Only Mine
Page 34
“You need to give him the chance to surprise you,” Montana murmured. “Maybe he will.”
Dakota nodded because she didn’t want to fight, but she knew the truth was very different.
THAT NIGHT Dakota felt restless. She couldn’t forget her argument with her sister, and she couldn’t ignore the voice in her head saying that she was hiding rather than being honest. That both she and Finn deserved better.
When she let him in that night, she had a marinara sauce simmering and soft music playing. Hannah had already drifted off for her dinnertime nap.
“Hey,” Finn said, as he walked into her small house. “How was your first day away from TV? Do you miss the excitement of working in the entertainment industry?”
He smiled as he spoke, his blue eyes crinkling slightly. He was tall and handsome and strong. He was someone she could lean on.
Maybe she’d never fallen in love before because she hadn’t found the right guy. There had always been a nagging sense of something missing. With Finn, she felt full…complete.
If only.
She waited until he closed the front door, then stepped into his arms. As she wrapped her arms around him, she drew his head down so she could kiss him. Telling him how she felt was a one-way road to disaster, but showing him… That might be different.
She pressed her mouth against his, letting all the frustration, the love, the worry, spill into her kiss. He held on tight, as if sensing she needed to be close. He kissed her back, his tongue tangling with hers, his body surging close.
Hunger flared to life, but it was about so much more than sex. It was about him and what they could have together.
Wordlessly, she reached for his hand and tugged him through the living room, down the hall and into her bedroom. With the door open, they could easily hear Hannah if she cried.
Once in the dimness of her bedroom, she turned to him. There were questions in his eyes, but he didn’t ask anything. Apparently he knew she needed more than conversation.
He put his hands on the hem of her T-shirt and pulled it over her head. She unfastened her bra. When she was na**d to the waist, he bent down and drew her already tight nipple into his mouth. He used his hand to tease her other breast.
His mouth was warm. His tongue aroused her, flicking the tip over her nipple. With each deep tug, she felt herself swelling and readying. Only it wasn’t enough. She wanted more than this. She wanted all of him, on top of her, filling her, taking her. She needed him. She needed the connection.
Again, he read her mind. He reached for the button on her jeans. She undid it for him, then pushed down her clothes. Immediately he slipped his hand between her legs. She was already wet. With his thumb, he found her center. As he rubbed that sensitive knot of flesh, he pushed two fingers inside of her.
Sensations assaulted her. From his mouth at her br**sts to his hand stroking, massaging, pushing. He went in deeper, finding all the places that made her gasp. Even though she hung on to him, her legs began to tremble. She was having trouble staying upright. But she didn’t want him to stop. She didn’t want anything to distract him from the way he made her feel.
Tension filled her. Tension and pleasure and an unrelenting desire to be swept away into an ocean of satisfaction. She was getting closer and closer, so close that—
He stopped. She cried out her protest, not sure what was happening. Before she could say anything, he’d pushed her back onto the bed. She sat on the edge of the mattress, and then he was on his knees, parting her legs, replacing his thumb with his tongue. He kissed her intimately, even as he thrust his fingers back inside of her.
The feel of his tongue, his breath, the fullness was too much. She barely had time to register the pleasure when she was tumbling into her release. She cried out as her body shuddered.
The waves came again and again until she was limp. Then he was standing and fumbling with his clothes. As he sent his shirt, shoes, socks, jeans and boxers flying, she scrambled up a little higher on the bed. He joined her seconds later.
“Dakota,” he breathed, as he pushed into her.
She welcomed him, wrapping her legs around his h*ps and drawing him closer. Usually she closed her eyes, but this time she kept them open, watching him watch her. They were connected. She felt what he felt, knew his anticipation, experienced the tension. As he got closer, so did she. The need for more grew until there was nothing to do but come together.
She clung to him as he held on to her. The night closed around them until it seemed as if they had always been together and that they could never ever be apart.
I love you.
She thought the words but didn’t speak them. She knew once she said them, she would have to tell him the truth, and then those words would be a trap. A way to make him feel obligated.
If only.
The wish was like a prayer, sent out into the cosmos. Was having the one man she’d waited her whole life to find too much to ask?
Even as the question formed, she heard Hannah’s soft sigh and had her answer. She’d already been given so much. There was no way she could have it all.
She might not be able to keep Finn, but she would have his baby, and somehow, she would make that enough.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“YOU’RE KILLING ME,” Bill said, his voice surprisingly clear considering he was twelve hundred miles away. “We’re starting our busy season, Finn. You’ve got to get back here or you’ve got to cut me loose.”
