Only Yours
Page 16
“I don’t talk about it.”
“He’s a smart kid. He’s going to guess. Having you in pain hurts him. Don’t bother trying to tell me I’m wrong. I remember how you kids were every time I cried.”
He walked to the window and looked out. “Maybe.”
It wasn’t much of a concession, but she was going to take it all the same.
He turned toward her. “What about you? Are you really moving on with your life?”
“I’m dating,” she said. “So far not very successfully or with much enthusiasm, but I’m trying. You need to do the same.”
“Will you get off me if I say I’ll think about it?”
She smiled. “Of course.”
Which wasn’t exactly the truth. What she really meant was “for now.” But Kent didn’t need to know that. At least not yet.
CECE DROPPED THE SMALL BALL she held in her mouth and gazed at Kalinda expectantly. The girl giggled, picked up the ball and tossed it toward the end of the bed. Cece bounded toward it, captured it and returned to Kalinda’s side.
They’d been playing the game for nearly ten minutes. Even as Montana watched Kalinda start to tire, Cece dropped the ball and cuddled up next to her. The girl rubbed her back. Cece rolled over to get a tummy rub, as well.
“She trusts you,” Montana told her. “Cece doesn’t let just anyone rub her belly.”
Kalinda smiled. “I like her a lot.”
“She’s certainly helping,” Fay said from the other side of the bed, where she’d pulled up her usual chair.
“Can she stay longer tomorrow?” Kalinda asked, her blue eyes pleading. “Dr. Simon said she could.”
Fay’s expression turned wry. “We probably should have discussed it with you first. I’m sorry about that. We were talking about how Kalinda loves having Cece around. Dr. Bradley said we could use his office as a sort of home base for her. He hardly uses it at all and said she wouldn’t be any trouble.”
Montana supposed she should be pleased that Simon had come so far on the dog front. No longer just germy annoyances, the service animals had become a tool he could use for healing. Yay, her.
But she couldn’t get excited about the plan, mostly because he hadn’t bothered discussing it with her. Not surprising, considering she hadn’t seen him in nearly a week. To say he was avoiding her was to state the obvious.
It was her own fault, she thought sadly. First she’d assumed the worst about him and then she’d taken things too far. Why had she thought it was her place to fix anyone, let alone him? Why did she have to push things? If Simon had some weird ideas that got him through the day, who was she to tell him he was wrong?
But had she considered any of that? Of course not. She’d plowed ahead, pushing in where she wasn’t welcome, and now he was avoiding her and she really missed him.
Aware that Fay was waiting for a response, she forced a smile. “I think it’s a great idea to have Cece spend the day with the two of you. I can bring her in the morning and take her back in the evening. She’s crate trained.” She turned to Kalinda. “That means her dog crate is her home. She sleeps in it whenever she’s in the kennel. It makes her feel safe.”
Kalinda smiled. “It’s like she can take her bedroom with her.”
“Exactly,” Montana said. “I’ll bring the crate, along with some food and a couple of dishes. As long as she gets a walk once or twice in the morning and afternoon, she’ll be fine.”
“Thank you,” Fay breathed. “It sounds like a lot of work for you. You don’t have to bring her every day. Just when it’s convenient.”
Montana could see Kalinda wanted to disagree with her mother. Montana knew having the dog around helped the little girl. Much of her face was bandaged today, the skin Montana could see was red and angry. She was aware of the IV that delivered pain medication on a regular basis. The kid was going through enough. If having Cece around helped, Montana was going to bring her by.
“I’ll make it work,” she promised.
“Thank you,” Kalinda whispered, her eyes drifting closed. Beside her, Cece curled into a ball as if she’d figured out it was time to rest.
Fay and Montana walked toward the door.
“Did you get a chance to talk to her about my nephew?” Montana asked.
“I don’t want to see anyone,” Kalinda said.
Montana turned toward her. “Are you sure? Reese is your age. I was thinking you could play a game or something.”
“No! I don’t want to see anyone.”
Even as Montana asked herself when she was going to learn to butt out of other people’s business, she found herself asking, “Aren’t you lonely?”
Tears filled Kalinda’s eyes. “I can’t,” she whispered. “I can’t let anyone see me like this.”
Fay moved to her daughter’s side and took her uninjured hand. “Oh, honey. You can’t hide forever.”
“Why not? I’m a monster. I’m ugly.”
Sympathy and pain jumbled together in her chest. Montana remembered what Simon had said about making people normal. Would Kalinda ever get there?
“He really wants to meet you,” Montana said. “To be honest, Reese isn’t all that. I don’t think you’d have to worry.”
