Listen to Your Heart
Page 46
“Do you ever think that these parking lot rides are one loose bolt away from falling apart?” he asked, patting a metal support beam.
“Yes, actually. That is my first thought, followed by fear the rest of the ride.”
He swung his feet as we moved forward again.
When we stopped at the very top, he leaned forward and looked around. I watched him locate Alana and Diego, who were throwing darts at balloons.
“How much will you give me if I can hit Diego with my gum from up here?”
“Gross,” I said. “Don’t throw your gum.”
“I wasn’t going to throw it. I was going to spit it.”
I made a face. “Nice.”
“Alana would’ve laughed at that,” he said.
“And?”
“You don’t find me funny.”
“Sometimes you are funny.”
Frank’s arm was still around me, and with one of his fingers, he began drawing patterns on my arm.
I thought about telling him to stop. Oh no. Maybe he did like me. Maybe I was leading him on. But as I watched Alana and Diego down below, seeing how much fun they were having, I kept my mouth shut.
After several more rotations on the Ferris wheel, we reached solid ground again. “The bolt hung on for us,” I said as Frank and I walked away from the ride.
“We are survivors for sure,” he said.
“My turn!” Alana said, running over to us. “I don’t want to wait in line either, so I’m stealing Frank for a second.” She grabbed his hand and dragged him back the way we’d come.
“You didn’t want to ride the Ferris wheel?” I asked Diego when he and I were left standing there.
“I do not have front of the line privileges.”
“The front of the line is overrated.”
“It’s really not,” he said, and I laughed. He gestured to the row of games behind us. “Can I challenge you to a carnival game?”
I checked my phone. “Yes, I have time.” I pointed to the booth that was called Gone Fishing. Plastic fish went around a track, and the goal was to cast a magnet attached to a fishing line and catch a fish with its mouth open. “I believe you promised to take me fishing once.”
“Did I?” he asked as we walked over.
“No, but you should’ve.”
He chuckled. “Yes, I should’ve.”
We were each handed a pole when we arrived.
“Okay, master, show me the ways,” I said.
“You do realize this is nothing like—”
“Shhhh. Let me live in my delusion.”
“Okay. It’s all in the wrist.” He stepped back from the counter and demonstrated how to cast. I followed his example. “Now, I will catch a fish,” he said.
He did not catch a fish. His magnet bounced off a closed mouth and shot back toward the counter.
“Wow. That was impressive. I’m beginning to see a pattern here with you and fishing.”
He narrowed his eyes at me, and I laughed and pushed him aside. “Let me show you how it’s done.” I watched the fish along the track and timed their movements. Then I cast my line and much to my own surprise, because I hadn’t actually figured out a pattern, my magnet sailed directly into the mouth of a green fish. I threw my hands in the air with a cheer.
“You did not just do that,” Diego said.
“I totally did. I beat the fisher!”
He laughed. “You are humble in victory, aren’t you?”
The operator handed me a small stuffed fish, and we handed back our poles.
“Turns out there are plenty of fish in the sea,” I said, showing Diego my toy. “Who knew I just had to literally catch one?”
He bumped my shoulder with his. “You’re a dork.”
“Maybe I should teach you some techniques for next time you go out fishing. If you come by the marina, I’ll give you a lesson. I have actually fished before, you know. When I was a kid. Apparently it’s all stored up in my muscle memory.”
He shook his head but his lips were curved up into a smile he couldn’t contain. Then he stopped at a food cart and bought a stick of pink cotton candy. I snagged a piece of the puffy sugar and let it melt in my mouth.
“Now here’s something I need to learn to make,” I said as we kept walking. “You think there is some cotton candy chef out there somewhere who can teach me?”
“I’m sure.”
“Maybe when you go on your world food travels, you can send me a postcard from wherever you are when you find this person.”
Diego tilted his head to one side. “You know, I was thinking about my impractical dream the other day.”
“You can leave out the word impractical when you’re with me if you want.”
He paused for a moment, met my eyes, then nodded. “Thank you.”
“What about the dream?” I asked.
