My Clarity
Page 3
Lung cancer stole my dad’s life. He fought till the very end, but the odds were not in his favor. I can still recall his last words to me: Alexandria, make sure to give your heart to the guy who will love you for all your goodness and your faults, who will make you feel like you’re the center of his world. What did he mean by that anyway?
“The bus should be here in five minutes,” Emma said somberly, opening the trunk of her car.
Excitement and sadness rushed through me as I took out my suitcase, a small duffle bag, and my purse. This was it—my freedom, my independence, and my new life. Though I was scared out of my mind and heartbroken, I had to do this. Turning to Emma, I gave her a big smile and another tight squeeze. “I’ll text you when I get there.”
“You better. And you better keep in touch and not forget about me,” Emma started to tear up again.
It was difficult to say goodbye to the best friend I’ve had since kindergarten. Being an only child, she was like a sister to me. We did all sorts of crazy stuff together and we knew each other’s deepest secrets—which wasn’t much, since we weren’t the rebel types. The only bad thing we did together was sneak out of the house to go to parties.
“Now who’s the one crying,” I said as my lips quivered.
“I’m going to be jealous of your new roommate. What was her name again?”
“Jimmy told me her name is Ellie. Well, he texted me. I was lucky I even got a text from my cousin, let alone a phone call. You know how he is.”
“I can’t believe Jimmy had a female roommate. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but personally, I would prefer to live with the same gender.”
“I know, right? But I’m sure they worked it out. Who’s to say opposite sexes can’t be roommates?”
“True. But you better not like her more than me,” she scowled playfully, trying to lighten the mood.
“I could never. I’m only three hours away. Maybe you can visit.”
Emma’s eyes lit up and shifted to her car. “I would love to, but I don’t think this clunker could make the long drive. And don’t let Liam visit you.”
“Emma,” I said her name a bit too loud. “He’s not as bad as you think.”
“That’s right. He’s actually worse. If he really cared, he would be driving you to your new place.”
“He’s busy. And he lives too freakin’ far. I’m lucky to even get a visit from him.”
“It still isn’t a good excuse. If he cared enough to try to get into your pants, he should care enough to drive you there instead of making you take the bus. Your dad wouldn’t have liked him.”
When my eyes widened in surprise, she spoke again. “I’m sorry. I only want the best for you, and I don’t think he’s it.”
“You can’t help whom you fall in love with,” I commented, but what I really wanted to say was that I didn’t know if I loved Liam. It was too much to think about…too much to admit on top of my already broken heart.
Liam and I started dating several months before Dad passed away. Dad never got to meet him. I wanted to wait until things got serious, because I knew no matter whom I brought home, he wouldn’t have been good enough for his sunshine. “I’m a big girl. I’ll be the judge, but I thank you for caring,” I stated with a smile.
Not wanting to be the type of girl who needed a guy to take care of her, it had never crossed my mind to have Liam drive me. I didn’t want to be like my mom. I could tell my stepdad took good care of her. Perhaps it’s the reason why she left Dad.
With a heavy sigh, Emma turned to the sound of the bus slowing down. “Next stop is to begin your new adventure.”
“I’ll come back for Christmas, and I’ll text you as often as I can.” My tone was full of promise, but we both knew that the distance was going to be a killer. I already felt it with Liam. I was hoping it would be different between us.
“Go…before I don’t let you,” she said when the door to the bus opened. A few passengers already placed their bags inside the storage compartment. I decided I should do the same. After Emma helped me, she gave me another hug and backed away.
Giving her my pouty face, I headed up the bus steps.
“If you ever want something from a guy, make sure to pout. You have one hell of a sexy pout.”
“Yeah, right,” I laughed, waving to her as I handed the driver my ticket. The air-conditioned bus immediately cooled me down, giving me shivers. I found a window seat and sat down. I looked out the window and saw Emma still standing there, so I gave her a reassuring smile and waved. She appeared smaller and smaller until she was nothing but a tiny blur.
I turned to face the front, but kept my eyes staring out the window. I couldn’t believe I was actually doing this. I was going to live out on my own and create my own adventure. I was an open book, blank pages yet to be written on. How cool was that!
Well Dad, I thought to myself. I’m really doing this. I’m really excited and nervous, but I know you’re with me. You’re always with me. Then somehow, I felt a sense of ease trickle through me, slowly releasing the tension I’d felt since getting on the bus. Talking to my dad, even though he wasn’t here, always helped me through whatever I was facing.
Chapter 2
Alexandria
As the party music rang in my ears, I couldn’t help but sway a little to the rhythm of the melody as I headed to my destination. Wheeling a suitcase behind me, a small duffel bag in my other hand and a purse strap over my shoulder, I searched for 48 Dartmouth Court. I prayed that the party was not at the condo I would be staying at.
