Incandescent
Page 31
“Fuck, Jesse, he can wait. Get back on your knees.”
“Nix, that’s rude. I’m not going to suck your cock while Jesse waits for us at the front door.” She adjusts her dress, smirking at me.
“Why the fuck not? He’d probably do the same,” I say, knowing full well the fucker would.
“Come on, honey,” she smiles sweetly at me. I’m left standing there. My cock hanging, neglected out of my pants as Kadence sashays her ass to the front door.
Fuck, I just got played.
***
I sit back in my chair and look out around my clubhouse as my brothers, my family, and our friends come together to celebrate my woman’s birthday.
The whole club is here tonight. My pops, Z, even Kadence’s parents. Z’s staying with Frank and Jolene this weekend, to give us a night free. Since Kadence came home from the hospital, Z has become close with them, especially Jolene.
Looking over, I watch Z as he stands with Frank, no doubt talking about the fish that he and Pops caught earlier today. He's been doing a lot better the last couple days, taking all of my girl’s attention too.
Jesse has already picked up for the night; the blonde who’s been sitting on his lap is a teacher at Kadence’s school. Kadence’s mom and Kelly are fussing about in the kitchen while Beau and Brooks sit talking with my pops over by the bar, and Sy is sulking in the corner. Ever since the night the girls were attacked, Sy has been holding on to some serious fucking anger. Holly won’t talk about it to Kadence, but my bet is there’s something going on between them.
The situation is fucked.
The last eight weeks have been about healing and coming to terms with what happened. Holly pushing everyone out was her way of dealing with her shit. I can't say I blame her. It didn't stop me from being pissed with her though for pushing my girl away. But I gave her that play, let her go with it for a month, and then it had to stop. The nightmares that plague Kadence, and the guilt she is feeling is enough. She needs her best friend. So I paid Holly a visit, told her she needed to pull her head out of her ass and start letting someone in. Kadence might put up with her being a bitch to her, but I wouldn’t. I wasn’t an asshole about it. I communicated that to her nicely or as nicely as you can when you tell someone to pull their head out of their ass. I think that’s all she needed, someone to get her out of her head. The last four weeks have been a huge difference with Kadence and Holly even having a few girls’ nights in. Holly is slowly coming back to herself and my girl couldn’t be happier.
“Have you seen Holly yet?” Kadence comes up to me, her short dress still pissing me off.
“Not yet, just relax, babe. She’s comin’.” Her top teeth bite at her bottom lip in concern, worrying about something that is out of her control. I reach forward and pinch her ass. “Quit worryin’ about it. She’ll be here,” I tell her just as Holly walks into the club. Her long blonde hair is gone, replaced with a shorter hairstyle. Holy shit.
I turn and look for Sy and see him regard her, before stalking forward in a slow but deliberate way. He grabs a hold of her wrist as everyone looks on, watching her struggle.
“Sy, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Kadence races over to where they stand. I follow behind, knowing shit is about to go down.
“Stay out of it, Kadence. This is between Holly and me.” Sy’s eyes drill into Holly, not releasing his grip.
“Like hell, Sy, let her go,” she snaps back, moving in to break the connection he has on her friend.
My arms come around her waist, pulling her to me.
“Nix, let me go. Tell Sy to let her go.” She fights my hold.
“Cool it, woman. Let them work it out.” I pull her back a step
“Nix, she’s frightened.”
“She’s fine. She's just playin’ hard to get,” I explain close to her ear. Her fight slows as she watches their exchange. Sy pulls Holly into him; his head lowers to speak something in her ear. Her eyes narrow, but you can see something moving behind them before they soften. Understanding and acceptance wash over her as her rigid body softens in his embrace.
Kadence relaxes her body as she notices what I see. Taking her hand, I walk her back to our now empty table, giving Holly and Sy some time. Most of the guests continue back as they were, or make their way outside.
“What was that about?”
