Mess Me Up
Page 34
“I just wanted you to know.”
With that, I walked out of his door and out of his life, not once looking back.
With no other options left to me, I walked home, wondering the whole way what in the hell I was going to do now.
Out of all the possibilities that were left to me, the one that reared its ugly head wasn’t the one that I ever expected.
Chapter 20
Someone really should’ve asked me before ruining my life. I need to be prepared for how life is going to fuck me.
-Izzy’s secret thoughts
Izzy
I never wanted to drive Vanessa’s car.
It made me want to vomit.
Not because it was in bad shape or anything, but because of what it had once represented to my brother.
But I was left with no other option.
I couldn’t stay.
Rome didn’t need to see me every day and be reminded of what he’d told himself he couldn’t have.
I loved him too much, and having lost something so precious myself, I knew exactly where he was coming from.
I wouldn’t do it to him. I refused.
Which was why I was leaving.
Or attempting to leave.
I’d just pulled my car into my driveway when something shifted on my front porch.
Narrowing my eyes, I was surprised to find one of my nephews—Oscar’s son, Ruben—there. On his right was a girl about his age—the same girl I’d seen in the grocery store with Rodrigo and that woman a while ago, and the same girl from the pictures I found at the senator’s house.
I got out of the car and walked toward them, a sick feeling building in my gut.
“Ruben?” I asked.
Ruben stood up so abruptly that the girl leaning on him nearly went flying down my porch steps.
“You came back!” he exclaimed.
I frowned. “Yeah…for now anyway. Why?”
“Can I go with you?” He paused. “Can we go with you? I overheard Dad’s phone call with you this morning. We’re both eighteen as of yesterday.”
I frowned. When had that happened?
Had I been so caught up in my own life that I’d forgotten something so important?
I didn’t remember them being eighteen.
The last time I remembered, Ruben had been sixteen…
“Ruben, you’re not eighteen.” I paused. “And your birthday is in December.”
I sighed, knowing that I was right, and feeling relieved that I hadn’t missed his birthday. I may not get along well with his father since he chose our parents’ side over mine, but I did love his kids, and I had since they’d been born.
It was just hard to have a relationship with them when their parents wouldn’t allow it.
Ruben seemed to deflate.
“If I don’t leave, he’ll kill me,” the girl whispered.
I felt those words in my chest.
“What’s your name?” I asked softly.
“Diana,” she answered immediately. “He calls me Missy, though.”
I felt like I’d been struck in the chest.
I knew exactly who she was talking about and wished to God that I didn’t.
Rodrigo had called me Missy as well.
That’s not how that is done, Missy. Try again.
Missy, is that how we act in public?
What do you think, Missy? Should you be allowed to eat today?
I fucking hated him.
And I hated it more that he was treating this young woman exactly like he’d treated me.
If she got the nickname, she was likely getting all the other bullshit that came with it.
The demeaning words, the ridicule, the beatings.
“Diana…”
“He’s going to kill you, too,” she whispered. “I heard him talking on the phone. He was talking to his partner at the firm. You’re not safe here, and neither am I.”
No matter how much I wanted to, I wouldn’t take her with me. I’d be a fugitive then, too.
“I’ll tell you where I’m going,” I whispered. “And if you happen to get there on your own? Well, then what a coincidence.”
Ruben and Diana both sagged in relief, but both got up to leave only moments after that.
“Be safe.”
Ruben’s eyes met mine. “We will.”
***
Two Days Later
I looked around the small house with a sad smile on my face.
“This is perfect,” I said. “You really didn’t have to do this.”
I looked over at the woman who’d worked alongside me for my parents for years.
She had quit a couple of months before I did because her grandmother had gotten very sick, and she then decided to stay at home after her grandmother passed away because she’d met a man here who she felt was worth pursuing.
She had another place to live now while she settled her grandmother’s estate, and because of that, she had a house available to rent—or sublet, since she’d signed a one-year lease on it.
“Do you want to talk about whatever it is that brought you here?” Telly asked softly. “I know that you’re not here because you want to be.”
Here was Hostel, Texas.
And no, I certainly wasn’t here because I wanted to be.
“I’m not ready yet,” I admitted. “And I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.”
I didn’t place my hand on my stomach, a reflex now. Every fiber of my being screamed at me to do that constantly now. A protective measure, maybe?
I also didn’t meet Telly’s eyes.
Instead, I changed the subject.