We had reached the end of the line of games and were now at the fence at the edge of the parking lot that surrounded the baseball field. He leaned up against it. “Before my grandma died, she’d want to spend time with me in the kitchen and I’d be too busy or just had no desire. I mean, I obviously spent some time there, learning, but not nearly enough. I thought I had all the time in the world.”
“Until you didn’t.”
“Exactly. And now, I feel …”
“Guilty?”
“Yes. Like I should’ve done more, learned more, soaked it all up while I had the chance. Maybe this is where this dream of mine comes from. This need to somehow replace the knowledge she would’ve given me.”
“Guilt isn’t necessarily a great reason to do something.”
“Look at you with your expert advice again.”
He’d just needed someone to listen, and I’d felt the need to put my opinion into it. “I’m sorry.”
“What? No, don’t be. I appreciate it.”
“But guilt isn’t the only reason, right? I mean, you do love it, too.”
“Absolutely.”
We started walking back the other way, slowly. “It’s not like you have to decide your entire future right now. What’s the rush?” I said.
“I’ve been told before I need to have patience.”
My eyes shot to the ground, unable to meet his. I’d told him that on the podcast. Did he know that I knew? Was he trying to give me a hint that he was the caller?
“Right …” I said. I needed to tell him. What kind of friend was I if I couldn’t tell him that I knew he’d been calling in? “About that …”
I glanced up at the Ferris wheel but couldn’t see Frank or Alana. Maybe they were at the very top, which I couldn’t see … Oh, wait, it was coming around now and, yes, those were Alana’s green Vans and blue tank top and … I gasped. As the Ferris wheel rounded the bend, I could see that Alana’s lips were very much attached to Frank’s. Not just a small peck but a full-on make-out session.
My head whipped back around to Diego, but he was looking at me, his brows furrowed, probably wondering why I gasped. It felt like everything had turned into slow motion because I could see Diego’s eyes shift, moving to look at what had caused my reaction. I grabbed his hand and tugged him around, pulling him in the opposite direction.
“Let’s play another game!”
Why had I done that? I should’ve let him see. Alana was the one who just kissed Frank. She kissed Frank! What was she thinking? Maybe that should’ve made me happy, but it only made me angry. This was going to hurt Diego. He liked her and she was going to hurt him.
“Yes, actually. That is my first thought, followed by fear the rest of the ride.”
He swung his feet as we moved forward again.
When we stopped at the very top, he leaned forward and looked around. I watched him locate Alana and Diego, who were throwing darts at balloons.
“How much will you give me if I can hit Diego with my gum from up here?”
“Gross,” I said. “Don’t throw your gum.”
“I wasn’t going to throw it. I was going to spit it.”
I made a face. “Nice.”
“Alana would’ve laughed at that,” he said.
“And?”
“You don’t find me funny.”
“Sometimes you are funny.”
Frank’s arm was still around me, and with one of his fingers, he began drawing patterns on my arm.
I thought about telling him to stop. Oh no. Maybe he did like me. Maybe I was leading him on. But as I watched Alana and Diego down below, seeing how much fun they were having, I kept my mouth shut.
After several more rotations on the Ferris wheel, we reached solid ground again. “The bolt hung on for us,” I said as Frank and I walked away from the ride.
“We are survivors for sure,” he said.
“My turn!” Alana said, running over to us. “I don’t want to wait in line either, so I’m stealing Frank for a second.” She grabbed his hand and dragged him back the way we’d come.
“You didn’t want to ride the Ferris wheel?” I asked Diego when he and I were left standing there.
“I do not have front of the line privileges.”
“The front of the line is overrated.”
“It’s really not,” he said, and I laughed. He gestured to the row of games behind us. “Can I challenge you to a carnival game?”
I checked my phone. “Yes, I have time.” I pointed to the booth that was called Gone Fishing. Plastic fish went around a track, and the goal was to cast a magnet attached to a fishing line and catch a fish with its mouth open. “I believe you promised to take me fishing once.”
“Did I?” he asked as we walked over.
“No, but you should’ve.”
He chuckled. “Yes, I should’ve.”
We were each handed a pole when we arrived.
“Okay, master, show me the ways,” I said.
“You do realize this is nothing like—”
“Shhhh. Let me live in my delusion.”
