Hooked by Love
Page 100
Looking over at him, I nod. “No, Caleb didn’t tell me to do it or anything. He didn’t write whore across my locker or even taunt me to the point of a mental breakdown. Nope, that wasn’t him, huh?”
Matty shrugs as my parents both look lost. Even Seth and Laurence are confused. “Guess not.”
“Guess it wasn’t you who stood by and watched him ruin my life, beg me to leave this world because I was nothing, huh?”
His lips curve into a grin and he shrugs again. “Nope, guess not.”
“Matty, is that true?” my mom asks, her eyes wide.
“She’s insane, Mom. I don’t know. You might want to up her meds.”
“Fuck you,” I scream, taking a step toward him. “You are a worthless piece of shit who will never amount to anything ’cause you take pride in hurting other people.”
He scoffs. “You are the only one I don’t care about, Avery. I mean, how could I? When all you do is beg for attention instead of shutting your fucking mouth.”
Turning to my parents, I hold my hand out to my brothers. “Do you see this? Do you see how they treat me, and yet you do nothing,” I yell and Matty laughs.
“Why would they? All you do is bitch and moan. ‘No one loves me.’ ‘All you care about is hockey.’ Me, me, me. All you care about is yourself. You’re the selfish, poor excuse for a human.”
I glare, my heart pounding in my ears. I swear to God, I have no clue who this person is. Family isn’t supposed to do this to you. Especially the person you shared a womb with. “Why do you even talk to me, Matty?”
“Believe me, I don’t want to.”
“Then I’m gone. All of you, I’m gone. You’ll never ever have to deal with me again,” I sneer as I back away, looking at each of the faces of the people who are my so-called family.
“Now, Avery, calm down. There is no reason to act like this,” my dad says, but I shake my head.
“Are you coming to my showcase in March?”
He pauses and looks to my mom for help, but she shrugs. “Now, Avery, you know that I can’t get away easily…”
“So that’s a no.”
“Well, let me see what I can do—”
“But you got time off for Matty’s and Laurence’s first games. For Seth’s game in Jersey. But you can’t get off for something that’s in five months? Can’t move your schedule around?”
“Avery, that’s different. I have to know the talent coming up.”
“No, it’s ’cause I don’t matter to anyone in this house. I’m just a fucking problem. Someone who is always in the way.”
“That’s not true,” my mom says, taking a step toward me. “Honey, we love you.”
“Yeah, maybe you love me, but you sure as hell don’t care about me. That’s fine. I’m done with this family.”
With that, I turn to walk away, just as Matty says, “Oh, there she goes, attention-seeking Avery throwing a fit ’cause no one is up her ass.”
Turning around, I bite out, “Fuck off.”
“Don’t you see why you are treated the way you are? Because you’re pathetic. No one cares. Hell, half of us don’t even love you.”
“Matthew,” my parents exclaim, but Matty doesn’t care, he just glares.
“So please, don’t lie to us. Keep your promise.”
“Why don’t you just shut the fuck up?”
“Make me.”
I really don’t know what gets into me. I don’t even know what is happening, but then I’m across the room, slamming my fist into his chest. But he’s so much bigger than me and he just swats me away. Hard. I lose my footing, slamming my face into the counter. Then I’m on the floor, and his laughter is filling the room as my mom rushes to me.
“Honey!”
Smacking her hands away, I sit up, the tears burning my eyes, pain throbbing along my nose, and blood dripping down my lips. Narrowing my eyes at Matty, I say, “I hate you.”
“Same here, sweetheart,” he says with a wink.
My body is shaking with anger as I get up slowly, ignoring the help my mother is trying to give me. I refuse to be weak. I refuse to let him know he hurt me. So I hold my head high, covering my injured nose as I walk out of the kitchen.
And no one stops me.
Because I don’t fucking matter.
Reaching my room, I push the door open and go straight to my bathroom to clean up. Holding on to the sink, I suck in a sob as my blood drips into my sink. The last time blood was on this sink, I caused it. I sat here and dragged the knife so far into my skin that my wrists still burn to this day. I can still see the blood pouring from them and the feeling of weakness spilling from my body. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be around these people.
They only hurt me.
When a towel appears in front of my face, I look up to see Julian. Taking it from him, I sniff before holding it to my face. “Don’t cry, Avery,” he says, cupping my shoulder. “They aren’t worth your tears.” My head jerks in a nod as he smiles. “Anything you need?”
Jace. I need Jace.
Shaking my head, my voice is muffled as I say, “No, I’m fine. I’m just gonna go to bed.”
“Okay, call for me if you do.”
“Thank you,” I say as he turns and leaves the room, shutting my door in the process. Closing my eyes, I lean back into the sink and then slide down it, welcoming the pain of the knobs digging into my back. When my butt hits the floor, I shake my head, unsure why this is the family God chose for me. Why couldn’t I get a supportive, loving family like Jace? Yeah, it’s a little damaged, but aren’t we all? I know I am.
That shouldn’t matter. My mom should love me—they all should—but yet no one hasn’t even come to check on me. Nope. Nothing. I just don’t understand, but it’s starting to make me realize that maybe it wasn’t me who wasn’t enough. Maybe it was they who weren’t enough for me. Maybe I’m not the problem, or it isn’t even hockey that’s the problem.
It’s them.
Because Jace wouldn’t ever let that happen, neither would his momma. Hell, his whole family. They would never speak to each other like that. They would be there for each other, lifting each other up. Hell, they do the same for me, and they don’t even know me. Yeah, they may wrestle and be silly, but they would never push someone with the intent to hurt them. No, only the people who are my blood do this to me. What did I ever do to deserve this?
