Incandescent
Page 16
That night Zane had received a call that he took outside; we were going out for the night with some of his work friends to celebrate his promotion. I put the night down to being a bust after that phone call. He came back inside with a mood and snapped at everything I did, what I was wearing, how I had my makeup, even the way I smelt. We had been together for three years, only recently engaged, and he stood there and tore me to shreds. I tried to ignore the words he spewed at me, but the ugliness of them was too much. Each insult broke me down with every blow he dealt. I was pathetic. He could do so much better. He wasted three years of his life.
I tried everything not to believe them. I was lost and thought the man I was going to marry was having a hard time dealing with the stress of work, the uncertainty of where we were going, and I wasn’t making it easier for him. It was only natural that he would take it out on me. I wanted to be there for him. I wanted to be his partner and stand by his side through it all, so I brushed off his abuse hoping once we made our decision regarding his job, everything would go back to normal.
The whole night he continued being in a foul mood, his work buddies not once looking uncomfortable with his constant digs at me. By the end of the night, I was beaten down. I realized, in between listening to the venom he spat out at me and the looks he was giving other women, that Zane was no longer the man I agreed to marry. I didn’t know what was happening to him. I was concerned for him, for me and for us. I made it in the front door back home before unleashing my anger on him. We argued for over an hour, me accusing him of anything and everything. He was accusing me of being paranoid, not supporting him. I went to bed exhausted and drained, with no idea what I was going to do. When I woke up in the middle of the night to our house burning around me, I had no clue that it was because of Zane. I only later found out Zane wasn’t coming back.
Determined not to fall down the hole of why, I straighten my shoulders ready to meet him.
“Kadence,” he greets me, reaching for my hand. I pull back, not wanting his fingers touching mine.
“Cut the bullshit, Zane,” I snap back at him. “What the hell do you want?” He looks taken back for a moment. His blue eyes look shocked, not used to my attitude. He wouldn't. He missed the phase of me dealing with my anger after I almost died.
“I need your help—” he begins before I instantly cut him off.
“Do you think I’m dense? Do you honestly think I’d believe you’ve come back to town for my help?” I laugh, knowing I won’t fall for his shit.
“Is this how you greet your fiancé after three years, Kadence?” His question angers me, but not as much as his disregarded that it has been just that. Three years.
“After everything you have done to me? What you put me through? Yes, I would say that’s just about right,” I manage to fire back without clawing his eyes out. What is wrong with this man? What is wrong with me for even thinking I was in love with him?
“Kadence, cut the dramatics. Yes, I did a shitty thing, but you’re okay. You're fine. I’ve seen you the last few weeks. If anything, you’ve bounced back well.”
“I’ve bounced back? My life isn’t a fucking ball game, Zane. You destroyed it; took it all away from me. I can’t believe I even agreed to come here.” I begin to feel more stupid with each second that passes.
"You don't mean that, baby." He steps forward, giving me the look that used to get me.
“Baby? Jesus, you are fucking dumb. I’m done. Leave me alone. I’m not getting involved with whatever bullshit you have gotten yourself into.” I turn to go, ready to be out of his presence. I know he threatened me with Holly’s house, but standing in front of him, that terror that he once placed in me is now replaced with pity. The man is pathetic. I don’t know that he won’t follow through, but standing here, listening to him telling me I’m being dramatic proves it wouldn’t matter what I did. He is going to do what he wants.
“Kadence,” he calls out, as I walk away. “I need my money from the house,” he tries again, and this time I bite.
“You what?” I ask, wanting to double check what I just heard, hoping I heard different, ‘cause there is no way in hell he just asked me for money, considering the asshole cleaned me out.
“The money I put into the house. It’s mine, and I want it back.”
I laugh in his face. The guy has a screw loose that’s for sure.
“Zane, the house sold last year. It has been three years of no contact from you, and now you want money? Do you even care that you left me alone in that house to die? Do you understand the surgeries I went through and the pain? You missed it all.” The memories of feeling lost and alone slowly seep their way out. I’ve kept them so deeply locked away, having them surface again feels foreign to me. “You never returned any of my calls. Do you even care that I could have died, that I nearly did?” I shake my head, knowing it’s all lost on him. He doesn’t care, doesn’t give a shit.