“That was Sy puttin’ his foot down. The woman has been pushin’ his buttons for the last three months. Seems like Sy has had enough.”
“I don’t blame him, with the way she looks tonight,” Kadence smiles. Looking over at the new Holly, I have to agree. Her dress is just as revealing as Kadence’s. “She looks amazing,” she continues. “I can’t believe she cut all her hair off. She looks hot.”
“Not as hot as you,” I say, watching her. She rolls her eyes, but I can see the light behind them. “Except when we get home, this dress will be ripped off. Don’t think I’ve forgotten about your little game earlier.” I lean into her. “That little stunt cost you a spankin’, and fair warnin’, it’s not gonna be gentle. My balls are feelin’ neglected, and if I have to sit here and watch you creatin’ hard-on’s in your wake, I’m gonna get my payback.”
“Oh, please, Jesse had to pick up the cake. I didn’t play you. Besides, you love it. You love them knowing that I’m yours,” she tells me, looking out at everyone around us. She’s right, but I’m not going to tell her that.
“I love you, and I can sure as fuck tell you I do not like seein’ other men rake their eyes over you.” I hold her gaze. Done with waiting, done with holding it back, I lay it out for her in the middle of my club. I can see the struggle play out over her face. The fight her head is having with her heart. It’s been the same way from the start of the relationship, her body wanting one thing, her head telling her another. The woman is a pain in my ass, and as much as I love that she pushes me to work harder and to be better, right about now, it’s starting to piss me off. Wanting to get through to her, I do what I’ve always done to get a response. I challenge her.
“You still falling in lust, Kadence? Or are you willing to admit you already fell?
Chapter Thirty-One
Kadence
“...are you willing to admit you already fell?”
I roll the question around my head, trying to stall. Of course, I love the man, who wouldn’t? However, saying the words have been harder than I first thought. I’ve guarded my heart for such a long time I didn’t want to give it away again so freely, but Nix being Nix, not only stole it, he possesses it. I don’t know what my reservations are; there have been plenty of opportunities to tell him how I felt over the last few weeks. Every night while he's held me and helped me heal, I've wanted to blurt it out. However, every time I’ve felt the words begin to roll off my tongue, I held back, feeling awkward and out of my element. I know he’s wanted to say it, holding on to thinking I don’t want to hear it, but that’s not the case. It's not that I don’t want to feel loved. I do. I crave his love as much as I crave him, so what’s holding me back?
Nothing, my head declares, my heart agreeing. My feelings for Nix are more than love. He's more than words. It’s a fierce and consuming power that demands everything I have to give. I’ve fought him and he’s won. I've played him and he’s won. I’ve surrendered to him, shed my shields, bared my soul, and he took it, owned me. Completely peeled me open, left me stripped, and not once did he leave me alone. I love this man devastatingly, irrevocably, incandescently and absolutely more than I’ve ever loved anyone.
The three words on the tip of my tongue spill out, holding back no reservations.
“I love you, Nix.”
“You love me?” he asks, shocked I just admitted to him what he already knew. Love is not words. Love is feeling and love is doing. He just needed the words. Nix’s knowing smirk pushes me to answer what he’s known all along. I nod, affirming what he needs.
“Words, babe, I need the words.”
“Yes, Nix, I. Love. You.” I roll my eyes at another thing he has bossed out of me.
“Woman, don’t sass me right before I’m about to ask you to be my wife.”
The words don’t register, or the fact that he stands from his chair, takes my hand and pulls me up. He kisses me deeply and passionately before going down on one knee in front of me, in front of everyone. The small box he pulls out of his back pocket frightens me; the platinum diamond ring sparkling in front of me renders me speechless.
He wouldn’t?
Nothing registers.
Nothing breaks through
Until he speaks.
