Kaleidoscope
Page 63
I said that but what I didn’t say was that, even though it was rude to be late, it wasn’t like I breezed in having forgotten them because I was at home inserting razor blades into Easter candy I’d pass out at church to all Gnaw Bones’ children.
I’d screwed up and people did that.
I also apologized.
Which meant his dad didn’t like me but I also was not a big fan of his dad.
“Last woman I got serious about was Elsbeth,” he remarked.
I shut my mouth and leaned a bit away.
Jacob lifted a hand to curl around the side of my neck and he brought me back, dipping his face even closer.
“You know how that ended. So do they,” he finished.
“It’s been nine years and I’m not Elsbeth,” I replied.
“I been hung up on her for nine years and you’re not Elsbeth but you knew her. You know she was notoriously late for every-fuckin’-thing. He probably got a flashback and if you wouldn’t pull away or act like my touch burns every time I get close, he’d get over it.”
“I didn’t pull away or act like your touch burns,” I returned.
“Babe,” he stated and said not another word but his mouth got tight after he was finished uttering it.
Then again, for once, “babe” said it all. Jittery and freaking out, I did just that and we both knew it. Therefore I couldn’t argue that point.
“Okay, how about this?” I asked. “I want to go home because I need a break. I need to regroup and maybe you can bring them around tomorrow for a tour of my house and I’ll try again.”
“How about this?” Jacob responded immediately. “You sleep where you belong, beside me, and we all go over there tomorrow so you can give them a tour after lunch.”
“Honey, can’t you understand where I’m coming from?” I pleaded.
“Baby, I could if you hadn’t f**kin’ forgotten my f**kin’ parents were comin’ to town. Somethin’ you’ve known for weeks. Somethin’ we made concrete plans about days ago. Somethin’ you gotta know means somethin’ to all involved. Then you show and act not you, which, since we’re havin’ this conversation, I’ll point out, you been actin’ not you for a while.”
I blinked at his words, not to mention his sneak attack, and pulled at his hand at my neck.
It tightened so I stopped pulling and asked, “What?”
“Since Faye had the baby, you’ve been off.”
“I have not,” I replied. “I’ve been me. And, by the way, I acted not me today because Rich put me on edge.”
He ignored my second statement and returned to his earlier theme.
“You miss my calls, when you never missed my calls. You call back hours later, but only if I leave a message. You never call me, which you used to do just because. And you’re comin’ to my place later and later, or textin’ me to ask me to show at yours later and later ’cause you supposedly have shit to do.”
“I’m one man down at the yard and in the middle of hiring a temporary replacement who actually won’t be a temporary replacement once Dane goes down, so he has to be the right guy for the job,” I reminded him.
“You shiftin’ lumber?” he asked.
“No,” I answered.
“Then you gotta put an ad in the paper and sift through applications, Emme. It isn’t like you’re out in the yard workin’ shoulder to shoulder with your boys.”
I felt my back get straight and my eyes get squinty. “You don’t know all the ins and outs of my job, honey.”
“I know hirin’ one guy doesn’t take five extra hours of your day, babe.”
“I didn’t say it was taking five extra hours,” I shot back.
“Then why are you suddenly unavailable pretty much all f**kin’ day?” he asked. “Unavailable when before I always got you.”
“We’re settling in, Jacob. Before, what we have was just starting. Fresh. New. Now it’s a part of life.”
“Emmanuelle, we been seein’ each other not even two months. It’s still just starting. And, babe, just sayin’, that just starting feeling is the best one to have so maybe we might want to hold onto that for as long as we can.”
“I have a life, Jacob. I have to live it and fit us in it.”
This was the wrong thing to say.
I knew it when he pulled away, dropping his hand from my neck, and said, “Sorry, babe. Had no idea it would be tough for you to fit me in. Fit in gettin’ to know my folks. Put a little effort into makin’ my dad like you. Shoulda had a mind to that.”
He was taking this too far.
“That’s not what I meant,” I snapped.
“It’s what you said,” he fired back.
I pulled in a ragged, annoyed breath.
Then I said, “Maybe we should finish this after your folks go home, or at least when they’re not just down the hall.”
He shook his head and stated bizarrely, “Told you, it started happening, Emme, I’d put a stop to it.”
I felt my brows draw together and asked, “Stop what?”
“You disconnecting.”
Another sneak attack, one I responded to physically.
I took a half step back and whispered, “I’m not disconnecting.”
“You totally f**kin’ are.” His eyes on me grew intense and he went on, “Just don’t get what tripped it. But whatever tripped it, I’m putting a stop to it.”
“Jacob—”
“And I’m doin’ it by sayin’ you’re spending the night. You don’t, we got problems. And tomorrow, you’re gonna suck it up and give it another go with my dad. He knows you, my Emme, the Emme you give me when you aren’t pullin’ away, he’ll love you. Then, when they leave, we’re gonna sit down and talk about a variety of shit.”
I wasn’t doing any of that and therefore informed him, “I’m not down with that plan, Jacob.”
“I don’t give a f**k, Emmanuelle.”
It was definitely time to lay it out but what I had to lay out could not be overheard.
So I got close and whispered, “Okay, I was late. That was bad. I forgot. That was worse. I shouldn’t have done either, but I apologized. I know you love him and you’re close but it was your dad who was uncool with me, Jacob. All day. And if you’re so close with him and can’t see it, hark back to how your mom reacted to it. She was not pleased because she knows, like I know, it was uncool.”
