Once and Always
Page 86
“And you let her go?” Jason exploded at the servants, passing a contemptuous glance over all of them. “You let an overemotional woman, who’s completely inept at the reins, take off in a storm with enough food to last her for a month, and not one of you had the brains to stop her!” His eyes sliced over the groom. “You heard her tell the dog they were ‘free at last’ and you didn’t think that was peculiar?”
Without waiting for a reply, he turned his dagger gaze on Northrup, who was standing like a proud man before a firing squad, prepared to meet a terrible and unjust fate. “Tell me again, exactly what she said to you,” Jason snapped.
“I asked her ladyship what I should tell you when you returned,” Northrup said stiffly. “She said, ‘Tell him I said good-bye.’ ”
“And that didn’t sound a damned bit odd to you?” Jason bit out. “A new bride leaves the house and says to tell her husband good-bye!”
Northrup flushed to the roots of his white hair. “Considering other things, my lord, it did not seem ‘odd.’ ”
Jason stopped pacing and stared at him in blank fury. “Considering what ‘other things’?” he demanded.
“Considering what you said to me when you left the house an hour before her ladyship did, I naturally assumed the two of you were not in accord, and that her ladyship was distressed about it.”
“Considering what I said when I left?” Jason demanded murderously. “What the hell did I say?”
Northrup’s thin lips quivered with resentment. “When you left the house this morning, I bade you have a good day.”
“And?” Jason gritted.
“And you told me you had already made other plans. I naturally assumed that meant you did not intend to have a good day and so, when her ladyship came down, I assumed you were not in accord.”
“It’s too damn bad you didn’t ‘assume’ she was leaving me and try to stop her.”
Victoria’s heart ached with remorse. Jason thought she had left him, and for a man as proud as he to admit such a thing to his servants, he must be beside himself. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined he would jump to that conclusion, but now that she knew what Melissa had done, she could understand why he had. Determined to save his pride, she summoned up a bright, conciliatory smile and crossed the thick Aubusson carpet to his side. “Northrup would never be so silly as to think I would leave you, my lord,” she said brightly, tucking her hand in Jason’s arm.
Jason whirled around so violently that he nearly pulled her off her feet. Victoria recovered her balance and said softly, “I may be ‘overemotional,’ but I hope I’m not a complete fool.”
Jason’s eyes blazed with relief—a relief that was instantly replaced by fury. “Where in hell have you been?” he hissed.
Victoria took pity on the mortified servants and said contritely, “You’ve every right to scold me, and I can tell you intend to, but I hope you won’t do it in front of the servants.”
Jason clamped his jaws together so tightly that a nerve pulsed in his cheek as he bit back his wrath and nodded his head in the general direction of the servants, curtly dismissing them. In the charged silence that followed, the servants rushed out of the room, the last one closing the door behind him. The instant the door closed, Jason’s wrath erupted. “You idiot!” he bit out between clenched teeth. “I’ve turned the countryside upside down looking for you.”
Victoria looked at his handsome, ruggedly hewn face with its stern, sensual mouth and hard jaw, but what she saw was a helpless, dirty little boy with dark curly hair being whipped because he was “evil.” A lump of poignant tenderness swelled in her throat and she unthinkingly laid her hand against his cheek. “I’m sorry,” she whispered achingly.
Jason jerked away from her touch, his brows snapping together over biting green eyes. “You’re sorry?” he mocked scathingly. “Sorry for what? Sorry for the men who are still out there, searching for a trace of you?” He turned away as if he couldn’t bear her closeness and walked over to the windows. “Sorry for the horse I rode into the ground?”
“I’m sorry you thought I was leaving you,” Victoria interrupted shakily. “I would never do that.”
He turned back to her, regarding her ironically. “Considering that yesterday you tried to leave me at the altar, and this morning you demanded a divorce, I find your last announcement somewhat astonishing. To what shall I attribute your freakish streak of fidelity this evening?”
Despite his outward attitude of sarcastic indifference, Victoria heard the clipped terseness in his voice when he referred to her leaving him at the altar, and her heart sank. Evidently that had bothered him very much.
“My lord—” she began softly.
“Oh, for God’s sake!” he snapped. “Stop calling me your lord and don’t grovel. I despise groveling.”
“I was not groveling!” Victoria said, and in her mind saw him kneeling beneath a black, uncoiling whip. She had to clear the tears from her throat before she could go on. “What I started to say was that I only tried to take the extra food to the orphanage today. I’m sorry I worried you, and I won’t do it again.”
He stared at her, the anger draining out of him. “You’re free to do whatever you want to do, Victoria,” he said wearily. “This marriage was the greatest mistake of my life.”
Victoria hesitated, knowing nothing she could say would change his mind when he was in this mood, and finally excused herself to change her gown. He did not have supper with her, and she went to bed that night thinking he would surely join her there—if for no other reason than to hold her to her bargain to give him a son.
Jason did not join her that night, nor for the next three. In fact, he went out of his way to completely avoid her. He worked in his study all day, dictating letters to his secretary, Mr. Benjamin, and meeting with men who came from London to talk to him about investments and shipping and all sorts of unfathomable business transactions. If he encountered Victoria at meals or passed her in the halls, he greeted her politely but without familiarity, as if she were a stranger to him.
When he was finished working, he went upstairs, changed his clothes, and drove off to London.
Since Caroline had gone to the south of England to visit one of her brothers whose wife was soon to give birth, Victoria spent most of her time at the orphanage, organizing games for the children, and paying calls upon the villagers so that they would continue to feel easy in her company. But no matter how busy she kept, she still missed Jason very much. In London, he had spent a good deal of time with her. He had escorted her nearly everywhere she went, to balls and parties and plays, and although he didn’t remain by her side, she had known he was there—watchful, protective. She missed his teasing remarks, she even missed his scowl. In the weeks since Andrew’s mother’s letter had come, Jason had become her friend, and a very special one.