“You stole from me. Cleaned me out. You no longer have the rights to anything that came from that house. You had a chance to come home. You didn’t. What did you expect? That I was going to wait for you? You left me to burn, all over an unpaid debt to a motorcycle gang,” I scream, finally losing it. Fuck him and his indifference. A rage boils within, my hands itching to lash out at him. Every moment I lived through because of him comes to the surface as I let everything out.
“Step back, Kadence,” someone demands from behind me. His voice that controlled anger I remember back at the school with his ex.
Nix. Shit.
“No way, Nix,” I argue, ignoring his demand, ready to take both of these men on.
“I’m not kidding, Kadence. You need to move behind me right now.” The tone of his voice plunges into a low and fierce level, but it’s the way he barks my name that puts me on alert. We've come to blows a few times now, but this? This is a whole new level of anger. I look at him, slightly afraid and not sure if I’m scared for my safety or if I’m scared that I have made him mad. I like to push him to frustration, but to anger boiling over, I’m not too sure. I move to the side and slide in behind him. I notice Jesse come up behind me with Brooks closing me into the side.
“What’s this, Kadence?” Zane yells out. For a second there, I forgot the asshole was here.
“You speak to me and only me.” Nix walks forward, getting into Zane’s space. Two guys wearing black walk out from behind some trees, closing in next to Zane. What the hell is going on?
“You wanna tell me why the hell you're talkin’ to my woman, Edwards?” Nix spits out, calling Zane by his last name. What the hell. How does Nix know Zane?
“Your woman? Guess you’d be the type to go for another man’s woman,” Zane fires back smiling.
“The fuck you just say?” Nix walks further up to him. Zane holds his ground, but I can see by the look in his eyes he’s holding back some fear. He must grow some confidence or have a death wish because he responds.
“What I should have said is that your ‘woman’ is my fiancée and that sexy mouth of hers has been around my cock plenty of times,” he smirks.
I don’t know what universe I’ve stepped into, but I’m standing frozen, listening to my ex-fiancé describe to my current lover, who is now looking every bit the scary biker dude, that I’ve had my mouth around his cock. Oh, shit.
“Kadence, get in the car,” Nix addresses me. His stare is still firmly on Zane.
“Nix—” I begin.
“Kadence, get in the goddamn car, now!” he bellows out, and I shrink back at his harsh tone. “Jesse, take her,” he demands, still not looking at me. Jesse grabs my hand and pulls me to follow him. Looking up at Zane, I see the bastard has a smile on his face, clearly enjoying the show.
“Bye, Kadence, it’s been great catching up. Shame you’ve turned into a biker whore—” He doesn't finish his sentence because Nix throws a punch, hitting him square in the jaw.
“Shut your fuckin’ mouth,” I hear Nix say as Jesse drags me further back to the car.
“Jesus, woman, what the fuck is that all about?” Jesse asks when he opens the car door for me, my hands too shaky to get the keys out of my handbag.
“I have no idea, Jesse. Zane is my ex; the one I told you about. He sent me a text and told me he needed to talk, threatened me if I didn’t come.”
“Sweetheart, you need to get it together and drive back to the compound now.” I shake my head, not liking that idea, with Nix and his anger.
“I’m not sure Nix will want that, Jesse,” I voice my concern.
“Kadence, I’m telling you now, it will be a whole lot worse if you don’t get your ass back to the club. Trust me.” I nod my head, not prepared to discuss with him.
“How does Nix know Zane?” I ask, afraid of the answer. My whole world feels like it has just been turned on its axis, and I feel like I’m missing something.
“You might know him as Zane sweetheart, but around here, he’s known as Edwards, and that bastard holds the second highest position in the drug cartel organization. In other words, your ex is a very dangerous man. Now go. We’ll explain it all when we get back.” I slowly nod and get into the driver's seat, hoping my shaking hands calm enough for me to drive.
