Inside Out
Page 88
“Maybe I’ll see her at the hospital. I haven’t had this coffee yet. Or breakfast.”
“Really? That’s your answer?” Elise’s brows flew up.
“Ren, honey, can you get me the sweatshirt I left on the bed? I’m a little chilly.”
She hopped off Brody’s lap. “Sure! Uncle Adrian, Cope says the cinnamon-raisin bagels are all mine. But since you’re so nice and all, you can have one.”
Once she was gone, Adrian stood up. “Let’s walk, shall we? I think I left something in my car.”
Cope groaned but grabbed a coffee and followed.
“Are you dumping her for the way she confronted your dad yesterday? Because if you are, first I will punch your face and then I will make a move on her myself. But since we’re friends and you’re obviously going through something, why don’t you tell me what the f**k it is before I have to muss up that pretty face.”
“I just didn’t come over here last night. For f**k’s sake! I’m not dumping her. I don’t have to be with her every second of the day to be with her as her boyfriend. I’m not breaking up with her just because I needed some time alone.”
“You’re full of shit.”
“I’m out of here. I don’t want to have this conversation with you or with them. Did she talk about me last night? Say something bad? You’re all overreacting.” It had never occurred to him that she would, but they all seemed so judgy about him all the sudden.
“Do you really think Ella would do that? You’re an ass**le if you say yes, because we both know your girl adores you, dumb ass. She only says nice things about you, and I can’t imagine her slagging you off in public, though she might private-like to Elise. That’s what women do.”
“Look, my brother is freaked, and it freaked me too. I’m human, for God’s sake. Why do I have to apologize to people I’m not dating about it? Do you know what it’s like? Huh?”
“Do I know what it’s like to have my sister and nephew in the hospital? Um, yeah. I was there the first time, when she had Adele. Then I was there when we had to claim Adele’s body from the morgue and Erin was still laid up and on pain meds kept extra thick to control the hours upon hours of weeping over the murder of her child. So, um, yeah, yeah I do know.”
Cope sighed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I worry about Erin too, and the baby.”
“Then what are you talking about?”
“Have you ever been in love? Like really in love with a woman. So deeply that she’s sort of like air, or food, you need her with all your heart and soul? She smiles and everything inside you settles down and admires because you know that smile is for you alone? You imagine her in your house, think about her round and pregnant with your children. The sound of her voice makes you happy. No other woman walks like her or sounds like her. No other beauty is like hers.”
“I have liked women I’ve dated. I’ve enjoyed them, and if I’d stuck it out for a while longer, I suppose I could have fallen in love like that. But no. I haven’t, and I’m damned glad to hear you have.”
“So you get this thing that’s like the best kind of high ever, this thing that fills you up, makes you whole and fuels you. You never expected it, you watched your friends find it, but what it looks like, no matter how good it looks from the outside, you can’t understand just what it feels like to have it yourself. You get used to it. Find a rhythm that’s totally natural. She fits me; I fit her.”
Adrian nodded. “Yeah? So what’s up your ass? This all sounds good to me. Did she dump you?”
Cope snorted. “No.” At least he didn’t think so. “What if I lost her? I’ve never been in a long-term relationship before. What if I f**k up, and she breaks up with me? What if I drive her away? What if we do stay together and she has problems with her pregnancy and I lose her and the baby both? What if she realizes I’m just a pretty face and no substance?”
“She told us about the house. We went over there, you know? You were at work. I went into the shop to get a touch-up, and we went to your house and peeked through your windows. She was right; you’re so much more than what most people see. She gets that. She gets you. You’re going to walk away from that now just in case she might die in a freak accident or you stick your dick into another woman for some unforeseen reason? Come on, Andrew, be real with yourself. She’s solid, and you are too.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
“Go to her. Talk to her. She looked very sad last night. She loves you, Andrew. Let yourself be loved.”
Adrian turned and flipped him off as he walked back up to the house.
“Fuckin hippie,” Cope called out.
“Whatever. Remember what I said: punch in the face, and then I will find out what it means to love the beautiful Ella Tipton.”
“Just because you’re a rock star doesn’t mean I won’t kick your ass.” He got back in his car with a smile and headed toward Ella.
She woke up slowly, trying to ignore the way his absence felt. It wasn’t like he’d spent every night with her. He hadn’t. But they had at least spoken to each other, and last night had left her unsettled.
He’d been upset over the whole scene with his father, with her most likely, with Erin’s health situation. She didn’t like knowing he was upset and not having any real chance to help. Today she’d seek him out to talk, to work things through.
