Hooked by Love
Page 128
I can’t help it. I burst out laughing.
“What? Are you insane?” Avery gasps, her eyes wide, and I just laugh. This dude is ridiculous.
“No, they are trying to pull him away from me, and I don’t want that. I love you, Jace. I want to have a relationship with you. I want to see my grandchild.”
I just shake my head. “If you loved me, you wouldn’t want to keep me from my family,” I yell at him and his eyes darken.
“I will do what is needed to maintain my relationship with you. If I have to bribe you, I will.”
“Do you know how pathetic that is?”
“He loves you!” Ellen yells at me, but I hold my hand up.
“Shut the fuck up,” I snap at her, my gaze locking with my father’s.
He holds my gaze. I can’t believe him. He thinks this is okay. But there is no way in hell I would ever agree to this. I will sleep separate from Avery, or hell, I’ll share a room with her and Mekena before I ever entertain this. Trying to regain my composure, I sigh. But before I can tell him to fuck off, my gorgeous wife is talking.
“You are a despicable waste of space if you think he’s doing that,” she sneers, standing up and throwing her napkin on her plate. Looking down at me, she pins me with a look. “There is no way in hell I’m letting you do this. And if you do this, you’ll be living by yourself. There is no chance that I’ll live with you, when doing what he asks would break your mom’s heart.” Leaning down, she takes my face in her hands and begs me with her eyes. “I know what you’re doing. You’re desperate and you don’t have to be. We are fine without this douche canoe’s fucking money. You hear me, Jace Ryan Sinclair?”
Her eyes search mine and I can’t help but smile. Damn it, I love this girl. “I hear you.”
She lets out a sigh of relief. “Oh thank God, I really thought you were gonna do it.”
“Fuck no,” I say with a laugh. “I love you, baby, but my mom and brothers and sister are a part of me.”
“Completely agree,” she says with a nod. “So you tell him to go fuck himself and let’s go.”
“Whoa, now. Let’s discuss this. And don’t you talk to me like that, you little—”
“Watch yourself, Dad,” I warn, turning out of her hands to glare at him. Slowly standing, I take her hand in mine and kiss the back of it before resting it on my chest. “As my gorgeous, amazing wife just said, go fuck yourself and never contact me again.”
He stands up abruptly, his chair falling behind him as he pins me with a heated gaze. “You treat me with some respect, boy. You wouldn’t have half the shit you have now if it weren’t for me.”
“Yeah, I know. And I already regret it. Come on, baby,” I say, pulling Avery with me as we walk out of the room. Her fingers squeeze mine and I know I just passed up the chance of a lifetime.
A smooth ride until I go into the draft.
But I’d rather struggle with the love and respect of my family and Avery than take anything from that man.
“Jace, what the hell were you thinking?”
He chances a glance at me, shaking his head. “Apparently, I wasn’t if I thought that was going to work out.”
“Jace, you don’t need anything from him.”
“Um, my trust fund would have been nice,” he corrects, but I shake my head. “It was just an idea. It’s fine.”
“No. You’re losing your shit, Jace. You aren’t sleeping, you’re constantly worried, and I don’t know why you won’t lean on me a bit. That’s what I’m here for.”
“No, I’m supposed to be your rock, not the other way around.”
Flabbergasted, I throw my hands up. “Um, dumbass, we are supposed to be each other’s rock! You are trying to do it all. Let me help. Do you want me to get a better-paying job? I will.”
“Hell no. You focus on your songwriting. I got this.”
“If you say you got this one more fucking time, I swear, Jace, I will cut you. I’ll cut off your dick. Straight off.”
He scoffs and shakes his head. “Calm down.”
“Calm down?”
“Yes, you’re overreacting. It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine! The last month has been hell, you are a mess, you are worried about me constantly, and in return, you are making me worried.”
He sets me with a look. “No, you don’t worry. That’s my job.”
“Let it be mine too. Together. We are supposed to do this together.”
He doesn’t say anything, only shakes his head once more before pulling into his parking spot at the Bullies’ house. I clear my throat. “I know you think you can handle everything, but that isn’t fair. I don’t know how many times I gotta tell you this is a partnership, but I will till I’m blue in the damn face,” I yell and he leans his head back. “Are you even hearing me right now?” I ask, tears stinging my eyes. “I just want to alleviate some of the stress.”
“I can’t let you,” he roars and I cower toward the door as he sits up, demanding my attention. “Avery, I can’t let you because I don’t know if you can handle it. Do you know what it would do to me if you started cutting again? Or if one day you just decided you wanted to die because it is all too much to handle? I can’t fucking do it.”
My jaw drops and my heart just stops. “Jace…”
“No. It kills me inside. I can’t ever let you get to that place. I will take on everything, fight every single one of the battles alone, as long as you are happy and feel loved. I don’t want you to feel alone, I don’t want to you worry, I don’t want you to think I don’t have this, because I do. Even though some days I’m pretty sure I don’t. But I can’t tell you that because I’m scared… I’m so fucking scared I’ll fail you.” He stops, sucking in a breath, moving his hands through his hair and then down his face as my heart just aches for him. He’s been dealing with so much, but he didn’t reach for me.
“I sit up at night, praying I do right by you, that I don’t get hurt so I can give you and our child the life y’all deserve. Yeah, it’s been sucking, but I won’t fail you, Avery. I just fucking won’t. So yeah, I’m not asking you for help, but it’s not ’cause I can’t use it, I could. But I love you too much to let you. I need you to be healthy and happy. I can do it all. I know I can.”
