Life After Taylah
Page 16
He crosses his arms. “I need money.”
“Shit, Li,” I sigh. “What have you done now?”
He looks offended. “Nothing, I’m just short on cash and I need to get some food and things.”
He’s lying; I know he’s lying, but to test it out I say, “Tell me what you need and I’ll buy it for you.”
He flinches. “Just give me the cash. I don’t have time for your mind games.”
“If you need it for food, you’ll let me order it,” I say, crossing my arms and giving him a hard stare.
“For fuck’s sake, Avery. Why do you have to make things hard? You’re just like him!”
“Excuse me?” I snap. “I’m nothing like him. I’ve been busting my ass trying to help you for years now, Li, and you won’t let me. You’re so wrapped up in your emotional bullshit that you have fucked up your own life.” I scream the end part, and I hate that he’s gotten me so angry, that he’s torn this kind of emotion from me.
“I never asked you to take care of me,” he roars. “I don’t fuckin’ care if you do or you don’t.”
“Then why are you here asking for money?” I snarl.
He flinches. “You know what? Fuck you, Avery. Fuck you and fuck him. You got no idea what it’s like being the forgotten son. He gives you everything you want.”
“No he doesn’t,” I say, my voice trembling. “He doesn’t give me love, or compassion. The man can’t even have a conversation with me. I never made you the forgotten son, Liam, so I don’t know why you’re so angry with me. All I’ve done for you is try and help you. I give you money and food. I call you all the time. I check on you and I try to show you I care, but you won’t let me. You’re irritated with me and I don’t know why. If you want to hate someone, hate him for shutting down, but don’t hate me. I miss her too. I mourn her just as much as you do. I wonder . . .”
“She fucked up our lives by disappearing!” he suddenly bellows.
“Liam,” I whisper in a shocked tone. “She didn’t leave us.”
“How do you fucking know that? I’ve heard Dad saying she was seeing another man. I’ve fucking heard him saying that she was thinking of running away with him.”
This is news to me, and news that isn’t taken well. My mother was my sunshine, my happy place, my best friend and my hero. She wouldn’t abandon her family for someone else. He’s wrong about that; he’s just overheard Dad clutching at straws, trying to find a reason, trying to find someone to blame.
“She would have never just left us,” I say in a small, broken voice.
“You don’t know that,” he barks, storming to the front door. “Stop living with your head in the fucking sand, Avery. The fact is, she’s gone, and she’s never fucking coming back. My father is a cunt, and you’re too good for the rest of the world. I’m done with you all. If you won’t help me, then you’re no longer my family.”
With this, he steps out the door and slams it closed, leaving me speechless and completely heartbroken. I’ve tried so hard over the years to show Liam that I care but he’s not accepted it. He closed down the day my mother left and he didn’t look back. Between him and my father, I was the only rock, and yet neither of them wanted to let me in. She broke us when she went missing—intentionally or not.
Now we’re seeing what it’s like to live with life after Taylah.
CHAPTER 6
AVERY
I call the only person I can think of, the only person who can even begin to understand. He’s at my house in a matter of fifteen minutes, walking through my front door, sun-bleached hair messy and olive skin still shining from the last application of oil. He’s wearing the surfer version of a wife-beater, showing me his built, bronze arms. He’s got on a pair of board-shorts: they’re blue and white, and they hang down to his knees.
Kelly walks right over to me, and his eyes narrow. I’m sitting on the kitchen counter, eating a tub of Ben & Jerry’s Cookies and Cream, trying to drown my emotions. He takes the carton from my hand, plucks the spoon from my mouth and digs it in, taking a mouthful of his own before returning it to the freezer.
“What happened?” he asks, lifting himself onto the counter beside me.
“Liam stopped by.”
He sighs. “Shit.”
“Something like that. He wanted money again, Kel.”
“Did you give it to him?”
“What do you think?” I whisper. “He didn’t storm out of here disowning me for no reason.”
“You did the right thing,” he says carefully.
I turn to him. “Did I? Because it doesn’t feel that way. I’m the only family he’s got and I turned him away. What if he gets hurt, Kel?”
He shakes his head. “He’s not in that kind of trouble. He’s just after drug money.”
“And now I haven’t given it to him. What will he turn to, to get it?”
He takes my hand, tugging me closer. “Avery, are you going to be happy giving your brother money to support his drug habit just so he won’t go elsewhere and maybe get himself into trouble?”
“No,” I murmur.
“He’s got a problem, a problem only he can deal with. You’re not his mother, Avery: you’re his sister. You have to stop treating him like he’s your child.”
