nassir’s bottles of water and an apple.
“That’s why I’m here. I was so mad at Titus when he told me about the raid on the club. We got into a huge fight and we both said some pretty nasty things. I had to leave before it got worse. I told him I was coming to see you, but that doesn’t mean he still won’t show up. Overprotective idiot.”
She did sound annoyed but her voice couldn’t help but soften when she talked about her hot cop.
“Were you mad that he conducted the raid without telling you?”
She shook her head. “No, I mean he has to do his job. I don’t always love it and sometimes I don’t agree with how black and white he tends to be, but I love him, so that means I love everything about him. I don’t get to pick and choose which parts I love. I was furious he didn’t tell me because he thought I would tell Nassir. I love my job and I like working for him, but I’d never put him before the father of my child.”
Her dark eyebrows knitted. “It hurt my feelings that Titus would question my loyalty like that.”
Her teeth snapped into the apple and the crunch made me cringe. This headache felt like it was going to overrun my entire body. It was weird to be having this conversation with Reeve. Not too long ago I had been the girl flatly declaring that she wasn’t good enough for the sexy detective. That had also resulted in a tussle, but Reeve was from the streets and actually knew how to throw a punch.
“Maybe he just wanted to keep you from having to make that choice. I mean he knows you love your job and he doesn’t say much about the fact that you get your paycheck from a crime lord. Maybe he didn’t want you to be caught between him and Nassir.” Nassir liked having Reeve in charge of the club, but he didn’t do anything without expecting something in return. He would’ve been annoyed to learn that she knew about Titus and the police raid without giving him some kind of heads-up. I wasn’t sure he would take it as far as firing her or taking the strip club out of her hands, but I knew him well enough not to put anything past him.
She heaved a deep sigh and propped her chin on her hands. “He needs to give me the opportunity to show him I will always do right by him. I feel like he never even gives me an opportunity to screw up anymore.”
I laughed but it turned into a groan. “Isn’t that a good thing? Didn’t you used to have screwing up down to an art form?”
Her dark blue eyes sparked with mischief. “But I know better now.”
I put both of my hands on my temples and rubbed small circles. “How do you handle knowing your man is out there on the streets every day with a countless number of people trying to hurt him or worse? Every time he leaves the house, how do you not cling to him and try to make him stay? Especially now with a baby on the way. Don’t you constantly worry about what you’re going to do if something happens to him?” I was still so worried about letting Nassir have everything I was, and then being left alone when he was gone.
She blinked a little bit at my change of topic and tilted her head so that she was looking at me thoughtfully.
“You can’t think that way. All you can do is love him the best you can while you’ve got him so that he has something extra important to come home to. Titus has always been pretty careful, but think about what Dovie goes through with Bax, or what Brysen has to go through wondering if Race is going to go up against someone determined not to pay their debt. All we can do is worry and waste time trying to control things that are out of our hands. These men we love . . .” She gave her head a little shake and a soft smile tilted up the edges of her mouth. “They should come with clear warning labels. Not that it would matter because our hearts wouldn’t pay attention anyway.”
I claimed him.
I understood him.
I earned him.
I loved him.
There was no getting around the fact anymore. It wasn’t fear or the magnetism that pulled us together that I couldn’t escape. It was love, obsession, maybe even fate and purpose that tied us together. It was all around me, all inside of me, and it was all him. It had always been him.
“Get out of this house and don’t come back. If you make me tell Nassir what happened here tonight, falling down the stairs and getting a broken nose will seem like child’s play.”
That was a threat that finally got through to her. The idea of him being the one to send her away, of him casting her aside for what had happened tonight, was what had her fleeing into the night. When Nassir got home I was going to have to ask him what the girl’s backstory was because it must’ve been pretty bad for that to be what finally got through to her. Without another word, she spun on her heel and left without bothering to close the front door behind her.
I winced as my head continued to let me know it had taken a thorough pounding. I walked across the living room to shut the door, but as soon as I got there I was almost run over by yet another dark-haired beauty as she came flying through the entrance.