“Straight back to the clubhouse,” Jesse repeats, leaning into the car.
He closes the door and watches me take in what he just told me. Zane Edwards, the man I was engaged to, wasn't a part of any organization; he was an architect. We lived in a four-bedroom home, and we were in the middle of planning our wedding. No way was he into drugs. I would have seen it. Wouldn’t I?
Starting the car, I force myself to relax and keep myself together. The need to get away, away from Zane and away from Nix is too much to ignore. I know Jesse told me to go back to the compound, but facing Nix, knowing that he knows I was with that man, makes me turn home instead.
I need Holly.
I need her to tell me what to do. I’ve got bigger issues than I first thought. If Zane is this big drug thug who runs with bad people, why does he want money from me? He can’t be that hard up for money, could he? Or is he playing me for bigger things?
Driving past our old house, I have to wonder how it all came to this. We were in love. The man I saw today was not the man whom I was prepared to give my life to. That man is long gone. If only I had seen that sooner, maybe I wouldn’t have had to go through everything I had. The fire, the nightmares, it all comes back, and now I’m hanging by a thread and barely keeping it together.
I force myself to push the pain that I’ve long forgotten down, and not allow the darkness to creep in. When I’m back in the safety of my home, the safety that Holly gives me, only then will I allow myself to break.
Chapter Eighteen
Nix
Pocketing my phone, I let out a frustrated sigh. Kadence was engaged to that fucking asshole? It’s too fucked up to process. Talk about twisted. This guy is dangerous, and as second to Gunner Jamieson, I have no doubt this little meeting was set up.
“What’s happening, boss?” Brooks asks, and I turn looking at him and Sy. I sent Jesse to follow Kadence ‘cause I knew she wouldn’t go back like she was told. Stubborn-ass woman.
“The damn woman didn’t go back to the clubhouse.”
“Figured,” he smiles, shaking his head. “Get used to it, brother. Been with Kelly for ten years, and the wife still doesn’t listen to me.”
I shake my head, not thinking of the next ten years. I don’t know if I’ll last a month without that woman doing my head in. That’s a lie; the thought thrills me. What pisses me off is knowing that the asshole has had her. Had what’s mine.
“You stupid fuckers are mad, thinking you can’t control a woman,” Sy informs us. He doesn’t normally give us his opinion, but lately I’ve noticed a slight change in him. I’ve grown to like the silent Sy. This new one is a little strange to get used to.
I shake my head knowing he’s right, but even if I never control Kadence, even if I have to give her my balls on a silver platter, I know it would be better than anything I’ve ever had. When I ended things with Addison, I never thought I would find myself wanting a relationship again. Kadence is different. Her fucking mouth is always fighting me, pushing me, and pulling me. I can’t get enough.
I nearly killed that asshole for speaking that way about Kadence. He had it coming, but calling her a whore, fuck. I turned red with fury. No one calls my woman a whore. After Jesse pulled her away, the asshole Edwards took the blow I delivered. He stood there with a smile on his face as he wiped the blood trail from the corner of his mouth; the guy is whacked. After telling him to not contact her again, I made it very clear where we stand on territory. Letting him know about our meeting with the Mayhems earlier, he didn’t seem so smug. The fucker is trying to play us and knowing that alone gives us a one up. Something about the club has him running scared. I only hope he doesn’t grow some balls and come running back. We gave him a message to send along to his boss, Gunner: under no circumstances will we ever allow their business to hit our streets. I don’t give a fuck what I have to do, even if we have to go above the law. This bullshit territory war they’ve got going on with the Mayhems needs to end.
“Want us to follow you?” Brooks asks, knowing I’m in for some fun.
“Fuck no. I’m not ready for my boys to see me get my balls handed to me,” I tell them, watching them laugh. Fuckers have no idea. “Head back. I’ll stay with her tonight, or head back to mine. Either way, she’s with me.” Brooks and Sy nod before taking off on their Harleys. I don’t know what fucking game Gunner is playing, but using me as a pawn in his war with the Mayhems is one thing. Using my woman is a whole other story. Pulling out onto the street, I make my way to Kadence's house. I need answers to why she ever thought meeting with Edwards was a bright idea. Surely, she knows how dangerous and crazy the fucker is?
