Laid Bare
Page 73
“Even if he’s convicted, I don’t know how much time he’ll serve, Erin. It might not be a lot. I want you to be prepared for that.” Todd’s brow furrowed.
“I know. She’s got an advocate from a local domestic violence advocacy organization who’s been working with her for months now, since before the attack. The woman has been really good about walking Ella through the process.”
“I’m driving you home.” Todd got his stubborn face on and she put her hand on his arm.
“No. I’m fine. Just a bit shaky, but not as bad as I would have thought. This isn’t me. It’s her, and that takes part of the pressure away. That sounds horrible, god.”
He kissed her gently. “That sounds human.”
“Go back to work. I’ll see you in a few hours. We’ll have dinner, everything will be fine.”
He sighed but let her go and she blew him a kiss as she drove away.
The condo was, of course, filled with workers who’d be there another two hours or so. She waved and headed through the plastic sheeting back into the hall and into her work space.
She closed the door and put on her headphones and began to write. Despite this stuff with Ella, Erin had never been more productive with songwriting.
Creatively she was on fire. Not only was she writing songs, but cooking and canning too, and Lorie was teaching her how to knit. It was a rebirth of sorts and Erin loved it. The fear remained, coiled down deep, but the edge of it dulled, and she wondered when it would wisp away like smoke instead of being a lump in her gut.
Ben came home, glad it was after five and the construction people had gone. The quiet was welcome after a day in which he’d dealt with one client issue after another.
The condo was slowly beginning to feel like home. He’d moved in right after they’d all returned from Las Vegas, and aside from a few struggles between him and Todd for time with Erin, things had been smooth. Just then it was a matter of finding his place in their relationship. He’d known Todd pretty much all his life, but with Erin, it was new. He wanted more of her, needed more, and had to work to not be greedy or hurt when he saw the easy way she and Todd had. Although, she gave Todd a rasher of shit on a regular basis. She might fall to her knees for sex, but everywhere else, no one pushed her around. That part was amusing, he had to admit.
He heard her singing as he moved down the hall. Not wanting to disturb her while she worked, he kept on to the master bedroom and changed from his work clothes into a T-shirt and some ratty jeans. He had a room that was his. He often worked there in the evenings or in the early part of the day instead of going straight to their office, but he slept in the master bedroom with Erin curled into his side and Todd bracketing her other side.
As he looked out the windows over the city, he thought about how happy he was. In truth, even when he’d been in his relationship with Caroline and Greg, he’d always felt lonely. Funny, he’d often thought it would alleviate the loneliness, that extra person. It wasn’t as if he’d been ignored or felt left out by the other two, but looking back, he realized he’d never truly invested himself with either of them. He went through the motions, had had some great sex, learned a lot about his desires and how to express them, but he hadn’t really learned about himself and what he needed emotionally.
But something about Erin was different. He connected to her in a way he never had with anyone before. He felt steady, stable and, for want of a better word, understood. Together with her and Todd, he felt like a whole person.
“Hi there.”
He turned to see her in the doorway, looking soft and relaxed in a tank top and yoga pants. He loved those pants of hers. They clung to her ass like they loved it nearly as much as he did.
He opened his arms and she was in them in just a few steps. The weather had gotten cooler and fall was waning, but the condo was nice and warm from a day of afternoon sun, so her body was warm and she smelled of sunshine.
Once he’d touched her, he felt better, wrapping his arms around her and breathing her in.
“Mmm, you feel good. Did I bother you? I heard you working.”
She tiptoed up to kiss him, setting his hormones on fire. “I’m good. I finished a song I’ve been working on for two days. I just e-mailed the sound file to Adrian. You have a message on the machine, by the way.”
He put an arm around her waist and walked out with her to the living room where the answering machine was.
Caroline.
He sighed and turned to Erin, surprised by her facial expression. He reached to touch her, hating that she looked worried. “I’m not going to see her. Not without you and Todd, and probably not at all. I told her about you.”
She looked up at him, and he sat, bringing her along with him, settling her into his lap.
“Are you all right?”
She swallowed. “I think so. I believe you. I mean, look, this is all totally foreign territory. I never expected to love anyone the way I love Todd, to be married. But then you came along. You were unexpected on a whole different and yet so wonderful level.” She touched his lips. “It’s sort of beyond me to try and define it, so I don’t, other than to love you both. I wonder if it’ll be enough for you, but a call from your ex isn’t going to send me over the edge. I’m really okay.”
“Caroline is someone I’ll always care about. She’s a kind person. Good-hearted. But when we were together, while I was happy, I didn’t love her. Not the way I love you. Not the way I love Todd. I was in a nice relationship. I learned a lot about communication and how to work with an extra person in a romantic situation. But when she got her job offer I was never tempted to leave with her. And I haven’t really spoken to Greg, our third, since Caroline moved away.”
