Kitty's House of Horrors
Page 28
Provost gave me a level glare. I didn’t expect him to like what I said; but he couldn’t argue, because at least I’d said something. He finally said, “Is that how you really feel?”
I thought a minute, then said, “I think Conrad is stubborn.”
Gordon giggled but quickly shut up when Provost glared. But I’d decided that Provost didn’t have much of a sense of humor.
“Okay,” the producer said. “If we can’t go for dirt, how about blatant sentimentality? You miss your family? Anything you’d like to tell them? Your family’ll love it when they watch the show and know you were thinking of them.”
I wasn’t sure I wanted to get that sappy any more than I wanted to be a gossipy jerk. My family knew I loved them—I didn’t have to say it on national TV. In the end, though, I did miss my family. I missed Ben especially. Things kept happening that I wanted to tell him about, ask him about. On this subject, at least, I couldn’t find sarcasm to throw at Provost. Maybe the guy deserved a straight line for once.
Again, I looked at the camera. “Being away from my family is the hardest thing about being here.” I pursed my lips and didn’t have to pretend to look sad.
I hoped that would play well enough on TV for Provost. He seemed happy enough and let me loose from the camera’s eye.
Chapter 9
Toward dinnertime, a sleepy-looking, naked Lee, swimsuit in hand, came sauntering into the house. He waved a hello, then made his way upstairs.
The cameras tracked him, and the editors would probably have a great time fuzzing out the interesting bits.
Conrad said, “If I knew this was going to be that kind of show, I might have thought twice about participating.”
“The whole thing seems one-sided to me,” Jerome said. “When’s your turn, Kitty?”
“I keep offering, and you all keep saying no,” I said. “You can’t change your mind now. With you guys letting it all hang out, I can be a little discreet.”
In what had become routine, right around the time we finished eating dinner at the long dining room table, the basement door opened and the trio of the night emerged.
“Have we missed anything interesting?” Anastasia said, striding up to take one of the extra chairs. Gemma settled in beside her. Dorian remained standing, close to the wall, looking over them in a bodyguard stance that probably wasn’t just for show.
“You missed a great sunny day by the lake,” Jeffrey said.
“You can’t miss what you don’t want,” Anastasia said.
“Lee shape-shifted and scared the bejeezus out of everyone,” Tina said.
“I am sorry I missed that.”
“It seemed like the thing to do,” Lee said. He’d rejoined the group after putting on clothes and seemed to be beaming, like he was proud of the escapade.
“And is our resident skeptic convinced yet?” Anastasia said.
“He walked away for five minutes and missed it.”
She chuckled. “How perfect. We’ll be able to draw this out for days.”
From the kitchen, where he was opening another bottle of wine and pouring drinks, Conrad said, “I haven’t seen anything yet that can’t be explained by perfectly normal means.”
“Hey Conrad,” I called. “You know the principle that in a given situation, the simplest explanation is usually the correct one?”
“Occam’s razor. Yes.”
“What’s simpler: that we imported a live seal, brought it a thousand miles inland, and set it loose in an environment that might kill it, for the purpose of playing a joke on you; or that Lee’s a lycanthrope?”
He said, “If one of your options is impossible, it doesn’t matter how outlandish the only probable one sounds. It has to be the correct one.”
“I won’t argue with your logic,” I said. “Only your assumptions.”
“I don’t think you imported a seal. I think you’re making it all up,” he said.
Almost angrily, Tina said, “Is someone paying you to be this stubborn?”
Now, there was an idea. I hadn’t considered that Conrad might also be part of some conspiracy. Hell, maybe we had more than one conspiracy afoot. Wouldn’t that be exciting?
But Conrad denied it. “I’m getting paid the same stipend the rest of you are. At least, I assume I am. I’m just a lowly author and not a TV celebrity, so I may be getting peanuts compared to you.”
