Incandescent
Page 17
***
“Open the goddamn door, Kadence” I bang for the fucking tenth time. The woman is stubborn; I’ll give her that.
“Go away, badass biker daddy. She doesn’t want to see you,” her friend Holly calls back.
“Swear to Christ, woman, open the damn door or I’ll kick the fuckin’ thing down,” I yell out, my patience wearing thin.
“Nix, can you just give me tonight? Please,” Kadence calls through the door, her voice soft and quiet, letting me know she’s right there at the door. So close, yet I can feel her already pulling away.
“Babe, whatever you’ve got goin’ on in your head, get it out.” I move to the door, resting my forehead on the dark wood. “Let me in, Kadence. I’m not leavin'.” The silence is deafening before the latch on the lock clicks, and I step back waiting to see her. The door opens enough for me to walk through, and I enter, kicking it shut behind me. Not noticing the apartment around me, my eyes zero in on her. She stands in front of me, her dark hair in a knot on top of her head. Loose strands hang free, framing her face. Even in a tight cami with matching pajama bottoms, she looks amazing. Every bit of her screams sexy and fuckable. I walk forward, but her hands come up, stopping my pursuit.
“Don’t,” she orders me, but it’s not the command that stops me. It's the tone in her voice. I’m taken back by the coldness of it, of her. Looking into her eyes, I see the same look of vulnerability I witnessed when she showed me her scars back at my house.
“Don’t what, Kadence? Don’t comfort you when you’re standin’ over there all in your head, overthinkin’ some serious fucked-up shit? If you think I’m gonna let you push me away, you got another thing comin'.” I move forward and pull her into my arms. Her vanilla-smelling shampoo invades my senses, reminding me of her scent on my pillow back home. Her body sags against me, the fight in her escaping.
“Wanna tell me why you’re meetin’ with your asshole ex in the middle of fuckin’ nowhere?”
“Nix, it was fine.”
“No, Kadence,” I warn, my tone leaving no argument that I want the details.
“He’s in bed with a fuckin’ drug kingpin, babe. You weren’t fine,” I tell her, stepping back to look at her face creased with concern.
“Nix, I didn’t know that. I swear. He wasn’t selling drugs when we were engaged.” The words leave her mouth, but with her teeth biting down on her bottom lip in worry, I know she’s starting to question it.
She has every right to question it. That asshole has been around for the last four years and has only recently worked his way up to be Gunner’s right-hand man.
“What did he want?”
“What did you do to him?” She ignores my question, asking her own.
“What did he want?” I repeat, not prepared to let her know I used my fists while he ran his mouth. I already know her feelings on using your fists.
“He wants money. He lent me money to put into the house, and now he wants it back.”
“He doesn’t want your money, babe. He has plenty; he's just testin’ the waters. His boss controls the drug trade in two counties and is movin’ in on ours. He has the Warriors of Mayhem in his sights. If he gets their territory, then we got major problems here in town.” I feel myself getting worked up at the thought, but I don’t miss the ghastly whiteness spread over her face. “What is it?” Her body stiffens at my question.
“Do you know the Warriors of Mayhem?” The question comes out like she’s shocked.
“Yeah, babe, I do.” She pulls back abruptly, moving out of my arms.
“What is it?” The color of her face makes me uneasy. The fear and anger mixed in with a tortured look doesn’t sit well with me.
“Are they your friends?” She takes another step back further away from me, like she’s frightened.
“I wouldn’t call them my friends. We keep out of each other's business. We have an agreement and sometimes have to do things for each other, why?” She shakes her head, not letting me in.
“What is it, Kadence?”
I’m starting to wonder if she knows someone in the club. The anger in her eyes tells me it’s bad.
“They were responsible for the fire,” she says quietly before continuing, “Zane owed them money, and he didn’t pay. That’s what the police told me. I lost my home because they wanted their money.”
Fuck me. My day just got a whole lot more messed up.
“He owed them a lot more than money. He used their money and tried to set up his own distribution in town. That is a big fuckin’ no,” I try to explain the situation. “The Warriors of Mayhem and our club have an arrangement: no drugs in Rushford. We’ve kept it clean for the last five years. Edwards has been around that whole time, tryin’ to break through that law.”
