Life After Taylah
Page 54
Now he looks offended. “What?”
“You can’t love me,” I cry. “You can’t . . . you can’t . . . you can’t . . .”
I put my hands on either side of my face, shaking my head from side to side.
“Why can’t I?” he barks. “Why can’t I, Avery? Tell me? Did you honestly think this was just a quick fuck? That I was here simply to get my rocks off? Shit, what kind of man do you think I am?”
“I can’t say no to you,” I scream, charging towards him and shoving his chest, “because I can’t breathe without you. This isn’t meant to be how my first love goes; it isn’t meant to be how it feels. I can’t love you, Nate, because I can never have you.”
He steps forward, cupping my cheeks. “You can’t change how this feels, Dancer.”
“It hurts,” I cry, trembling. “It fucking hurts.”
He pulls me into his chest and presses my cheek to his shirt. I soak that shirt with tears, desperate tears filled with desperate pain. I don’t want to feel like this.
“I know it’s not how it’s meant to feel, but I’m doin’ my best. I’ll try, Dancer. I’ll try to be everything you need.”
“You can’t leave her. You can’t and I know you can’t.”
“Not right now I can’t, because she’ll end up drunk, killing herself the minute I do. I have to get her help, then I have every intention of stepping away.”
“You’re just saying that,” I sob. “I know how this works.”
“You don’t know how it fucking works,” he says, reaching down and lifting my chin. “You don’t know how this feels.”
“I do, Nate,” I croak. “I know, because I feel it too.”
He strokes my bottom lip. “I don’t want this to have to be this way. I want to wake up with you and go to sleep with you. I want to show you off, and I don’t want this to be a secret. I should have never started something until I dealt with my wife, but life doesn’t always go how it’s meant to. I’m selfish, I know that—but I don’t want to stay away from you, Avery. I’m falling for you, in a way I’ve never fallen before. Don’t walk away from me. You’re the only sunshine I have left.”
Oh, God.
I sob loudly and reach up, taking his face between my palms. “I am falling for you too.”
He leans down and kisses me, furious and desperate. Our tongues dance and our hands feverishly rip at each other’s clothes. I have his jacket off him and my hands up his tight, black shirt in seconds. He’s got my dress up and my panties aside before I get to his jeans. His fingers find my clit and he begins to stroke with a gentle pressure that sends me over the edge.
I wrap my fingers around his biceps, holding myself up as he slides two fingers inside me, thrusting desperately, taking me to an orgasm filled with so much emotion.
Then we’re on the floor, our limbs tangled, our mouths crushing together and his cock driving deep inside me. He fucks me hard and fast, sliding our bodies across the floor with each pounding jerk of his hips.
I come first, screaming out his name and sliding my nails down his back. This spurs him on and he comes seconds later, filling me, pumping his hot seed into my pussy. Then we slump down, panting against each other, completely exhausted. He presses his lips to mine and kisses me softly, running a hand through my hair.
“Shit,” he whispers. “That was wild.”
“That was fucking.”
He smooths my hair off my forehead and stares down at me. “Come away with me. Let me make love to you.”
My heart picks up pace and my eyes widen. “Come away?”
“I’m taking Macy to my parents’ tonight; it’s eight hours away. Come with me.”
“I can’t come to your parents’,” I whisper.
“I’m only staying the night, then I’m booking a hotel because I have a competition there. I’m taking Macy to visit my mom. Lena is okay with that because it means she gets a break to drink more.”
“Is that what was wrong?” I ask.
“She went out with a heap of friends, leaving Macy at one of their houses. She got drunk and they drove them home. Her friends are as selfish as her. They didn’t call me or even let me know Macy was left alone with a drunken woman. When I got home, she was passed out on the couch. I called an ambulance and they took her to the hospital and pumped her stomach. When she woke I had it out with her. I told her Macy needs to go visit my mom until she gets her shit together. She agreed.”
“So you’re leaving her to just get drunk alone?”
He shakes his head. “Lena is making her own choices, Avery. She’s not an alcoholic; she only drinks certain days, but she’s slowly becoming one. I can’t change that for her. I made one comment about leaving and she broke down. I’m not in love with my wife anymore, Avery, but I can’t leave when shit is like this. I have to make sure Macy is safe and that she can’t be taken away from me, and then I have to make sure Lena won’t kill herself. I might not love her, but I still care.”
“I know you do,” I whisper.
“Then please try to understand it’s not forever. I won’t give up on you, Avery. I know that’s what so many men in this situation say but I won’t give up.”
My heart aches. A huge part of me wants to say no, but the bigger part, the part consumed by Nate, isn’t going to let me walk away. I love him. It might not be strong love, or powerful love, but it’s the beginning of something that will change my world. I can’t let that go; I have to hang onto that tiny hope that he’ll leave, that he will do what he says he’s going to do and leave his wife.