“I know,” Finn said, clutching the cell phone. “Just give me another week.”
“To do what? You said the show was over. That your brothers were done with it. What more is there to do in that damn town?”
An excellent question, Finn thought. He should be jumping on the first plane back to Alaska. And he wasn’t. He kept having this feeling that there was more to do here.
“It’s that woman, isn’t it?”
“Dakota? Some of it is her.” He hadn’t meant to get involved. He didn’t want to get close to anyone. But there was something about her. Something that appealed to him. Walking away was going to be harder than he’d expected.
“Are you thinking about staying?”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure of anything. Look, Bill, I know this is unfair. I know you’re working your ass off. Just give me a week. I’ll have an answer then.”
His friend sighed. “Fine. A week. But no longer. And you are going to seriously owe me.”
“I know. Whatever you want, it’s yours.”
Bill chuckled. “Like I believe that. Talk to you in a week. If you don’t call me, I’m selling your half of the business to the first person who offers me a nickel.”
“Fair enough.” Finn ended the call.
He stood on the tarmac of the Fool’s Gold airport and looked at the planes. He could make a life here, if that was what he wanted. The question was, did he? He’d been responsible for so damn long, and he’d told himself that when he got his brothers raised, he was done. He was only going to think about himself, do what he wanted.
Now that he was free, being alone wasn’t quite so appealing. He’d gotten used to being part of the family. Part of something. Did he want to walk away from that? Did it have to be all or nothing?
“What did your partner say?” Hamilton asked.
Finn had mentioned having to phone Bill. “He’s not happy I’m still here. I told him I’d make a decision within the next week.”
Hamilton raised his bushy gray eyebrows. “You thinking about buying me out? I can have some papers drawn up.”
The old man offered him the business nearly every time he reported for work. The price was fair, and there was plenty of potential to grow. Finn had some ideas about scheduled shipping routes and passenger service. If he wanted to stay.
“I’ll let you know in the next week, as well.”
“What’s so special about the next seven days?” Hamilton asked. “You reading tea leaves or something?”
“Not yet. I need to figure some things out.”
Hamilton shook his head. “You young people today. Never wanting to make a decision. I know what’s keeping you here. It’s that girl in town. She seems pretty enough to me, but then what do I know? I’ve been married nearly forty years.” He grinned. “Take it from an old man. Marriage is a good way to go.”
Marriage? Is that what they were talking about? He knew in his head it was a logical next step, but the thought of it made him take a step back. Dakota had a daughter. Was he ready to be a father? Hadn’t he already done that with his brothers?
He supposed it came down to his feelings for Dakota. He knew he liked her. She had been an unexpected find in what could have been a terrible situation. She was supportive and caring. He liked watching her with Hannah. She was a good mother and a good friend. She would probably make a great wife. The thing was, he didn’t think he was looking for one.
“A week,” he repeated.
Hamilton raised his arm. “Fine by me. Take as long as you want. I think you like it here. I think you’re looking for an excuse to stay. If you were so hot to get back to Alaska, you’d already be gone. But then I’m just an old man.”
Finn grinned. “You say that a lot. That you’re an old man and what do you know, but you seem to have an opinion about everything.”
Hamilton laughed. “When you’re my age, boy, you’ll have an opinion about everything, too.”
SUNDAY MORNING, Dakota joined her sisters at her mother’s house for an informal brunch. It was getting warmer and warmer as they headed for the summer months. Today, Denise had set the table on the patio. There was a bowl of fresh fruit, juice, pastries and an egg casserole. The scent of fresh coffee competed with the delicate aroma of flowers in the morning.
Dakota held Hannah on her lap. The little girl was doing well in her high chair, but this many people would be a distraction. It was easier to keep one arm around her squirming body as she reached out toward her aunt and her grandmother.
“So how was the date?” Nevada asked. She poured herself a cup of coffee, then passed the pot to Montana. “Did you do anything wild and get arrested?”
Denise sipped her juice, then put the glass on the table and leaned back in her chair. “It was fine.”
Montana laughed. “I don’t think he’s going to want your endorsement in a campaign. Fine? Did you have a good time? Did you like him? Start at the beginning and tell us everything.”
“He’s a perfectly nice man. We talked about a lot of different things. He’s funny, sort of. He’s well-traveled. It was fine. I wasn’t exactly expecting a life-changing event. It was just a date.”
Dakota thought about the time she spent with Finn. “Sometimes ‘just a date’ can be life-changing.”