She shakes her head not accepting what I’m telling her. She walks over to the living room, planting her ass down on her leather sofa. “I’m serious, Kadence. He started out small time, got into some serious shit with Gunner and fucked with the MC. I’m tellin’ you now that shit falls back on him settin’ up in town.”
“It doesn’t matter what it was, Nix. They are responsible for what happened to me.” I walk toward her, squatting down in front of her.
“I don’t doubt your anger, Kadence. Knowin’ they did that makes me see red, but that anger and that fear needs to be directed at your ex.”
“So you think it’s okay that they set my house on fire, just because it was a warning?”
“Fuck no,” I quickly reply, sensing things are getting way out of hand. It’s not fucking okay, but fuck, I have to explain how dangerous these men are. I have no doubt the Mayhems threatened her; this is how they run. I feel conflicted in wanting to agree with her, but at the same time, I don’t. “Kadence, just let me get my head around the fact that you were even engaged to that asshole.”
“Don’t bother. It sounds to me like you’re defending them. Is that what sort of club you run?” She’s not listening to what I have to say and I have no idea how to get through.
“Kadence, don’t fuckin’ put words in my mouth. All I’m sayin’ is you obviously don’t know the truth. All this anger should be directed to your ex. Goin’ to a fuckin’ secluded park with a man like Edwards is not smart. What were you thinkin’?”
“He’s my ex. I was fine,” she dismisses my concern, pissing me off.
“Yeah, so I’ve been told. That and how much you loved working your warm mouth on him. No wonder you’re so good at it,” I lash out and regret the words before I finish saying them. Her hand comes across my face, the slap stinging my cheek, the sound echoing in the quiet living area, shocking both of us.
“Get out.”
“I’m not goin’ anywhere.”
“I swear to God, Nix, get the fuck out of my house. I've got nothing to say to you.”
“Well, I’ve got a lot to say to you. Be pissed. That was a shitty thing to say, but fuck, listenin’ to him tell me about you workin’ his cock wasn’t on top of my list of things I wanna fuckin’ hear. I told you to stay put. I don’t fuckin’ have time to be chasin’ your ass cause you decide to get a wild hair and fuck off.” I can feel my anger rising and I can see hers bubbling under my gaze.
“Nix, just go. I don’t want to see you anymore. This thing between us will never work if you’re in bed with those types of people,” she repeats my words about her ex back at me. I know she's angry, but so am I. I don’t wanna leave her, but I sure as fuck don’t wanna play games. I think about leaning and taking her mouth, claiming it to show her I can see past this bullshit argument. I know she’s freaking out and trying to push me away.
Deciding to do just that, I lean in and slam my mouth on hers. She fights it, her hands coming to my chest pushing me back. I push further, intent to taste her, to calm her. I just want to make her see that I’m not what she thinks I am. My hand cups her neck, pulling her closer to me. Her soft lips open slightly, and for a second, I think I’ve got her, my tongue sliding into the wetness, seeking to entwine with hers, until she latches onto it and bites down hard.
“Fuck, Kadence, why’d the fuck you do that?” I ask, pulling back from her lips. My question comes out as a lisp. A warm, metallic, salty taste mixes with my saliva. Her hands come to my shoulders, pushing me back. I fall flat on my ass but watch her stand and walk to the front door.
“Go, Nix. I’ve got nothing to say to you.” Her face holds no emotion. It’s like she's just mentally switched off from me. Holly walks into the room watching our exchange carefully, but not saying anything. She looks to Kadence and back to me.
“Kadence,” I sigh, rising from the floor, wiping the blood on my sleeve.
“Save it. You have no idea what you’re talking about, Nix. You weren’t there. You didn’t experience what I went through. For you to sit there telling me I’m misdirecting my anger, you're no better than Zane, and that just proves it. I’ve got nothing to say to you.” She draws in a hard breath.
“Kadence.”
“Get. The. Fuck. Out.”
