Lure of Oblivion
Page 69
“Who says your pack would want me anyway? Your Alpha male didn’t seem too enamored of me.”
“They’ll welcome you because you’re mine. The females like you a lot, especially Shaya. Stop looking for excuses and just agree.” His wolf growled when she backed up a step and bowed her head, eyes to the floor. Zander didn’t like it either, but he understood that she just needed that moment to think, needed that little bit of space. So he held himself still, waiting.
Finally, Gwen raised her gaze to his. “You have to be positive—positive—that this is what you want.”
“I am absofuckinglutely positive.”
She let out a long breath. “I need to speak with Yvonne and Marlon about it first. I’m not saying I won’t act without their approval. I just want to talk with them.”
“You’re stalling.”
“Why does that make you smile?”
He crossed to her and cupped her chin. “Because if you’re stalling, you’re scared. And I’ve come to learn that the only thing that really scares you is happiness. The idea of saying yes to me would make you so happy that you’re afraid to risk it.”
Gwen narrowed her eyes at the smugness in his voice. “I preferred it when you were moody.” He just shrugged.
“You know, I was thinking . . .”
“What?”
She shook her head. “Never mind.”
“What were you going to say?”
She sniffed. “It’s nothing, really.”
Zander ground his teeth. “Tell me.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Will you just fucking tell me,” he clipped. “I can’t stand it when you start a sentence and don’t finish it.”
Bristling at his tone, Gwen lifted a brow. “Yeah? You know what that sounds like? Your problem, not mine.”
Growling, he fisted her shirt, pulled her close, and gave her a hard kiss. “No one gets my blood boiling like you do.”
“Aw, that’s such a nice thing to say.”
He just shook his head.
With nothing to do and nowhere to go, the day was a fairly boring one for Gwen. But having so much unoccupied time gave her the chance to think about everything Zander had said, to realize just how much she wanted to reach for what he was offering, to concede that, yes, she was stalling. However, she really did want to talk to her family about it before making an informed decision.
So, later that evening when the Mercury wolves went on their nightly patrol, she settled at the kitchen table with Yvonne and Marlon. As they drank coffee, Gwen engaged them in a little chitchat, not wanting to just blurt it out. Surprising her, Yvonne mentioned the wolves first.
“I’ve gotten used to having Ally and the boys around,” she said. “It’ll be strange when they’re gone.”
Biting the bullet, Gwen confessed, “Zander wants me to leave with him.”
Yvonne didn’t seem the least bit shocked or even disappointed. “I thought he might.”
“What do you want?” asked Marlon, who also didn’t look surprised.
“There isn’t an easy answer to that question.” Gwen cradled her hot mug in her hands. “Leaving with Zander would mean leaving here.” She sliced her gaze to Yvonne. “You’d only have Marlon to help you with this place.”
Yvonne set down her cup. “I’m actually thinking of selling it.”
Gwen blinked. “You serious?” She hadn’t seen that coming at all.
Yvonne glanced around. “I’ve run this place for a long time. I’ve loved every minute of it. But I’m tired. And not all the memories here are good ones. I’ve been looking at houses online. I saw this gorgeous little house by a lake. There’s room for you and Marlon there if you want it, though the rooms are a lot smaller than the ones here. And it has plenty of land so that I can build a cabin where Donnie can grow old. You’re not mad at me, are you?”
Marlon’s brow creased. “Why would we be mad?”
“This is your home.”
“Dylan asked me to move in with him,” Marlon admitted. “I’m not ready just yet, but one of the reasons I held back was that I didn’t want to leave you.”
Yvonne huffed. “I’m not an invalid.”
“No,” allowed Gwen, “but this place isn’t something you could run on your own.”
“Don’t worry about me.” Yvonne leaned her elbows on the table. “I never intended to spend the rest of my days here. You two need to live your own lives.”
Marlon shifted in his seat. “It would feel like I was abandoning you.”
Face softening, Yvonne put a hand on his arm. “You know how it feels to be abandoned, and you don’t want to repay me for giving you a home by leaving me. I understand, but that’s a load of crap. Fleeing the nest is a normal step in life. And I’m sorry to say this, kids, but you’re murder on my sex life. You scare away every guy who shows any interest in me. I know you do it to protect me, but . . .”
“A girl’s gotta eat,” Gwen finished.
Yvonne laughed. “Exactly. If you’re not ready to move out, fine. But don’t stay for me. You have no idea how happy it will make me to see you taking such a natural step in life. It means that I didn’t screw you up when I married husband number two.”
“We prefer to call him Asshole,” said Marlon.
“An apt description.” Yvonne sighed. “Zander’s good for you, Gwen.”
Yeah, but . . . “A relationship with a shifter would be far from simple.”
“Sweetie, no relationship is simple. They’re what you make of them.”
“But it’s not like I could leave if things didn’t work out. Zander and I would have to mate. You can’t escape a mating bond.”
Yvonne looked at her like she was crazy. “Why would you want to escape it? He adores you. Protects you. Looks at you like you’re some kind of gift to him.”
Marlon nodded. “He’s good to you. Good for you. I think if you don’t leave with him, you’ll always regret it.”
And that was what made up Gwen’s mind. She would regret it if she said no. She didn’t want to live with regrets. She also didn’t want to live a life that didn’t have him in it.
