In the Crease
Page 58
“No. They’re my bills.”
“I don’t care. You’re my wife.”
“Jensen.”
“Wren.”
“No.”
He moved his lips along her temple. “I do what I want.”
She smiled against his neck. “I said no. If everything works out, I’ll have my money, and I can pay them off.”
“There is no if, Wren. Everything will be fine.”
But she shook her head. “I’m worried about everyone not believing us when we go home.”
“That won’t happen.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do. I’ll make sure of that.”
She closed her eyes, hoping he was right as she wrapped her arms around him, needing his strength. As they swayed through three more songs, all slow and sweet, Wren couldn’t stop thinking about everything. Tate, Wells, Shanna, going home, but most of all, Jensen. She couldn’t shake her reservations. Her anxiety over all of it ending in a fiery explosion. She didn’t realize it, but she needed this. She needed constant support. She’d never had that, and now that she did, she didn’t want to lose it. But she couldn’t use Jensen for that. He deserved better than that, but could she truly let herself love him? It would be so easy if she allowed herself to. But what if he didn’t love her? What if she was a means to an end?
The baggage for the baby he so desperately wanted.
She opened her eyes as she inhaled harshly. She had to know. Moving her head, she pulled back to look at him as he moved his head. “Jensen.”
“Yeah?” he asked, meeting her gaze, and God, he looked so beautiful. So content, so relaxed, while she felt like she was coming out of her skin. But looking into his eyes, she felt herself calming a bit.
Swallowing hard, she almost didn’t ask, but then she knew she had to. “I need to ask you something.”
His eyes searched hers as his thumbs moved along her back, sending chills up her spine. “What’s that?”
Her heart was pounding in her ears and making her head hurt, but if she didn’t ask, if she didn’t find out the truth, she was going to make herself crazy. “Why won’t you sleep with me?”
Jensen’s mouth went dry.
His heart rate picked up. It was beating so hard, he was sure she felt it as she held his gaze, slowly moving out of his arms and leaning into the island. “I mean, we’ve been doing this for two weeks, and we’re stalling at first base.”
Crossing his arms over his chest, he backed into the counter as she slowly nodded. “I-I want—” He stopped, shaking his head, trying to get his words together. He sensed this wasn’t going to go smoothly. “I want to wait.”
“Wait? For what?”
“I want it to be right.”
Her brows pulled together. “Right?”
“Yeah,” he said, his gaze held hostage in hers. “I want it to be for real, as fucking girly as that sounds. I want it to mean something. I don’t want it to be because we’re both hot for each other and we get carried away. You mean more to me than that, and I refuse to just fuck for nothing.”
“It wouldn’t be for nothing,” she said slowly, bringing her lip between her teeth.
His head fell to the side. “So you love me?”
She scrunched up her face, and his heart dropped to his gut. “People fuck without loving each other all the time.”
“Exactly. They fuck, and I don’t want to fuck you, Wren. That isn’t how I work.”
Her eyes darkened. “That’s dumb. If we want each other, what’s the problem? Do you not want me?”
He swallowed hard, trying to keep his composure. “I want you more than I can even express, but you’ve been fucked by nothing but assholes. When I finally make love to you, I want you to know that it’s for real and that it’s forever.” When she rolled her eyes before she closed them, shaking her head, his blood started to boil. “When I told you I wanted to show you what it’s like to be treated well by a real man, I wasn’t kidding.” Opening her eyes, she met his heated gaze. “Even if it will require every ounce of restraint I have in my body to keep from taking that sweet ass in my hands and ruining you in a way that no man has ever been able to do.”
She gasped slightly as she held his gaze, her eyes dark and annoyed. “I’m sorry, but you’re a man. If you wanted me, then you would take me. Men don’t have restraint when it comes to fucking. They think with their cocks.”
Now he was pissed. “Do you not know me?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But by saying that, you don’t. Because I’m not like other men, and my cock doesn’t run my life. I do. I decide what I want, and while I want you, I know I need to give you time to realize that I can want you without being inside you, before I let that happen.”
“That’s insane. Take me if you want me, because I don’t believe that shit, and I want you. Bad.”
Pushing off the counter, he dug his fingers into his palms as he stared down at her. “Wren, I’m not like those other fuckers. I respect you. I care for you. I want you without having to fuck you. I want you for who you are, not how fucking hot I assume your pussy is.”
She was breathless as she looked up at him, heat in her eyes. “Or, you just can’t do it because you’re only doing this as a means to an end.”
His eyes narrowed. “Excuse me? What does that mean?”
Emotion flashed in her eyes as she stood in front of him. “It means that I’m your ticket to the kid you want, and you’re just staying with me until he comes and I get what I want, my money, before you’re out the fucking door.”
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” he roared. “That is the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard you say. And you know what? That hurts. I can’t believe you would think that.”
But she was unaffected. “Have you made me think otherwise?”
His mouth dropped open. “Wren, I tell you daily I think you’re beautiful. I yearn for you. My cock stays hard around you, but you’re trying to revert back to what you know. You know sex, you know how to do that because you don’t have to feel anything but good when a cock is deep inside of you. But what I want is you to realize my words are my promise, and everything I say is true. It’s hard for you, I get it, but I’m not going anywhere.”