The door to the study/production room opened, and I jumped. Just a little. Not freaked-out jumped. Just startled. Ghost fur prickled along my back. Looking around, I saw at least a couple of the others had also flinched, startled: Tina, Gemma. All of us stared at Joey Provost, who came into the living room wearing his showbiz smile. He was carrying a shoe box–sized wooden case.
“How’s everyone doing?” he said. I clamped shut my jaw so I wouldn’t be able to say, Fine, until you got here.
“We’re all just fine, I think,” Anastasia said, eyes half-lidded, purring in perfect vampire allure. It must have been one of the powers they got, along with immortality.
“That’s great. You all up for some more fun and games?”
“Another activity rigged for maximum entertainment value,” I said. “Excellent.”
I couldn’t pull off allure like Anastasia could. All I had was snark. Glaring at me, Provost set the box on the coffee table. We gathered around.
“Your instructions are in here. Wait ’til I leave, then take a look and have at it.” He smiled like a guy who was having a lot of fun keeping a secret. Very smarmy. I didn’t like it.
The door closed behind him. He was gone, but nobody moved.
“Well?” Tina said. None of us looked all that enthusiastic—none of us were really the types who appreciated being Provost’s dancing monkeys. I wondered how they were going to edit the footage to make us look excited.
“Let’s get this over with,” I said and knelt by the table to open the box.
Inside, on bare wood, lay a folded note, five velvet jewelry boxes, and a stopwatch. I unfolded the page and read aloud.
“‘Treasure Hunt,’” the top of the page said. “‘You all have special talents, ways of searching out the hidden, of doing the impossible. You’ll break into the following five teams, and one at a time each team will have a chance to find the other half of the lockets in these boxes, which have been hidden outside the lodge. Conrad will monitor the stopwatch and see who finds the treasure the fastest.’ Dude, cliché,” I said. Sure enough, each box had a gold locket on a chain with the lid broken off. Each locket was a different shape: oval, circle, square, rectangle, and—of course—a heart. I read off the teams: Jerome and I were on one team, the vampires and Dorian on another. He’d teamed Tina with Ariel and Jeffrey with Lee. Odysseus was all by himself. This ought to be interesting.
I thought a minute, then said, “I think Conrad is stubborn.”
Gordon giggled but quickly shut up when Provost glared. But I’d decided that Provost didn’t have much of a sense of humor.
“Okay,” the producer said. “If we can’t go for dirt, how about blatant sentimentality? You miss your family? Anything you’d like to tell them? Your family’ll love it when they watch the show and know you were thinking of them.”
I wasn’t sure I wanted to get that sappy any more than I wanted to be a gossipy jerk. My family knew I loved them—I didn’t have to say it on national TV. In the end, though, I did miss my family. I missed Ben especially. Things kept happening that I wanted to tell him about, ask him about. On this subject, at least, I couldn’t find sarcasm to throw at Provost. Maybe the guy deserved a straight line for once.
Again, I looked at the camera. “Being away from my family is the hardest thing about being here.” I pursed my lips and didn’t have to pretend to look sad.
I hoped that would play well enough on TV for Provost. He seemed happy enough and let me loose from the camera’s eye.
Chapter 9
Toward dinnertime, a sleepy-looking, naked Lee, swimsuit in hand, came sauntering into the house. He waved a hello, then made his way upstairs.
The cameras tracked him, and the editors would probably have a great time fuzzing out the interesting bits.
Conrad said, “If I knew this was going to be that kind of show, I might have thought twice about participating.”
“The whole thing seems one-sided to me,” Jerome said. “When’s your turn, Kitty?”
“I keep offering, and you all keep saying no,” I said. “You can’t change your mind now. With you guys letting it all hang out, I can be a little discreet.”
In what had become routine, right around the time we finished eating dinner at the long dining room table, the basement door opened and the trio of the night emerged.
“Have we missed anything interesting?” Anastasia said, striding up to take one of the extra chairs. Gemma settled in beside her. Dorian remained standing, close to the wall, looking over them in a bodyguard stance that probably wasn’t just for show.
