Inside Out
Page 89
She started water for the French press and stumbled her way to the shower. She knew she’d need to check in at the hospital soon, but, as she washed her hair, she figured she’d give them some time to wake up. Hospitals were busiest first thing in the morning. She knew this because she’d been in one long enough to have the memory cemented into place.
So Erin would most likely con Todd or Ben to go grab her a real breakfast at one of the restaurants nearby. They’d assent and bring her back not the bacon, hash browns and two eggs she’d asked for, but something healthier and in line with the dietary restrictions she had due to the blood pressure problems.
She laughed to herself as she dried off and pulled on clothes. Those three were made for each other. Her men would be sure she took care of herself, and she’d do it for them, as well as for the baby. A boy.
Erin had this strong feeling the baby was a girl. Only Todd had known the gender, but the beans had been spilled the day before at the hospital. Ella’s baby gift was that she’d made up three weeks of meals for the three of them, all now safely ensconced in the huge freezer at their apartment. Easy stuff to pop in the oven. She didn’t have a lot of extra money, but she had the time, and she’d made them all in the larger kitchen of the café.
She’d babysit, of course, though she had a very strong feeling Erin wouldn’t want to leave the baby much. After losing Adele, how else would she act?
It was brave.
Ella poured the hot water into the press and dropped bread into the toaster.
A few months back, Erin had told Ella she thought Ella was brave. But Erin had come to her after the attack. Erin, whose reasons for hospital aversion were far more devastating than Ella’s had been. Erin, who’d opened herself up to love with Todd and then Ben. Erin, who’d been able to get past the loss and embrace the future with the baby she carried. Ella could only hope to be half that brave.
As she ate breakfast and sipped her coffee, she called and checked in. Erin had explained that they were going to keep her there a few more days, but that she still wasn’t able to have visitors other than Ben, Todd and her brothers.
Ella insisted she’d stop by later to bring some books and magazines for her, and also said she’d check in on the café. Erin had tried to argue but in the end had thanked her, and they’d talked a bit more about the baby. Ella hadn’t said anything about Ben and Cope’s father; it wasn’t necessary and it would only make Erin upset.
There was a buzz from the front door intercom, so she ended her call and found it was Andrew, who she let through. Most people would have left their front door ajar, but Ella wasn’t most people. So she waited for him, opening the door when he got there.
Immediately he embraced her, and her worries fell away.
“Morning, Red. Mmmm, you smell good.”
He kissed her, and she gave over to it, letting the way he tasted run riot through her.
“How are you this morning? I’ve got coffee. Want some?” She turned, leaving her hand in his, leading him to the kitchen.
“Busy. Spoke with Ben to check in on Erin. I suppose you’ve done that too?”
He sat, and she looked at him, liking how the light from the pale morning outside backlit his body.
“I did. She’s in good spirits. Though she did tell me that after she gave birth she’s sending someone out right away to get her a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich.” She turned, smiling at the idea as she poured a cup of coffee for him.
“I’m sorry.”
She sat next to him, tucking a leg beneath her, and sipped her own coffee. “For what?”
“If I told you I cheated on you last night, would you break up with me?”
She stood, spilling coffee on herself, cursing as she moved to clean it up. “What? Why? Why would you do that?” Her heart raced, and she felt like throwing up.
“I didn’t. God, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you believe that. I was trying to make some other point, and now I see how stupid it was. I didn’t cheat on you, Ella.”
She wanted to throw the rest of the coffee in his face just then. Instead, she punched his arm and kicked her couch, which really hurt and made her even madder at him. “Why would you do that? Why would you say such a thing to me? If you want to break up, be a man and do it without mind-fucking me.”
“I’m scared. All right?” He put his hands out, open palms facing her, and her heart softened. But she still didn’t let him any closer.
“That you’ll cheat on me?” Had she always wondered if she was enough? Maybe. She’d seen the way other women looked at him. Had watched him flirt hundreds of times. It came to him naturally. No, no that was stupid. He was different; he did love her, and doubts were stupid.
“I’m such a tool.” He drew her to the couch and sat with her, and she put a pillow in between them. “I’m f**king this up and hurting your feelings.”
“Yes! You are. Dear God, if you’re going to break up with me, just do it! If you’re scared of breaking up, I’m sorry, but you’re ripping me to shreds here, Andrew.”
“I love you. I don’t want to cheat on you. I’m not worried I ever would. I know the difference between what I had before, what I did, who I was with those other women. And who I am now and what we are.”
Where the hell was he going with all this?
“So why the f**k are you talking about cheating?”