“Really? That’s your answer?” Elise’s brows flew up.
“Ren, honey, can you get me the sweatshirt I left on the bed? I’m a little chilly.”
She hopped off Brody’s lap. “Sure! Uncle Adrian, Cope says the cinnamon-raisin bagels are all mine. But since you’re so nice and all, you can have one.”
Once she was gone, Adrian stood up. “Let’s walk, shall we? I think I left something in my car.”
Cope groaned but grabbed a coffee and followed.
“Are you dumping her for the way she confronted your dad yesterday? Because if you are, first I will punch your face and then I will make a move on her myself. But since we’re friends and you’re obviously going through something, why don’t you tell me what the f**k it is before I have to muss up that pretty face.”
“I just didn’t come over here last night. For f**k’s sake! I’m not dumping her. I don’t have to be with her every second of the day to be with her as her boyfriend. I’m not breaking up with her just because I needed some time alone.”
“You’re full of shit.”
“I’m out of here. I don’t want to have this conversation with you or with them. Did she talk about me last night? Say something bad? You’re all overreacting.” It had never occurred to him that she would, but they all seemed so judgy about him all the sudden.
“Do you really think Ella would do that? You’re an ass**le if you say yes, because we both know your girl adores you, dumb ass. She only says nice things about you, and I can’t imagine her slagging you off in public, though she might private-like to Elise. That’s what women do.”
“Look, my brother is freaked, and it freaked me too. I’m human, for God’s sake. Why do I have to apologize to people I’m not dating about it? Do you know what it’s like? Huh?”
“Do I know what it’s like to have my sister and nephew in the hospital? Um, yeah. I was there the first time, when she had Adele. Then I was there when we had to claim Adele’s body from the morgue and Erin was still laid up and on pain meds kept extra thick to control the hours upon hours of weeping over the murder of her child. So, um, yeah, yeah I do know.”
Cope sighed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I worry about Erin too, and the baby.”
“Then what are you talking about?”
“Have you ever been in love? Like really in love with a woman. So deeply that she’s sort of like air, or food, you need her with all your heart and soul? She smiles and everything inside you settles down and admires because you know that smile is for you alone? You imagine her in your house, think about her round and pregnant with your children. The sound of her voice makes you happy. No other woman walks like her or sounds like her. No other beauty is like hers.”
“I have liked women I’ve dated. I’ve enjoyed them, and if I’d stuck it out for a while longer, I suppose I could have fallen in love like that. But no. I haven’t, and I’m damned glad to hear you have.”
“So you get this thing that’s like the best kind of high ever, this thing that fills you up, makes you whole and fuels you. You never expected it, you watched your friends find it, but what it looks like, no matter how good it looks from the outside, you can’t understand just what it feels like to have it yourself. You get used to it. Find a rhythm that’s totally natural. She fits me; I fit her.”
Adrian nodded. “Yeah? So what’s up your ass? This all sounds good to me. Did she dump you?”
Cope snorted. “No.” At least he didn’t think so. “What if I lost her? I’ve never been in a long-term relationship before. What if I f**k up, and she breaks up with me? What if I drive her away? What if we do stay together and she has problems with her pregnancy and I lose her and the baby both? What if she realizes I’m just a pretty face and no substance?”
“She told us about the house. We went over there, you know? You were at work. I went into the shop to get a touch-up, and we went to your house and peeked through your windows. She was right; you’re so much more than what most people see. She gets that. She gets you. You’re going to walk away from that now just in case she might die in a freak accident or you stick your dick into another woman for some unforeseen reason? Come on, Andrew, be real with yourself. She’s solid, and you are too.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
“Go to her. Talk to her. She looked very sad last night. She loves you, Andrew. Let yourself be loved.”
Adrian turned and flipped him off as he walked back up to the house.
“Fuckin hippie,” Cope called out.
“Whatever. Remember what I said: punch in the face, and then I will find out what it means to love the beautiful Ella Tipton.”
“Just because you’re a rock star doesn’t mean I won’t kick your ass.” He got back in his car with a smile and headed toward Ella.
She woke up slowly, trying to ignore the way his absence felt. It wasn’t like he’d spent every night with her. He hadn’t. But they had at least spoken to each other, and last night had left her unsettled.
He’d been upset over the whole scene with his father, with her most likely, with Erin’s health situation. She didn’t like knowing he was upset and not having any real chance to help. Today she’d seek him out to talk, to work things through.