“I’m not sure I believe that,” her mother said. “You have to get to know someone. Is there really love at first sight? I’m not sure. Maybe that’s only something that happens when you’re really young. When you don’t have to be cautious and careful.”
“Why do you have to be careful?” Nevada asked.
“A lot of reasons. I haven’t dated in over thirty years. I don’t know how the rules have changed. Plus I’m not a kid. I have responsibilities. I have children and grandchildren and a place in the community. I’m not going to run off with some biker just because he sets my thighs on fire.”
“I think I’d run off with the biker who set my thighs on fire,” Nevada said. She smiled. “Assuming you mean setting them on fire the good way and not with a match.”
“Well, of course. I’m not interested in dating a pyromaniac.” Denise shook her head. “It’s very complicated at my age. You girls don’t understand. You’re still very young. The rules aren’t the same for you.”
“Are you saying you were sexually attracted to him and you’re afraid to act on it?” Dakota asked, oddly terrified of the answer. She told herself that they were all adults here, and her mother was as much a sexual being as the rest of them. But it was still strange to be having this conversation with a parent.
“No. I was speaking theoretically.” Denise picked up her coffee. “There wasn’t any chemistry. We kissed.” She shuddered delicately. “Maybe I’m too old to have a man’s tongue in my mouth.”
Dakota did her best not to flinch. Nevada stiffened and Montana shrieked, then covered her ears with her hands.
“I can’t,” Montana said. “I know it’s not mature, but I just can’t have you talking about this. It’s icky.” She dropped her hands. “Not icky exactly, but just too much information.”
Hannah clapped her hands and laughed at her aunt’s antics.
“At least you’re amused,” Dakota told her little girl, then kissed the top of her head. She turned her attention to her mother. “While I’m willing to be more mature about this than my sister, I will admit that it’s strange to talk about you having a sex life. But as a trained professional, I will listen.”
Denise laughed. “You girls are ridiculous. I’m talking about French kissing. It’s not like I described twenty minutes of intercourse.”
Montana covered her ears again and started humming. Nevada looked like she was ready to bolt.
“It’s probably best you didn’t have sex on the first date,” Dakota said, hoping she sounded calm and reasonable. She was completely with her sisters. Anywhere but here. Parental sex discussions should be illegal. “It’s been a long time for you. You were married to Dad for all those years and now you’ve been a widow for a decade. Starting the dating game slowly makes the most sense.”
Dakota nodded because she didn’t want to fight, but she knew the truth was very different.
THAT NIGHT Dakota felt restless. She couldn’t forget her argument with her sister, and she couldn’t ignore the voice in her head saying that she was hiding rather than being honest. That both she and Finn deserved better.
When she let him in that night, she had a marinara sauce simmering and soft music playing. Hannah had already drifted off for her dinnertime nap.
“Hey,” Finn said, as he walked into her small house. “How was your first day away from TV? Do you miss the excitement of working in the entertainment industry?”
He smiled as he spoke, his blue eyes crinkling slightly. He was tall and handsome and strong. He was someone she could lean on.
Maybe she’d never fallen in love before because she hadn’t found the right guy. There had always been a nagging sense of something missing. With Finn, she felt full…complete.
If only.
She waited until he closed the front door, then stepped into his arms. As she wrapped her arms around him, she drew his head down so she could kiss him. Telling him how she felt was a one-way road to disaster, but showing him… That might be different.
She pressed her mouth against his, letting all the frustration, the love, the worry, spill into her kiss. He held on tight, as if sensing she needed to be close. He kissed her back, his tongue tangling with hers, his body surging close.
Hunger flared to life, but it was about so much more than sex. It was about him and what they could have together.
Wordlessly, she reached for his hand and tugged him through the living room, down the hall and into her bedroom. With the door open, they could easily hear Hannah if she cried.
Once in the dimness of her bedroom, she turned to him. There were questions in his eyes, but he didn’t ask anything. Apparently he knew she needed more than conversation.
He put his hands on the hem of her T-shirt and pulled it over her head. She unfastened her bra. When she was na**d to the waist, he bent down and drew her already tight nipple into his mouth. He used his hand to tease her other breast.
His mouth was warm. His tongue aroused her, flicking the tip over her nipple. With each deep tug, she felt herself swelling and readying. Only it wasn’t enough. She wanted more than this. She wanted all of him, on top of her, filling her, taking her. She needed him. She needed the connection.
Again, he read her mind. He reached for the button on her jeans. She undid it for him, then pushed down her clothes. Immediately he slipped his hand between her legs. She was already wet. With his thumb, he found her center. As he rubbed that sensitive knot of flesh, he pushed two fingers inside of her.