I tried everything not to believe them. I was lost and thought the man I was going to marry was having a hard time dealing with the stress of work, the uncertainty of where we were going, and I wasn’t making it easier for him. It was only natural that he would take it out on me. I wanted to be there for him. I wanted to be his partner and stand by his side through it all, so I brushed off his abuse hoping once we made our decision regarding his job, everything would go back to normal.
The whole night he continued being in a foul mood, his work buddies not once looking uncomfortable with his constant digs at me. By the end of the night, I was beaten down. I realized, in between listening to the venom he spat out at me and the looks he was giving other women, that Zane was no longer the man I agreed to marry. I didn’t know what was happening to him. I was concerned for him, for me and for us. I made it in the front door back home before unleashing my anger on him. We argued for over an hour, me accusing him of anything and everything. He was accusing me of being paranoid, not supporting him. I went to bed exhausted and drained, with no idea what I was going to do. When I woke up in the middle of the night to our house burning around me, I had no clue that it was because of Zane. I only later found out Zane wasn’t coming back.
Determined not to fall down the hole of why, I straighten my shoulders ready to meet him.
“Kadence,” he greets me, reaching for my hand. I pull back, not wanting his fingers touching mine.
“Cut the bullshit, Zane,” I snap back at him. “What the hell do you want?” He looks taken back for a moment. His blue eyes look shocked, not used to my attitude. He wouldn't. He missed the phase of me dealing with my anger after I almost died.
“I need your help—” he begins before I instantly cut him off.
“Do you think I’m dense? Do you honestly think I’d believe you’ve come back to town for my help?” I laugh, knowing I won’t fall for his shit.
“Is this how you greet your fiancé after three years, Kadence?” His question angers me, but not as much as his disregarded that it has been just that. Three years.
“After everything you have done to me? What you put me through? Yes, I would say that’s just about right,” I manage to fire back without clawing his eyes out. What is wrong with this man? What is wrong with me for even thinking I was in love with him?
“Kadence, cut the dramatics. Yes, I did a shitty thing, but you’re okay. You're fine. I’ve seen you the last few weeks. If anything, you’ve bounced back well.”
“I’ve bounced back? My life isn’t a fucking ball game, Zane. You destroyed it; took it all away from me. I can’t believe I even agreed to come here.” I begin to feel more stupid with each second that passes.
"You don't mean that, baby." He steps forward, giving me the look that used to get me.
“Baby? Jesus, you are fucking dumb. I’m done. Leave me alone. I’m not getting involved with whatever bullshit you have gotten yourself into.” I turn to go, ready to be out of his presence. I know he threatened me with Holly’s house, but standing in front of him, that terror that he once placed in me is now replaced with pity. The man is pathetic. I don’t know that he won’t follow through, but standing here, listening to him telling me I’m being dramatic proves it wouldn’t matter what I did. He is going to do what he wants.
“Kadence,” he calls out, as I walk away. “I need my money from the house,” he tries again, and this time I bite.
“You what?” I ask, wanting to double check what I just heard, hoping I heard different, ‘cause there is no way in hell he just asked me for money, considering the asshole cleaned me out.
“The money I put into the house. It’s mine, and I want it back.”
I laugh in his face. The guy has a screw loose that’s for sure.
“Zane, the house sold last year. It has been three years of no contact from you, and now you want money? Do you even care that you left me alone in that house to die? Do you understand the surgeries I went through and the pain? You missed it all.” The memories of feeling lost and alone slowly seep their way out. I’ve kept them so deeply locked away, having them surface again feels foreign to me. “You never returned any of my calls. Do you even care that I could have died, that I nearly did?” I shake my head, knowing it’s all lost on him. He doesn’t care, doesn’t give a shit.