“They’ll welcome you because you’re mine. The females like you a lot, especially Shaya. Stop looking for excuses and just agree.” His wolf growled when she backed up a step and bowed her head, eyes to the floor. Zander didn’t like it either, but he understood that she just needed that moment to think, needed that little bit of space. So he held himself still, waiting.
Finally, Gwen raised her gaze to his. “You have to be positive—positive—that this is what you want.”
“I am absofuckinglutely positive.”
She let out a long breath. “I need to speak with Yvonne and Marlon about it first. I’m not saying I won’t act without their approval. I just want to talk with them.”
“You’re stalling.”
“Why does that make you smile?”
He crossed to her and cupped her chin. “Because if you’re stalling, you’re scared. And I’ve come to learn that the only thing that really scares you is happiness. The idea of saying yes to me would make you so happy that you’re afraid to risk it.”
Gwen narrowed her eyes at the smugness in his voice. “I preferred it when you were moody.” He just shrugged.
“You know, I was thinking . . .”
“What?”
She shook her head. “Never mind.”
“What were you going to say?”
She sniffed. “It’s nothing, really.”
Zander ground his teeth. “Tell me.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Will you just fucking tell me,” he clipped. “I can’t stand it when you start a sentence and don’t finish it.”
Bristling at his tone, Gwen lifted a brow. “Yeah? You know what that sounds like? Your problem, not mine.”
Growling, he fisted her shirt, pulled her close, and gave her a hard kiss. “No one gets my blood boiling like you do.”
“Aw, that’s such a nice thing to say.”
He just shook his head.
With nothing to do and nowhere to go, the day was a fairly boring one for Gwen. But having so much unoccupied time gave her the chance to think about everything Zander had said, to realize just how much she wanted to reach for what he was offering, to concede that, yes, she was stalling. However, she really did want to talk to her family about it before making an informed decision.
So, later that evening when the Mercury wolves went on their nightly patrol, she settled at the kitchen table with Yvonne and Marlon. As they drank coffee, Gwen engaged them in a little chitchat, not wanting to just blurt it out. Surprising her, Yvonne mentioned the wolves first.
“I’ve gotten used to having Ally and the boys around,” she said. “It’ll be strange when they’re gone.”
Biting the bullet, Gwen confessed, “Zander wants me to leave with him.”
Yvonne didn’t seem the least bit shocked or even disappointed. “I thought he might.”
“What do you want?” asked Marlon, who also didn’t look surprised.
“There isn’t an easy answer to that question.” Gwen cradled her hot mug in her hands. “Leaving with Zander would mean leaving here.” She sliced her gaze to Yvonne. “You’d only have Marlon to help you with this place.”
Yvonne set down her cup. “I’m actually thinking of selling it.”
Gwen blinked. “You serious?” She hadn’t seen that coming at all.
Yvonne glanced around. “I’ve run this place for a long time. I’ve loved every minute of it. But I’m tired. And not all the memories here are good ones. I’ve been looking at houses online. I saw this gorgeous little house by a lake. There’s room for you and Marlon there if you want it, though the rooms are a lot smaller than the ones here. And it has plenty of land so that I can build a cabin where Donnie can grow old. You’re not mad at me, are you?”
Marlon’s brow creased. “Why would we be mad?”
“This is your home.”
“Dylan asked me to move in with him,” Marlon admitted. “I’m not ready just yet, but one of the reasons I held back was that I didn’t want to leave you.”
Yvonne huffed. “I’m not an invalid.”
“No,” allowed Gwen, “but this place isn’t something you could run on your own.”
“Don’t worry about me.” Yvonne leaned her elbows on the table. “I never intended to spend the rest of my days here. You two need to live your own lives.”
Marlon shifted in his seat. “It would feel like I was abandoning you.”
Face softening, Yvonne put a hand on his arm. “You know how it feels to be abandoned, and you don’t want to repay me for giving you a home by leaving me. I understand, but that’s a load of crap. Fleeing the nest is a normal step in life. And I’m sorry to say this, kids, but you’re murder on my sex life. You scare away every guy who shows any interest in me. I know you do it to protect me, but . . .”
“A girl’s gotta eat,” Gwen finished.
Yvonne laughed. “Exactly. If you’re not ready to move out, fine. But don’t stay for me. You have no idea how happy it will make me to see you taking such a natural step in life. It means that I didn’t screw you up when I married husband number two.”
“We prefer to call him Asshole,” said Marlon.
“An apt description.” Yvonne sighed. “Zander’s good for you, Gwen.”
Yeah, but . . . “A relationship with a shifter would be far from simple.”
“Sweetie, no relationship is simple. They’re what you make of them.”
“But it’s not like I could leave if things didn’t work out. Zander and I would have to mate. You can’t escape a mating bond.”
Yvonne looked at her like she was crazy. “Why would you want to escape it? He adores you. Protects you. Looks at you like you’re some kind of gift to him.”
Marlon nodded. “He’s good to you. Good for you. I think if you don’t leave with him, you’ll always regret it.”
And that was what made up Gwen’s mind. She would regret it if she said no. She didn’t want to live with regrets. She also didn’t want to live a life that didn’t have him in it.