“I feel like I need to stitch those words into my heart with a needle and thread, Kadence,” he exhales, his emerald eyes anchoring me to my spot. “Kadence, you set me on fire, woman. You walked into my life all attitude and spunk and I thought I had to have you just once. Then you kneed me in the balls and I fell. I fell hard.” Everyone around us laughs at hearing how he came to fall for me, but my eyes stay firmly on him. “I’ve been everythin’ I want to be in this life, but one thing... your husband. Marry me.”
The music around us has stopped. Looking around, I notice our friends and family have gathered looking on, waiting for my reply. It’s like I’m stuck on pause, watching a show. My heart is beating out of rhythm as I take in his proposal.
“I only just told you I loved you, Nix. Don’t you think this is moving too fast?” I try to ask quietly.
“Babe.”
“What? It’s true!”
“Jesus Christ,” he curses under his breath.
Shit, now I feel bad.
He looks up at me still down on one knee. “You love me. Why wait? I’m not givin’ you a chance to change your mind.”
My body is screaming at me to accept, my mind telling my mouth to speak the word ‘yes,' but I don’t know how to process, with everyone waiting.
“Come on, Kadence. Don’t leave me hangin’ here. The only time I’ve ever gotten down on my knee and you’re makin’ me beg? Do I need to fuck you into a yes again?”
There it is, his cocky attitude, his Nix-way of getting anything he wants, by pushing me. He doesn’t even care he just used fuck in his marriage proposal in front of both our parents. I’m mortified, but only a little.
“Yes. Yes, I will marry you,” I laugh, smacking him when he stands from his kneeling position. He takes my mouth in a desperate kiss, his hands cupping my face. Pulling back, he whispers soft kisses over my face, telling me how desperately he loves me. Reaching for my hand, he places the most amazing ring I’ve ever seen down my finger. I admire the platinum gold, cushion cut, halo diamond ring, before he abruptly pulls me behind him as our family and friends cheer on.
“Where are we going?” I ask panicked, trying to hold him back from our descent out of the club.
“To get married,” he responds as if he just told me we’re going to the bar.
“What? Nix, wait,” I yell, confused. Flash backs of our first date come to mind, making me giggle.
“No waitin’. That shit took longer than I thought. I need that piece of paper sayin’ you're my wife, now!”
“Nix!”
“What?” He stops pulling me along,
“I love you, Nix, but this is crazy.”
“Nothin’ crazy about it.”
“Nix, we are not getting married tonight!”
“Why the hell not?”
“Because, because...” I can’t seem to find the words why this would be a bad idea. Maybe this is crazy and it would be amazing, but I want to be able to celebrate with my family and our friends
“You want to,” he accuses. “You want nothin’ more than for me to take you to Vegas right now and claim you as my wife.” I can’t help but agree. I do, but I also want the whole thing, the dress, my mom and dad. I want what I deserve, what we both deserve.
“I do, Nix, but as much as the madness of all that thrills me, I want my mom and dad there, and Z. I need Z there. I want to do it right.” I watch as understanding falls over him, accepting my need for my family to be there.
“I am crazy for you. Do you feel that?” His hand engulfs mine, moving it over his heart.
“Yeah, I feel it,” I say, laughing. “I felt it when you asked me to marry you just because I told you that I loved you,” I joke, knowing just how crazy he is.
“I’ve had that ring in my pocket for the last nine weeks, the day you came home from the hospital."
“You lie.”
“Never.”
“Why? Why would you do that?” I ask confused.
“‘Cause, Kadence, the moment I realized I couldn’t live without you, I also realized I never wanted anyone to have that feelin’, knowin’ how much Kadence Turner made their lives pure. I bought the ring, so the moment you finally realized you loved me, I could make you mine, on the spot. You have been the one for me since the moment you opened that mouth and gave me attitude, and I’m not ever lettin’ that go.”
“I love you too, Nix. I love you more than I thought I could love somebody.” The words fall easily off my tongue.
“Kadence, nobody will ever love you the way I do.”
He’s right. No one has and no one will. I believe it with all my heart, and all my soul.