I walk up to her realizing I’ve totally screwed this up. The fun, flirty, sassy woman I’ve come to know over the last couple of weeks is gone, and standing in front of me is a cold replacement. Smartass Kadence is hot, but pissed off Kadence is something else. I know I’m not going to get through to her right now. Her ability to act indifferent doesn’t surprise me; she's been like this from the moment I met her. But I’ve also seen her open up, seen the other side of this cold indifference.
“You think I don’t know what I’m talkin’ about, Kadence? That same club that you hate so much took my mom from me. I know exactly what you’re goin’ through. If you would just calm the fuck down, you would see I don’t condone any of this shit, so don’t play that card with me.” My words register to her and understanding washes over her features before she hides it. We both stand quietly watching each other.
“I realized I fucked up here and you’re angry. I get that. So I’m gonna let you calm down, let both of us calm down, but make no mistake, I’m comin’ back and we will talk about this,” I tell her when she doesn’t say anything. I lean down to kiss her lips, but she turns her head, giving me her cheek.
Fuck me.
I walk straight out and then listen to her slam the door behind me. My fist connects to the wall beside me. Pain radiates through my hand, taking my mind off the fucked-up shit that just happened. Looking back at the door, I stand for a few minutes hoping she changes her mind. When the door doesn’t open, I walk away, pissed that I’m not with her right now, pissed that I fucked it up and even more pissed Zane Edwards is the cause of it all.
Motherfucker is gonna pay.
Chapter Nineteen
Kadence
Throwing back another shot, I let the burn take over and allow the warmth to soothe me. Good God, I needed that.
Turning around from the bar, I scan the club trying to find something to take my mind off the emptiness that has taken residence in me all week. Holly and I are back at Liquid, and if I’m going to be stuck here for the night, I may as well make the most of it. Holly dragged me out kicking and screaming after sulking all week at the way things ended with Nix. I keep replaying the whole scene in my head, and each word, each action leaves me cringing. I fucked up. Bad.
Taking my drink, I make my way back to our table. I stumble slightly, the fifth shot making its way through my system. Yes, just what I was looking for, total oblivion.
“Whoa there, sweetheart,” a familiar voice breathes over my ear while reaching for me before my ass lands on the floor.
“Jesse? What are you doing here?” I ask as I look up and gain my feet, walking the rest of the way back to my chair.
“What? Didn’t you know?” he barks out a short laugh and sits down next to me. “Kadence, the Knights Rebels own this place.” He shakes his head.
What the hell? How did I not know that? I need to pay more attention.
“Tell me he isn’t here.” A spark ignites for a second, and I look around hoping to see him but praying I don’t.
“God, no.” He shakes his head. “He sees you wearing that dress, you'd be out of here before you’d even see it coming.” Like hell, I would be. I wouldn’t give up without a fight. Besides, Nix and I are done. I haven’t heard from him since I tossed him out last Sunday; it’s now Friday. He did tell me he would call me, but I haven’t heard from him since he texted me later that first night, telling me he wished I was with him, in his bed. I ignored him, my stubborn ass pushing him further away. Am I hurt that he hasn’t called? Yes and no. What girl doesn’t want a guy to call and sweep her off her feet, but at the same time, I’ve been hanging onto the anger all week. Holly’s pissed at me because I met with Zane without her and that my stubborn ass is refusing to contact Nix. To top it all off, after the way I acted, she is siding with Nix.
“Wanna tell me what you’ve done to our Prez?” Jesse elbows me, taking me out of my alcohol-induced fog.
“What are you talking about, Jesse?” I act unaffected. I don’t want to get into it with him.
“He’s been sulking around all week, and I haven’t seen you around. Put two and two together.” He sits back, his booted feet crossed at the ankles. I ignore his question and the pang of guilt I feel at hearing Nix is having a shit week like me. I look out at the dance floor trying to find Holly. I spot her dancing with a different guy than the one she went out there with. I wish I could be like her. I wish I had the freedom and the confidence not to be weighed down with my past worries. Nix was the first person who allowed me to do just that, and now after seeing Zane for ten minutes, I feel like everything is coming down around me. I’ve screwed things up. I bet he realizes what a raging bitch I am.