“Okay. It’s all in the wrist.” He stepped back from the counter and demonstrated how to cast. I followed his example. “Now, I will catch a fish,” he said.
He did not catch a fish. His magnet bounced off a closed mouth and shot back toward the counter.
“Wow. That was impressive. I’m beginning to see a pattern here with you and fishing.”
He narrowed his eyes at me, and I laughed and pushed him aside. “Let me show you how it’s done.” I watched the fish along the track and timed their movements. Then I cast my line and much to my own surprise, because I hadn’t actually figured out a pattern, my magnet sailed directly into the mouth of a green fish. I threw my hands in the air with a cheer.
“You did not just do that,” Diego said.
“I totally did. I beat the fisher!”
He laughed. “You are humble in victory, aren’t you?”
The operator handed me a small stuffed fish, and we handed back our poles.
“Turns out there are plenty of fish in the sea,” I said, showing Diego my toy. “Who knew I just had to literally catch one?”
He bumped my shoulder with his. “You’re a dork.”
“Maybe I should teach you some techniques for next time you go out fishing. If you come by the marina, I’ll give you a lesson. I have actually fished before, you know. When I was a kid. Apparently it’s all stored up in my muscle memory.”
He shook his head but his lips were curved up into a smile he couldn’t contain. Then he stopped at a food cart and bought a stick of pink cotton candy. I snagged a piece of the puffy sugar and let it melt in my mouth.
“Now here’s something I need to learn to make,” I said as we kept walking. “You think there is some cotton candy chef out there somewhere who can teach me?”
“I’m sure.”
“Maybe when you go on your world food travels, you can send me a postcard from wherever you are when you find this person.”
Diego tilted his head to one side. “You know, I was thinking about my impractical dream the other day.”
“You can leave out the word impractical when you’re with me if you want.”
He paused for a moment, met my eyes, then nodded. “Thank you.”
“What about the dream?” I asked.
We had reached the end of the line of games and were now at the fence at the edge of the parking lot that surrounded the baseball field. He leaned up against it. “Before my grandma died, she’d want to spend time with me in the kitchen and I’d be too busy or just had no desire. I mean, I obviously spent some time there, learning, but not nearly enough. I thought I had all the time in the world.”
“Until you didn’t.”
“Exactly. And now, I feel …”
“Guilty?”
“Yes. Like I should’ve done more, learned more, soaked it all up while I had the chance. Maybe this is where this dream of mine comes from. This need to somehow replace the knowledge she would’ve given me.”
“Guilt isn’t necessarily a great reason to do something.”
“Look at you with your expert advice again.”
He’d just needed someone to listen, and I’d felt the need to put my opinion into it. “I’m sorry.”
“What? No, don’t be. I appreciate it.”
“But guilt isn’t the only reason, right? I mean, you do love it, too.”
“Absolutely.”
We started walking back the other way, slowly. “It’s not like you have to decide your entire future right now. What’s the rush?” I said.
“I’ve been told before I need to have patience.”
My eyes shot to the ground, unable to meet his. I’d told him that on the podcast. Did he know that I knew? Was he trying to give me a hint that he was the caller?
“Right …” I said. I needed to tell him. What kind of friend was I if I couldn’t tell him that I knew he’d been calling in? “About that …”
I glanced up at the Ferris wheel but couldn’t see Frank or Alana. Maybe they were at the very top, which I couldn’t see … Oh, wait, it was coming around now and, yes, those were Alana’s green Vans and blue tank top and … I gasped. As the Ferris wheel rounded the bend, I could see that Alana’s lips were very much attached to Frank’s. Not just a small peck but a full-on make-out session.
My head whipped back around to Diego, but he was looking at me, his brows furrowed, probably wondering why I gasped. It felt like everything had turned into slow motion because I could see Diego’s eyes shift, moving to look at what had caused my reaction. I grabbed his hand and tugged him around, pulling him in the opposite direction.
“Let’s play another game!”
Why had I done that? I should’ve let him see. Alana was the one who just kissed Frank. She kissed Frank! What was she thinking? Maybe that should’ve made me happy, but it only made me angry. This was going to hurt Diego. He liked her and she was going to hurt him.