Kalinda stared at her for a long time. “You promise he won’t say anything?”
Hoping she was doing the right thing, she nodded. “Just ten minutes. If he gets on your nerves I’ll take him away and you never have to see him again. Is that fair?”
“Okay.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll give you plenty of warning.” She glanced at Fay. “Are you all right with this?”
“We both need to get back into the world,” Fay told her.
Having Reese stop by wasn’t exactly the same as the world, but it was a start. Now all she had to do was make sure everything went perfectly.
SIMON SAT IN HIS OFFICE, updating charts on his computer. Despite his laserlike focus, he was aware of a small dog carrier in the corner of the room, along with two dishes. One was filled with water, the other with kibble.
He’d agreed to let Cece use his office as a temporary home. Having her around helped Kalinda heal, which was his primary concern. But the cage or crate or whatever it was called distracted him. Stupid but true.
Worse, he found himself anticipating seeing the dog. She was small enough not to be a bother, and friendly. He’d never considered himself a pet person, but she wasn’t too bad.
He finished with the chart and leaned back in his chair. Who was he trying to kid? While he thought the dog was fine, the person he most wanted to see was Montana.
It had been eight days since that night. Eight days since he’d told her the truth about himself and she’d explained why he was wrong.
He’d always known no one would understand. Still, he’d found himself hoping she would get it, that she would see what he went through. She hadn’t.
He supposed the fault wasn’t hers. After all, she didn’t have any life experiences to prepare her for someone like him. Her world had been safe, kind. The most important person in her life hadn’t turned on her.
There was no resentment in the thought. Knowing that Montana believed in goodness and the kindness of strangers made him sleep easier at night.
He missed her. There it was—the uncomfortable truth. He missed looking at her and talking to her. He wanted to have her tell him about her life and then he wanted to make love with her. Slowly the first time, savoring all that he could, then taking her hard and fast, both of them breathless.
He closed his charts and stood. Before he could leave his office, someone knocked on the partially closed door.
“Come in,” he called.
Two men entered. They were about his height and age. One was blond. He recognized the other man. Ethan Hendrix. Simon had met him at the family picnic after the car accident.
“Are we interrupting?” Ethan asked.
“I was just finishing paperwork. Good to see you again.” The two men shook hands.
Ethan introduced his friend. “This is Josh Golden, the second most famous athlete in Fool’s Gold.”
Josh grinned. “Give me a break. You really think Raoul could ride a hundred and eighty-plus kilometers in the high mountain stage of the Tour de France?”
“Sure.”
Josh chuckled. “Right.” He turned to Simon. “Admit it. You’ve heard of me.”
Ethan laughed. “You don’t have to do any upper body workouts, do you? Carrying that ego around is more than enough.”
Josh laughed. “You’re jealous because all the ladies love me.”
“I’m only interested in one lady loving me. You can have the rest.”
Instead of looking pleased, Josh seemed to deflate. “Good point. I only want Charity, too. Well, damn. What am I supposed to do with the rest of them? Simon? Interested?”
He found himself agreeing that there was only one woman who had recently captured his attention. “I would be a poor substitute.”
They continued to banter with each other. Simon found himself enjoying the conversation, even though he wasn’t saying much. They had obviously been friends for a long time—something he missed with his lifestyle. He was never in one place long enough to make connections that lasted.
Without wanting to, he remembered being eleven and standing in his mother’s small kitchen. His ears were ringing from the backhanded slap that had just landed across his cheek.
“He’s a freak,” his mother’s boyfriend had complained, pulling back his arm to hit Simon again. “Make him stop looking at me.”
Instead of defending him, his mother had yelled for him to leave the room. As Simon had run away to his bedroom, he’d heard the man say he was a creepy kid. That there was something not right about him.
That wasn’t the first time Simon had heard the words. He didn’t know how to fit in. He was smarter than all the other kids—already skipping two grades. School came easily to him. He remembered wondering what it would be like to be just like everyone else.
Something he would never know, he thought, returning to the present.
“You golf?” Josh asked.
“You don’t have to ask,” Ethan said. “They have to learn it in medical school.”
Simon chuckled. “I missed that class, but I do play occasionally.”
“We heard you have the afternoon off. Pia has a houseful of women and is throwing Raoul out for the afternoon. Come with us. It’ll be fun.”
Although Simon didn’t know either of the men, he wanted to go with them. An afternoon away from the hospital would help clear his head.
“Let me tell them I’m leaving,” he said, picking up the phone. He paused and looked at them. “We play for money, right?”
Both men laughed.