“Come, let's go see our parents. I'm sure your dad might feel the need to have a few words with me.” He pulls me back to our family and friends
“Nix, that’s rude. I’m not going to suck your cock while Jesse waits for us at the front door.” She adjusts her dress, smirking at me.
“Why the fuck not? He’d probably do the same,” I say, knowing full well the fucker would.
“Come on, honey,” she smiles sweetly at me. I’m left standing there. My cock hanging, neglected out of my pants as Kadence sashays her ass to the front door.
Fuck, I just got played.
***
I sit back in my chair and look out around my clubhouse as my brothers, my family, and our friends come together to celebrate my woman’s birthday.
The whole club is here tonight. My pops, Z, even Kadence’s parents. Z’s staying with Frank and Jolene this weekend, to give us a night free. Since Kadence came home from the hospital, Z has become close with them, especially Jolene.
Looking over, I watch Z as he stands with Frank, no doubt talking about the fish that he and Pops caught earlier today. He's been doing a lot better the last couple days, taking all of my girl’s attention too.
Jesse has already picked up for the night; the blonde who’s been sitting on his lap is a teacher at Kadence’s school. Kadence’s mom and Kelly are fussing about in the kitchen while Beau and Brooks sit talking with my pops over by the bar, and Sy is sulking in the corner. Ever since the night the girls were attacked, Sy has been holding on to some serious fucking anger. Holly won’t talk about it to Kadence, but my bet is there’s something going on between them.
The situation is fucked.
The last eight weeks have been about healing and coming to terms with what happened. Holly pushing everyone out was her way of dealing with her shit. I can't say I blame her. It didn't stop me from being pissed with her though for pushing my girl away. But I gave her that play, let her go with it for a month, and then it had to stop. The nightmares that plague Kadence, and the guilt she is feeling is enough. She needs her best friend. So I paid Holly a visit, told her she needed to pull her head out of her ass and start letting someone in. Kadence might put up with her being a bitch to her, but I wouldn’t. I wasn’t an asshole about it. I communicated that to her nicely or as nicely as you can when you tell someone to pull their head out of their ass. I think that’s all she needed, someone to get her out of her head. The last four weeks have been a huge difference with Kadence and Holly even having a few girls’ nights in. Holly is slowly coming back to herself and my girl couldn’t be happier.
“Have you seen Holly yet?” Kadence comes up to me, her short dress still pissing me off.
“Not yet, just relax, babe. She’s comin’.” Her top teeth bite at her bottom lip in concern, worrying about something that is out of her control. I reach forward and pinch her ass. “Quit worryin’ about it. She’ll be here,” I tell her just as Holly walks into the club. Her long blonde hair is gone, replaced with a shorter hairstyle. Holy shit.
I turn and look for Sy and see him regard her, before stalking forward in a slow but deliberate way. He grabs a hold of her wrist as everyone looks on, watching her struggle.
“Sy, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Kadence races over to where they stand. I follow behind, knowing shit is about to go down.
“Stay out of it, Kadence. This is between Holly and me.” Sy’s eyes drill into Holly, not releasing his grip.
“Like hell, Sy, let her go,” she snaps back, moving in to break the connection he has on her friend.
My arms come around her waist, pulling her to me.
“Nix, let me go. Tell Sy to let her go.” She fights my hold.
“Cool it, woman. Let them work it out.” I pull her back a step
“Nix, she’s frightened.”
“She’s fine. She's just playin’ hard to get,” I explain close to her ear. Her fight slows as she watches their exchange. Sy pulls Holly into him; his head lowers to speak something in her ear. Her eyes narrow, but you can see something moving behind them before they soften. Understanding and acceptance wash over her as her rigid body softens in his embrace.
Kadence relaxes her body as she notices what I see. Taking her hand, I walk her back to our now empty table, giving Holly and Sy some time. Most of the guests continue back as they were, or make their way outside.
“What was that about?”
“That was Sy puttin’ his foot down. The woman has been pushin’ his buttons for the last three months. Seems like Sy has had enough.”