“Open the goddamn door, Kadence” I bang for the fucking tenth time. The woman is stubborn; I’ll give her that.
“Go away, badass biker daddy. She doesn’t want to see you,” her friend Holly calls back.
“Swear to Christ, woman, open the damn door or I’ll kick the fuckin’ thing down,” I yell out, my patience wearing thin.
“Nix, can you just give me tonight? Please,” Kadence calls through the door, her voice soft and quiet, letting me know she’s right there at the door. So close, yet I can feel her already pulling away.
“Babe, whatever you’ve got goin’ on in your head, get it out.” I move to the door, resting my forehead on the dark wood. “Let me in, Kadence. I’m not leavin'.” The silence is deafening before the latch on the lock clicks, and I step back waiting to see her. The door opens enough for me to walk through, and I enter, kicking it shut behind me. Not noticing the apartment around me, my eyes zero in on her. She stands in front of me, her dark hair in a knot on top of her head. Loose strands hang free, framing her face. Even in a tight cami with matching pajama bottoms, she looks amazing. Every bit of her screams sexy and fuckable. I walk forward, but her hands come up, stopping my pursuit.
“Don’t,” she orders me, but it’s not the command that stops me. It's the tone in her voice. I’m taken back by the coldness of it, of her. Looking into her eyes, I see the same look of vulnerability I witnessed when she showed me her scars back at my house.
“Don’t what, Kadence? Don’t comfort you when you’re standin’ over there all in your head, overthinkin’ some serious fucked-up shit? If you think I’m gonna let you push me away, you got another thing comin'.” I move forward and pull her into my arms. Her vanilla-smelling shampoo invades my senses, reminding me of her scent on my pillow back home. Her body sags against me, the fight in her escaping.
“Wanna tell me why you’re meetin’ with your asshole ex in the middle of fuckin’ nowhere?”
“Nix, it was fine.”
“No, Kadence,” I warn, my tone leaving no argument that I want the details.
“He’s in bed with a fuckin’ drug kingpin, babe. You weren’t fine,” I tell her, stepping back to look at her face creased with concern.
“Nix, I didn’t know that. I swear. He wasn’t selling drugs when we were engaged.” The words leave her mouth, but with her teeth biting down on her bottom lip in worry, I know she’s starting to question it.
She has every right to question it. That asshole has been around for the last four years and has only recently worked his way up to be Gunner’s right-hand man.
“What did he want?”
“What did you do to him?” She ignores my question, asking her own.
“What did he want?” I repeat, not prepared to let her know I used my fists while he ran his mouth. I already know her feelings on using your fists.
“He wants money. He lent me money to put into the house, and now he wants it back.”
“He doesn’t want your money, babe. He has plenty; he's just testin’ the waters. His boss controls the drug trade in two counties and is movin’ in on ours. He has the Warriors of Mayhem in his sights. If he gets their territory, then we got major problems here in town.” I feel myself getting worked up at the thought, but I don’t miss the ghastly whiteness spread over her face. “What is it?” Her body stiffens at my question.
“Do you know the Warriors of Mayhem?” The question comes out like she’s shocked.
“Yeah, babe, I do.” She pulls back abruptly, moving out of my arms.
“What is it?” The color of her face makes me uneasy. The fear and anger mixed in with a tortured look doesn’t sit well with me.
“Are they your friends?” She takes another step back further away from me, like she’s frightened.
“I wouldn’t call them my friends. We keep out of each other's business. We have an agreement and sometimes have to do things for each other, why?” She shakes her head, not letting me in.
“What is it, Kadence?”
I’m starting to wonder if she knows someone in the club. The anger in her eyes tells me it’s bad.
“They were responsible for the fire,” she says quietly before continuing, “Zane owed them money, and he didn’t pay. That’s what the police told me. I lost my home because they wanted their money.”
Fuck me. My day just got a whole lot more messed up.
“He owed them a lot more than money. He used their money and tried to set up his own distribution in town. That is a big fuckin’ no,” I try to explain the situation. “The Warriors of Mayhem and our club have an arrangement: no drugs in Rushford. We’ve kept it clean for the last five years. Edwards has been around that whole time, tryin’ to break through that law.”