“So, you and Finley Hail, huh?” I said softly. “How did that happen?”
She shook her head, her eyes smiling.
“I know you’re changing the subject.” She rolled her eyes. “And Finley Hail and I haven’t happened…I’m just living in his house as a live-in nanny for his young daughter. When he’s not here, anyway. When he is, I will have an apartment over the garage so I can still be available to watch her. Plus, he’s only here a short while. He’s going back to Alabama or something as soon as he straightens out his baby-mama drama.”
She may not have actually done anything with Finley Hail yet, but she would.
He’d been the one to drop her off with his young daughter in the front seat, and the entire time his eyes had stayed on her.
He’d flicked his eyes to me once, and once only, and that was it.
“Tell me.” I gestured to the front steps. “What does Finley Hail do that keeps him away from home?”
For a woman that ‘didn’t like him like that’ she sure had a lot of good things to say about the man.
I also didn’t miss the way her eyes lit up each and every time she spoke about him.
But like recognized like.
Only a love-sick fool could spot another love-sick fool.
Chapter 21
Be a unicorn, not a twatapotamus.
-Coffee Cup
Rome
I felt like something had been ripped straight out of my chest for the second time in my life.
What gave me meaning two days ago was no longer possible today, and I felt like I was drowning.
It was somehow worse, knowing that the person that I needed more than air was still alive, but just gone from my life.
It was like I had cement shoes on my feet, and I was at the bottom of the lake. I could see the surface, but I couldn’t reach it.
I followed her.
The moment I knew that she was safe, I went to my best friend and ordered him to take care of her.
Now, a month later, I was still no closer to finding my answers.
I sat on my couch, staring at the tank Blitz was lazily chewing away at a piece of lettuce in, wondering what in the hell I was going to do.
I knew I couldn’t keep living like this.
I also knew that I hadn’t—wouldn’t—stop loving her.
Which led me to thinking about things and realizing that I needed some perspective.
I picked up my gym bag and walked out the door, slamming it closed behind me without bothering to lock it.
The only thing that I cared about was an hour and a half away, hiding.
Then again, wasn’t that what I was doing, too?
My phone rang. “I’m on my way, fucker.”
“You better not be unless you’re seriously going to do something about it,” Tyler growled.
With that, I walked out of his door and out of his life, not once looking back.
With no other options left to me, I walked home, wondering the whole way what in the hell I was going to do now.
Out of all the possibilities that were left to me, the one that reared its ugly head wasn’t the one that I ever expected.
Chapter 20
Someone really should’ve asked me before ruining my life. I need to be prepared for how life is going to fuck me.
-Izzy’s secret thoughts
Izzy
I never wanted to drive Vanessa’s car.
It made me want to vomit.
Not because it was in bad shape or anything, but because of what it had once represented to my brother.
But I was left with no other option.
I couldn’t stay.
Rome didn’t need to see me every day and be reminded of what he’d told himself he couldn’t have.
I loved him too much, and having lost something so precious myself, I knew exactly where he was coming from.
I wouldn’t do it to him. I refused.
Which was why I was leaving.
Or attempting to leave.
I’d just pulled my car into my driveway when something shifted on my front porch.
Narrowing my eyes, I was surprised to find one of my nephews—Oscar’s son, Ruben—there. On his right was a girl about his age—the same girl I’d seen in the grocery store with Rodrigo and that woman a while ago, and the same girl from the pictures I found at the senator’s house.
I got out of the car and walked toward them, a sick feeling building in my gut.
“Ruben?” I asked.
Ruben stood up so abruptly that the girl leaning on him nearly went flying down my porch steps.
“You came back!” he exclaimed.
I frowned. “Yeah…for now anyway. Why?”
“Can I go with you?” He paused. “Can we go with you? I overheard Dad’s phone call with you this morning. We’re both eighteen as of yesterday.”
I frowned. When had that happened?
Had I been so caught up in my own life that I’d forgotten something so important?
I didn’t remember them being eighteen.
The last time I remembered, Ruben had been sixteen…
“Ruben, you’re not eighteen.” I paused. “And your birthday is in December.”
I sighed, knowing that I was right, and feeling relieved that I hadn’t missed his birthday. I may not get along well with his father since he chose our parents’ side over mine, but I did love his kids, and I had since they’d been born.
It was just hard to have a relationship with them when their parents wouldn’t allow it.
Ruben seemed to deflate.