“I don’t blame him, with the way she looks tonight,” Kadence smiles. Looking over at the new Holly, I have to agree. Her dress is just as revealing as Kadence’s. “She looks amazing,” she continues. “I can’t believe she cut all her hair off. She looks hot.”
“Not as hot as you,” I say, watching her. She rolls her eyes, but I can see the light behind them. “Except when we get home, this dress will be ripped off. Don’t think I’ve forgotten about your little game earlier.” I lean into her. “That little stunt cost you a spankin’, and fair warnin’, it’s not gonna be gentle. My balls are feelin’ neglected, and if I have to sit here and watch you creatin’ hard-on’s in your wake, I’m gonna get my payback.”
“Oh, please, Jesse had to pick up the cake. I didn’t play you. Besides, you love it. You love them knowing that I’m yours,” she tells me, looking out at everyone around us. She’s right, but I’m not going to tell her that.
“I love you, and I can sure as fuck tell you I do not like seein’ other men rake their eyes over you.” I hold her gaze. Done with waiting, done with holding it back, I lay it out for her in the middle of my club. I can see the struggle play out over her face. The fight her head is having with her heart. It’s been the same way from the start of the relationship, her body wanting one thing, her head telling her another. The woman is a pain in my ass, and as much as I love that she pushes me to work harder and to be better, right about now, it’s starting to piss me off. Wanting to get through to her, I do what I’ve always done to get a response. I challenge her.
“You still falling in lust, Kadence? Or are you willing to admit you already fell?
Chapter Thirty-One
Kadence
“...are you willing to admit you already fell?”
I roll the question around my head, trying to stall. Of course, I love the man, who wouldn’t? However, saying the words have been harder than I first thought. I’ve guarded my heart for such a long time I didn’t want to give it away again so freely, but Nix being Nix, not only stole it, he possesses it. I don’t know what my reservations are; there have been plenty of opportunities to tell him how I felt over the last few weeks. Every night while he's held me and helped me heal, I've wanted to blurt it out. However, every time I’ve felt the words begin to roll off my tongue, I held back, feeling awkward and out of my element. I know he’s wanted to say it, holding on to thinking I don’t want to hear it, but that’s not the case. It's not that I don’t want to feel loved. I do. I crave his love as much as I crave him, so what’s holding me back?
Nothing, my head declares, my heart agreeing. My feelings for Nix are more than love. He's more than words. It’s a fierce and consuming power that demands everything I have to give. I’ve fought him and he’s won. I've played him and he’s won. I’ve surrendered to him, shed my shields, bared my soul, and he took it, owned me. Completely peeled me open, left me stripped, and not once did he leave me alone. I love this man devastatingly, irrevocably, incandescently and absolutely more than I’ve ever loved anyone.
The three words on the tip of my tongue spill out, holding back no reservations.
“I love you, Nix.”
“You love me?” he asks, shocked I just admitted to him what he already knew. Love is not words. Love is feeling and love is doing. He just needed the words. Nix’s knowing smirk pushes me to answer what he’s known all along. I nod, affirming what he needs.
“Words, babe, I need the words.”
“Yes, Nix, I. Love. You.” I roll my eyes at another thing he has bossed out of me.
“Woman, don’t sass me right before I’m about to ask you to be my wife.”
The words don’t register, or the fact that he stands from his chair, takes my hand and pulls me up. He kisses me deeply and passionately before going down on one knee in front of me, in front of everyone. The small box he pulls out of his back pocket frightens me; the platinum diamond ring sparkling in front of me renders me speechless.
He wouldn’t?
Nothing registers.
Nothing breaks through
Until he speaks.
“I feel like I need to stitch those words into my heart with a needle and thread, Kadence,” he exhales, his emerald eyes anchoring me to my spot. “Kadence, you set me on fire, woman. You walked into my life all attitude and spunk and I thought I had to have you just once. Then you kneed me in the balls and I fell. I fell hard.” Everyone around us laughs at hearing how he came to fall for me, but my eyes stay firmly on him. “I’ve been everythin’ I want to be in this life, but one thing... your husband. Marry me.”