“You missed a great sunny day by the lake,” Jeffrey said.
“You can’t miss what you don’t want,” Anastasia said.
“Lee shape-shifted and scared the bejeezus out of everyone,” Tina said.
“I am sorry I missed that.”
“It seemed like the thing to do,” Lee said. He’d rejoined the group after putting on clothes and seemed to be beaming, like he was proud of the escapade.
“And is our resident skeptic convinced yet?” Anastasia said.
“He walked away for five minutes and missed it.”
She chuckled. “How perfect. We’ll be able to draw this out for days.”
From the kitchen, where he was opening another bottle of wine and pouring drinks, Conrad said, “I haven’t seen anything yet that can’t be explained by perfectly normal means.”
“Hey Conrad,” I called. “You know the principle that in a given situation, the simplest explanation is usually the correct one?”
“Occam’s razor. Yes.”
“What’s simpler: that we imported a live seal, brought it a thousand miles inland, and set it loose in an environment that might kill it, for the purpose of playing a joke on you; or that Lee’s a lycanthrope?”
He said, “If one of your options is impossible, it doesn’t matter how outlandish the only probable one sounds. It has to be the correct one.”
“I won’t argue with your logic,” I said. “Only your assumptions.”
“I don’t think you imported a seal. I think you’re making it all up,” he said.
Almost angrily, Tina said, “Is someone paying you to be this stubborn?”
Now, there was an idea. I hadn’t considered that Conrad might also be part of some conspiracy. Hell, maybe we had more than one conspiracy afoot. Wouldn’t that be exciting?
But Conrad denied it. “I’m getting paid the same stipend the rest of you are. At least, I assume I am. I’m just a lowly author and not a TV celebrity, so I may be getting peanuts compared to you.”
The door to the study/production room opened, and I jumped. Just a little. Not freaked-out jumped. Just startled. Ghost fur prickled along my back. Looking around, I saw at least a couple of the others had also flinched, startled: Tina, Gemma. All of us stared at Joey Provost, who came into the living room wearing his showbiz smile. He was carrying a shoe box–sized wooden case.
“How’s everyone doing?” he said. I clamped shut my jaw so I wouldn’t be able to say, Fine, until you got here.
“We’re all just fine, I think,” Anastasia said, eyes half-lidded, purring in perfect vampire allure. It must have been one of the powers they got, along with immortality.
“That’s great. You all up for some more fun and games?”
“Another activity rigged for maximum entertainment value,” I said. “Excellent.”
I couldn’t pull off allure like Anastasia could. All I had was snark. Glaring at me, Provost set the box on the coffee table. We gathered around.
“Your instructions are in here. Wait ’til I leave, then take a look and have at it.” He smiled like a guy who was having a lot of fun keeping a secret. Very smarmy. I didn’t like it.
The door closed behind him. He was gone, but nobody moved.
“Well?” Tina said. None of us looked all that enthusiastic—none of us were really the types who appreciated being Provost’s dancing monkeys. I wondered how they were going to edit the footage to make us look excited.
“Let’s get this over with,” I said and knelt by the table to open the box.
Inside, on bare wood, lay a folded note, five velvet jewelry boxes, and a stopwatch. I unfolded the page and read aloud.
“‘Treasure Hunt,’” the top of the page said. “‘You all have special talents, ways of searching out the hidden, of doing the impossible. You’ll break into the following five teams, and one at a time each team will have a chance to find the other half of the lockets in these boxes, which have been hidden outside the lodge. Conrad will monitor the stopwatch and see who finds the treasure the fastest.’ Dude, cliché,” I said. Sure enough, each box had a gold locket on a chain with the lid broken off. Each locket was a different shape: oval, circle, square, rectangle, and—of course—a heart. I read off the teams: Jerome and I were on one team, the vampires and Dorian on another. He’d teamed Tina with Ariel and Jeffrey with Lee. Odysseus was all by himself. This ought to be interesting.