“It was my stupid way of trying to make a point, and it sounded way better in my head than it does out loud. It was a stupid thing, and it has nothing to do with this.” He sounded so miserable, she allowed him to take her hand. “I am worried I’m going to f**k up. I’m worried I’ll be an ass**le and drive you away and I won’t have you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
So Erin would most likely con Todd or Ben to go grab her a real breakfast at one of the restaurants nearby. They’d assent and bring her back not the bacon, hash browns and two eggs she’d asked for, but something healthier and in line with the dietary restrictions she had due to the blood pressure problems.
She laughed to herself as she dried off and pulled on clothes. Those three were made for each other. Her men would be sure she took care of herself, and she’d do it for them, as well as for the baby. A boy.
Erin had this strong feeling the baby was a girl. Only Todd had known the gender, but the beans had been spilled the day before at the hospital. Ella’s baby gift was that she’d made up three weeks of meals for the three of them, all now safely ensconced in the huge freezer at their apartment. Easy stuff to pop in the oven. She didn’t have a lot of extra money, but she had the time, and she’d made them all in the larger kitchen of the café.
She’d babysit, of course, though she had a very strong feeling Erin wouldn’t want to leave the baby much. After losing Adele, how else would she act?
It was brave.
Ella poured the hot water into the press and dropped bread into the toaster.
A few months back, Erin had told Ella she thought Ella was brave. But Erin had come to her after the attack. Erin, whose reasons for hospital aversion were far more devastating than Ella’s had been. Erin, who’d opened herself up to love with Todd and then Ben. Erin, who’d been able to get past the loss and embrace the future with the baby she carried. Ella could only hope to be half that brave.
As she ate breakfast and sipped her coffee, she called and checked in. Erin had explained that they were going to keep her there a few more days, but that she still wasn’t able to have visitors other than Ben, Todd and her brothers.
Ella insisted she’d stop by later to bring some books and magazines for her, and also said she’d check in on the café. Erin had tried to argue but in the end had thanked her, and they’d talked a bit more about the baby. Ella hadn’t said anything about Ben and Cope’s father; it wasn’t necessary and it would only make Erin upset.
There was a buzz from the front door intercom, so she ended her call and found it was Andrew, who she let through. Most people would have left their front door ajar, but Ella wasn’t most people. So she waited for him, opening the door when he got there.
Immediately he embraced her, and her worries fell away.
“Morning, Red. Mmmm, you smell good.”
He kissed her, and she gave over to it, letting the way he tasted run riot through her.
“How are you this morning? I’ve got coffee. Want some?” She turned, leaving her hand in his, leading him to the kitchen.
“Busy. Spoke with Ben to check in on Erin. I suppose you’ve done that too?”
He sat, and she looked at him, liking how the light from the pale morning outside backlit his body.
“I did. She’s in good spirits. Though she did tell me that after she gave birth she’s sending someone out right away to get her a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich.” She turned, smiling at the idea as she poured a cup of coffee for him.
“I’m sorry.”
She sat next to him, tucking a leg beneath her, and sipped her own coffee. “For what?”
“If I told you I cheated on you last night, would you break up with me?”
She stood, spilling coffee on herself, cursing as she moved to clean it up. “What? Why? Why would you do that?” Her heart raced, and she felt like throwing up.
“I didn’t. God, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you believe that. I was trying to make some other point, and now I see how stupid it was. I didn’t cheat on you, Ella.”
She wanted to throw the rest of the coffee in his face just then. Instead, she punched his arm and kicked her couch, which really hurt and made her even madder at him. “Why would you do that? Why would you say such a thing to me? If you want to break up, be a man and do it without mind-fucking me.”
“I’m scared. All right?” He put his hands out, open palms facing her, and her heart softened. But she still didn’t let him any closer.
“That you’ll cheat on me?” Had she always wondered if she was enough? Maybe. She’d seen the way other women looked at him. Had watched him flirt hundreds of times. It came to him naturally. No, no that was stupid. He was different; he did love her, and doubts were stupid.
“I’m such a tool.” He drew her to the couch and sat with her, and she put a pillow in between them. “I’m f**king this up and hurting your feelings.”
“Yes! You are. Dear God, if you’re going to break up with me, just do it! If you’re scared of breaking up, I’m sorry, but you’re ripping me to shreds here, Andrew.”
“I love you. I don’t want to cheat on you. I’m not worried I ever would. I know the difference between what I had before, what I did, who I was with those other women. And who I am now and what we are.”
Where the hell was he going with all this?
“So why the f**k are you talking about cheating?”
“It was my stupid way of trying to make a point, and it sounded way better in my head than it does out loud. It was a stupid thing, and it has nothing to do with this.” He sounded so miserable, she allowed him to take her hand. “I am worried I’m going to f**k up. I’m worried I’ll be an ass**le and drive you away and I won’t have you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