“Shit, Li,” I sigh. “What have you done now?”
He looks offended. “Nothing, I’m just short on cash and I need to get some food and things.”
He’s lying; I know he’s lying, but to test it out I say, “Tell me what you need and I’ll buy it for you.”
He flinches. “Just give me the cash. I don’t have time for your mind games.”
“If you need it for food, you’ll let me order it,” I say, crossing my arms and giving him a hard stare.
“For fuck’s sake, Avery. Why do you have to make things hard? You’re just like him!”
“Excuse me?” I snap. “I’m nothing like him. I’ve been busting my ass trying to help you for years now, Li, and you won’t let me. You’re so wrapped up in your emotional bullshit that you have fucked up your own life.” I scream the end part, and I hate that he’s gotten me so angry, that he’s torn this kind of emotion from me.
“I never asked you to take care of me,” he roars. “I don’t fuckin’ care if you do or you don’t.”
“Then why are you here asking for money?” I snarl.
He flinches. “You know what? Fuck you, Avery. Fuck you and fuck him. You got no idea what it’s like being the forgotten son. He gives you everything you want.”
“No he doesn’t,” I say, my voice trembling. “He doesn’t give me love, or compassion. The man can’t even have a conversation with me. I never made you the forgotten son, Liam, so I don’t know why you’re so angry with me. All I’ve done for you is try and help you. I give you money and food. I call you all the time. I check on you and I try to show you I care, but you won’t let me. You’re irritated with me and I don’t know why. If you want to hate someone, hate him for shutting down, but don’t hate me. I miss her too. I mourn her just as much as you do. I wonder . . .”
“She fucked up our lives by disappearing!” he suddenly bellows.
“Liam,” I whisper in a shocked tone. “She didn’t leave us.”
“How do you fucking know that? I’ve heard Dad saying she was seeing another man. I’ve fucking heard him saying that she was thinking of running away with him.”
This is news to me, and news that isn’t taken well. My mother was my sunshine, my happy place, my best friend and my hero. She wouldn’t abandon her family for someone else. He’s wrong about that; he’s just overheard Dad clutching at straws, trying to find a reason, trying to find someone to blame.
“She would have never just left us,” I say in a small, broken voice.
“You don’t know that,” he barks, storming to the front door. “Stop living with your head in the fucking sand, Avery. The fact is, she’s gone, and she’s never fucking coming back. My father is a cunt, and you’re too good for the rest of the world. I’m done with you all. If you won’t help me, then you’re no longer my family.”
With this, he steps out the door and slams it closed, leaving me speechless and completely heartbroken. I’ve tried so hard over the years to show Liam that I care but he’s not accepted it. He closed down the day my mother left and he didn’t look back. Between him and my father, I was the only rock, and yet neither of them wanted to let me in. She broke us when she went missing—intentionally or not.
Now we’re seeing what it’s like to live with life after Taylah.
CHAPTER 6
AVERY
I call the only person I can think of, the only person who can even begin to understand. He’s at my house in a matter of fifteen minutes, walking through my front door, sun-bleached hair messy and olive skin still shining from the last application of oil. He’s wearing the surfer version of a wife-beater, showing me his built, bronze arms. He’s got on a pair of board-shorts: they’re blue and white, and they hang down to his knees.
Kelly walks right over to me, and his eyes narrow. I’m sitting on the kitchen counter, eating a tub of Ben & Jerry’s Cookies and Cream, trying to drown my emotions. He takes the carton from my hand, plucks the spoon from my mouth and digs it in, taking a mouthful of his own before returning it to the freezer.
“What happened?” he asks, lifting himself onto the counter beside me.
“Liam stopped by.”
He sighs. “Shit.”
“Something like that. He wanted money again, Kel.”
“Did you give it to him?”
“What do you think?” I whisper. “He didn’t storm out of here disowning me for no reason.”
“You did the right thing,” he says carefully.
I turn to him. “Did I? Because it doesn’t feel that way. I’m the only family he’s got and I turned him away. What if he gets hurt, Kel?”
He shakes his head. “He’s not in that kind of trouble. He’s just after drug money.”
“And now I haven’t given it to him. What will he turn to, to get it?”
He takes my hand, tugging me closer. “Avery, are you going to be happy giving your brother money to support his drug habit just so he won’t go elsewhere and maybe get himself into trouble?”
“No,” I murmur.
“He’s got a problem, a problem only he can deal with. You’re not his mother, Avery: you’re his sister. You have to stop treating him like he’s your child.”
