Lady of Light and Shadows
Page 21
"I would like that.”
"Doreh shabeila de. So shall it be." He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it, a tender gesture that made her heart melt. "Come. Let us dance the skies together."
They flew for more than a bell, heading west and north, past Kingswood to the rolling farmlands of central Celieria, landing in a wooded glade near the tranquil, clear waters of the Same River.
Majestic fireoaks cast their cool shadows over the glade, and the long, flowing branches of water-loving Naidja's locks dangled in the gentle current like the water spirit's tresses for which they were named. Pink button daisies grew abundantly by the riverside, their slender white petals surrounding bright pink centers that filled the air with a delicate scent. Rain plucked a bouquet of the wildflowers for Ellysetta, and as she dabbled her toes in the cool water, he surprised her by braiding a dozen of the flowers into a daisy crown and placing it on her head.
"My queen," he declared.
She hunched her shoulders. "Not a very good one, I'm afraid.”
"A warrior is not made in a day. Give yourself time, shei’tani. You will grow into your new role.”
"Maybe. In twenty or thirty years." She toed a smooth river rock. "Assuming, of course, that I haven't single-handedly destroyed every Fey alliance in existence before then. And caused gods only know what harm to all my friends." She flopped back on the grassy bank and stared up at the brilliant blue Celierian sky above.
"Whatever ails Adrial is not your fault, Ellysetta. None of the rest of us suffered any ill effects from your weave save weariness and, for some, a little embarrassment. And the alliance isn't destroyed. King Dorian holds no grudge.”
"That's what-one?-out of two hundred?" She flung an arm over her eyes and groaned. "I knew I shouldn't have gone to the palace last night. Even without that stupid weave, I knew the nobles would be offended by my presence among them. And they were. They resented having me there-and resented you for bringing me. They are peers of the realm, and no matter what you say, no matter what title you grant me, no matter even if you draped me from head to toe in Tairen's Eye crystals, I'm not their equal, nor ever shall be.”
He sat up straight, flinging long swaths of midnight hair over his shoulder. "You are right. You are not their equal. You are my shei’tani. My truemate. And I am the Tairen Soul. By the customs of Celieria, the only man in that room last night who was my social equal was Dorian. The only person who was my true equal was you.”
"How can you say that? I'm a nobody. I'm just a plain, simple woodcarver's daughter.”
Rain laughed wryly. "Ajiana, you are far, far from simple."
"You know what I mean.”
"I do. And you are wrong." He leaned over her and brushed a lock of hair from her face. "Ellysetta, the shei’tanitsa bond does not form between uneven halves. It only forms where there are two evenly matched parts of the same whole.”
She sat up, drawing her legs in and wrapping her arms around them. "Well, that just proves my point. We're as far from being evenly matched as ... as"-he searched for a suitably ridiculous comparison-"a tairen and Love the kitten!”
Rain's lips curved in a faint smile. His lavender eyes, which could at times seem so cold, glowed with warmth. His fingers brushed the smooth skin of her cheek in a soft caress. "You've only just begun to discover your many gifts. Would you berate a child for failing to read when first you set a book before her? Or for failing to walk when first you set her on her feet?”
"I'm not a child.”
"In this you are. No one travels a new path without making an occasional misstep.”
"A misstep? Missteps are little things. Like sewing a poor seam or burning dinner. Last night was a catastrophe. And then I compounded it by what I did to Adrial.”
Rain's eyes grew shadowed and his smile faded. The hand by her cheek dropped away. "Ellysetta, I once scorched the world. Millions died by my hand-including thousands who were my friends and allies. That was a catastrophe. What happened last night was merely an embarrassment.”
She felt the swell of horror and self-revulsion within him, and for just a moment she heard the echoes of the screams that haunted him before he clamped his barriers tight. Every day of his life, he suffered unimaginable guilt for what he'd done in a few irreversible bells of madness. And she had unwittingly compared one humiliating evening to that.
Tears burned in her eyes. Why did everything she said and did lately seem to come out wrong? "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that.” She stared at her tightly clasped hands as they grew blurry and wavered. She could not bear to disappoint him or diminish herself in his eyes, yet at every turn she seemed to do exactly that. "You must think I'm a complete idiot." Her throat closed up, making her voice crack.
"Nei, shei’tani. I could never think that”
His voice was so soft, tender, and full of regret. The barriers she'd maintained all day to keep her emotions in check came crashing down. Tears poured from her eyes in a graceless flood. She covered her face and sobbed helplessly. Rain uttered a small, protesting sound and drew her into his arms, but that only made her tears fall faster.
"Las, shei’tani. Nei avi. Don't cry Ve khoda keet’san." Rain rocked Ellysetta gently and stroked the wild tangle of her hair. Her feelings of inadequacy and despair stabbed him like a thousand digger-thorns, the kind that burrowed deep in a man's flesh and released a painful, toxic venom.
