Kyland
Page 76
"Marlo will get over it, trust me."
"Okay. I only asked him to take credit because I knew neither one of you would have accepted if you knew it was me. And because I figured you would have an easier time moving your mama and your sister to California if your mama was doing well. And because I knew you might come back if your mama wasn't doing well. And because I had the means to do it. What else was I gonna do with my money, Tenleigh?"
"Save it so you could get a college education once you quit the mine? Save it so you could start somewhere new?" She raised her hands in the air and let them fall by her sides.
"I did. I was saving. I was saving every penny I earned. Other than my used truck, I didn't spend any of it. But then your mama . . . I don't make enough monthly to pay for her stay there and so I had to supplement with some of what I'd saved. What little I have left, I wanted to keep in the bank so I could come to you as soon as possible, move where you were. There was no point in fixing up this house when I knew I'd be leaving soon."
Her shoulders sagged. "You put your own happiness aside for me, and then for my mama."
I paused, feeling uncomfortable. I had never wanted her to know any of this. "You make me sound selfless, Tenleigh. But you should know that I was plotting ways to get you back. Some of them involved bribery . . . groveling. I'm not above guilt trips."
She laughed a sad laugh and shook her head. "You're so above guilt trips."
I put my hands in my pockets and looked down.
She was quiet for a moment. "You were so angry the first time you saw me back in town," she said sadly.
I flinched, looking up. "I know. I'm sorry. I wasn't prepared to see you back here. I was shocked and angry. I was planning to come for you, to finally get out of here. And then you were back, and again, I was stuck here. And I thought you'd not only come back, but you'd come back because of Jamie. I thought you'd come back here so you could be with him and that I'd have to see that, every day. I'd just lived through hell, and it seemed like a new form of it was beginning again."
"Kyland," she said sadly. "You could have left anyway. Me being back here, even now, doesn't mean you have to stay." Her eyes flitted away and then back to me.
"Yes, it does. If you were inside my heart, you'd know that it does."
She looked at me with a sweet, confused smile and I couldn't help wanting to pull her into my arms and beg her never to leave. "Tenleigh, when I say it was my choice to do what I did, to sacrifice getting out of here so you could, I meant that I did it happily. I mean that. I suffered, yes, but I realized I would happily suffer for you, because that's what loving someone is. Willing to do anything for them, willing to make any sacrifice, suffer so they don't have to. I loved you then, and I still love you now."
"Kyland," she shook her head. "I don't know what to say. This is so much . . ." She walked to my couch and sunk down in it, the springs groaning. She looked up at me. "I bombed my finals," she said. "I did horribly on them so you would get that scholarship."
"It worked," I said going to sit next to her. "Only, we both had the same idea."
"I don't know whether to laugh or cry."
"Me neither."
She looked at me. "Kyland, I know I'm back, but it's by choice. I can leave if I want to, get a job somewhere else—anywhere I want. You gave me that. You gave me that freedom, that opportunity. You gifted me that. And now, let me gift the same to you. The school will be built in six months and I'll be making good money. I don't need to move into a house. I'll live in my trailer and I'll sacrifice for you like you did for me. I might not be able to pay for a real fancy college, and you'll have to work for your living expenses, but—"
"Ten," I said, bringing my fingers up to her lips. "If there's any chance of us working things out, if," I ran my hand through my hair, feeling exposed and vulnerable, "if there's any chance you can start to forgive me, that we can rebuild what we had, then I want to stay here. I'll work in the mine, or somewhere else maybe. If you—"
Her fingers were suddenly at my lips the same way mine had been at hers a minute earlier.
"I already do forgive you. And I never stopped loving you." She shook her head. "I tried. I tried so hard, but it didn’t work. I love you, Kyland, I always have."
I sucked in a breath. Gratitude. Relief. Love. She left me breathless. She forgave me. She'd never really left. My fighter. This girl. My beautiful girl.
I stood up so fast she squeaked out loud. I scooped her up into my arms as she let out a short, surprised laugh.
"I'm taking you into my room now. And pitifully enough, I don't even have a bed. There's a quilt on the floor and a pile of blankets on top of that. And I feel ashamed and sick that I'm about to bring you in there, but God help me, I can't wait one second longer to get you naked."
She laughed. "Kyland, walk," she ordered. "Walk fast."
She didn't have to ask me twice.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Tenleigh
I was in Kyland's arms. He was taking me to his bed—his bed on the floor. And I didn't care. Not even a little. Although the state of his house was sad and pathetic, and it made me want to cry for how he'd lived all this time, I would happily be with him anywhere. And he had done this for me. Kyland.