The music around us has stopped. Looking around, I notice our friends and family have gathered looking on, waiting for my reply. It’s like I’m stuck on pause, watching a show. My heart is beating out of rhythm as I take in his proposal.
“I only just told you I loved you, Nix. Don’t you think this is moving too fast?” I try to ask quietly.
“Babe.”
“What? It’s true!”
“Jesus Christ,” he curses under his breath.
Shit, now I feel bad.
He looks up at me still down on one knee. “You love me. Why wait? I’m not givin’ you a chance to change your mind.”
My body is screaming at me to accept, my mind telling my mouth to speak the word ‘yes,' but I don’t know how to process, with everyone waiting.
“Come on, Kadence. Don’t leave me hangin’ here. The only time I’ve ever gotten down on my knee and you’re makin’ me beg? Do I need to fuck you into a yes again?”
There it is, his cocky attitude, his Nix-way of getting anything he wants, by pushing me. He doesn’t even care he just used fuck in his marriage proposal in front of both our parents. I’m mortified, but only a little.
“Yes. Yes, I will marry you,” I laugh, smacking him when he stands from his kneeling position. He takes my mouth in a desperate kiss, his hands cupping my face. Pulling back, he whispers soft kisses over my face, telling me how desperately he loves me. Reaching for my hand, he places the most amazing ring I’ve ever seen down my finger. I admire the platinum gold, cushion cut, halo diamond ring, before he abruptly pulls me behind him as our family and friends cheer on.
“Where are we going?” I ask panicked, trying to hold him back from our descent out of the club.
“To get married,” he responds as if he just told me we’re going to the bar.
“What? Nix, wait,” I yell, confused. Flash backs of our first date come to mind, making me giggle.
“No waitin’. That shit took longer than I thought. I need that piece of paper sayin’ you're my wife, now!”
“Nix!”
“What?” He stops pulling me along,
“I love you, Nix, but this is crazy.”
“Nothin’ crazy about it.”
“Nix, we are not getting married tonight!”
“Why the hell not?”
“Because, because...” I can’t seem to find the words why this would be a bad idea. Maybe this is crazy and it would be amazing, but I want to be able to celebrate with my family and our friends
“You want to,” he accuses. “You want nothin’ more than for me to take you to Vegas right now and claim you as my wife.” I can’t help but agree. I do, but I also want the whole thing, the dress, my mom and dad. I want what I deserve, what we both deserve.
“I do, Nix, but as much as the madness of all that thrills me, I want my mom and dad there, and Z. I need Z there. I want to do it right.” I watch as understanding falls over him, accepting my need for my family to be there.
“I am crazy for you. Do you feel that?” His hand engulfs mine, moving it over his heart.
“Yeah, I feel it,” I say, laughing. “I felt it when you asked me to marry you just because I told you that I loved you,” I joke, knowing just how crazy he is.
“I’ve had that ring in my pocket for the last nine weeks, the day you came home from the hospital."
“You lie.”
“Never.”
“Why? Why would you do that?” I ask confused.
“‘Cause, Kadence, the moment I realized I couldn’t live without you, I also realized I never wanted anyone to have that feelin’, knowin’ how much Kadence Turner made their lives pure. I bought the ring, so the moment you finally realized you loved me, I could make you mine, on the spot. You have been the one for me since the moment you opened that mouth and gave me attitude, and I’m not ever lettin’ that go.”
“I love you too, Nix. I love you more than I thought I could love somebody.” The words fall easily off my tongue.
“Kadence, nobody will ever love you the way I do.”
He’s right. No one has and no one will. I believe it with all my heart, and all my soul.
“Come, let's go see our parents. I'm sure your dad might feel the need to have a few words with me.” He pulls me back to our family and friends