"Doreh shabeila de. So shall it be." He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it, a tender gesture that made her heart melt. "Come. Let us dance the skies together."
They flew for more than a bell, heading west and north, past Kingswood to the rolling farmlands of central Celieria, landing in a wooded glade near the tranquil, clear waters of the Same River.
Majestic fireoaks cast their cool shadows over the glade, and the long, flowing branches of water-loving Naidja's locks dangled in the gentle current like the water spirit's tresses for which they were named. Pink button daisies grew abundantly by the riverside, their slender white petals surrounding bright pink centers that filled the air with a delicate scent. Rain plucked a bouquet of the wildflowers for Ellysetta, and as she dabbled her toes in the cool water, he surprised her by braiding a dozen of the flowers into a daisy crown and placing it on her head.
"My queen," he declared.
She hunched her shoulders. "Not a very good one, I'm afraid.”
"A warrior is not made in a day. Give yourself time, shei’tani. You will grow into your new role.”
"Maybe. In twenty or thirty years." She toed a smooth river rock. "Assuming, of course, that I haven't single-handedly destroyed every Fey alliance in existence before then. And caused gods only know what harm to all my friends." She flopped back on the grassy bank and stared up at the brilliant blue Celierian sky above.
"Whatever ails Adrial is not your fault, Ellysetta. None of the rest of us suffered any ill effects from your weave save weariness and, for some, a little embarrassment. And the alliance isn't destroyed. King Dorian holds no grudge.”
"That's what-one?-out of two hundred?" She flung an arm over her eyes and groaned. "I knew I shouldn't have gone to the palace last night. Even without that stupid weave, I knew the nobles would be offended by my presence among them. And they were. They resented having me there-and resented you for bringing me. They are peers of the realm, and no matter what you say, no matter what title you grant me, no matter even if you draped me from head to toe in Tairen's Eye crystals, I'm not their equal, nor ever shall be.”
He sat up straight, flinging long swaths of midnight hair over his shoulder. "You are right. You are not their equal. You are my shei’tani. My truemate. And I am the Tairen Soul. By the customs of Celieria, the only man in that room last night who was my social equal was Dorian. The only person who was my true equal was you.”
"How can you say that? I'm a nobody. I'm just a plain, simple woodcarver's daughter.”
Rain laughed wryly. "Ajiana, you are far, far from simple."
"You know what I mean.”
"I do. And you are wrong." He leaned over her and brushed a lock of hair from her face. "Ellysetta, the shei’tanitsa bond does not form between uneven halves. It only forms where there are two evenly matched parts of the same whole.”
She sat up, drawing her legs in and wrapping her arms around them. "Well, that just proves my point. We're as far from being evenly matched as ... as"-he searched for a suitably ridiculous comparison-"a tairen and Love the kitten!”
Rain's lips curved in a faint smile. His lavender eyes, which could at times seem so cold, glowed with warmth. His fingers brushed the smooth skin of her cheek in a soft caress. "You've only just begun to discover your many gifts. Would you berate a child for failing to read when first you set a book before her? Or for failing to walk when first you set her on her feet?”
"I'm not a child.”
"In this you are. No one travels a new path without making an occasional misstep.”
"A misstep? Missteps are little things. Like sewing a poor seam or burning dinner. Last night was a catastrophe. And then I compounded it by what I did to Adrial.”
Rain's eyes grew shadowed and his smile faded. The hand by her cheek dropped away. "Ellysetta, I once scorched the world. Millions died by my hand-including thousands who were my friends and allies. That was a catastrophe. What happened last night was merely an embarrassment.”
She felt the swell of horror and self-revulsion within him, and for just a moment she heard the echoes of the screams that haunted him before he clamped his barriers tight. Every day of his life, he suffered unimaginable guilt for what he'd done in a few irreversible bells of madness. And she had unwittingly compared one humiliating evening to that.
Tears burned in her eyes. Why did everything she said and did lately seem to come out wrong? "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that.” She stared at her tightly clasped hands as they grew blurry and wavered. She could not bear to disappoint him or diminish herself in his eyes, yet at every turn she seemed to do exactly that. "You must think I'm a complete idiot." Her throat closed up, making her voice crack.
"Nei, shei’tani. I could never think that”
His voice was so soft, tender, and full of regret. The barriers she'd maintained all day to keep her emotions in check came crashing down. Tears poured from her eyes in a graceless flood. She covered her face and sobbed helplessly. Rain uttered a small, protesting sound and drew her into his arms, but that only made her tears fall faster.
"Las, shei’tani. Nei avi. Don't cry Ve khoda keet’san." Rain rocked Ellysetta gently and stroked the wild tangle of her hair. Her feelings of inadequacy and despair stabbed him like a thousand digger-thorns, the kind that burrowed deep in a man's flesh and released a painful, toxic venom.
