No Control
Page 39
He folowed her down the hal. She grabbed a plastic box out of the break room and led him to an office.
The smal room was mostly empty, with just a few boxes of files stacked to one side and a broken office chair in the corner. “This wil be my office when the lease on the other one runs out,” she told him. “No one wil bother us here.”
The fluorescent lights flickered on with a low buzz, and Lana shut and locked the door behind her. They were al alone.
Caleb felt that consuming need to touch her again. His fingers slid up over one bare arm. She gave a delicate shiver but didn’t try to stop him. No matter what lies were standing between them, in this, she was honest. Her reaction to his touch was without guile or secrecy.
“Are you realy okay?” she asked.
“I am now.”
“Did anyone else get hurt?”
“No.”
“Good. That’s good.”
“Do you know who he is?” asked Caleb.
“No,” she said. “I saw his face for a second. I didn’t recognize him.”
Caleb sensed she was teling the truth. “He’s unconscious. Do you want to get a better look? A second isn’t very long to identify someone, especialy when they’re armed.”
Her body tensed, and she nearly dropped the bottle of disinfectant she was holding. “No. I don’t want to see him. My memory for faces is good, and I don’t want to start seeing his when I close my eyes at night.”
Caleb didn’t push. He’d be able to get photos for her to look at if she changed her mind. It would be easier on her than looking at the man himself. “He won’t be able to hurt you now.”
Lana nodded but said nothing. She swabbed disinfectant over his cut knuckles. Caleb ignored the sting and watched her tend him in silence. Her fingers shook, but she didn’t falter.
“I think you can stop. I’m not even bleeding anymore.”
She swalowed and nodded again. “Anyplace else hurt?”
His blood was stil hot with adrenaline, his body ready for a fight. Or sex. That would work, too. In fact, it sounded like a great idea. “Depends. Are you going to kiss it and make it better?”
“Don’t joke.”
“Who’s joking? I want you. Right here. Right now.”
Her eyes darkened, and she swayed toward him. “You could have been kiled.”
“I wasn’t. We’re both safe.”
Caleb stepped closer, puling her body against his, heedless of the dirt and sweat of combat on his torso. Lana wasn’t complaining, either. Her skin was warm from the sun, making the honeysuckle and woman scent of her rise up to his nose. Caleb breathed in, holding her essence inside him for as long as he could before letting it out.
“I shouldn’t be turned on right now.”
“Survival instinct. Perfectly normal.” He couldn’t even form a complete sentence anymore, and he had to kiss her. He pinned her against the door and lowered his mouth to hers. Lana’s lips parted without hesitation, and his tongue swept inside her mouth to taste her. Home. She tasted like coming home felt. Sweet and warm and inviting.
He told her with his lips and tongue how much he wanted this. Wanted her. His kiss was hard and demanding, giving her no room to back away.
Lana melted inside his hold and returned his kiss with a sense of desperation, though whether she was desperate for more of him, or desperate to forget the kiler on the roof, he couldn’t tel.
Lana’s hands slid up under his shirt over his abdomen. Slender fingers twined through the hair on his chest, pressing into the muscle beneath. “I love the way you feel,” she told him in a rough whisper against his mouth.
The L-word left him reeling, making his hopes soar. He wanted her to love him, needed it. Needed it so bad he thought his skin would ignite.
Caleb kissed his way over her jaw and down her neck, swirling his tongue as he went. He’d used every one of his powers of observation to gauge her reactions to his touch so that he could learn her most sensitive spots. He wanted to please her like no other man ever had, and he put his monumental force of wil behind the task of learning her body. It hadn’t taken long, because Lana was such a responsive woman. She didn’t hold back teling him with her sighs and moans and shivers what she liked best, and right now, Caleb wanted to show her just what he’d learned.
His lips teased the joint of her neck and shoulder—the exact spot he knew drove her crazy. He let her anticipation build, let her know with the light scraping of his teeth what he was going to do, let her want it. Then, when she was panting and clutching at him, Caleb pressed his teeth against her skin, reveling in the hiss of pleasure she gave him.
“More,” she breathed. “I love that.”
There it was again. The L-word that he wanted to hear with a longing so deep it left him aching.
Caleb smiled and licked away the sting of his teeth. He puled back enough to look into her eyes. They were the rich blue of deep ocean water, heavy-lidded with desire.
Lana tugged at his shirt, unable to get it off without his help. He swept it off over his head and tossed it onto the broken chair. “Your turn,” he told her as he reached for the hem of her shirt.
hem of her shirt.
She let him strip it off of her and reached behind her to unhook her bra. Caleb’s jeans tightened as he watched the guileless striptease. Finaly, her perfectly shaped breasts were bare to him, and he lowered his mouth to one tight pink nipple, unable to resist.