She shakes her head not accepting what I’m telling her. She walks over to the living room, planting her ass down on her leather sofa. “I’m serious, Kadence. He started out small time, got into some serious shit with Gunner and fucked with the MC. I’m tellin’ you now that shit falls back on him settin’ up in town.”
“It doesn’t matter what it was, Nix. They are responsible for what happened to me.” I walk toward her, squatting down in front of her.
“I don’t doubt your anger, Kadence. Knowin’ they did that makes me see red, but that anger and that fear needs to be directed at your ex.”
“So you think it’s okay that they set my house on fire, just because it was a warning?”
“Fuck no,” I quickly reply, sensing things are getting way out of hand. It’s not fucking okay, but fuck, I have to explain how dangerous these men are. I have no doubt the Mayhems threatened her; this is how they run. I feel conflicted in wanting to agree with her, but at the same time, I don’t. “Kadence, just let me get my head around the fact that you were even engaged to that asshole.”
“Don’t bother. It sounds to me like you’re defending them. Is that what sort of club you run?” She’s not listening to what I have to say and I have no idea how to get through.
“Kadence, don’t fuckin’ put words in my mouth. All I’m sayin’ is you obviously don’t know the truth. All this anger should be directed to your ex. Goin’ to a fuckin’ secluded park with a man like Edwards is not smart. What were you thinkin’?”
“He’s my ex. I was fine,” she dismisses my concern, pissing me off.
“Yeah, so I’ve been told. That and how much you loved working your warm mouth on him. No wonder you’re so good at it,” I lash out and regret the words before I finish saying them. Her hand comes across my face, the slap stinging my cheek, the sound echoing in the quiet living area, shocking both of us.
“Get out.”
“I’m not goin’ anywhere.”
“I swear to God, Nix, get the fuck out of my house. I've got nothing to say to you.”
“Well, I’ve got a lot to say to you. Be pissed. That was a shitty thing to say, but fuck, listenin’ to him tell me about you workin’ his cock wasn’t on top of my list of things I wanna fuckin’ hear. I told you to stay put. I don’t fuckin’ have time to be chasin’ your ass cause you decide to get a wild hair and fuck off.” I can feel my anger rising and I can see hers bubbling under my gaze.
“Nix, just go. I don’t want to see you anymore. This thing between us will never work if you’re in bed with those types of people,” she repeats my words about her ex back at me. I know she's angry, but so am I. I don’t wanna leave her, but I sure as fuck don’t wanna play games. I think about leaning and taking her mouth, claiming it to show her I can see past this bullshit argument. I know she’s freaking out and trying to push me away.
Deciding to do just that, I lean in and slam my mouth on hers. She fights it, her hands coming to my chest pushing me back. I push further, intent to taste her, to calm her. I just want to make her see that I’m not what she thinks I am. My hand cups her neck, pulling her closer to me. Her soft lips open slightly, and for a second, I think I’ve got her, my tongue sliding into the wetness, seeking to entwine with hers, until she latches onto it and bites down hard.
“Fuck, Kadence, why’d the fuck you do that?” I ask, pulling back from her lips. My question comes out as a lisp. A warm, metallic, salty taste mixes with my saliva. Her hands come to my shoulders, pushing me back. I fall flat on my ass but watch her stand and walk to the front door.
“Go, Nix. I’ve got nothing to say to you.” Her face holds no emotion. It’s like she's just mentally switched off from me. Holly walks into the room watching our exchange carefully, but not saying anything. She looks to Kadence and back to me.
“Kadence,” I sigh, rising from the floor, wiping the blood on my sleeve.
“Save it. You have no idea what you’re talking about, Nix. You weren’t there. You didn’t experience what I went through. For you to sit there telling me I’m misdirecting my anger, you're no better than Zane, and that just proves it. I’ve got nothing to say to you.” She draws in a hard breath.
“Kadence.”
“Get. The. Fuck. Out.”