“If I don’t leave, he’ll kill me,” the girl whispered.
I felt those words in my chest.
“What’s your name?” I asked softly.
“Diana,” she answered immediately. “He calls me Missy, though.”
I felt like I’d been struck in the chest.
I knew exactly who she was talking about and wished to God that I didn’t.
Rodrigo had called me Missy as well.
That’s not how that is done, Missy. Try again.
Missy, is that how we act in public?
What do you think, Missy? Should you be allowed to eat today?
I fucking hated him.
And I hated it more that he was treating this young woman exactly like he’d treated me.
If she got the nickname, she was likely getting all the other bullshit that came with it.
The demeaning words, the ridicule, the beatings.
“Diana…”
“He’s going to kill you, too,” she whispered. “I heard him talking on the phone. He was talking to his partner at the firm. You’re not safe here, and neither am I.”
No matter how much I wanted to, I wouldn’t take her with me. I’d be a fugitive then, too.
“I’ll tell you where I’m going,” I whispered. “And if you happen to get there on your own? Well, then what a coincidence.”
Ruben and Diana both sagged in relief, but both got up to leave only moments after that.
“Be safe.”
Ruben’s eyes met mine. “We will.”
***
Two Days Later
I looked around the small house with a sad smile on my face.
“This is perfect,” I said. “You really didn’t have to do this.”
I looked over at the woman who’d worked alongside me for my parents for years.
She had quit a couple of months before I did because her grandmother had gotten very sick, and she then decided to stay at home after her grandmother passed away because she’d met a man here who she felt was worth pursuing.
She had another place to live now while she settled her grandmother’s estate, and because of that, she had a house available to rent—or sublet, since she’d signed a one-year lease on it.
“Do you want to talk about whatever it is that brought you here?” Telly asked softly. “I know that you’re not here because you want to be.”
Here was Hostel, Texas.
And no, I certainly wasn’t here because I wanted to be.
“I’m not ready yet,” I admitted. “And I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.”
I didn’t place my hand on my stomach, a reflex now. Every fiber of my being screamed at me to do that constantly now. A protective measure, maybe?
I also didn’t meet Telly’s eyes.
Instead, I changed the subject.
“So, you and Finley Hail, huh?” I said softly. “How did that happen?”
She shook her head, her eyes smiling.
“I know you’re changing the subject.” She rolled her eyes. “And Finley Hail and I haven’t happened…I’m just living in his house as a live-in nanny for his young daughter. When he’s not here, anyway. When he is, I will have an apartment over the garage so I can still be available to watch her. Plus, he’s only here a short while. He’s going back to Alabama or something as soon as he straightens out his baby-mama drama.”
She may not have actually done anything with Finley Hail yet, but she would.
He’d been the one to drop her off with his young daughter in the front seat, and the entire time his eyes had stayed on her.
He’d flicked his eyes to me once, and once only, and that was it.
“Tell me.” I gestured to the front steps. “What does Finley Hail do that keeps him away from home?”
For a woman that ‘didn’t like him like that’ she sure had a lot of good things to say about the man.
I also didn’t miss the way her eyes lit up each and every time she spoke about him.
But like recognized like.
Only a love-sick fool could spot another love-sick fool.
Chapter 21
Be a unicorn, not a twatapotamus.
-Coffee Cup
Rome
I felt like something had been ripped straight out of my chest for the second time in my life.
What gave me meaning two days ago was no longer possible today, and I felt like I was drowning.
It was somehow worse, knowing that the person that I needed more than air was still alive, but just gone from my life.
It was like I had cement shoes on my feet, and I was at the bottom of the lake. I could see the surface, but I couldn’t reach it.
I followed her.
The moment I knew that she was safe, I went to my best friend and ordered him to take care of her.
Now, a month later, I was still no closer to finding my answers.
I sat on my couch, staring at the tank Blitz was lazily chewing away at a piece of lettuce in, wondering what in the hell I was going to do.
I knew I couldn’t keep living like this.
I also knew that I hadn’t—wouldn’t—stop loving her.
Which led me to thinking about things and realizing that I needed some perspective.
I picked up my gym bag and walked out the door, slamming it closed behind me without bothering to lock it.
The only thing that I cared about was an hour and a half away, hiding.
Then again, wasn’t that what I was doing, too?
My phone rang. “I’m on my way, fucker.”
“You better not be unless you’re seriously going to do something about it,” Tyler growled.