Lana’s body arched toward him, and her hands wrapped around his dark head to hold him in place while he loved her with his mouth. He suckled gently, then harder, figuring out what she wanted, what would give her the most pleasure.
He thrust one thick thigh between her legs and lifted her up so that her center was pressed hard against him, her feet barely reaching the ground. His knee complained, but he didn’t listen. Lana’s hips shifted, grinding herself against his hard muscles as he moved his mouth to her other breast. The sight of her nipple, red and wet and distended from his attention, made him groan aloud, and he cupped her bottom to pul her more firmly against his leg.
Lana’s fingernails bit into his scalp, and a dark flush rose up over her breasts and throat. She was making soft little mewling noises that drove Caleb crazy. He had to get inside her, had to feel the wet heat of her body surround him and drive away his insanity.
Caleb attacked the button of her jeans and tugged the zipper down with a jerk. His hands slid inside her clothing, caressing sunlight-soft skin.
Lana breathed out a jagged sigh and puled his head up for an open-mouthed, devouring kiss. Caleb moved his leg from between hers so he could get the offending jeans off her body. His hands cupped her ass for a moment before moving down, taking jeans and panties with them. Her shoes were a nuisance he quickly rid himself of, and in seconds, she was standing in front of him gloriously naked.
Caleb let himself stare, enjoying the chance to see her in the bright office lighting. Her slim body was scarred, especialy her legs, but that didn’t detract from how beautiful she was to him. The scars only emphasized her strength, her resilience. He loved her soft, pale skin and the gentle curves of her hips and stomach. He loved the feminine strength that flowed through her limbs and the way she couldn’t hide the blush of arousal that spread up her torso. He loved the way her breathing sped as he watched her and the way she had to clench her fists to keep from reaching for him. She was perfect—everything he could have ever wanted in a woman, and right now, she was al his.
“I love you,” he told her, unable to hold it in any longer.
He watched as that sensual smile fel from her face, as that deep blush of arousal faded and she went pale. He watched as she covered herself with her arms, trying to shield her naked body from his sight. “No,” she whispered in horror.
It wasn’t the kind of reaction a man wanted to see in a woman when he confessed love, and Caleb felt her rejection like a physical blow.
Lana scrambled for her clothes, her hands shaking as she slid her jeans up over her hips, not bothering to zip them so she could look for her shirt.
“Lana,” he said, trying to figure out what she was thinking, what he’d done wrong. He reached for her arm, but she jerked away.
“Don’t touch me,” she snapped, and then calmer: “Please don’t touch me.”
Anger glowed in Caleb’s gut. He’d told her he loved her, and she acted like he’d just said he was a child molester. “What the hel is wrong with you?” he demanded.
“You’re wrong,” she told him in a clipped voice. She puled her shirt on over her head, not taking time to put her bra back on. “You don’t love me.”
“How do you know how I feel?”
“I just do. It’s your hormones talking.”
“Like hel. I’ve had hormones for a long time, had plenty of sex, too, but you’re the first woman I’ve ever loved.”
She flinched as if he’d hit her. “Please don’t do this,” she begged.
“Do what? I can’t help that I love you. Most women would be happy to hear those words.” And then he belatedly realized, “At least they would if they cared anything about the guy saying them.”
Lana looked up at him with her blue eyes ful of guilt, and Caleb knew the truth. Suddenly, he felt every ache in his battered body, every stinging cut. “That’s it, isn’t it? I’m just a convenience for you, aren’t I? Just a casual fuck to help you sleep at night?”
“Caleb, it’s not like that.”
“The hel it isn’t. If you gave a shit about me, then it wouldn’t be like that, but you don’t. You don’t want me to love you, because you know you can never love me back.”
“Caleb, please.”
“Please what? Please leave? Please don’t stop fucking you? Please what, Lana? Spel it out for me.”
She bowed her head in defeat, making him ache to take her into his arms. He loved her, wanted to soothe her, but it was his love that had made her need comfort in the first place.
What a joke that was. A fucking riot.
“I just want to . . . forget about this,” she told him. “Just let it drop.”
“I tel you I love you and you want to forget about it?” That made him feel like the world’s biggest loser.
“I don’t mean to hurt you, Caleb. But I can’t give you what you want.”
“What do you think I want?”
“A future. Hope.” She let out a heavy sigh of regret that vibrated with a restrained sob. “I don’t have any hope to spare. You deserve a woman who does.”
He didn’t want another woman. He wanted Lana, and knowing she didn’t want him was tearing him apart. His heart was in shreds, and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it. Lana didn’t want him.
He should have known better than to hope that she would. He’d warned himself about this very thing happening. Don’t get too close, don’t care, she can’t ever have feelings for the man who helped ruin her life. The man who let her be brutalized.
Caleb wanted to blame her for her rejection. He wanted to be furious at her and tie her down until she gave in and professed her undying love for him. He wanted to go back in time and relive the past—find some way to prevent her torture.
