In the Crease
Page 20
She was flabbergasted. “I said fake husband, Jenny, not real.”
“I understand that, but you’re asking someone who has been divorced before. I don’t want that again. If I’m going into this, I want it to be real. And if at the end it doesn’t succeed, at least I tried and you tried.”
She could only blink, her mouth hanging open. “But we’re not into each other like that.”
“Says who?” he asked, swallowing hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. “I am extremely attracted to you. I have known you my whole life, and I…um…” He bit his lip and then shook his head. It was almost as though he was holding something back. “I feel this could work. At least, we should try for the baby’s sake.”
Confused, she shook her head. She felt like everything was going a hundred miles a second and she was holding on for dear life. “What? For the baby?”
“Are you sure the father is out of the picture?”
Her voice was sharp. “Completely.”
He nodded. “Then my last term is that you let me be the father.”
Wren’s eyes widened. “I assume you mean not a fake father.”
“Yes, I want to be the boy’s dad. I want him to grow up and think I’m his father. When he turns eighteen, we can tell him the truth if you want, but he would have my last name, and he would be mine.” His voice was strong, his gaze holding hers.
Breathless, she could only stare at him, unsure why he would want this. “Why, Jensen? Why would you want to be the father of a kid who isn’t yours?”
Looking down, he inhaled shakily before nodding his head and meeting her gaze once more. “Because not only is it your kid and a boy needs a father, but I can’t father children of my own.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Monroe, and we are unsure why, but your sperm count is void. You aren’t producing sperm, which is the reason you two are not successful in getting pregnant.”
Jensen’s heart stopped as Ophelia clutched his hands, gasping loudly. Closing his eyes, he looked down as tears flooded the space behind his lids. Failure. Utter and disgusting failure racked his body. They had been trying for a baby for the last six months with no luck. Really trying. Ophelia was good, ready to go, and now they knew he was the issue.
He couldn’t produce.
Shit, was he even a man?
“Can you fix it?” his beautiful wife asked. Jensen felt she knew he couldn’t speak. He couldn’t believe this. All they had ever spoken of since getting married was having lots and lots of kids. He wanted that. He wanted the kids, the dog, and the wife, along with the awesome career. He wanted it all, but now that was an unlikely goal.
Looking over at her, he memorized her face. The dimple in her cheeks, her long blond hair, her pointy nose. Her eyes were a soft shade of hazel and really added to her face, but at that moment, her brow was furrowed, her eyes intent on the doctor.
He understood. She was scared.
So was he.
“We can try some drug treatments, but I think I want to give it another six months. See if this is something that can fix itself. The human body is an amazing thing.”
“But we’ve already waited six months,” she complained, and Jensen squeezed her hand.
“And we can wait another,” he said simply, meeting her gaze as a tear ran down his cheek. He hated looking into her eyes and knowing he was the reason they couldn’t have babies. Did he think he would produce in the next six months? No, but that was because he hadn’t produced yet. They had been actively trying for six months, but they’d been having sex without protection for a year.
Jensen couldn’t have babies.
Heading out of the office with pamphlets on what to eat and natural ways to boost his sperm count, Jensen held his wife’s hand, his heart in his throat. He couldn’t believe this was happening. All they wanted was a family. A big family. They were decent people, he had just gotten signed to the Wild, and he was going places. They could finally afford a baby and then some. They had plans, names, everything. Yet, no baby.
Closing his eyes, he stopped abruptly. When he opened them, he met her worried gaze, and his heart melted. Man, he felt like utter shit. He was failing her.
“Ophelia.”
“Yeah, babe?”
“If you want to get a divorce, go find a man who can give you children, I understand. I know it’s all you want.”
Her face fell as she shook her head. “No, I love you. I don’t want to be with anyone but you.”
He leaned into her, closing his eyes as their foreheads met.
The sad thing was, he had believed her.
Wholeheartedly.
But that was a long, long time ago, and as Jensen watched Wren’s face twist in horror, he prayed she’d want to go along with what he wanted.
“Oh, Jensen. I had no idea.”
“It was a long time ago. I’m completely over it.” And he was, not that it didn’t still sting that his wife had gotten knocked up by someone else and left him. Something like that put a dent in a man’s pride.
“Was that why she left you?”
“Yeah.”
“You should have let me run her over with my car.”
“She was pregnant.”
“So? Whore.”
“I couldn’t give her what she wanted, I don’t blame her. I was hurt and I was pissed, but still.”
“No but still! It doesn’t matter. If she truly loved you, she should have stood beside you!” she said, her voice rising as she ran her fingers through her hair. “Jesus.”
“You’re right.”
“I am. And fuck her. Stupid whore.”
“It’s fine. It’s been over ten years, I’m good.”
“Well, I’m pissed right now.”
“I can see that,” he said, his lips curving as he looked down at his hands. Swallowing hard, he glanced back up at her, his heart in his throat. “Wren, I’m asking you to do what she didn’t.”
She looked up, her brows to her hairline. “What?”
“To stand by me. And I’ll stand by you.”
Her lips parted. “But, Jensen—”
He held up his hands, stopping her. “I don’t want to end this and have you take the blame. I want it to work. If it doesn’t, then at least we can say we tried. But I refuse to be a deadbeat dad. I want to be there for him and you. Always. And I think what I’m asking for is fair.”