Sensations assaulted her. From his mouth at her br**sts to his hand stroking, massaging, pushing. He went in deeper, finding all the places that made her gasp. Even though she hung on to him, her legs began to tremble. She was having trouble staying upright. But she didn’t want him to stop. She didn’t want anything to distract him from the way he made her feel.
Tension filled her. Tension and pleasure and an unrelenting desire to be swept away into an ocean of satisfaction. She was getting closer and closer, so close that—
He stopped. She cried out her protest, not sure what was happening. Before she could say anything, he’d pushed her back onto the bed. She sat on the edge of the mattress, and then he was on his knees, parting her legs, replacing his thumb with his tongue. He kissed her intimately, even as he thrust his fingers back inside of her.
The feel of his tongue, his breath, the fullness was too much. She barely had time to register the pleasure when she was tumbling into her release. She cried out as her body shuddered.
The waves came again and again until she was limp. Then he was standing and fumbling with his clothes. As he sent his shirt, shoes, socks, jeans and boxers flying, she scrambled up a little higher on the bed. He joined her seconds later.
“Dakota,” he breathed, as he pushed into her.
She welcomed him, wrapping her legs around his h*ps and drawing him closer. Usually she closed her eyes, but this time she kept them open, watching him watch her. They were connected. She felt what he felt, knew his anticipation, experienced the tension. As he got closer, so did she. The need for more grew until there was nothing to do but come together.
She clung to him as he held on to her. The night closed around them until it seemed as if they had always been together and that they could never ever be apart.
I love you.
She thought the words but didn’t speak them. She knew once she said them, she would have to tell him the truth, and then those words would be a trap. A way to make him feel obligated.
If only.
The wish was like a prayer, sent out into the cosmos. Was having the one man she’d waited her whole life to find too much to ask?
Even as the question formed, she heard Hannah’s soft sigh and had her answer. She’d already been given so much. There was no way she could have it all.
She might not be able to keep Finn, but she would have his baby, and somehow, she would make that enough.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“YOU’RE KILLING ME,” Bill said, his voice surprisingly clear considering he was twelve hundred miles away. “We’re starting our busy season, Finn. You’ve got to get back here or you’ve got to cut me loose.”
“I know,” Finn said, clutching the cell phone. “Just give me another week.”
“To do what? You said the show was over. That your brothers were done with it. What more is there to do in that damn town?”
An excellent question, Finn thought. He should be jumping on the first plane back to Alaska. And he wasn’t. He kept having this feeling that there was more to do here.
“It’s that woman, isn’t it?”
“Dakota? Some of it is her.” He hadn’t meant to get involved. He didn’t want to get close to anyone. But there was something about her. Something that appealed to him. Walking away was going to be harder than he’d expected.
“Are you thinking about staying?”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure of anything. Look, Bill, I know this is unfair. I know you’re working your ass off. Just give me a week. I’ll have an answer then.”
His friend sighed. “Fine. A week. But no longer. And you are going to seriously owe me.”
“I know. Whatever you want, it’s yours.”
Bill chuckled. “Like I believe that. Talk to you in a week. If you don’t call me, I’m selling your half of the business to the first person who offers me a nickel.”
“Fair enough.” Finn ended the call.
He stood on the tarmac of the Fool’s Gold airport and looked at the planes. He could make a life here, if that was what he wanted. The question was, did he? He’d been responsible for so damn long, and he’d told himself that when he got his brothers raised, he was done. He was only going to think about himself, do what he wanted.
Now that he was free, being alone wasn’t quite so appealing. He’d gotten used to being part of the family. Part of something. Did he want to walk away from that? Did it have to be all or nothing?
“What did your partner say?” Hamilton asked.
Finn had mentioned having to phone Bill. “He’s not happy I’m still here. I told him I’d make a decision within the next week.”
Hamilton raised his bushy gray eyebrows. “You thinking about buying me out? I can have some papers drawn up.”
The old man offered him the business nearly every time he reported for work. The price was fair, and there was plenty of potential to grow. Finn had some ideas about scheduled shipping routes and passenger service. If he wanted to stay.
“I’ll let you know in the next week, as well.”
“What’s so special about the next seven days?” Hamilton asked. “You reading tea leaves or something?”
“Not yet. I need to figure some things out.”
Hamilton shook his head. “You young people today. Never wanting to make a decision. I know what’s keeping you here. It’s that girl in town. She seems pretty enough to me, but then what do I know? I’ve been married nearly forty years.” He grinned. “Take it from an old man. Marriage is a good way to go.”