“The bus should be here in five minutes,” Emma said somberly, opening the trunk of her car.
Excitement and sadness rushed through me as I took out my suitcase, a small duffle bag, and my purse. This was it—my freedom, my independence, and my new life. Though I was scared out of my mind and heartbroken, I had to do this. Turning to Emma, I gave her a big smile and another tight squeeze. “I’ll text you when I get there.”
“You better. And you better keep in touch and not forget about me,” Emma started to tear up again.
It was difficult to say goodbye to the best friend I’ve had since kindergarten. Being an only child, she was like a sister to me. We did all sorts of crazy stuff together and we knew each other’s deepest secrets—which wasn’t much, since we weren’t the rebel types. The only bad thing we did together was sneak out of the house to go to parties.
“Now who’s the one crying,” I said as my lips quivered.
“I’m going to be jealous of your new roommate. What was her name again?”
“Jimmy told me her name is Ellie. Well, he texted me. I was lucky I even got a text from my cousin, let alone a phone call. You know how he is.”
“I can’t believe Jimmy had a female roommate. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but personally, I would prefer to live with the same gender.”
“I know, right? But I’m sure they worked it out. Who’s to say opposite sexes can’t be roommates?”
“True. But you better not like her more than me,” she scowled playfully, trying to lighten the mood.
“I could never. I’m only three hours away. Maybe you can visit.”
Emma’s eyes lit up and shifted to her car. “I would love to, but I don’t think this clunker could make the long drive. And don’t let Liam visit you.”
“Emma,” I said her name a bit too loud. “He’s not as bad as you think.”
“That’s right. He’s actually worse. If he really cared, he would be driving you to your new place.”
“He’s busy. And he lives too freakin’ far. I’m lucky to even get a visit from him.”
“It still isn’t a good excuse. If he cared enough to try to get into your pants, he should care enough to drive you there instead of making you take the bus. Your dad wouldn’t have liked him.”
When my eyes widened in surprise, she spoke again. “I’m sorry. I only want the best for you, and I don’t think he’s it.”
“You can’t help whom you fall in love with,” I commented, but what I really wanted to say was that I didn’t know if I loved Liam. It was too much to think about…too much to admit on top of my already broken heart.
Liam and I started dating several months before Dad passed away. Dad never got to meet him. I wanted to wait until things got serious, because I knew no matter whom I brought home, he wouldn’t have been good enough for his sunshine. “I’m a big girl. I’ll be the judge, but I thank you for caring,” I stated with a smile.
Not wanting to be the type of girl who needed a guy to take care of her, it had never crossed my mind to have Liam drive me. I didn’t want to be like my mom. I could tell my stepdad took good care of her. Perhaps it’s the reason why she left Dad.
With a heavy sigh, Emma turned to the sound of the bus slowing down. “Next stop is to begin your new adventure.”
“I’ll come back for Christmas, and I’ll text you as often as I can.” My tone was full of promise, but we both knew that the distance was going to be a killer. I already felt it with Liam. I was hoping it would be different between us.
“Go…before I don’t let you,” she said when the door to the bus opened. A few passengers already placed their bags inside the storage compartment. I decided I should do the same. After Emma helped me, she gave me another hug and backed away.
Giving her my pouty face, I headed up the bus steps.
“If you ever want something from a guy, make sure to pout. You have one hell of a sexy pout.”
“Yeah, right,” I laughed, waving to her as I handed the driver my ticket. The air-conditioned bus immediately cooled me down, giving me shivers. I found a window seat and sat down. I looked out the window and saw Emma still standing there, so I gave her a reassuring smile and waved. She appeared smaller and smaller until she was nothing but a tiny blur.
I turned to face the front, but kept my eyes staring out the window. I couldn’t believe I was actually doing this. I was going to live out on my own and create my own adventure. I was an open book, blank pages yet to be written on. How cool was that!
Well Dad, I thought to myself. I’m really doing this. I’m really excited and nervous, but I know you’re with me. You’re always with me. Then somehow, I felt a sense of ease trickle through me, slowly releasing the tension I’d felt since getting on the bus. Talking to my dad, even though he wasn’t here, always helped me through whatever I was facing.
Chapter 2
Alexandria
As the party music rang in my ears, I couldn’t help but sway a little to the rhythm of the melody as I headed to my destination. Wheeling a suitcase behind me, a small duffel bag in my other hand and a purse strap over my shoulder, I searched for 48 Dartmouth Court. I prayed that the party was not at the condo I would be staying at.