“What? Are you insane?” Avery gasps, her eyes wide, and I just laugh. This dude is ridiculous.
“No, they are trying to pull him away from me, and I don’t want that. I love you, Jace. I want to have a relationship with you. I want to see my grandchild.”
I just shake my head. “If you loved me, you wouldn’t want to keep me from my family,” I yell at him and his eyes darken.
“I will do what is needed to maintain my relationship with you. If I have to bribe you, I will.”
“Do you know how pathetic that is?”
“He loves you!” Ellen yells at me, but I hold my hand up.
“Shut the fuck up,” I snap at her, my gaze locking with my father’s.
He holds my gaze. I can’t believe him. He thinks this is okay. But there is no way in hell I would ever agree to this. I will sleep separate from Avery, or hell, I’ll share a room with her and Mekena before I ever entertain this. Trying to regain my composure, I sigh. But before I can tell him to fuck off, my gorgeous wife is talking.
“You are a despicable waste of space if you think he’s doing that,” she sneers, standing up and throwing her napkin on her plate. Looking down at me, she pins me with a look. “There is no way in hell I’m letting you do this. And if you do this, you’ll be living by yourself. There is no chance that I’ll live with you, when doing what he asks would break your mom’s heart.” Leaning down, she takes my face in her hands and begs me with her eyes. “I know what you’re doing. You’re desperate and you don’t have to be. We are fine without this douche canoe’s fucking money. You hear me, Jace Ryan Sinclair?”
Her eyes search mine and I can’t help but smile. Damn it, I love this girl. “I hear you.”
She lets out a sigh of relief. “Oh thank God, I really thought you were gonna do it.”
“Fuck no,” I say with a laugh. “I love you, baby, but my mom and brothers and sister are a part of me.”
“Completely agree,” she says with a nod. “So you tell him to go fuck himself and let’s go.”
“Whoa, now. Let’s discuss this. And don’t you talk to me like that, you little—”
“Watch yourself, Dad,” I warn, turning out of her hands to glare at him. Slowly standing, I take her hand in mine and kiss the back of it before resting it on my chest. “As my gorgeous, amazing wife just said, go fuck yourself and never contact me again.”
He stands up abruptly, his chair falling behind him as he pins me with a heated gaze. “You treat me with some respect, boy. You wouldn’t have half the shit you have now if it weren’t for me.”
“Yeah, I know. And I already regret it. Come on, baby,” I say, pulling Avery with me as we walk out of the room. Her fingers squeeze mine and I know I just passed up the chance of a lifetime.
A smooth ride until I go into the draft.
But I’d rather struggle with the love and respect of my family and Avery than take anything from that man.
“Jace, what the hell were you thinking?”
He chances a glance at me, shaking his head. “Apparently, I wasn’t if I thought that was going to work out.”
“Jace, you don’t need anything from him.”
“Um, my trust fund would have been nice,” he corrects, but I shake my head. “It was just an idea. It’s fine.”
“No. You’re losing your shit, Jace. You aren’t sleeping, you’re constantly worried, and I don’t know why you won’t lean on me a bit. That’s what I’m here for.”
“No, I’m supposed to be your rock, not the other way around.”
Flabbergasted, I throw my hands up. “Um, dumbass, we are supposed to be each other’s rock! You are trying to do it all. Let me help. Do you want me to get a better-paying job? I will.”
“Hell no. You focus on your songwriting. I got this.”
“If you say you got this one more fucking time, I swear, Jace, I will cut you. I’ll cut off your dick. Straight off.”
He scoffs and shakes his head. “Calm down.”
“Calm down?”
“Yes, you’re overreacting. It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine! The last month has been hell, you are a mess, you are worried about me constantly, and in return, you are making me worried.”
He sets me with a look. “No, you don’t worry. That’s my job.”
“Let it be mine too. Together. We are supposed to do this together.”
He doesn’t say anything, only shakes his head once more before pulling into his parking spot at the Bullies’ house. I clear my throat. “I know you think you can handle everything, but that isn’t fair. I don’t know how many times I gotta tell you this is a partnership, but I will till I’m blue in the damn face,” I yell and he leans his head back. “Are you even hearing me right now?” I ask, tears stinging my eyes. “I just want to alleviate some of the stress.”
“I can’t let you,” he roars and I cower toward the door as he sits up, demanding my attention. “Avery, I can’t let you because I don’t know if you can handle it. Do you know what it would do to me if you started cutting again? Or if one day you just decided you wanted to die because it is all too much to handle? I can’t fucking do it.”
My jaw drops and my heart just stops. “Jace…”
“No. It kills me inside. I can’t ever let you get to that place. I will take on everything, fight every single one of the battles alone, as long as you are happy and feel loved. I don’t want you to feel alone, I don’t want to you worry, I don’t want you to think I don’t have this, because I do. Even though some days I’m pretty sure I don’t. But I can’t tell you that because I’m scared… I’m so fucking scared I’ll fail you.” He stops, sucking in a breath, moving his hands through his hair and then down his face as my heart just aches for him. He’s been dealing with so much, but he didn’t reach for me.
“I sit up at night, praying I do right by you, that I don’t get hurt so I can give you and our child the life y’all deserve. Yeah, it’s been sucking, but I won’t fail you, Avery. I just fucking won’t. So yeah, I’m not asking you for help, but it’s not ’cause I can’t use it, I could. But I love you too much to let you. I need you to be healthy and happy. I can do it all. I know I can.”
