In the Crease
Page 113
Swallowing past the lump in his throat, Jensen kept his gaze fixed on the lake as its current pushed and pulled against the shore. Watching it, it reminded him of how it was with her at the beginning. She pushed him away, but he was always pulling her in. He wouldn’t let go. Maybe he should have. Maybe this was a complete waste of time because now… Now knowing about this guy, he wasn’t sure he could let it go.
But could he lose her?
“Guys, this thing is about to get started, and your best friend needs you to make this happen.”
Running his hands down his face at the sound of Winston’s voice, Jensen nodded before standing. He wasn’t even the least bit ready, but he wouldn’t let his best friend down. He’d deal, and then he’d figure out what he needed to say to Wren. Since he currently had no clue.
“Yup, onward to the wedding that I’m pretty sure isn’t gonna happen,” Vaughn laughed, smacking Jensen on the back. “But I know for sure you and Wren are good, so you know that too, man, okay?”
Jensen didn’t answer because, for once, he didn’t feel that way. He thought that the dude had been a one-night stand, that he really didn’t matter to her, but they had known Bradley forever. He came from big money. He could easily take her to court and try for custody. That freaked Jensen out, not only for Gunner, but also for Wren. She wouldn’t be able to handle that. She would rather just be with Jensen, with the possible chance of more kids, but he wasn’t sure he would be enough to keep her.
Following behind Vaughn, Jensen saw Winston standing there. But instead of walking with them, he stopped Jensen, his hands landing on Jensen’s shoulders. “Go on, Jo.”
“Yes, sir.”
As Vaughn walked away, Jensen met the gaze of his second father and shook his head. “I’m sorry I lied to you.”
“You didn’t.”
A little taken aback by that, he just held Winston’s gaze. “I think I did.”
“No, you called me, you told me you loved my daughter, that you wanted to marry her, and you loved your child. That’s what I’m pretty sure you said to me. Is that what you plan on doing?”
Swallowing hard, Jensen looked down as he shrugged. “I want to, but—”
“There is no but, Jenny. It’s yes or no.”
Looking back up, Jensen felt his voice shake as he said, “I don’t know.”
Winston nodded. “You know, let me tell you something your dad said to me one time when I called him, mad as hell about my son being gay. After I calmed down, he said, ‘Does it matter who he loves as long as he loves? Because loving someone is our job, is what we’re programmed to do. It makes us happy, it makes us sad, but it’s what we need to do to be complete. So how can you not want him to do what he needs to do to be complete?’” Pausing, Winston laughed. “I remember being so annoyed because he didn’t understand—my son likes boys, ya know? And the more I thought about it, the more I realized I wanted Wells to be what I wanted. But I couldn’t, you know? I lost my best friend because I wanted to change his programming, which isn’t fair. And I know this isn’t really making sense, but my point is, you’re programmed to love Wren. We all know it, you know it, she knows it. Okay?”
Slowing nodding his head, Jensen cleared his throat. “Okay.”
“Okay. Let’s go do this wedding.”
But before Jensen moved, he stopped Winston. “What do I say to her?”
Winston shrugged. “Tell her the truth because that’s what she’ll want. Give her your concerns, and I know you’ll work out because she’s too stubborn to give up, and she loves you too much to.”
Jensen smiled. “You think she loves me?”
“I don’t think it, boy, I know it. My girl doesn’t light up like that around anyone but you, so, yeah. Let go of this bullshit, fix it, and go back to what you had.” When he paused, he laughed. “Or she’ll nag you like her momma nags me until she gets her way. That girl is stubborn like no other. Remember her with those bomb pops in the summer? She loved those things, never let anyone have any from her box. I’m pretty sure she knocked Vaughn’s tooth out once because he took her box and tried to hide it.”
Jensen chuckled, “She did.”
“That boy. He’s always been trouble.”
Jensen grinned as he nodded. Clearing his throat, he asked, “Are you implying I’m the bomb pop?”
Winston thought that over. “I am. She doesn’t let go of things she loves. So get ready, boy.”
A grin pulled at his lips as Winston slapped his shoulder, walking with him up to the venue. When they reached the path that led to the back, they noticed everyone filing in, and Winston let out a long breath. “I’m not ready for this.”
“Yeah, you are, because you love your son.”
Winston nodded. “You’re a good man, Jensen.”
“Thank you, I learned a lot from you,” he added, and Winston scoffed.
“No, son, you’re your dad’s boy. You’re good, you love and forgive. I learned a lot from you two, and I’m thankful for that. But if you want to ever repay me for the years I fed and housed you, love my baby more than I ever can, more than her mom, more than anyone. Okay?”
Jensen nodded, blood rushing to his head as he gazed up at the man who had helped raise him. “Okay.”
“All right, now I gotta go walk my son down the aisle.”
As he watched Winston go through the door, his shoulders back, ready to tackle anything, Jensen wished he felt half of what the older man felt. But his insecurities were eating him alive, and he wasn’t sure how he would be able to look at Wren and fix this.
If it was even fixable.
As he walked into the venue, following behind Winston down the hall, he saw Elaine running around like a chicken with her head cut off, yelling at everyone as Winston let his head fall back. “Lanie, fuck it. Come on, let’s go walk our baby boy down the aisle.”
Elaine stopped, looking up at her husband, and then nodded, her face breaking into a grin. “You’re right.”