Marriage? Is that what they were talking about? He knew in his head it was a logical next step, but the thought of it made him take a step back. Dakota had a daughter. Was he ready to be a father? Hadn’t he already done that with his brothers?
He supposed it came down to his feelings for Dakota. He knew he liked her. She had been an unexpected find in what could have been a terrible situation. She was supportive and caring. He liked watching her with Hannah. She was a good mother and a good friend. She would probably make a great wife. The thing was, he didn’t think he was looking for one.
“A week,” he repeated.
Hamilton raised his arm. “Fine by me. Take as long as you want. I think you like it here. I think you’re looking for an excuse to stay. If you were so hot to get back to Alaska, you’d already be gone. But then I’m just an old man.”
Finn grinned. “You say that a lot. That you’re an old man and what do you know, but you seem to have an opinion about everything.”
Hamilton laughed. “When you’re my age, boy, you’ll have an opinion about everything, too.”
SUNDAY MORNING, Dakota joined her sisters at her mother’s house for an informal brunch. It was getting warmer and warmer as they headed for the summer months. Today, Denise had set the table on the patio. There was a bowl of fresh fruit, juice, pastries and an egg casserole. The scent of fresh coffee competed with the delicate aroma of flowers in the morning.
Dakota held Hannah on her lap. The little girl was doing well in her high chair, but this many people would be a distraction. It was easier to keep one arm around her squirming body as she reached out toward her aunt and her grandmother.
“So how was the date?” Nevada asked. She poured herself a cup of coffee, then passed the pot to Montana. “Did you do anything wild and get arrested?”
Denise sipped her juice, then put the glass on the table and leaned back in her chair. “It was fine.”
Montana laughed. “I don’t think he’s going to want your endorsement in a campaign. Fine? Did you have a good time? Did you like him? Start at the beginning and tell us everything.”
“He’s a perfectly nice man. We talked about a lot of different things. He’s funny, sort of. He’s well-traveled. It was fine. I wasn’t exactly expecting a life-changing event. It was just a date.”
Dakota thought about the time she spent with Finn. “Sometimes ‘just a date’ can be life-changing.”
“I’m not sure I believe that,” her mother said. “You have to get to know someone. Is there really love at first sight? I’m not sure. Maybe that’s only something that happens when you’re really young. When you don’t have to be cautious and careful.”
“Why do you have to be careful?” Nevada asked.
“A lot of reasons. I haven’t dated in over thirty years. I don’t know how the rules have changed. Plus I’m not a kid. I have responsibilities. I have children and grandchildren and a place in the community. I’m not going to run off with some biker just because he sets my thighs on fire.”
“I think I’d run off with the biker who set my thighs on fire,” Nevada said. She smiled. “Assuming you mean setting them on fire the good way and not with a match.”
“Well, of course. I’m not interested in dating a pyromaniac.” Denise shook her head. “It’s very complicated at my age. You girls don’t understand. You’re still very young. The rules aren’t the same for you.”
“Are you saying you were sexually attracted to him and you’re afraid to act on it?” Dakota asked, oddly terrified of the answer. She told herself that they were all adults here, and her mother was as much a sexual being as the rest of them. But it was still strange to be having this conversation with a parent.
“No. I was speaking theoretically.” Denise picked up her coffee. “There wasn’t any chemistry. We kissed.” She shuddered delicately. “Maybe I’m too old to have a man’s tongue in my mouth.”
Dakota did her best not to flinch. Nevada stiffened and Montana shrieked, then covered her ears with her hands.
“I can’t,” Montana said. “I know it’s not mature, but I just can’t have you talking about this. It’s icky.” She dropped her hands. “Not icky exactly, but just too much information.”
Hannah clapped her hands and laughed at her aunt’s antics.
“At least you’re amused,” Dakota told her little girl, then kissed the top of her head. She turned her attention to her mother. “While I’m willing to be more mature about this than my sister, I will admit that it’s strange to talk about you having a sex life. But as a trained professional, I will listen.”
Denise laughed. “You girls are ridiculous. I’m talking about French kissing. It’s not like I described twenty minutes of intercourse.”
Montana covered her ears again and started humming. Nevada looked like she was ready to bolt.
“It’s probably best you didn’t have sex on the first date,” Dakota said, hoping she sounded calm and reasonable. She was completely with her sisters. Anywhere but here. Parental sex discussions should be illegal. “It’s been a long time for you. You were married to Dad for all those years and now you’ve been a widow for a decade. Starting the dating game slowly makes the most sense.”