I walk up to her realizing I’ve totally screwed this up. The fun, flirty, sassy woman I’ve come to know over the last couple of weeks is gone, and standing in front of me is a cold replacement. Smartass Kadence is hot, but pissed off Kadence is something else. I know I’m not going to get through to her right now. Her ability to act indifferent doesn’t surprise me; she's been like this from the moment I met her. But I’ve also seen her open up, seen the other side of this cold indifference.
“You think I don’t know what I’m talkin’ about, Kadence? That same club that you hate so much took my mom from me. I know exactly what you’re goin’ through. If you would just calm the fuck down, you would see I don’t condone any of this shit, so don’t play that card with me.” My words register to her and understanding washes over her features before she hides it. We both stand quietly watching each other.
“I realized I fucked up here and you’re angry. I get that. So I’m gonna let you calm down, let both of us calm down, but make no mistake, I’m comin’ back and we will talk about this,” I tell her when she doesn’t say anything. I lean down to kiss her lips, but she turns her head, giving me her cheek.
Fuck me.
I walk straight out and then listen to her slam the door behind me. My fist connects to the wall beside me. Pain radiates through my hand, taking my mind off the fucked-up shit that just happened. Looking back at the door, I stand for a few minutes hoping she changes her mind. When the door doesn’t open, I walk away, pissed that I’m not with her right now, pissed that I fucked it up and even more pissed Zane Edwards is the cause of it all.
Motherfucker is gonna pay.
Chapter Nineteen
Kadence
Throwing back another shot, I let the burn take over and allow the warmth to soothe me. Good God, I needed that.
Turning around from the bar, I scan the club trying to find something to take my mind off the emptiness that has taken residence in me all week. Holly and I are back at Liquid, and if I’m going to be stuck here for the night, I may as well make the most of it. Holly dragged me out kicking and screaming after sulking all week at the way things ended with Nix. I keep replaying the whole scene in my head, and each word, each action leaves me cringing. I fucked up. Bad.
Taking my drink, I make my way back to our table. I stumble slightly, the fifth shot making its way through my system. Yes, just what I was looking for, total oblivion.
“Whoa there, sweetheart,” a familiar voice breathes over my ear while reaching for me before my ass lands on the floor.
“Jesse? What are you doing here?” I ask as I look up and gain my feet, walking the rest of the way back to my chair.
“What? Didn’t you know?” he barks out a short laugh and sits down next to me. “Kadence, the Knights Rebels own this place.” He shakes his head.
What the hell? How did I not know that? I need to pay more attention.
“Tell me he isn’t here.” A spark ignites for a second, and I look around hoping to see him but praying I don’t.
“God, no.” He shakes his head. “He sees you wearing that dress, you'd be out of here before you’d even see it coming.” Like hell, I would be. I wouldn’t give up without a fight. Besides, Nix and I are done. I haven’t heard from him since I tossed him out last Sunday; it’s now Friday. He did tell me he would call me, but I haven’t heard from him since he texted me later that first night, telling me he wished I was with him, in his bed. I ignored him, my stubborn ass pushing him further away. Am I hurt that he hasn’t called? Yes and no. What girl doesn’t want a guy to call and sweep her off her feet, but at the same time, I’ve been hanging onto the anger all week. Holly’s pissed at me because I met with Zane without her and that my stubborn ass is refusing to contact Nix. To top it all off, after the way I acted, she is siding with Nix.
“Wanna tell me what you’ve done to our Prez?” Jesse elbows me, taking me out of my alcohol-induced fog.
“What are you talking about, Jesse?” I act unaffected. I don’t want to get into it with him.
“He’s been sulking around all week, and I haven’t seen you around. Put two and two together.” He sits back, his booted feet crossed at the ankles. I ignore his question and the pang of guilt I feel at hearing Nix is having a shit week like me. I look out at the dance floor trying to find Holly. I spot her dancing with a different guy than the one she went out there with. I wish I could be like her. I wish I had the freedom and the confidence not to be weighed down with my past worries. Nix was the first person who allowed me to do just that, and now after seeing Zane for ten minutes, I feel like everything is coming down around me. I’ve screwed things up. I bet he realizes what a raging bitch I am.