I’d screwed up and people did that.
I also apologized.
Which meant his dad didn’t like me but I also was not a big fan of his dad.
“Last woman I got serious about was Elsbeth,” he remarked.
I shut my mouth and leaned a bit away.
Jacob lifted a hand to curl around the side of my neck and he brought me back, dipping his face even closer.
“You know how that ended. So do they,” he finished.
“It’s been nine years and I’m not Elsbeth,” I replied.
“I been hung up on her for nine years and you’re not Elsbeth but you knew her. You know she was notoriously late for every-fuckin’-thing. He probably got a flashback and if you wouldn’t pull away or act like my touch burns every time I get close, he’d get over it.”
“I didn’t pull away or act like your touch burns,” I returned.
“Babe,” he stated and said not another word but his mouth got tight after he was finished uttering it.
Then again, for once, “babe” said it all. Jittery and freaking out, I did just that and we both knew it. Therefore I couldn’t argue that point.
“Okay, how about this?” I asked. “I want to go home because I need a break. I need to regroup and maybe you can bring them around tomorrow for a tour of my house and I’ll try again.”
“How about this?” Jacob responded immediately. “You sleep where you belong, beside me, and we all go over there tomorrow so you can give them a tour after lunch.”
“Honey, can’t you understand where I’m coming from?” I pleaded.
“Baby, I could if you hadn’t f**kin’ forgotten my f**kin’ parents were comin’ to town. Somethin’ you’ve known for weeks. Somethin’ we made concrete plans about days ago. Somethin’ you gotta know means somethin’ to all involved. Then you show and act not you, which, since we’re havin’ this conversation, I’ll point out, you been actin’ not you for a while.”
I blinked at his words, not to mention his sneak attack, and pulled at his hand at my neck.
It tightened so I stopped pulling and asked, “What?”
“Since Faye had the baby, you’ve been off.”
“I have not,” I replied. “I’ve been me. And, by the way, I acted not me today because Rich put me on edge.”
He ignored my second statement and returned to his earlier theme.
“You miss my calls, when you never missed my calls. You call back hours later, but only if I leave a message. You never call me, which you used to do just because. And you’re comin’ to my place later and later, or textin’ me to ask me to show at yours later and later ’cause you supposedly have shit to do.”
“I’m one man down at the yard and in the middle of hiring a temporary replacement who actually won’t be a temporary replacement once Dane goes down, so he has to be the right guy for the job,” I reminded him.
“You shiftin’ lumber?” he asked.
“No,” I answered.
“Then you gotta put an ad in the paper and sift through applications, Emme. It isn’t like you’re out in the yard workin’ shoulder to shoulder with your boys.”
I felt my back get straight and my eyes get squinty. “You don’t know all the ins and outs of my job, honey.”
“I know hirin’ one guy doesn’t take five extra hours of your day, babe.”
“I didn’t say it was taking five extra hours,” I shot back.
“Then why are you suddenly unavailable pretty much all f**kin’ day?” he asked. “Unavailable when before I always got you.”
“We’re settling in, Jacob. Before, what we have was just starting. Fresh. New. Now it’s a part of life.”
“Emmanuelle, we been seein’ each other not even two months. It’s still just starting. And, babe, just sayin’, that just starting feeling is the best one to have so maybe we might want to hold onto that for as long as we can.”
“I have a life, Jacob. I have to live it and fit us in it.”
This was the wrong thing to say.
I knew it when he pulled away, dropping his hand from my neck, and said, “Sorry, babe. Had no idea it would be tough for you to fit me in. Fit in gettin’ to know my folks. Put a little effort into makin’ my dad like you. Shoulda had a mind to that.”
He was taking this too far.
“That’s not what I meant,” I snapped.
“It’s what you said,” he fired back.
I pulled in a ragged, annoyed breath.
Then I said, “Maybe we should finish this after your folks go home, or at least when they’re not just down the hall.”
He shook his head and stated bizarrely, “Told you, it started happening, Emme, I’d put a stop to it.”
I felt my brows draw together and asked, “Stop what?”
“You disconnecting.”
Another sneak attack, one I responded to physically.
I took a half step back and whispered, “I’m not disconnecting.”
“You totally f**kin’ are.” His eyes on me grew intense and he went on, “Just don’t get what tripped it. But whatever tripped it, I’m putting a stop to it.”
“Jacob—”
“And I’m doin’ it by sayin’ you’re spending the night. You don’t, we got problems. And tomorrow, you’re gonna suck it up and give it another go with my dad. He knows you, my Emme, the Emme you give me when you aren’t pullin’ away, he’ll love you. Then, when they leave, we’re gonna sit down and talk about a variety of shit.”
I wasn’t doing any of that and therefore informed him, “I’m not down with that plan, Jacob.”
“I don’t give a f**k, Emmanuelle.”
It was definitely time to lay it out but what I had to lay out could not be overheard.
So I got close and whispered, “Okay, I was late. That was bad. I forgot. That was worse. I shouldn’t have done either, but I apologized. I know you love him and you’re close but it was your dad who was uncool with me, Jacob. All day. And if you’re so close with him and can’t see it, hark back to how your mom reacted to it. She was not pleased because she knows, like I know, it was uncool.”