"Okay. I only asked him to take credit because I knew neither one of you would have accepted if you knew it was me. And because I figured you would have an easier time moving your mama and your sister to California if your mama was doing well. And because I knew you might come back if your mama wasn't doing well. And because I had the means to do it. What else was I gonna do with my money, Tenleigh?"
"Save it so you could get a college education once you quit the mine? Save it so you could start somewhere new?" She raised her hands in the air and let them fall by her sides.
"I did. I was saving. I was saving every penny I earned. Other than my used truck, I didn't spend any of it. But then your mama . . . I don't make enough monthly to pay for her stay there and so I had to supplement with some of what I'd saved. What little I have left, I wanted to keep in the bank so I could come to you as soon as possible, move where you were. There was no point in fixing up this house when I knew I'd be leaving soon."
Her shoulders sagged. "You put your own happiness aside for me, and then for my mama."
I paused, feeling uncomfortable. I had never wanted her to know any of this. "You make me sound selfless, Tenleigh. But you should know that I was plotting ways to get you back. Some of them involved bribery . . . groveling. I'm not above guilt trips."
She laughed a sad laugh and shook her head. "You're so above guilt trips."
I put my hands in my pockets and looked down.
She was quiet for a moment. "You were so angry the first time you saw me back in town," she said sadly.
I flinched, looking up. "I know. I'm sorry. I wasn't prepared to see you back here. I was shocked and angry. I was planning to come for you, to finally get out of here. And then you were back, and again, I was stuck here. And I thought you'd not only come back, but you'd come back because of Jamie. I thought you'd come back here so you could be with him and that I'd have to see that, every day. I'd just lived through hell, and it seemed like a new form of it was beginning again."
"Kyland," she said sadly. "You could have left anyway. Me being back here, even now, doesn't mean you have to stay." Her eyes flitted away and then back to me.
"Yes, it does. If you were inside my heart, you'd know that it does."
She looked at me with a sweet, confused smile and I couldn't help wanting to pull her into my arms and beg her never to leave. "Tenleigh, when I say it was my choice to do what I did, to sacrifice getting out of here so you could, I meant that I did it happily. I mean that. I suffered, yes, but I realized I would happily suffer for you, because that's what loving someone is. Willing to do anything for them, willing to make any sacrifice, suffer so they don't have to. I loved you then, and I still love you now."
"Kyland," she shook her head. "I don't know what to say. This is so much . . ." She walked to my couch and sunk down in it, the springs groaning. She looked up at me. "I bombed my finals," she said. "I did horribly on them so you would get that scholarship."
"It worked," I said going to sit next to her. "Only, we both had the same idea."
"I don't know whether to laugh or cry."
"Me neither."
She looked at me. "Kyland, I know I'm back, but it's by choice. I can leave if I want to, get a job somewhere else—anywhere I want. You gave me that. You gave me that freedom, that opportunity. You gifted me that. And now, let me gift the same to you. The school will be built in six months and I'll be making good money. I don't need to move into a house. I'll live in my trailer and I'll sacrifice for you like you did for me. I might not be able to pay for a real fancy college, and you'll have to work for your living expenses, but—"
"Ten," I said, bringing my fingers up to her lips. "If there's any chance of us working things out, if," I ran my hand through my hair, feeling exposed and vulnerable, "if there's any chance you can start to forgive me, that we can rebuild what we had, then I want to stay here. I'll work in the mine, or somewhere else maybe. If you—"
Her fingers were suddenly at my lips the same way mine had been at hers a minute earlier.
"I already do forgive you. And I never stopped loving you." She shook her head. "I tried. I tried so hard, but it didn’t work. I love you, Kyland, I always have."
I sucked in a breath. Gratitude. Relief. Love. She left me breathless. She forgave me. She'd never really left. My fighter. This girl. My beautiful girl.
I stood up so fast she squeaked out loud. I scooped her up into my arms as she let out a short, surprised laugh.
"I'm taking you into my room now. And pitifully enough, I don't even have a bed. There's a quilt on the floor and a pile of blankets on top of that. And I feel ashamed and sick that I'm about to bring you in there, but God help me, I can't wait one second longer to get you naked."
She laughed. "Kyland, walk," she ordered. "Walk fast."
She didn't have to ask me twice.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Tenleigh
I was in Kyland's arms. He was taking me to his bed—his bed on the floor. And I didn't care. Not even a little. Although the state of his house was sad and pathetic, and it made me want to cry for how he'd lived all this time, I would happily be with him anywhere. And he had done this for me. Kyland.