She took his hand, and they walked to where everyone was waiting in the lobby to go in. When Wren saw Jensen, she came off the wall. Her makeup was gone, and he could tell she had redone it her way, which he felt bad about. He didn’t like that she’d cried, but then, it was probably not preventable.
But could he lose her?
“Guys, this thing is about to get started, and your best friend needs you to make this happen.”
Running his hands down his face at the sound of Winston’s voice, Jensen nodded before standing. He wasn’t even the least bit ready, but he wouldn’t let his best friend down. He’d deal, and then he’d figure out what he needed to say to Wren. Since he currently had no clue.
“Yup, onward to the wedding that I’m pretty sure isn’t gonna happen,” Vaughn laughed, smacking Jensen on the back. “But I know for sure you and Wren are good, so you know that too, man, okay?”
Jensen didn’t answer because, for once, he didn’t feel that way. He thought that the dude had been a one-night stand, that he really didn’t matter to her, but they had known Bradley forever. He came from big money. He could easily take her to court and try for custody. That freaked Jensen out, not only for Gunner, but also for Wren. She wouldn’t be able to handle that. She would rather just be with Jensen, with the possible chance of more kids, but he wasn’t sure he would be enough to keep her.
Following behind Vaughn, Jensen saw Winston standing there. But instead of walking with them, he stopped Jensen, his hands landing on Jensen’s shoulders. “Go on, Jo.”
“Yes, sir.”
As Vaughn walked away, Jensen met the gaze of his second father and shook his head. “I’m sorry I lied to you.”
“You didn’t.”
A little taken aback by that, he just held Winston’s gaze. “I think I did.”
“No, you called me, you told me you loved my daughter, that you wanted to marry her, and you loved your child. That’s what I’m pretty sure you said to me. Is that what you plan on doing?”
Swallowing hard, Jensen looked down as he shrugged. “I want to, but—”
“There is no but, Jenny. It’s yes or no.”
Looking back up, Jensen felt his voice shake as he said, “I don’t know.”
Winston nodded. “You know, let me tell you something your dad said to me one time when I called him, mad as hell about my son being gay. After I calmed down, he said, ‘Does it matter who he loves as long as he loves? Because loving someone is our job, is what we’re programmed to do. It makes us happy, it makes us sad, but it’s what we need to do to be complete. So how can you not want him to do what he needs to do to be complete?’” Pausing, Winston laughed. “I remember being so annoyed because he didn’t understand—my son likes boys, ya know? And the more I thought about it, the more I realized I wanted Wells to be what I wanted. But I couldn’t, you know? I lost my best friend because I wanted to change his programming, which isn’t fair. And I know this isn’t really making sense, but my point is, you’re programmed to love Wren. We all know it, you know it, she knows it. Okay?”
Slowing nodding his head, Jensen cleared his throat. “Okay.”
“Okay. Let’s go do this wedding.”
But before Jensen moved, he stopped Winston. “What do I say to her?”
Winston shrugged. “Tell her the truth because that’s what she’ll want. Give her your concerns, and I know you’ll work out because she’s too stubborn to give up, and she loves you too much to.”
Jensen smiled. “You think she loves me?”
“I don’t think it, boy, I know it. My girl doesn’t light up like that around anyone but you, so, yeah. Let go of this bullshit, fix it, and go back to what you had.” When he paused, he laughed. “Or she’ll nag you like her momma nags me until she gets her way. That girl is stubborn like no other. Remember her with those bomb pops in the summer? She loved those things, never let anyone have any from her box. I’m pretty sure she knocked Vaughn’s tooth out once because he took her box and tried to hide it.”
Jensen chuckled, “She did.”
“That boy. He’s always been trouble.”
Jensen grinned as he nodded. Clearing his throat, he asked, “Are you implying I’m the bomb pop?”
Winston thought that over. “I am. She doesn’t let go of things she loves. So get ready, boy.”
A grin pulled at his lips as Winston slapped his shoulder, walking with him up to the venue. When they reached the path that led to the back, they noticed everyone filing in, and Winston let out a long breath. “I’m not ready for this.”
“Yeah, you are, because you love your son.”
Winston nodded. “You’re a good man, Jensen.”
“Thank you, I learned a lot from you,” he added, and Winston scoffed.
“No, son, you’re your dad’s boy. You’re good, you love and forgive. I learned a lot from you two, and I’m thankful for that. But if you want to ever repay me for the years I fed and housed you, love my baby more than I ever can, more than her mom, more than anyone. Okay?”
Jensen nodded, blood rushing to his head as he gazed up at the man who had helped raise him. “Okay.”
“All right, now I gotta go walk my son down the aisle.”
As he watched Winston go through the door, his shoulders back, ready to tackle anything, Jensen wished he felt half of what the older man felt. But his insecurities were eating him alive, and he wasn’t sure how he would be able to look at Wren and fix this.
If it was even fixable.
As he walked into the venue, following behind Winston down the hall, he saw Elaine running around like a chicken with her head cut off, yelling at everyone as Winston let his head fall back. “Lanie, fuck it. Come on, let’s go walk our baby boy down the aisle.”
Elaine stopped, looking up at her husband, and then nodded, her face breaking into a grin. “You’re right.”
She took his hand, and they walked to where everyone was waiting in the lobby to go in. When Wren saw Jensen, she came off the wall. Her makeup was gone, and he could tell she had redone it her way, which he felt bad about. He didn’t like that she’d cried, but then, it was probably not preventable.