Matty shrugs as my parents both look lost. Even Seth and Laurence are confused. “Guess not.”
“Guess it wasn’t you who stood by and watched him ruin my life, beg me to leave this world because I was nothing, huh?”
His lips curve into a grin and he shrugs again. “Nope, guess not.”
“Matty, is that true?” my mom asks, her eyes wide.
“She’s insane, Mom. I don’t know. You might want to up her meds.”
“Fuck you,” I scream, taking a step toward him. “You are a worthless piece of shit who will never amount to anything ’cause you take pride in hurting other people.”
He scoffs. “You are the only one I don’t care about, Avery. I mean, how could I? When all you do is beg for attention instead of shutting your fucking mouth.”
Turning to my parents, I hold my hand out to my brothers. “Do you see this? Do you see how they treat me, and yet you do nothing,” I yell and Matty laughs.
“Why would they? All you do is bitch and moan. ‘No one loves me.’ ‘All you care about is hockey.’ Me, me, me. All you care about is yourself. You’re the selfish, poor excuse for a human.”
I glare, my heart pounding in my ears. I swear to God, I have no clue who this person is. Family isn’t supposed to do this to you. Especially the person you shared a womb with. “Why do you even talk to me, Matty?”
“Believe me, I don’t want to.”
“Then I’m gone. All of you, I’m gone. You’ll never ever have to deal with me again,” I sneer as I back away, looking at each of the faces of the people who are my so-called family.
“Now, Avery, calm down. There is no reason to act like this,” my dad says, but I shake my head.
“Are you coming to my showcase in March?”
He pauses and looks to my mom for help, but she shrugs. “Now, Avery, you know that I can’t get away easily…”
“So that’s a no.”
“Well, let me see what I can do—”
“But you got time off for Matty’s and Laurence’s first games. For Seth’s game in Jersey. But you can’t get off for something that’s in five months? Can’t move your schedule around?”
“Avery, that’s different. I have to know the talent coming up.”
“No, it’s ’cause I don’t matter to anyone in this house. I’m just a fucking problem. Someone who is always in the way.”
“That’s not true,” my mom says, taking a step toward me. “Honey, we love you.”
“Yeah, maybe you love me, but you sure as hell don’t care about me. That’s fine. I’m done with this family.”
With that, I turn to walk away, just as Matty says, “Oh, there she goes, attention-seeking Avery throwing a fit ’cause no one is up her ass.”
Turning around, I bite out, “Fuck off.”
“Don’t you see why you are treated the way you are? Because you’re pathetic. No one cares. Hell, half of us don’t even love you.”
“Matthew,” my parents exclaim, but Matty doesn’t care, he just glares.
“So please, don’t lie to us. Keep your promise.”
“Why don’t you just shut the fuck up?”
“Make me.”
I really don’t know what gets into me. I don’t even know what is happening, but then I’m across the room, slamming my fist into his chest. But he’s so much bigger than me and he just swats me away. Hard. I lose my footing, slamming my face into the counter. Then I’m on the floor, and his laughter is filling the room as my mom rushes to me.
“Honey!”
Smacking her hands away, I sit up, the tears burning my eyes, pain throbbing along my nose, and blood dripping down my lips. Narrowing my eyes at Matty, I say, “I hate you.”
“Same here, sweetheart,” he says with a wink.
My body is shaking with anger as I get up slowly, ignoring the help my mother is trying to give me. I refuse to be weak. I refuse to let him know he hurt me. So I hold my head high, covering my injured nose as I walk out of the kitchen.
And no one stops me.
Because I don’t fucking matter.
Reaching my room, I push the door open and go straight to my bathroom to clean up. Holding on to the sink, I suck in a sob as my blood drips into my sink. The last time blood was on this sink, I caused it. I sat here and dragged the knife so far into my skin that my wrists still burn to this day. I can still see the blood pouring from them and the feeling of weakness spilling from my body. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be around these people.
They only hurt me.
When a towel appears in front of my face, I look up to see Julian. Taking it from him, I sniff before holding it to my face. “Don’t cry, Avery,” he says, cupping my shoulder. “They aren’t worth your tears.” My head jerks in a nod as he smiles. “Anything you need?”
Jace. I need Jace.
Shaking my head, my voice is muffled as I say, “No, I’m fine. I’m just gonna go to bed.”
“Okay, call for me if you do.”
“Thank you,” I say as he turns and leaves the room, shutting my door in the process. Closing my eyes, I lean back into the sink and then slide down it, welcoming the pain of the knobs digging into my back. When my butt hits the floor, I shake my head, unsure why this is the family God chose for me. Why couldn’t I get a supportive, loving family like Jace? Yeah, it’s a little damaged, but aren’t we all? I know I am.
That shouldn’t matter. My mom should love me—they all should—but yet no one hasn’t even come to check on me. Nope. Nothing. I just don’t understand, but it’s starting to make me realize that maybe it wasn’t me who wasn’t enough. Maybe it was they who weren’t enough for me. Maybe I’m not the problem, or it isn’t even hockey that’s the problem.
It’s them.
Because Jace wouldn’t ever let that happen, neither would his momma. Hell, his whole family. They would never speak to each other like that. They would be there for each other, lifting each other up. Hell, they do the same for me, and they don’t even know me. Yeah, they may wrestle and be silly, but they would never push someone with the intent to hurt them. No, only the people who are my blood do this to me. What did I ever do to deserve this?
