Kyland
Page 34
I led Mama to the small bedroom she and Marlo shared in the back of the trailer and she lay down on the bed. I removed her shoes and brought her quilt up over her. She sighed. "Thank you, Tenleigh." She reached her hand out for me and I took it, sitting beside her on the bed.
Her expression was filled with sadness. "I'm so sorry, baby. So sorry."
I shook my head, my eyes filling with tears. "I just want you to get better, Mama," I said.
"Me, too. I just can't quite figure out how. It's all such a mess. I'm such a mess. I try to stop it, baby, I really do. But when the darkness comes . . ." She shook her head, her words fading as she squeezed her eyes shut.
"I love you, Mama. No matter what, I love you."
Tears slipped from her eyes. "I know you do, baby. And that makes it better. It does." She turned on her side, seeming to be done talking for now, looking sleepy, and probably medicated. I smoothed her dark hair back out of her face and watched as her pretty features relaxed into sleep.
I sat there for a few more minutes, gathering myself, and then I left her alone to rest, closing her bedroom door behind me.
"She seems better," I said to Marlo quietly. Marlo and Sam were sitting on the couch, Sam's elbows resting on his knees as he looked around our trailer, a slightly displeased expression on his face. I'm sure this place looked like a rat-hole to him.
"She is. For now," Marlo said and sighed. We knew the drill. How long she'd be better was the mystery.
"Well, Sam, thank you for your help this weekend," Marlo said, standing, clearly dismissing him. He raised his eyebrows as if he hadn't been expecting the instant dismissal, yet being the gentleman he was, got up to leave.
"Of course. Are you sure you don't need me to . . .?" he trailed off, seeming to be unsure of what to offer exactly.
"No. We're good now. Thank you." She smiled. Well, this was uncomfortable.
"Thank you so much, Sam," I said, reaching my hand out to him and offering a warm smile. "It was so kind of you—"
"My pleasure." He glanced shyly at Marlo who was biting her nail. "If you can think of anything at all that you need, please don't hesitate to call me."
I nodded and Marlo started walking him toward the door. "Oh," he said, turning back around and almost colliding with her. They both laughed uncomfortably, color staining his cheekbones. He really was a handsome man—sort of nerdy with his glasses and parted hair, but he had definite potential. He seemed to really like her—if his awkward, bumbling behavior around her was any indication.
He took what looked like a pharmacy bag out of his pocket. "Make sure your mother takes this just as instructed. The doctor seemed like he was optimistic that this cocktail would really work well for her."
We'd been optimistic before.
Marlo nodded. "I will. Thank you again."
He hesitated for just a second, but then he smiled and nodded at both of us and walked out the door of our trailer, shutting it firmly behind him. A few seconds later, we heard his car start up.
Marlo dropped down on the couch and let out a loud sigh.
I sat down next to her and turned my body toward her. She looked at me sideways. "I should be very upset with you, little sister."
"But you're not?" I asked.
She took a deep breath, looking thoughtful. "I guess not. Sam, he's . . . a nice guy, mostly harmless, I think." She tilted her head and bit her lip. "And he was very helpful with Mama."
I nodded. "She seemed tired, but better."
"Just the 'doctor' title, or maybe just the fact that he's a man, got him a lot further with the doctors on Mama's floor than you or I ever did. They put her on a new cocktail they thought would help her."
I frowned. "Cocktail . . . meaning a mixture of medications . . . meaning more than one . . . meaning—"
"We won't be able to afford it, I know." She looked worried. "And maybe it won't even work any better. But Dr. Nolan, Sam, he paid for the second medication even though I told him not to." She looked at me almost guiltily. "It was for Mama, though, so I let him." She looked down, biting her lip again.
"It was the right thing to do, Mar," I said. I knew she wouldn't do it again, though. And like she'd said, maybe the new combination of medication wouldn't make a difference anyway. Lord knew we'd been through enough medications that did nothing at all for Mama—some that even made her worse.
I eyed Marlo. "So, Sam . . . I think he really likes you."
She made a scoffing sound. "Sure, for now."
"Marlo—"
"No, listen. He's a nice guy and good-looking . . . But he's a successful man. He doesn't even belong here. Not really." She paused, thinking. "But he did help make the time there go by more quickly, so for that, I'm grateful."
"Thanks for taking this turn," I said. "Missing Christmas . . ."
She looked over at me sadly. "I had company at least, though. You, you were all alone in this trailer." She grabbed my hand. "I figured you spent it reading. Were you okay?"
I looked down, my cheeks heating.
"What's that look?"
I looked up and opened my mouth to speak, but hesitated.