“You can’t love me,” I cry. “You can’t . . . you can’t . . . you can’t . . .”
I put my hands on either side of my face, shaking my head from side to side.
“Why can’t I?” he barks. “Why can’t I, Avery? Tell me? Did you honestly think this was just a quick fuck? That I was here simply to get my rocks off? Shit, what kind of man do you think I am?”
“I can’t say no to you,” I scream, charging towards him and shoving his chest, “because I can’t breathe without you. This isn’t meant to be how my first love goes; it isn’t meant to be how it feels. I can’t love you, Nate, because I can never have you.”
He steps forward, cupping my cheeks. “You can’t change how this feels, Dancer.”
“It hurts,” I cry, trembling. “It fucking hurts.”
He pulls me into his chest and presses my cheek to his shirt. I soak that shirt with tears, desperate tears filled with desperate pain. I don’t want to feel like this.
“I know it’s not how it’s meant to feel, but I’m doin’ my best. I’ll try, Dancer. I’ll try to be everything you need.”
“You can’t leave her. You can’t and I know you can’t.”
“Not right now I can’t, because she’ll end up drunk, killing herself the minute I do. I have to get her help, then I have every intention of stepping away.”
“You’re just saying that,” I sob. “I know how this works.”
“You don’t know how it fucking works,” he says, reaching down and lifting my chin. “You don’t know how this feels.”
“I do, Nate,” I croak. “I know, because I feel it too.”
He strokes my bottom lip. “I don’t want this to have to be this way. I want to wake up with you and go to sleep with you. I want to show you off, and I don’t want this to be a secret. I should have never started something until I dealt with my wife, but life doesn’t always go how it’s meant to. I’m selfish, I know that—but I don’t want to stay away from you, Avery. I’m falling for you, in a way I’ve never fallen before. Don’t walk away from me. You’re the only sunshine I have left.”
Oh, God.
I sob loudly and reach up, taking his face between my palms. “I am falling for you too.”
He leans down and kisses me, furious and desperate. Our tongues dance and our hands feverishly rip at each other’s clothes. I have his jacket off him and my hands up his tight, black shirt in seconds. He’s got my dress up and my panties aside before I get to his jeans. His fingers find my clit and he begins to stroke with a gentle pressure that sends me over the edge.
I wrap my fingers around his biceps, holding myself up as he slides two fingers inside me, thrusting desperately, taking me to an orgasm filled with so much emotion.
Then we’re on the floor, our limbs tangled, our mouths crushing together and his cock driving deep inside me. He fucks me hard and fast, sliding our bodies across the floor with each pounding jerk of his hips.
I come first, screaming out his name and sliding my nails down his back. This spurs him on and he comes seconds later, filling me, pumping his hot seed into my pussy. Then we slump down, panting against each other, completely exhausted. He presses his lips to mine and kisses me softly, running a hand through my hair.
“Shit,” he whispers. “That was wild.”
“That was fucking.”
He smooths my hair off my forehead and stares down at me. “Come away with me. Let me make love to you.”
My heart picks up pace and my eyes widen. “Come away?”
“I’m taking Macy to my parents’ tonight; it’s eight hours away. Come with me.”
“I can’t come to your parents’,” I whisper.
“I’m only staying the night, then I’m booking a hotel because I have a competition there. I’m taking Macy to visit my mom. Lena is okay with that because it means she gets a break to drink more.”
“Is that what was wrong?” I ask.
“She went out with a heap of friends, leaving Macy at one of their houses. She got drunk and they drove them home. Her friends are as selfish as her. They didn’t call me or even let me know Macy was left alone with a drunken woman. When I got home, she was passed out on the couch. I called an ambulance and they took her to the hospital and pumped her stomach. When she woke I had it out with her. I told her Macy needs to go visit my mom until she gets her shit together. She agreed.”
“So you’re leaving her to just get drunk alone?”
He shakes his head. “Lena is making her own choices, Avery. She’s not an alcoholic; she only drinks certain days, but she’s slowly becoming one. I can’t change that for her. I made one comment about leaving and she broke down. I’m not in love with my wife anymore, Avery, but I can’t leave when shit is like this. I have to make sure Macy is safe and that she can’t be taken away from me, and then I have to make sure Lena won’t kill herself. I might not love her, but I still care.”
“I know you do,” I whisper.
“Then please try to understand it’s not forever. I won’t give up on you, Avery. I know that’s what so many men in this situation say but I won’t give up.”
My heart aches. A huge part of me wants to say no, but the bigger part, the part consumed by Nate, isn’t going to let me walk away. I love him. It might not be strong love, or powerful love, but it’s the beginning of something that will change my world. I can’t let that go; I have to hang onto that tiny hope that he’ll leave, that he will do what he says he’s going to do and leave his wife.