“You stole from me. Cleaned me out. You no longer have the rights to anything that came from that house. You had a chance to come home. You didn’t. What did you expect? That I was going to wait for you? You left me to burn, all over an unpaid debt to a motorcycle gang,” I scream, finally losing it. Fuck him and his indifference. A rage boils within, my hands itching to lash out at him. Every moment I lived through because of him comes to the surface as I let everything out.
“Step back, Kadence,” someone demands from behind me. His voice that controlled anger I remember back at the school with his ex.
Nix. Shit.
“No way, Nix,” I argue, ignoring his demand, ready to take both of these men on.
“I’m not kidding, Kadence. You need to move behind me right now.” The tone of his voice plunges into a low and fierce level, but it’s the way he barks my name that puts me on alert. We've come to blows a few times now, but this? This is a whole new level of anger. I look at him, slightly afraid and not sure if I’m scared for my safety or if I’m scared that I have made him mad. I like to push him to frustration, but to anger boiling over, I’m not too sure. I move to the side and slide in behind him. I notice Jesse come up behind me with Brooks closing me into the side.
“What’s this, Kadence?” Zane yells out. For a second there, I forgot the asshole was here.
“You speak to me and only me.” Nix walks forward, getting into Zane’s space. Two guys wearing black walk out from behind some trees, closing in next to Zane. What the hell is going on?
“You wanna tell me why the hell you're talkin’ to my woman, Edwards?” Nix spits out, calling Zane by his last name. What the hell. How does Nix know Zane?
“Your woman? Guess you’d be the type to go for another man’s woman,” Zane fires back smiling.
“The fuck you just say?” Nix walks further up to him. Zane holds his ground, but I can see by the look in his eyes he’s holding back some fear. He must grow some confidence or have a death wish because he responds.
“What I should have said is that your ‘woman’ is my fiancée and that sexy mouth of hers has been around my cock plenty of times,” he smirks.
I don’t know what universe I’ve stepped into, but I’m standing frozen, listening to my ex-fiancé describe to my current lover, who is now looking every bit the scary biker dude, that I’ve had my mouth around his cock. Oh, shit.
“Kadence, get in the car,” Nix addresses me. His stare is still firmly on Zane.
“Nix—” I begin.
“Kadence, get in the goddamn car, now!” he bellows out, and I shrink back at his harsh tone. “Jesse, take her,” he demands, still not looking at me. Jesse grabs my hand and pulls me to follow him. Looking up at Zane, I see the bastard has a smile on his face, clearly enjoying the show.
“Bye, Kadence, it’s been great catching up. Shame you’ve turned into a biker whore—” He doesn't finish his sentence because Nix throws a punch, hitting him square in the jaw.
“Shut your fuckin’ mouth,” I hear Nix say as Jesse drags me further back to the car.
“Jesus, woman, what the fuck is that all about?” Jesse asks when he opens the car door for me, my hands too shaky to get the keys out of my handbag.
“I have no idea, Jesse. Zane is my ex; the one I told you about. He sent me a text and told me he needed to talk, threatened me if I didn’t come.”
“Sweetheart, you need to get it together and drive back to the compound now.” I shake my head, not liking that idea, with Nix and his anger.
“I’m not sure Nix will want that, Jesse,” I voice my concern.
“Kadence, I’m telling you now, it will be a whole lot worse if you don’t get your ass back to the club. Trust me.” I nod my head, not prepared to discuss with him.
“How does Nix know Zane?” I ask, afraid of the answer. My whole world feels like it has just been turned on its axis, and I feel like I’m missing something.
“You might know him as Zane sweetheart, but around here, he’s known as Edwards, and that bastard holds the second highest position in the drug cartel organization. In other words, your ex is a very dangerous man. Now go. We’ll explain it all when we get back.” I slowly nod and get into the driver's seat, hoping my shaking hands calm enough for me to drive.
“Straight back to the clubhouse,” Jesse repeats, leaning into the car.
