Nightwalker
Page 16
She reached out and touched him, longing for more contact, but he jerked away from her. It was enough to quiet her longings. He said it wasn’t her, but how could it be anything else? She wasn’t good enough. She wasn’t wanted.
She backed away from him and fought a sudden surge of tears. She shouldn’t cry. Wraiths did not cry. A full-bred Wraith didn’t even have tear ducts. But she did, and she had often fought the urge to give in to tears. The only thing that had kept her from it was the idea of facing the ridicule that would come. Ridicule for her failings and weaknesses as a half-breed.
“Very well,” she said hoarsely. “You are right. We should go if you are up to it. There is no time to waste on trivial mistakes.”
Kamen turned to face her. He realized then that she didn’t believe him when he said it wasn’t her fault he had pulled away. The only way he could convince her would be to tell her the truth, but…he was quickly becoming a coward as far as that was concerned. He had readily accepted the fault and blame he deserved for his actions to date, but for some reason it was different with her. He didn’t want her to look at him with the same judgmental eyes everyone else did.
He reached for her then, curling his hands around her upper arms and drawing her in close to his body. A part of him sighed with relief at the simple contact with her warmth and softness. But he struggled to rein that in.
“Viève…sweet little Viève…you deserve better than me,” he said softly as he looked down into her dove gray eyes.
“That’s so funny. I was thinking the same thing…that you deserve better than me,” she said.
“No. Do not think that. I am a man of no passion. Your passion, as divine as it is, is wasted on a man like me.”
“For a man with no passion, you certainly acted with intense passion a little while ago.”
“Perhaps it was your beauty that inspired it,” he said.
She snorted out a laugh. “I highly doubt that! I am not the sort of woman who inspires great feeling in others. I am a Wraith. Wraiths have no feelings.”
“You are a half-breed, and you very much have feelings. I have seen them for myself.”
“Well there’s no need to throw it in my face!” she cried suddenly. Damn those tears; they were going to come anyway. Then what would he think of her?
“Viève…” His tone softened as he cupped her face in both hands and tipped her head back. He made certain there was complete eye contact so she would know and feel his sincerity. “I do not care if you are a half-breed. You are Wraith enough to get this job done and that is all that matters. And when it comes to the rest…you are more than woman enough to satisfy even the rusted over desires of an undeserving man.” He dropped his head and gently kissed her full and inviting mouth. It was just a gesture of comfort, of reassurance, but he craved more instantly and he had to fight back that powerful hunger. He pulled away and met her eyes again. “And trust me when I say I am an undeserving man. You deserve far better than me.”
Viève licked her lips and suddenly jumped in with both feet, risking her fragile ego. “But I don’t want better. I want you.”
That hunger ramped up to full on craving for Kamen. He didn’t understand it, didn’t understand why it was so strong. What was it about this woman that made him feel so alive? It was a wickedly tempting sensation.
“Believe me,” he whispered a fraction of an inch away from her mouth, “there is no one I want more than you.”
“But then why…?”
“It’s simply the way it must be.”
She realized she was going to have to accept that…for now. But the feeling of inadequacy had flown away on rapid wings. He wanted her. He had said so himself. But something was making him feel like he didn’t deserve to feel good. She would have to discover what it was…why he wanted to punish himself rather than pleasure himself. If she did that then maybe…maybe there could be more than just that wildly wonderful kiss.
“We should go,” she said softly.
He let go of her face and reached down to take her hands in his. With a nod he frowned a little and said, “Brace yourself. The longer the streak the more unsettling it becomes.”
“Luckily I haven’t eaten anything today,” she quipped, hoping to make him smile.
He did not. Instead he closed his eyes and they were swept into the streak.
Chapter 6
Apep was heavily pregnant. He was uncomfortable, cranky, and craving pizza with an alarming intensity. He wanted this to be over with already. He had things to do, people to conquer and he couldn’t do any of that while bogged down with the weight of a baby. Whose idea had this been anyway? Had it been his? What kind of foolish logic had that been? This baby was sucking away half of his godly power. It was keeping him from making his presence known in the world. He needed to be at full strength if he was going to manipulate the world of man.
And before he did that he had to destroy the only beings on earth who could potentially stop him.
The Nightwalkers.
True, the curse kept them from joining forces. And true, the Wraiths were on his side and that would keep them from being able to break the curse, but his reception with the Wraith Doyen had been lukewarm at best and nothing like the instant adulation he had expected. But he couldn’t demonstrate his power and all the reasons why the Wraiths should fall on their knees with adulation and fear.
Not like this.
Damn it all anyway, when would this thing be over with? When he had decided to procreate, to use the uterus of the Bodywalker female he had inhabited in this incarnation, he had thought it would be fun and in his best interest to create a son who would share in his power. A god and his heir. What could be more worthy of adulation?
But now he was thinking about what it would mean to share that adulation. He didn’t want his son to get all of the attention. After all, he would only be a demi-god. His father was a powerful Night Angel it was true, but still he was little better than a human. Just like this body he now possessed.