"Tenleigh . . ." Marlo's voice held a warning note as if I better start speaking, and fast.
I smiled nervously. "I wasn't exactly alone. And I wasn't exactly here."
Her expression was filled with sadness. "I'm so sorry, baby. So sorry."
I shook my head, my eyes filling with tears. "I just want you to get better, Mama," I said.
"Me, too. I just can't quite figure out how. It's all such a mess. I'm such a mess. I try to stop it, baby, I really do. But when the darkness comes . . ." She shook her head, her words fading as she squeezed her eyes shut.
"I love you, Mama. No matter what, I love you."
Tears slipped from her eyes. "I know you do, baby. And that makes it better. It does." She turned on her side, seeming to be done talking for now, looking sleepy, and probably medicated. I smoothed her dark hair back out of her face and watched as her pretty features relaxed into sleep.
I sat there for a few more minutes, gathering myself, and then I left her alone to rest, closing her bedroom door behind me.
"She seems better," I said to Marlo quietly. Marlo and Sam were sitting on the couch, Sam's elbows resting on his knees as he looked around our trailer, a slightly displeased expression on his face. I'm sure this place looked like a rat-hole to him.
"She is. For now," Marlo said and sighed. We knew the drill. How long she'd be better was the mystery.
"Well, Sam, thank you for your help this weekend," Marlo said, standing, clearly dismissing him. He raised his eyebrows as if he hadn't been expecting the instant dismissal, yet being the gentleman he was, got up to leave.
"Of course. Are you sure you don't need me to . . .?" he trailed off, seeming to be unsure of what to offer exactly.
"No. We're good now. Thank you." She smiled. Well, this was uncomfortable.
"Thank you so much, Sam," I said, reaching my hand out to him and offering a warm smile. "It was so kind of you—"
"My pleasure." He glanced shyly at Marlo who was biting her nail. "If you can think of anything at all that you need, please don't hesitate to call me."
I nodded and Marlo started walking him toward the door. "Oh," he said, turning back around and almost colliding with her. They both laughed uncomfortably, color staining his cheekbones. He really was a handsome man—sort of nerdy with his glasses and parted hair, but he had definite potential. He seemed to really like her—if his awkward, bumbling behavior around her was any indication.
He took what looked like a pharmacy bag out of his pocket. "Make sure your mother takes this just as instructed. The doctor seemed like he was optimistic that this cocktail would really work well for her."
We'd been optimistic before.
Marlo nodded. "I will. Thank you again."
He hesitated for just a second, but then he smiled and nodded at both of us and walked out the door of our trailer, shutting it firmly behind him. A few seconds later, we heard his car start up.
Marlo dropped down on the couch and let out a loud sigh.
I sat down next to her and turned my body toward her. She looked at me sideways. "I should be very upset with you, little sister."
"But you're not?" I asked.
She took a deep breath, looking thoughtful. "I guess not. Sam, he's . . . a nice guy, mostly harmless, I think." She tilted her head and bit her lip. "And he was very helpful with Mama."
I nodded. "She seemed tired, but better."
"Just the 'doctor' title, or maybe just the fact that he's a man, got him a lot further with the doctors on Mama's floor than you or I ever did. They put her on a new cocktail they thought would help her."
I frowned. "Cocktail . . . meaning a mixture of medications . . . meaning more than one . . . meaning—"
"We won't be able to afford it, I know." She looked worried. "And maybe it won't even work any better. But Dr. Nolan, Sam, he paid for the second medication even though I told him not to." She looked at me almost guiltily. "It was for Mama, though, so I let him." She looked down, biting her lip again.
"It was the right thing to do, Mar," I said. I knew she wouldn't do it again, though. And like she'd said, maybe the new combination of medication wouldn't make a difference anyway. Lord knew we'd been through enough medications that did nothing at all for Mama—some that even made her worse.
I eyed Marlo. "So, Sam . . . I think he really likes you."
She made a scoffing sound. "Sure, for now."
"Marlo—"
"No, listen. He's a nice guy and good-looking . . . But he's a successful man. He doesn't even belong here. Not really." She paused, thinking. "But he did help make the time there go by more quickly, so for that, I'm grateful."
"Thanks for taking this turn," I said. "Missing Christmas . . ."
She looked over at me sadly. "I had company at least, though. You, you were all alone in this trailer." She grabbed my hand. "I figured you spent it reading. Were you okay?"
I looked down, my cheeks heating.
"What's that look?"
I looked up and opened my mouth to speak, but hesitated.
"Tenleigh . . ." Marlo's voice held a warning note as if I better start speaking, and fast.
I smiled nervously. "I wasn't exactly alone. And I wasn't exactly here."