“You’re going to fit right in,” Josh told him.
CHAPTER TEN
STEVE WAS AN ATTRACTIVE MAN. Tanned, fit, reasonably intelligent. He had blue eyes, which Denise liked. So far they’d talked about his job as a district manager for a computer parts distributor, the upcoming art festival in town and the weather.
She glanced surreptitiously at her watch and hoped the man sitting across from her didn’t notice. She held in a groan. Had it really just been twenty minutes? Thank God they were only having drinks.
“Do you come here often?” Steve asked.
“To the winery? No, I don’t get here much.” She looked around at the patio. Tables and chairs had been set out. The summer evening was warm, but a light breeze kept the temperature bearable. The mountains were to the east, the vineyard to the west. It was a perfect romantic setting. So why did she feel like banging her head against the table?
“I was reading in the paper that they’re having a good summer for grapes,” she said. “If the favorable weather continues, this is going to be one of those excellent years for California wines.”
She held in her second groan in the past three minutes. Talk about inane conversation.
Maybe it was the setting. Too forced. The truth was, she didn’t have that many places she could go on a first date. Living in Fool’s Gold meant she knew everyone and everyone knew her. Talk about a dating challenge, especially at her age.
“Do you get to Fool’s Gold often?” she asked.
He smiled. “No, but I could change that.”
Oops. She hadn’t seen that coming.
“So business is good?”
He leaned toward her. “Good and getting better. Technology is always changing and people want to keep up. In a lot of industries you have to wait until the equipment breaks. Think about it. Would you replace your washing machine just because there was a new, fancy model?”
“Of course not.”
“Right. No one would. But people think nothing of getting a new phone, just because it’s new. It’s a kind of built-in obsolescence.”
“You sound like you really enjoy your work.”
“I do. I like sales a lot and I really like having access to the newest toys.”
He pulled a slim phone out of his pocket, tapped on the dark surface and showed her the screen. It was a maze of little boxes. Apps—was that the word?
“I’m so the wrong person to try to impress,” she admitted. “I’ve had the same phone for two years. I’m terrified it’s going to stop working and I’ll have to figure out how to use a new one.”
“I could help you,” he said, meeting her gaze.
He was obviously interested, she thought with a sigh. She supposed she should be flattered and she was, a little. But while he was nice to look at and seemed charming enough, there was no…spark.
“He’s a smart kid. He’s going to guess. Having you in pain hurts him. Don’t bother trying to tell me I’m wrong. I remember how you kids were every time I cried.”
He walked to the window and looked out. “Maybe.”
It wasn’t much of a concession, but she was going to take it all the same.
He turned toward her. “What about you? Are you really moving on with your life?”
“I’m dating,” she said. “So far not very successfully or with much enthusiasm, but I’m trying. You need to do the same.”
“Will you get off me if I say I’ll think about it?”
She smiled. “Of course.”
Which wasn’t exactly the truth. What she really meant was “for now.” But Kent didn’t need to know that. At least not yet.
CECE DROPPED THE SMALL BALL she held in her mouth and gazed at Kalinda expectantly. The girl giggled, picked up the ball and tossed it toward the end of the bed. Cece bounded toward it, captured it and returned to Kalinda’s side.
They’d been playing the game for nearly ten minutes. Even as Montana watched Kalinda start to tire, Cece dropped the ball and cuddled up next to her. The girl rubbed her back. Cece rolled over to get a tummy rub, as well.
“She trusts you,” Montana told her. “Cece doesn’t let just anyone rub her belly.”
Kalinda smiled. “I like her a lot.”
“She’s certainly helping,” Fay said from the other side of the bed, where she’d pulled up her usual chair.
“Can she stay longer tomorrow?” Kalinda asked, her blue eyes pleading. “Dr. Simon said she could.”
Fay’s expression turned wry. “We probably should have discussed it with you first. I’m sorry about that. We were talking about how Kalinda loves having Cece around. Dr. Bradley said we could use his office as a sort of home base for her. He hardly uses it at all and said she wouldn’t be any trouble.”
Montana supposed she should be pleased that Simon had come so far on the dog front. No longer just germy annoyances, the service animals had become a tool he could use for healing. Yay, her.
But she couldn’t get excited about the plan, mostly because he hadn’t bothered discussing it with her. Not surprising, considering she hadn’t seen him in nearly a week. To say he was avoiding her was to state the obvious.
It was her own fault, she thought sadly. First she’d assumed the worst about him and then she’d taken things too far. Why had she thought it was her place to fix anyone, let alone him? Why did she have to push things? If Simon had some weird ideas that got him through the day, who was she to tell him he was wrong?