He would simply have to set some rules. Make certain the people understood who was more deserving of their attention. He would let his son have a little attention of his own, but in the end Apep would garner most of it. And the best way to do that was through fear. He would make them fear him and then he would make them adore him.
She backed away from him and fought a sudden surge of tears. She shouldn’t cry. Wraiths did not cry. A full-bred Wraith didn’t even have tear ducts. But she did, and she had often fought the urge to give in to tears. The only thing that had kept her from it was the idea of facing the ridicule that would come. Ridicule for her failings and weaknesses as a half-breed.
“Very well,” she said hoarsely. “You are right. We should go if you are up to it. There is no time to waste on trivial mistakes.”
Kamen turned to face her. He realized then that she didn’t believe him when he said it wasn’t her fault he had pulled away. The only way he could convince her would be to tell her the truth, but…he was quickly becoming a coward as far as that was concerned. He had readily accepted the fault and blame he deserved for his actions to date, but for some reason it was different with her. He didn’t want her to look at him with the same judgmental eyes everyone else did.
He reached for her then, curling his hands around her upper arms and drawing her in close to his body. A part of him sighed with relief at the simple contact with her warmth and softness. But he struggled to rein that in.
“Viève…sweet little Viève…you deserve better than me,” he said softly as he looked down into her dove gray eyes.
“That’s so funny. I was thinking the same thing…that you deserve better than me,” she said.
“No. Do not think that. I am a man of no passion. Your passion, as divine as it is, is wasted on a man like me.”
“For a man with no passion, you certainly acted with intense passion a little while ago.”
“Perhaps it was your beauty that inspired it,” he said.
She snorted out a laugh. “I highly doubt that! I am not the sort of woman who inspires great feeling in others. I am a Wraith. Wraiths have no feelings.”
“You are a half-breed, and you very much have feelings. I have seen them for myself.”
“Well there’s no need to throw it in my face!” she cried suddenly. Damn those tears; they were going to come anyway. Then what would he think of her?
“Viève…” His tone softened as he cupped her face in both hands and tipped her head back. He made certain there was complete eye contact so she would know and feel his sincerity. “I do not care if you are a half-breed. You are Wraith enough to get this job done and that is all that matters. And when it comes to the rest…you are more than woman enough to satisfy even the rusted over desires of an undeserving man.” He dropped his head and gently kissed her full and inviting mouth. It was just a gesture of comfort, of reassurance, but he craved more instantly and he had to fight back that powerful hunger. He pulled away and met her eyes again. “And trust me when I say I am an undeserving man. You deserve far better than me.”
Viève licked her lips and suddenly jumped in with both feet, risking her fragile ego. “But I don’t want better. I want you.”
That hunger ramped up to full on craving for Kamen. He didn’t understand it, didn’t understand why it was so strong. What was it about this woman that made him feel so alive? It was a wickedly tempting sensation.
“Believe me,” he whispered a fraction of an inch away from her mouth, “there is no one I want more than you.”
“But then why…?”
“It’s simply the way it must be.”
She realized she was going to have to accept that…for now. But the feeling of inadequacy had flown away on rapid wings. He wanted her. He had said so himself. But something was making him feel like he didn’t deserve to feel good. She would have to discover what it was…why he wanted to punish himself rather than pleasure himself. If she did that then maybe…maybe there could be more than just that wildly wonderful kiss.
“We should go,” she said softly.
He let go of her face and reached down to take her hands in his. With a nod he frowned a little and said, “Brace yourself. The longer the streak the more unsettling it becomes.”
“Luckily I haven’t eaten anything today,” she quipped, hoping to make him smile.
He did not. Instead he closed his eyes and they were swept into the streak.
Chapter 6
Apep was heavily pregnant. He was uncomfortable, cranky, and craving pizza with an alarming intensity. He wanted this to be over with already. He had things to do, people to conquer and he couldn’t do any of that while bogged down with the weight of a baby. Whose idea had this been anyway? Had it been his? What kind of foolish logic had that been? This baby was sucking away half of his godly power. It was keeping him from making his presence known in the world. He needed to be at full strength if he was going to manipulate the world of man.
And before he did that he had to destroy the only beings on earth who could potentially stop him.
The Nightwalkers.
True, the curse kept them from joining forces. And true, the Wraiths were on his side and that would keep them from being able to break the curse, but his reception with the Wraith Doyen had been lukewarm at best and nothing like the instant adulation he had expected. But he couldn’t demonstrate his power and all the reasons why the Wraiths should fall on their knees with adulation and fear.
Not like this.
Damn it all anyway, when would this thing be over with? When he had decided to procreate, to use the uterus of the Bodywalker female he had inhabited in this incarnation, he had thought it would be fun and in his best interest to create a son who would share in his power. A god and his heir. What could be more worthy of adulation?
But now he was thinking about what it would mean to share that adulation. He didn’t want his son to get all of the attention. After all, he would only be a demi-god. His father was a powerful Night Angel it was true, but still he was little better than a human. Just like this body he now possessed.
He would simply have to set some rules. Make certain the people understood who was more deserving of their attention. He would let his son have a little attention of his own, but in the end Apep would garner most of it. And the best way to do that was through fear. He would make them fear him and then he would make them adore him.