“I know. She’s got an advocate from a local domestic violence advocacy organization who’s been working with her for months now, since before the attack. The woman has been really good about walking Ella through the process.”
“I’m driving you home.” Todd got his stubborn face on and she put her hand on his arm.
“No. I’m fine. Just a bit shaky, but not as bad as I would have thought. This isn’t me. It’s her, and that takes part of the pressure away. That sounds horrible, god.”
He kissed her gently. “That sounds human.”
“Go back to work. I’ll see you in a few hours. We’ll have dinner, everything will be fine.”
He sighed but let her go and she blew him a kiss as she drove away.
The condo was, of course, filled with workers who’d be there another two hours or so. She waved and headed through the plastic sheeting back into the hall and into her work space.
She closed the door and put on her headphones and began to write. Despite this stuff with Ella, Erin had never been more productive with songwriting.
Creatively she was on fire. Not only was she writing songs, but cooking and canning too, and Lorie was teaching her how to knit. It was a rebirth of sorts and Erin loved it. The fear remained, coiled down deep, but the edge of it dulled, and she wondered when it would wisp away like smoke instead of being a lump in her gut.
Ben came home, glad it was after five and the construction people had gone. The quiet was welcome after a day in which he’d dealt with one client issue after another.
The condo was slowly beginning to feel like home. He’d moved in right after they’d all returned from Las Vegas, and aside from a few struggles between him and Todd for time with Erin, things had been smooth. Just then it was a matter of finding his place in their relationship. He’d known Todd pretty much all his life, but with Erin, it was new. He wanted more of her, needed more, and had to work to not be greedy or hurt when he saw the easy way she and Todd had. Although, she gave Todd a rasher of shit on a regular basis. She might fall to her knees for sex, but everywhere else, no one pushed her around. That part was amusing, he had to admit.
He heard her singing as he moved down the hall. Not wanting to disturb her while she worked, he kept on to the master bedroom and changed from his work clothes into a T-shirt and some ratty jeans. He had a room that was his. He often worked there in the evenings or in the early part of the day instead of going straight to their office, but he slept in the master bedroom with Erin curled into his side and Todd bracketing her other side.
As he looked out the windows over the city, he thought about how happy he was. In truth, even when he’d been in his relationship with Caroline and Greg, he’d always felt lonely. Funny, he’d often thought it would alleviate the loneliness, that extra person. It wasn’t as if he’d been ignored or felt left out by the other two, but looking back, he realized he’d never truly invested himself with either of them. He went through the motions, had had some great sex, learned a lot about his desires and how to express them, but he hadn’t really learned about himself and what he needed emotionally.
But something about Erin was different. He connected to her in a way he never had with anyone before. He felt steady, stable and, for want of a better word, understood. Together with her and Todd, he felt like a whole person.
“Hi there.”
He turned to see her in the doorway, looking soft and relaxed in a tank top and yoga pants. He loved those pants of hers. They clung to her ass like they loved it nearly as much as he did.
He opened his arms and she was in them in just a few steps. The weather had gotten cooler and fall was waning, but the condo was nice and warm from a day of afternoon sun, so her body was warm and she smelled of sunshine.
Once he’d touched her, he felt better, wrapping his arms around her and breathing her in.
“Mmm, you feel good. Did I bother you? I heard you working.”
She tiptoed up to kiss him, setting his hormones on fire. “I’m good. I finished a song I’ve been working on for two days. I just e-mailed the sound file to Adrian. You have a message on the machine, by the way.”
He put an arm around her waist and walked out with her to the living room where the answering machine was.
Caroline.
He sighed and turned to Erin, surprised by her facial expression. He reached to touch her, hating that she looked worried. “I’m not going to see her. Not without you and Todd, and probably not at all. I told her about you.”
She looked up at him, and he sat, bringing her along with him, settling her into his lap.
“Are you all right?”
She swallowed. “I think so. I believe you. I mean, look, this is all totally foreign territory. I never expected to love anyone the way I love Todd, to be married. But then you came along. You were unexpected on a whole different and yet so wonderful level.” She touched his lips. “It’s sort of beyond me to try and define it, so I don’t, other than to love you both. I wonder if it’ll be enough for you, but a call from your ex isn’t going to send me over the edge. I’m really okay.”
“Caroline is someone I’ll always care about. She’s a kind person. Good-hearted. But when we were together, while I was happy, I didn’t love her. Not the way I love you. Not the way I love Todd. I was in a nice relationship. I learned a lot about communication and how to work with an extra person in a romantic situation. But when she got her job offer I was never tempted to leave with her. And I haven’t really spoken to Greg, our third, since Caroline moved away.”