Without waiting for a reply, he turned his dagger gaze on Northrup, who was standing like a proud man before a firing squad, prepared to meet a terrible and unjust fate. “Tell me again, exactly what she said to you,” Jason snapped.
“I asked her ladyship what I should tell you when you returned,” Northrup said stiffly. “She said, ‘Tell him I said good-bye.’ ”
“And that didn’t sound a damned bit odd to you?” Jason bit out. “A new bride leaves the house and says to tell her husband good-bye!”
Northrup flushed to the roots of his white hair. “Considering other things, my lord, it did not seem ‘odd.’ ”
Jason stopped pacing and stared at him in blank fury. “Considering what ‘other things’?” he demanded.
“Considering what you said to me when you left the house an hour before her ladyship did, I naturally assumed the two of you were not in accord, and that her ladyship was distressed about it.”
“Considering what I said when I left?” Jason demanded murderously. “What the hell did I say?”
Northrup’s thin lips quivered with resentment. “When you left the house this morning, I bade you have a good day.”
“And?” Jason gritted.
“And you told me you had already made other plans. I naturally assumed that meant you did not intend to have a good day and so, when her ladyship came down, I assumed you were not in accord.”
“It’s too damn bad you didn’t ‘assume’ she was leaving me and try to stop her.”
Victoria’s heart ached with remorse. Jason thought she had left him, and for a man as proud as he to admit such a thing to his servants, he must be beside himself. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined he would jump to that conclusion, but now that she knew what Melissa had done, she could understand why he had. Determined to save his pride, she summoned up a bright, conciliatory smile and crossed the thick Aubusson carpet to his side. “Northrup would never be so silly as to think I would leave you, my lord,” she said brightly, tucking her hand in Jason’s arm.
Jason whirled around so violently that he nearly pulled her off her feet. Victoria recovered her balance and said softly, “I may be ‘overemotional,’ but I hope I’m not a complete fool.”
Jason’s eyes blazed with relief—a relief that was instantly replaced by fury. “Where in hell have you been?” he hissed.
Victoria took pity on the mortified servants and said contritely, “You’ve every right to scold me, and I can tell you intend to, but I hope you won’t do it in front of the servants.”
Jason clamped his jaws together so tightly that a nerve pulsed in his cheek as he bit back his wrath and nodded his head in the general direction of the servants, curtly dismissing them. In the charged silence that followed, the servants rushed out of the room, the last one closing the door behind him. The instant the door closed, Jason’s wrath erupted. “You idiot!” he bit out between clenched teeth. “I’ve turned the countryside upside down looking for you.”
Victoria looked at his handsome, ruggedly hewn face with its stern, sensual mouth and hard jaw, but what she saw was a helpless, dirty little boy with dark curly hair being whipped because he was “evil.” A lump of poignant tenderness swelled in her throat and she unthinkingly laid her hand against his cheek. “I’m sorry,” she whispered achingly.
Jason jerked away from her touch, his brows snapping together over biting green eyes. “You’re sorry?” he mocked scathingly. “Sorry for what? Sorry for the men who are still out there, searching for a trace of you?” He turned away as if he couldn’t bear her closeness and walked over to the windows. “Sorry for the horse I rode into the ground?”
“I’m sorry you thought I was leaving you,” Victoria interrupted shakily. “I would never do that.”
He turned back to her, regarding her ironically. “Considering that yesterday you tried to leave me at the altar, and this morning you demanded a divorce, I find your last announcement somewhat astonishing. To what shall I attribute your freakish streak of fidelity this evening?”
Despite his outward attitude of sarcastic indifference, Victoria heard the clipped terseness in his voice when he referred to her leaving him at the altar, and her heart sank. Evidently that had bothered him very much.
“My lord—” she began softly.
“Oh, for God’s sake!” he snapped. “Stop calling me your lord and don’t grovel. I despise groveling.”
“I was not groveling!” Victoria said, and in her mind saw him kneeling beneath a black, uncoiling whip. She had to clear the tears from her throat before she could go on. “What I started to say was that I only tried to take the extra food to the orphanage today. I’m sorry I worried you, and I won’t do it again.”
He stared at her, the anger draining out of him. “You’re free to do whatever you want to do, Victoria,” he said wearily. “This marriage was the greatest mistake of my life.”
Victoria hesitated, knowing nothing she could say would change his mind when he was in this mood, and finally excused herself to change her gown. He did not have supper with her, and she went to bed that night thinking he would surely join her there—if for no other reason than to hold her to her bargain to give him a son.
Jason did not join her that night, nor for the next three. In fact, he went out of his way to completely avoid her. He worked in his study all day, dictating letters to his secretary, Mr. Benjamin, and meeting with men who came from London to talk to him about investments and shipping and all sorts of unfathomable business transactions. If he encountered Victoria at meals or passed her in the halls, he greeted her politely but without familiarity, as if she were a stranger to him.
When he was finished working, he went upstairs, changed his clothes, and drove off to London.
Since Caroline had gone to the south of England to visit one of her brothers whose wife was soon to give birth, Victoria spent most of her time at the orphanage, organizing games for the children, and paying calls upon the villagers so that they would continue to feel easy in her company. But no matter how busy she kept, she still missed Jason very much. In London, he had spent a good deal of time with her. He had escorted her nearly everywhere she went, to balls and parties and plays, and although he didn’t remain by her side, she had known he was there—watchful, protective. She missed his teasing remarks, she even missed his scowl. In the weeks since Andrew’s mother’s letter had come, Jason had become her friend, and a very special one.