The smal room was mostly empty, with just a few boxes of files stacked to one side and a broken office chair in the corner. “This wil be my office when the lease on the other one runs out,” she told him. “No one wil bother us here.”
The fluorescent lights flickered on with a low buzz, and Lana shut and locked the door behind her. They were al alone.
Caleb felt that consuming need to touch her again. His fingers slid up over one bare arm. She gave a delicate shiver but didn’t try to stop him. No matter what lies were standing between them, in this, she was honest. Her reaction to his touch was without guile or secrecy.
“Are you realy okay?” she asked.
“I am now.”
“Did anyone else get hurt?”
“No.”
“Good. That’s good.”
“Do you know who he is?” asked Caleb.
“No,” she said. “I saw his face for a second. I didn’t recognize him.”
Caleb sensed she was teling the truth. “He’s unconscious. Do you want to get a better look? A second isn’t very long to identify someone, especialy when they’re armed.”
Her body tensed, and she nearly dropped the bottle of disinfectant she was holding. “No. I don’t want to see him. My memory for faces is good, and I don’t want to start seeing his when I close my eyes at night.”
Caleb didn’t push. He’d be able to get photos for her to look at if she changed her mind. It would be easier on her than looking at the man himself. “He won’t be able to hurt you now.”
Lana nodded but said nothing. She swabbed disinfectant over his cut knuckles. Caleb ignored the sting and watched her tend him in silence. Her fingers shook, but she didn’t falter.
“I think you can stop. I’m not even bleeding anymore.”
She swalowed and nodded again. “Anyplace else hurt?”
His blood was stil hot with adrenaline, his body ready for a fight. Or sex. That would work, too. In fact, it sounded like a great idea. “Depends. Are you going to kiss it and make it better?”
“Don’t joke.”
“Who’s joking? I want you. Right here. Right now.”
Her eyes darkened, and she swayed toward him. “You could have been kiled.”
“I wasn’t. We’re both safe.”
Caleb stepped closer, puling her body against his, heedless of the dirt and sweat of combat on his torso. Lana wasn’t complaining, either. Her skin was warm from the sun, making the honeysuckle and woman scent of her rise up to his nose. Caleb breathed in, holding her essence inside him for as long as he could before letting it out.
“I shouldn’t be turned on right now.”
“Survival instinct. Perfectly normal.” He couldn’t even form a complete sentence anymore, and he had to kiss her. He pinned her against the door and lowered his mouth to hers. Lana’s lips parted without hesitation, and his tongue swept inside her mouth to taste her. Home. She tasted like coming home felt. Sweet and warm and inviting.
He told her with his lips and tongue how much he wanted this. Wanted her. His kiss was hard and demanding, giving her no room to back away.
Lana melted inside his hold and returned his kiss with a sense of desperation, though whether she was desperate for more of him, or desperate to forget the kiler on the roof, he couldn’t tel.
Lana’s hands slid up under his shirt over his abdomen. Slender fingers twined through the hair on his chest, pressing into the muscle beneath. “I love the way you feel,” she told him in a rough whisper against his mouth.
The L-word left him reeling, making his hopes soar. He wanted her to love him, needed it. Needed it so bad he thought his skin would ignite.
Caleb kissed his way over her jaw and down her neck, swirling his tongue as he went. He’d used every one of his powers of observation to gauge her reactions to his touch so that he could learn her most sensitive spots. He wanted to please her like no other man ever had, and he put his monumental force of wil behind the task of learning her body. It hadn’t taken long, because Lana was such a responsive woman. She didn’t hold back teling him with her sighs and moans and shivers what she liked best, and right now, Caleb wanted to show her just what he’d learned.
His lips teased the joint of her neck and shoulder—the exact spot he knew drove her crazy. He let her anticipation build, let her know with the light scraping of his teeth what he was going to do, let her want it. Then, when she was panting and clutching at him, Caleb pressed his teeth against her skin, reveling in the hiss of pleasure she gave him.
“More,” she breathed. “I love that.”
There it was again. The L-word that he wanted to hear with a longing so deep it left him aching.
Caleb smiled and licked away the sting of his teeth. He puled back enough to look into her eyes. They were the rich blue of deep ocean water, heavy-lidded with desire.
Lana tugged at his shirt, unable to get it off without his help. He swept it off over his head and tossed it onto the broken chair. “Your turn,” he told her as he reached for the hem of her shirt.
hem of her shirt.
She let him strip it off of her and reached behind her to unhook her bra. Caleb’s jeans tightened as he watched the guileless striptease. Finaly, her perfectly shaped breasts were bare to him, and he lowered his mouth to one tight pink nipple, unable to resist.
Lana’s body arched toward him, and her hands wrapped around his dark head to hold him in place while he loved her with his mouth. He suckled gently, then harder, figuring out what she wanted, what would give her the most pleasure.