But had she considered any of that? Of course not. She’d plowed ahead, pushing in where she wasn’t welcome, and now he was avoiding her and she really missed him.
Aware that Fay was waiting for a response, she forced a smile. “I think it’s a great idea to have Cece spend the day with the two of you. I can bring her in the morning and take her back in the evening. She’s crate trained.” She turned to Kalinda. “That means her dog crate is her home. She sleeps in it whenever she’s in the kennel. It makes her feel safe.”
Kalinda smiled. “It’s like she can take her bedroom with her.”
“Exactly,” Montana said. “I’ll bring the crate, along with some food and a couple of dishes. As long as she gets a walk once or twice in the morning and afternoon, she’ll be fine.”
“Thank you,” Fay breathed. “It sounds like a lot of work for you. You don’t have to bring her every day. Just when it’s convenient.”
Montana could see Kalinda wanted to disagree with her mother. Montana knew having the dog around helped the little girl. Much of her face was bandaged today, the skin Montana could see was red and angry. She was aware of the IV that delivered pain medication on a regular basis. The kid was going through enough. If having Cece around helped, Montana was going to bring her by.
“I’ll make it work,” she promised.
“Thank you,” Kalinda whispered, her eyes drifting closed. Beside her, Cece curled into a ball as if she’d figured out it was time to rest.
Fay and Montana walked toward the door.
“Did you get a chance to talk to her about my nephew?” Montana asked.
“I don’t want to see anyone,” Kalinda said.
Montana turned toward her. “Are you sure? Reese is your age. I was thinking you could play a game or something.”
“No! I don’t want to see anyone.”
Even as Montana asked herself when she was going to learn to butt out of other people’s business, she found herself asking, “Aren’t you lonely?”
Tears filled Kalinda’s eyes. “I can’t,” she whispered. “I can’t let anyone see me like this.”
Fay moved to her daughter’s side and took her uninjured hand. “Oh, honey. You can’t hide forever.”
“Why not? I’m a monster. I’m ugly.”
Sympathy and pain jumbled together in her chest. Montana remembered what Simon had said about making people normal. Would Kalinda ever get there?
“He really wants to meet you,” Montana said. “To be honest, Reese isn’t all that. I don’t think you’d have to worry.”
Kalinda stared at her for a long time. “You promise he won’t say anything?”
Hoping she was doing the right thing, she nodded. “Just ten minutes. If he gets on your nerves I’ll take him away and you never have to see him again. Is that fair?”
“Okay.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll give you plenty of warning.” She glanced at Fay. “Are you all right with this?”
“We both need to get back into the world,” Fay told her.
Having Reese stop by wasn’t exactly the same as the world, but it was a start. Now all she had to do was make sure everything went perfectly.
SIMON SAT IN HIS OFFICE, updating charts on his computer. Despite his laserlike focus, he was aware of a small dog carrier in the corner of the room, along with two dishes. One was filled with water, the other with kibble.
He’d agreed to let Cece use his office as a temporary home. Having her around helped Kalinda heal, which was his primary concern. But the cage or crate or whatever it was called distracted him. Stupid but true.
Worse, he found himself anticipating seeing the dog. She was small enough not to be a bother, and friendly. He’d never considered himself a pet person, but she wasn’t too bad.
He finished with the chart and leaned back in his chair. Who was he trying to kid? While he thought the dog was fine, the person he most wanted to see was Montana.
It had been eight days since that night. Eight days since he’d told her the truth about himself and she’d explained why he was wrong.
He’d always known no one would understand. Still, he’d found himself hoping she would get it, that she would see what he went through. She hadn’t.
He supposed the fault wasn’t hers. After all, she didn’t have any life experiences to prepare her for someone like him. Her world had been safe, kind. The most important person in her life hadn’t turned on her.
There was no resentment in the thought. Knowing that Montana believed in goodness and the kindness of strangers made him sleep easier at night.
He missed her. There it was—the uncomfortable truth. He missed looking at her and talking to her. He wanted to have her tell him about her life and then he wanted to make love with her. Slowly the first time, savoring all that he could, then taking her hard and fast, both of them breathless.
He closed his charts and stood. Before he could leave his office, someone knocked on the partially closed door.
“Come in,” he called.
Two men entered. They were about his height and age. One was blond. He recognized the other man. Ethan Hendrix. Simon had met him at the family picnic after the car accident.
“Are we interrupting?” Ethan asked.
“I was just finishing paperwork. Good to see you again.” The two men shook hands.