He closes the door and watches me take in what he just told me. Zane Edwards, the man I was engaged to, wasn't a part of any organization; he was an architect. We lived in a four-bedroom home, and we were in the middle of planning our wedding. No way was he into drugs. I would have seen it. Wouldn’t I?
Starting the car, I force myself to relax and keep myself together. The need to get away, away from Zane and away from Nix is too much to ignore. I know Jesse told me to go back to the compound, but facing Nix, knowing that he knows I was with that man, makes me turn home instead.
I need Holly.
I need her to tell me what to do. I’ve got bigger issues than I first thought. If Zane is this big drug thug who runs with bad people, why does he want money from me? He can’t be that hard up for money, could he? Or is he playing me for bigger things?
Driving past our old house, I have to wonder how it all came to this. We were in love. The man I saw today was not the man whom I was prepared to give my life to. That man is long gone. If only I had seen that sooner, maybe I wouldn’t have had to go through everything I had. The fire, the nightmares, it all comes back, and now I’m hanging by a thread and barely keeping it together.
I force myself to push the pain that I’ve long forgotten down, and not allow the darkness to creep in. When I’m back in the safety of my home, the safety that Holly gives me, only then will I allow myself to break.
Chapter Eighteen
Nix
Pocketing my phone, I let out a frustrated sigh. Kadence was engaged to that fucking asshole? It’s too fucked up to process. Talk about twisted. This guy is dangerous, and as second to Gunner Jamieson, I have no doubt this little meeting was set up.
“What’s happening, boss?” Brooks asks, and I turn looking at him and Sy. I sent Jesse to follow Kadence ‘cause I knew she wouldn’t go back like she was told. Stubborn-ass woman.
“The damn woman didn’t go back to the clubhouse.”
“Figured,” he smiles, shaking his head. “Get used to it, brother. Been with Kelly for ten years, and the wife still doesn’t listen to me.”
I shake my head, not thinking of the next ten years. I don’t know if I’ll last a month without that woman doing my head in. That’s a lie; the thought thrills me. What pisses me off is knowing that the asshole has had her. Had what’s mine.
“You stupid fuckers are mad, thinking you can’t control a woman,” Sy informs us. He doesn’t normally give us his opinion, but lately I’ve noticed a slight change in him. I’ve grown to like the silent Sy. This new one is a little strange to get used to.
I shake my head knowing he’s right, but even if I never control Kadence, even if I have to give her my balls on a silver platter, I know it would be better than anything I’ve ever had. When I ended things with Addison, I never thought I would find myself wanting a relationship again. Kadence is different. Her fucking mouth is always fighting me, pushing me, and pulling me. I can’t get enough.
I nearly killed that asshole for speaking that way about Kadence. He had it coming, but calling her a whore, fuck. I turned red with fury. No one calls my woman a whore. After Jesse pulled her away, the asshole Edwards took the blow I delivered. He stood there with a smile on his face as he wiped the blood trail from the corner of his mouth; the guy is whacked. After telling him to not contact her again, I made it very clear where we stand on territory. Letting him know about our meeting with the Mayhems earlier, he didn’t seem so smug. The fucker is trying to play us and knowing that alone gives us a one up. Something about the club has him running scared. I only hope he doesn’t grow some balls and come running back. We gave him a message to send along to his boss, Gunner: under no circumstances will we ever allow their business to hit our streets. I don’t give a fuck what I have to do, even if we have to go above the law. This bullshit territory war they’ve got going on with the Mayhems needs to end.
“Want us to follow you?” Brooks asks, knowing I’m in for some fun.
“Fuck no. I’m not ready for my boys to see me get my balls handed to me,” I tell them, watching them laugh. Fuckers have no idea. “Head back. I’ll stay with her tonight, or head back to mine. Either way, she’s with me.” Brooks and Sy nod before taking off on their Harleys. I don’t know what fucking game Gunner is playing, but using me as a pawn in his war with the Mayhems is one thing. Using my woman is a whole other story. Pulling out onto the street, I make my way to Kadence's house. I need answers to why she ever thought meeting with Edwards was a bright idea. Surely, she knows how dangerous and crazy the fucker is?
