Nightwalker
Page 15
“So you like to be surprised. You know it’s going to be there, but it still surprises you to see it every time.” Kamen felt a smile twitching at his lips. She had such an innocence about her. But he wouldn’t call her naïve. The world she circulated in had been too hard on her for her to be naïve.
“Yes. Exactly like that. What about you? What do you do that gives you pleasure?”
“Nothing,” he said. And sadly, it was the truth. He had only one hobby: researching and practicing new spells. But that was more a calling than a hobby. “I do a lot of reading, but it’s not like gardening is for you.”
“Why not? Aren’t there ever any surprises when you read?”
Actually, there were. Often he would come across a little gem or come to an understanding he wasn’t expecting.
“There are some,” he admitted.
“And does reading give you any pleasure?”
“It gives me satisfaction,” he said. “But I have lost the joy I used to find in it. Ever since…” Ever since he’d used a spell that had accidentally brought an imp god to their world. “It’s been a long time and I don’t expect it to change any time soon.”
“That’s so sad,” she said softly, reaching to touch one of her pale hands to his face, her fingers caressing him along his jaw. “Maybe one day you will be able to change that.”
“Perhaps,” he said softly. But he doubted it. He couldn’t explain to her why. He didn’t want to see the change that would come over her once she realized he was to blame for all of this.
There was an extreme intimacy to the moment though. He was touching her face and she was touching his. He felt connected to her for that instant, grounded. For those brief moments he felt like he belonged somewhere.
It was a feeling he wanted to hold on to for all he was worth. A feeling he had not experienced in so long. Certainly not in this lifetime. He had left the pleasures of the flesh and soul behind him in his last lifetime on this planet. Since his resurrection into this body he had known cerebral pleasure, but never physical.
For just a moment, he wanted to change that. He didn’t know why, couldn’t explain the strange impulse interrupting his well-ordered existence, but he felt the overwhelming urge to kiss her.
Kamen surged forward and caught her mouth with his. He entered it analytically at first, trying to decipher the urge and the feelings that came with it, but his analytical mind was slammed shut as the pure pleasure of the sensation of her lips against his overwhelmed him. Her mouth was soft, compliant. Welcoming. She let him kiss her, let him deepen the kiss as it urged him to do. She tasted of those strawberries she so loved, and smelled just as sweet. Her skin was like cream beneath his fingertips as he cradled her face in his hand. Had he been more like himself he would have stopped, pulled back, apologized for whatever it was that had come over him…but he did none of those things. Instead, he touched his tongue to her lips and begged entrance to the warmth of her mouth. She drew a breath and then released it on a sigh as she parted her lips and bade him to enter.
Kamen drew her up tight into the sudden heat that boiled into the kiss. His tongue tangled with hers, and his heartbeat tripled in cadence. His usually smooth and refined and logical aura was decimated by a sudden need to feel her all over his body. To that end his arms wrapped around her and he pulled her in tight against him, her breasts crushed against his chest. She was still on her knees before him, his legs bracketing her body as he sat up to the edge of the couch so he could feel her against himself more thoroughly.
He broke from the kiss, panting hard for breath as he searched her face for answers to his own behavior. All he learned was that she was beautiful and tempting and he wanted more of her.
The desire shocked him to his core, jolting him into reality. And the reality was that he did not deserve her. He did not deserve the pleasure he was feeling with her. All he deserved was the cold, lonely existence he had known for months now.
He pulled away from her, standing up and putting distance between them. His breathing was ragged and harsh, and his body still hummed with the feel of her against him. She had been so willing. Would she still be if she knew the truth about him?
He didn’t fool himself about that. One day she would learn the truth, and on that day she would no longer look at him the way she was looking at him right then. With soft longing. With desire and passion.
Kamen ran a hand over his face and turned his back to her. He couldn’t bear looking into those warm, forgiving eyes.
“Kamen…did I do something wrong?” she asked. She had gotten to her feet and when he looked at her he saw honest puzzlement and distress on her face. She thought this was her fault? No. He would not have that.
“No. It has nothing to do with you. I…I simply do not partake of these kinds of pleasures. I am sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”
“Why don’t you take part in pleasures like this?” she asked with honest curiosity. “What’s wrong with it? Is it because I am a Wraith? I would understand if it was. Wraiths are not known for their sexual attractiveness.”
“Enough!” he barked, startling her. “I said it has nothing to do with you and I meant it. You are not the problem here.”
“Then what is the problem?” she wanted to know.
“It is too complex a thing to explain and we don’t have time. I am feeling better now and we should move on to our next target.”
Viève licked her lips, the flavor of him, a hot, heady taste on her tongue, still lingered. She had not expected his kiss, but it did not follow that it was unwelcome. In fact, it was the first time anyone had touched her with such a passionate need. Wraiths were so cold and she had always wanted more from them than they were able to give. It had been a failing of her human half, she believed. Had she been fully bred she wouldn’t have wanted anything more than what she had.
But as it stood, she had always craved more—like what she had just received from Kamen. For the first time she had felt whole and wanted. It had to be the most glorious feeling she had ever known. She hadn’t wanted it to end after so brief a knowing.