He thrust one thick thigh between her legs and lifted her up so that her center was pressed hard against him, her feet barely reaching the ground. His knee complained, but he didn’t listen. Lana’s hips shifted, grinding herself against his hard muscles as he moved his mouth to her other breast. The sight of her nipple, red and wet and distended from his attention, made him groan aloud, and he cupped her bottom to pul her more firmly against his leg.
Lana’s fingernails bit into his scalp, and a dark flush rose up over her breasts and throat. She was making soft little mewling noises that drove Caleb crazy. He had to get inside her, had to feel the wet heat of her body surround him and drive away his insanity.
Caleb attacked the button of her jeans and tugged the zipper down with a jerk. His hands slid inside her clothing, caressing sunlight-soft skin.
Lana breathed out a jagged sigh and puled his head up for an open-mouthed, devouring kiss. Caleb moved his leg from between hers so he could get the offending jeans off her body. His hands cupped her ass for a moment before moving down, taking jeans and panties with them. Her shoes were a nuisance he quickly rid himself of, and in seconds, she was standing in front of him gloriously naked.
Caleb let himself stare, enjoying the chance to see her in the bright office lighting. Her slim body was scarred, especialy her legs, but that didn’t detract from how beautiful she was to him. The scars only emphasized her strength, her resilience. He loved her soft, pale skin and the gentle curves of her hips and stomach. He loved the feminine strength that flowed through her limbs and the way she couldn’t hide the blush of arousal that spread up her torso. He loved the way her breathing sped as he watched her and the way she had to clench her fists to keep from reaching for him. She was perfect—everything he could have ever wanted in a woman, and right now, she was al his.
“I love you,” he told her, unable to hold it in any longer.
He watched as that sensual smile fel from her face, as that deep blush of arousal faded and she went pale. He watched as she covered herself with her arms, trying to shield her naked body from his sight. “No,” she whispered in horror.
It wasn’t the kind of reaction a man wanted to see in a woman when he confessed love, and Caleb felt her rejection like a physical blow.
Lana scrambled for her clothes, her hands shaking as she slid her jeans up over her hips, not bothering to zip them so she could look for her shirt.
“Lana,” he said, trying to figure out what she was thinking, what he’d done wrong. He reached for her arm, but she jerked away.
“Don’t touch me,” she snapped, and then calmer: “Please don’t touch me.”
Anger glowed in Caleb’s gut. He’d told her he loved her, and she acted like he’d just said he was a child molester. “What the hel is wrong with you?” he demanded.
“You’re wrong,” she told him in a clipped voice. She puled her shirt on over her head, not taking time to put her bra back on. “You don’t love me.”
“How do you know how I feel?”
“I just do. It’s your hormones talking.”
“Like hel. I’ve had hormones for a long time, had plenty of sex, too, but you’re the first woman I’ve ever loved.”
She flinched as if he’d hit her. “Please don’t do this,” she begged.
“Do what? I can’t help that I love you. Most women would be happy to hear those words.” And then he belatedly realized, “At least they would if they cared anything about the guy saying them.”
Lana looked up at him with her blue eyes ful of guilt, and Caleb knew the truth. Suddenly, he felt every ache in his battered body, every stinging cut. “That’s it, isn’t it? I’m just a convenience for you, aren’t I? Just a casual fuck to help you sleep at night?”
“Caleb, it’s not like that.”
“The hel it isn’t. If you gave a shit about me, then it wouldn’t be like that, but you don’t. You don’t want me to love you, because you know you can never love me back.”
“Caleb, please.”
“Please what? Please leave? Please don’t stop fucking you? Please what, Lana? Spel it out for me.”
She bowed her head in defeat, making him ache to take her into his arms. He loved her, wanted to soothe her, but it was his love that had made her need comfort in the first place.
What a joke that was. A fucking riot.
“I just want to . . . forget about this,” she told him. “Just let it drop.”
“I tel you I love you and you want to forget about it?” That made him feel like the world’s biggest loser.
“I don’t mean to hurt you, Caleb. But I can’t give you what you want.”
“What do you think I want?”
“A future. Hope.” She let out a heavy sigh of regret that vibrated with a restrained sob. “I don’t have any hope to spare. You deserve a woman who does.”
He didn’t want another woman. He wanted Lana, and knowing she didn’t want him was tearing him apart. His heart was in shreds, and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it. Lana didn’t want him.
He should have known better than to hope that she would. He’d warned himself about this very thing happening. Don’t get too close, don’t care, she can’t ever have feelings for the man who helped ruin her life. The man who let her be brutalized.
Caleb wanted to blame her for her rejection. He wanted to be furious at her and tie her down until she gave in and professed her undying love for him. He wanted to go back in time and relive the past—find some way to prevent her torture.