“I understand that, but you’re asking someone who has been divorced before. I don’t want that again. If I’m going into this, I want it to be real. And if at the end it doesn’t succeed, at least I tried and you tried.”
She could only blink, her mouth hanging open. “But we’re not into each other like that.”
“Says who?” he asked, swallowing hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. “I am extremely attracted to you. I have known you my whole life, and I…um…” He bit his lip and then shook his head. It was almost as though he was holding something back. “I feel this could work. At least, we should try for the baby’s sake.”
Confused, she shook her head. She felt like everything was going a hundred miles a second and she was holding on for dear life. “What? For the baby?”
“Are you sure the father is out of the picture?”
Her voice was sharp. “Completely.”
He nodded. “Then my last term is that you let me be the father.”
Wren’s eyes widened. “I assume you mean not a fake father.”
“Yes, I want to be the boy’s dad. I want him to grow up and think I’m his father. When he turns eighteen, we can tell him the truth if you want, but he would have my last name, and he would be mine.” His voice was strong, his gaze holding hers.
Breathless, she could only stare at him, unsure why he would want this. “Why, Jensen? Why would you want to be the father of a kid who isn’t yours?”
Looking down, he inhaled shakily before nodding his head and meeting her gaze once more. “Because not only is it your kid and a boy needs a father, but I can’t father children of my own.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Monroe, and we are unsure why, but your sperm count is void. You aren’t producing sperm, which is the reason you two are not successful in getting pregnant.”
Jensen’s heart stopped as Ophelia clutched his hands, gasping loudly. Closing his eyes, he looked down as tears flooded the space behind his lids. Failure. Utter and disgusting failure racked his body. They had been trying for a baby for the last six months with no luck. Really trying. Ophelia was good, ready to go, and now they knew he was the issue.
He couldn’t produce.
Shit, was he even a man?
“Can you fix it?” his beautiful wife asked. Jensen felt she knew he couldn’t speak. He couldn’t believe this. All they had ever spoken of since getting married was having lots and lots of kids. He wanted that. He wanted the kids, the dog, and the wife, along with the awesome career. He wanted it all, but now that was an unlikely goal.
Looking over at her, he memorized her face. The dimple in her cheeks, her long blond hair, her pointy nose. Her eyes were a soft shade of hazel and really added to her face, but at that moment, her brow was furrowed, her eyes intent on the doctor.
He understood. She was scared.
So was he.
“We can try some drug treatments, but I think I want to give it another six months. See if this is something that can fix itself. The human body is an amazing thing.”
“But we’ve already waited six months,” she complained, and Jensen squeezed her hand.
“And we can wait another,” he said simply, meeting her gaze as a tear ran down his cheek. He hated looking into her eyes and knowing he was the reason they couldn’t have babies. Did he think he would produce in the next six months? No, but that was because he hadn’t produced yet. They had been actively trying for six months, but they’d been having sex without protection for a year.
Jensen couldn’t have babies.
Heading out of the office with pamphlets on what to eat and natural ways to boost his sperm count, Jensen held his wife’s hand, his heart in his throat. He couldn’t believe this was happening. All they wanted was a family. A big family. They were decent people, he had just gotten signed to the Wild, and he was going places. They could finally afford a baby and then some. They had plans, names, everything. Yet, no baby.
Closing his eyes, he stopped abruptly. When he opened them, he met her worried gaze, and his heart melted. Man, he felt like utter shit. He was failing her.
“Ophelia.”
“Yeah, babe?”
“If you want to get a divorce, go find a man who can give you children, I understand. I know it’s all you want.”
Her face fell as she shook her head. “No, I love you. I don’t want to be with anyone but you.”
He leaned into her, closing his eyes as their foreheads met.
The sad thing was, he had believed her.
Wholeheartedly.
But that was a long, long time ago, and as Jensen watched Wren’s face twist in horror, he prayed she’d want to go along with what he wanted.
“Oh, Jensen. I had no idea.”
“It was a long time ago. I’m completely over it.” And he was, not that it didn’t still sting that his wife had gotten knocked up by someone else and left him. Something like that put a dent in a man’s pride.
“Was that why she left you?”
“Yeah.”
“You should have let me run her over with my car.”
“She was pregnant.”
“So? Whore.”
“I couldn’t give her what she wanted, I don’t blame her. I was hurt and I was pissed, but still.”
“No but still! It doesn’t matter. If she truly loved you, she should have stood beside you!” she said, her voice rising as she ran her fingers through her hair. “Jesus.”
“You’re right.”
“I am. And fuck her. Stupid whore.”
“It’s fine. It’s been over ten years, I’m good.”
“Well, I’m pissed right now.”
“I can see that,” he said, his lips curving as he looked down at his hands. Swallowing hard, he glanced back up at her, his heart in his throat. “Wren, I’m asking you to do what she didn’t.”
She looked up, her brows to her hairline. “What?”
“To stand by me. And I’ll stand by you.”
Her lips parted. “But, Jensen—”
He held up his hands, stopping her. “I don’t want to end this and have you take the blame. I want it to work. If it doesn’t, then at least we can say we tried. But I refuse to be a deadbeat dad. I want to be there for him and you. Always. And I think what I’m asking for is fair.”