“I don’t care. You’re my wife.”
“Jensen.”
“Wren.”
“No.”
He moved his lips along her temple. “I do what I want.”
She smiled against his neck. “I said no. If everything works out, I’ll have my money, and I can pay them off.”
“There is no if, Wren. Everything will be fine.”
But she shook her head. “I’m worried about everyone not believing us when we go home.”
“That won’t happen.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do. I’ll make sure of that.”
She closed her eyes, hoping he was right as she wrapped her arms around him, needing his strength. As they swayed through three more songs, all slow and sweet, Wren couldn’t stop thinking about everything. Tate, Wells, Shanna, going home, but most of all, Jensen. She couldn’t shake her reservations. Her anxiety over all of it ending in a fiery explosion. She didn’t realize it, but she needed this. She needed constant support. She’d never had that, and now that she did, she didn’t want to lose it. But she couldn’t use Jensen for that. He deserved better than that, but could she truly let herself love him? It would be so easy if she allowed herself to. But what if he didn’t love her? What if she was a means to an end?
The baggage for the baby he so desperately wanted.
She opened her eyes as she inhaled harshly. She had to know. Moving her head, she pulled back to look at him as he moved his head. “Jensen.”
“Yeah?” he asked, meeting her gaze, and God, he looked so beautiful. So content, so relaxed, while she felt like she was coming out of her skin. But looking into his eyes, she felt herself calming a bit.
Swallowing hard, she almost didn’t ask, but then she knew she had to. “I need to ask you something.”
His eyes searched hers as his thumbs moved along her back, sending chills up her spine. “What’s that?”
Her heart was pounding in her ears and making her head hurt, but if she didn’t ask, if she didn’t find out the truth, she was going to make herself crazy. “Why won’t you sleep with me?”
Jensen’s mouth went dry.
His heart rate picked up. It was beating so hard, he was sure she felt it as she held his gaze, slowly moving out of his arms and leaning into the island. “I mean, we’ve been doing this for two weeks, and we’re stalling at first base.”
Crossing his arms over his chest, he backed into the counter as she slowly nodded. “I-I want—” He stopped, shaking his head, trying to get his words together. He sensed this wasn’t going to go smoothly. “I want to wait.”
“Wait? For what?”
“I want it to be right.”
Her brows pulled together. “Right?”
“Yeah,” he said, his gaze held hostage in hers. “I want it to be for real, as fucking girly as that sounds. I want it to mean something. I don’t want it to be because we’re both hot for each other and we get carried away. You mean more to me than that, and I refuse to just fuck for nothing.”
“It wouldn’t be for nothing,” she said slowly, bringing her lip between her teeth.
His head fell to the side. “So you love me?”
She scrunched up her face, and his heart dropped to his gut. “People fuck without loving each other all the time.”
“Exactly. They fuck, and I don’t want to fuck you, Wren. That isn’t how I work.”
Her eyes darkened. “That’s dumb. If we want each other, what’s the problem? Do you not want me?”
He swallowed hard, trying to keep his composure. “I want you more than I can even express, but you’ve been fucked by nothing but assholes. When I finally make love to you, I want you to know that it’s for real and that it’s forever.” When she rolled her eyes before she closed them, shaking her head, his blood started to boil. “When I told you I wanted to show you what it’s like to be treated well by a real man, I wasn’t kidding.” Opening her eyes, she met his heated gaze. “Even if it will require every ounce of restraint I have in my body to keep from taking that sweet ass in my hands and ruining you in a way that no man has ever been able to do.”
She gasped slightly as she held his gaze, her eyes dark and annoyed. “I’m sorry, but you’re a man. If you wanted me, then you would take me. Men don’t have restraint when it comes to fucking. They think with their cocks.”
Now he was pissed. “Do you not know me?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But by saying that, you don’t. Because I’m not like other men, and my cock doesn’t run my life. I do. I decide what I want, and while I want you, I know I need to give you time to realize that I can want you without being inside you, before I let that happen.”
“That’s insane. Take me if you want me, because I don’t believe that shit, and I want you. Bad.”
Pushing off the counter, he dug his fingers into his palms as he stared down at her. “Wren, I’m not like those other fuckers. I respect you. I care for you. I want you without having to fuck you. I want you for who you are, not how fucking hot I assume your pussy is.”
She was breathless as she looked up at him, heat in her eyes. “Or, you just can’t do it because you’re only doing this as a means to an end.”
His eyes narrowed. “Excuse me? What does that mean?”
Emotion flashed in her eyes as she stood in front of him. “It means that I’m your ticket to the kid you want, and you’re just staying with me until he comes and I get what I want, my money, before you’re out the fucking door.”
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” he roared. “That is the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard you say. And you know what? That hurts. I can’t believe you would think that.”
But she was unaffected. “Have you made me think otherwise?”
His mouth dropped open. “Wren, I tell you daily I think you’re beautiful. I yearn for you. My cock stays hard around you, but you’re trying to revert back to what you know. You know sex, you know how to do that because you don’t have to feel anything but good when a cock is deep inside of you. But what I want is you to realize my words are my promise, and everything I say is true. It’s hard for you, I get it, but I’m not going anywhere.”