Ethan introduced his friend. “This is Josh Golden, the second most famous athlete in Fool’s Gold.”
Josh grinned. “Give me a break. You really think Raoul could ride a hundred and eighty-plus kilometers in the high mountain stage of the Tour de France?”
“Sure.”
Josh chuckled. “Right.” He turned to Simon. “Admit it. You’ve heard of me.”
Ethan laughed. “You don’t have to do any upper body workouts, do you? Carrying that ego around is more than enough.”
Josh laughed. “You’re jealous because all the ladies love me.”
“I’m only interested in one lady loving me. You can have the rest.”
Instead of looking pleased, Josh seemed to deflate. “Good point. I only want Charity, too. Well, damn. What am I supposed to do with the rest of them? Simon? Interested?”
He found himself agreeing that there was only one woman who had recently captured his attention. “I would be a poor substitute.”
They continued to banter with each other. Simon found himself enjoying the conversation, even though he wasn’t saying much. They had obviously been friends for a long time—something he missed with his lifestyle. He was never in one place long enough to make connections that lasted.
Without wanting to, he remembered being eleven and standing in his mother’s small kitchen. His ears were ringing from the backhanded slap that had just landed across his cheek.
“He’s a freak,” his mother’s boyfriend had complained, pulling back his arm to hit Simon again. “Make him stop looking at me.”
Instead of defending him, his mother had yelled for him to leave the room. As Simon had run away to his bedroom, he’d heard the man say he was a creepy kid. That there was something not right about him.
That wasn’t the first time Simon had heard the words. He didn’t know how to fit in. He was smarter than all the other kids—already skipping two grades. School came easily to him. He remembered wondering what it would be like to be just like everyone else.
Something he would never know, he thought, returning to the present.
“You golf?” Josh asked.
“You don’t have to ask,” Ethan said. “They have to learn it in medical school.”
Simon chuckled. “I missed that class, but I do play occasionally.”
“We heard you have the afternoon off. Pia has a houseful of women and is throwing Raoul out for the afternoon. Come with us. It’ll be fun.”
Although Simon didn’t know either of the men, he wanted to go with them. An afternoon away from the hospital would help clear his head.
“Let me tell them I’m leaving,” he said, picking up the phone. He paused and looked at them. “We play for money, right?”
Both men laughed.
“You’re going to fit right in,” Josh told him.
CHAPTER TEN
STEVE WAS AN ATTRACTIVE MAN. Tanned, fit, reasonably intelligent. He had blue eyes, which Denise liked. So far they’d talked about his job as a district manager for a computer parts distributor, the upcoming art festival in town and the weather.
She glanced surreptitiously at her watch and hoped the man sitting across from her didn’t notice. She held in a groan. Had it really just been twenty minutes? Thank God they were only having drinks.
“Do you come here often?” Steve asked.
“To the winery? No, I don’t get here much.” She looked around at the patio. Tables and chairs had been set out. The summer evening was warm, but a light breeze kept the temperature bearable. The mountains were to the east, the vineyard to the west. It was a perfect romantic setting. So why did she feel like banging her head against the table?
“I was reading in the paper that they’re having a good summer for grapes,” she said. “If the favorable weather continues, this is going to be one of those excellent years for California wines.”
She held in her second groan in the past three minutes. Talk about inane conversation.
Maybe it was the setting. Too forced. The truth was, she didn’t have that many places she could go on a first date. Living in Fool’s Gold meant she knew everyone and everyone knew her. Talk about a dating challenge, especially at her age.
“Do you get to Fool’s Gold often?” she asked.
He smiled. “No, but I could change that.”
Oops. She hadn’t seen that coming.
“So business is good?”
He leaned toward her. “Good and getting better. Technology is always changing and people want to keep up. In a lot of industries you have to wait until the equipment breaks. Think about it. Would you replace your washing machine just because there was a new, fancy model?”
“Of course not.”
“Right. No one would. But people think nothing of getting a new phone, just because it’s new. It’s a kind of built-in obsolescence.”
“You sound like you really enjoy your work.”
“I do. I like sales a lot and I really like having access to the newest toys.”
He pulled a slim phone out of his pocket, tapped on the dark surface and showed her the screen. It was a maze of little boxes. Apps—was that the word?
“I’m so the wrong person to try to impress,” she admitted. “I’ve had the same phone for two years. I’m terrified it’s going to stop working and I’ll have to figure out how to use a new one.”
“I could help you,” he said, meeting her gaze.
He was obviously interested, she thought with a sigh. She supposed she should be flattered and she was, a little. But while he was nice to look at and seemed charming enough, there was no…spark.