Reeve was already talking a mile a minute and her hands were waving in the air like she was conducting an invisible symphony. She was talking so fast I could only make out every other word. I heard “Titus,” “asshole,” “jerk face,” and “I’ll show him.” She stomped into the house and looked like she was going to make her way to the kitchen when the blood smeared across the wall and floor brought her up short.
“What happened?”
I rubbed my forehead. “Reeve, how did you get up to the house? Nassir’s guards don’t let anyone through the gates.”
“I’m pregnant and pissed off. I told the guy at the gate that if he didn’t let me in I was going to call Nassir and tell him that he made me cry. He waffled for a minute but another car was coming out so he had to open the gate up anyways. I just drove through. Are you okay? What happened here?”
I followed her into the kitchen and took some ice out of the freezer to wrap up in a towel and put on the back of my head where my skull had smacked across the housekeeper’s face.
“What are you doing here, Reeve? Does Titus know where you’re at? If he comes looking for you and Nassir comes home and finds the cop here, it isn’t going to be pretty for any of us after what went down at the club today.” I didn’t want to try to explain what had happneed with the housekeeper. It was going to be complicated enough telling Nassir the girl had to go without him resorting to drastic measures to get rid of her.
She walked around me, pulled open the fridge, and dug around until she found one of Nassir’s bottles of water and an apple.
“That’s why I’m here. I was so mad at Titus when he told me about the raid on the club. We got into a huge fight and we both said some pretty nasty things. I had to leave before it got worse. I told him I was coming to see you, but that doesn’t mean he still won’t show up. Overprotective idiot.”
She did sound annoyed but her voice couldn’t help but soften when she talked about her hot cop.
“Were you mad that he conducted the raid without telling you?”
She shook her head. “No, I mean he has to do his job. I don’t always love it and sometimes I don’t agree with how black and white he tends to be, but I love him, so that means I love everything about him. I don’t get to pick and choose which parts I love. I was furious he didn’t tell me because he thought I would tell Nassir. I love my job and I like working for him, but I’d never put him before the father of my child.”
Her dark eyebrows knitted. “It hurt my feelings that Titus would question my loyalty like that.”
Her teeth snapped into the apple and the crunch made me cringe. This headache felt like it was going to overrun my entire body. It was weird to be having this conversation with Reeve. Not too long ago I had been the girl flatly declaring that she wasn’t good enough for the sexy detective. That had also resulted in a tussle, but Reeve was from the streets and actually knew how to throw a punch.
“Maybe he just wanted to keep you from having to make that choice. I mean he knows you love your job and he doesn’t say much about the fact that you get your paycheck from a crime lord. Maybe he didn’t want you to be caught between him and Nassir.” Nassir liked having Reeve in charge of the club, but he didn’t do anything without expecting something in return. He would’ve been annoyed to learn that she knew about Titus and the police raid without giving him some kind of heads-up. I wasn’t sure he would take it as far as firing her or taking the strip club out of her hands, but I knew him well enough not to put anything past him.
She heaved a deep sigh and propped her chin on her hands. “He needs to give me the opportunity to show him I will always do right by him. I feel like he never even gives me an opportunity to screw up anymore.”
I laughed but it turned into a groan. “Isn’t that a good thing? Didn’t you used to have screwing up down to an art form?”
Her dark blue eyes sparked with mischief. “But I know better now.”
I put both of my hands on my temples and rubbed small circles. “How do you handle knowing your man is out there on the streets every day with a countless number of people trying to hurt him or worse? Every time he leaves the house, how do you not cling to him and try to make him stay? Especially now with a baby on the way. Don’t you constantly worry about what you’re going to do if something happens to him?” I was still so worried about letting Nassir have everything I was, and then being left alone when he was gone.
She blinked a little bit at my change of topic and tilted her head so that she was looking at me thoughtfully.
“You can’t think that way. All you can do is love him the best you can while you’ve got him so that he has something extra important to come home to. Titus has always been pretty careful, but think about what Dovie goes through with Bax, or what Brysen has to go through wondering if Race is going to go up against someone determined not to pay their debt. All we can do is worry and waste time trying to control things that are out of our hands. These men we love . . .” She gave her head a little shake and a soft smile tilted up the edges of her mouth. “They should come with clear warning labels. Not that it would matter because our hearts wouldn’t pay attention anyway.”