She chased after him, even as she told herself she shouldn’t. But she had felt something more in his touch and his caress. She had felt kinship…felt someone who was seeking just as desperately as she was for a place to be wanted and accepted.
“Yes. Exactly like that. What about you? What do you do that gives you pleasure?”
“Nothing,” he said. And sadly, it was the truth. He had only one hobby: researching and practicing new spells. But that was more a calling than a hobby. “I do a lot of reading, but it’s not like gardening is for you.”
“Why not? Aren’t there ever any surprises when you read?”
Actually, there were. Often he would come across a little gem or come to an understanding he wasn’t expecting.
“There are some,” he admitted.
“And does reading give you any pleasure?”
“It gives me satisfaction,” he said. “But I have lost the joy I used to find in it. Ever since…” Ever since he’d used a spell that had accidentally brought an imp god to their world. “It’s been a long time and I don’t expect it to change any time soon.”
“That’s so sad,” she said softly, reaching to touch one of her pale hands to his face, her fingers caressing him along his jaw. “Maybe one day you will be able to change that.”
“Perhaps,” he said softly. But he doubted it. He couldn’t explain to her why. He didn’t want to see the change that would come over her once she realized he was to blame for all of this.
There was an extreme intimacy to the moment though. He was touching her face and she was touching his. He felt connected to her for that instant, grounded. For those brief moments he felt like he belonged somewhere.
It was a feeling he wanted to hold on to for all he was worth. A feeling he had not experienced in so long. Certainly not in this lifetime. He had left the pleasures of the flesh and soul behind him in his last lifetime on this planet. Since his resurrection into this body he had known cerebral pleasure, but never physical.
For just a moment, he wanted to change that. He didn’t know why, couldn’t explain the strange impulse interrupting his well-ordered existence, but he felt the overwhelming urge to kiss her.
Kamen surged forward and caught her mouth with his. He entered it analytically at first, trying to decipher the urge and the feelings that came with it, but his analytical mind was slammed shut as the pure pleasure of the sensation of her lips against his overwhelmed him. Her mouth was soft, compliant. Welcoming. She let him kiss her, let him deepen the kiss as it urged him to do. She tasted of those strawberries she so loved, and smelled just as sweet. Her skin was like cream beneath his fingertips as he cradled her face in his hand. Had he been more like himself he would have stopped, pulled back, apologized for whatever it was that had come over him…but he did none of those things. Instead, he touched his tongue to her lips and begged entrance to the warmth of her mouth. She drew a breath and then released it on a sigh as she parted her lips and bade him to enter.
Kamen drew her up tight into the sudden heat that boiled into the kiss. His tongue tangled with hers, and his heartbeat tripled in cadence. His usually smooth and refined and logical aura was decimated by a sudden need to feel her all over his body. To that end his arms wrapped around her and he pulled her in tight against him, her breasts crushed against his chest. She was still on her knees before him, his legs bracketing her body as he sat up to the edge of the couch so he could feel her against himself more thoroughly.
He broke from the kiss, panting hard for breath as he searched her face for answers to his own behavior. All he learned was that she was beautiful and tempting and he wanted more of her.
The desire shocked him to his core, jolting him into reality. And the reality was that he did not deserve her. He did not deserve the pleasure he was feeling with her. All he deserved was the cold, lonely existence he had known for months now.
He pulled away from her, standing up and putting distance between them. His breathing was ragged and harsh, and his body still hummed with the feel of her against him. She had been so willing. Would she still be if she knew the truth about him?
He didn’t fool himself about that. One day she would learn the truth, and on that day she would no longer look at him the way she was looking at him right then. With soft longing. With desire and passion.
Kamen ran a hand over his face and turned his back to her. He couldn’t bear looking into those warm, forgiving eyes.
“Kamen…did I do something wrong?” she asked. She had gotten to her feet and when he looked at her he saw honest puzzlement and distress on her face. She thought this was her fault? No. He would not have that.
“No. It has nothing to do with you. I…I simply do not partake of these kinds of pleasures. I am sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”
“Why don’t you take part in pleasures like this?” she asked with honest curiosity. “What’s wrong with it? Is it because I am a Wraith? I would understand if it was. Wraiths are not known for their sexual attractiveness.”
“Enough!” he barked, startling her. “I said it has nothing to do with you and I meant it. You are not the problem here.”
“Then what is the problem?” she wanted to know.
“It is too complex a thing to explain and we don’t have time. I am feeling better now and we should move on to our next target.”
Viève licked her lips, the flavor of him, a hot, heady taste on her tongue, still lingered. She had not expected his kiss, but it did not follow that it was unwelcome. In fact, it was the first time anyone had touched her with such a passionate need. Wraiths were so cold and she had always wanted more from them than they were able to give. It had been a failing of her human half, she believed. Had she been fully bred she wouldn’t have wanted anything more than what she had.
But as it stood, she had always craved more—like what she had just received from Kamen. For the first time she had felt whole and wanted. It had to be the most glorious feeling she had ever known. She hadn’t wanted it to end after so brief a knowing.
She chased after him, even as she told herself she shouldn’t. But she had felt something more in his touch and his caress. She had felt kinship…felt someone who was seeking just as desperately as she was for a place to be wanted and accepted.
