Primal Bonds
Page 19
Liam and Sean studied each other across the table, neither giving way to the other. Liam’s eyes flicked to Shifter white, cat pupils slitted, before they snapped back to human. “I never meant that we should dance in front of human guns in our altogether, Sean.”
“I know.” Sean’s words were flat. Simple.
Liam couldn’t be seen looking away first. He was leader, the alpha of this entire community. Sean had to drop his gaze before Liam did or risk his gesture being taken by the others as a challenge. If Sean challenged, especially in public, he and Liam would have to fight. And watching them now, Andrea understood that the fight would be close. Too close to call.
Sean knew this too. He held Liam’s gaze a little while longer before he gave his brother a faint nod and looked away. Liam blew out a breath.
“I think we’re done here,” Liam said. “Business as usual, but extra security, extra caution.”
It was a dismissal. The Shifters drifted away from the pulled-together tables; Silas went with Annie. The others were talking together, Ellison laughing about something with Glory.
Sean rose and silently left the bar. Andrea followed him out.
She easily caught up to him at the field that was the shortcut to Shiftertown. Sean wasn’t walking fast but contemplating the world with a slow stride. Andrea knew he heard her, even though he didn’t look at her. He’d scent her, feel her warmth at his side.
“Liam is different from any pack leader I’ve ever known,” Andrea said, sticking her hands into her pockets.
Sean still didn’t look at her. “Is he?”
“Of course he is. He let you have an opinion. Not only that, he let you voice it in front of everyone. My pack leader in Colorado would have been across the table clawing out your throat for challenging his decision.”
“Good thing Liam isn’t a bloody self-centered Lupine then.”
“He didn’t like what you said, but I think he agrees with you.”
Sunlight glistened on Sean’s silver sword. “Maybe.”
Andrea walked a few more paces in silence, hands digging farther into her pockets. Shifter males never challenged their dominant in front of others, unless they wanted to be used to wipe the floor, but Sean had fearlessly said what he thought, disagreeing outright. Once again, Sean was proving himself different from any other Shifter Andrea had met.
“You’re not a coward, Sean.”
“I’m not? Whew, good to hear that.”
“But I think Liam’s right. If we give in to the shooters and hide, they’ll just keep coming. They’ll know they can win.”
“I never said anything about letting them win.” Sean finally looked at her, and she suddenly understood why Liam had backed down from him in there. Yes, Liam had done the backing down, she knew, and probably Dylan had understood that too. Sean had shielded his eyes first, sure, but he’d let Liam know he was breaking eye contact on purpose, so that Liam wouldn’t lose face.
“Do you think I want to see my nephew bloodied up like Ely?” Sean asked. “Or my father? Or you? Especially not you.” He stopped and faced her, his breath streaming like fog. “It’s a damn scary thing claiming a mate. I want to protect you all the time, and never stop.”
Andrea tried to smile. “Maybe you should have considered that before you claimed me.”
“I did. I’ve thought about it a lot. For ten years I’ve pondered it.”
His gaze was intense, but Andrea looked back at him in surprise. “Ten years? You only met me a few weeks ago.”
“Ten years ago, my brother Kenny died. Ten years before that, Kenny lost his mate, Sinead. Both of those nights were the worst of my life, together with the day we lost our mum. All three of those times, I thought I’d die from the grief.”
Andrea knew what he meant. She’s been tiny when her mother had died, but the loss still pulled at her heart. “I’m sorry.”
“When Dad arrived the night Kenny died, when he and Liam saw that Kenny was already dead, Dad just folded up on himself. Right there on the ground, curled into a ball. I’d lost my brother, but he’d lost a cub, a child he’d made with my mother. The mate bond between Dad and my mum was strong. And now Dad had lost another link to her.” Sean cupped Andrea’s shoulders, his fingers points of strength. “Is that what taking a mate is, ultimately, Andy-love? Nothing but loss?”
A lump formed in Andrea’s throat. “I don’t know.” The mate bond, that almost magical quality, had nothing to do with the mating ceremony itself, but made mates live and die for each other. “My mother and stepfather were mate blessed but never formed the bond,” she said softly.
Sean raised his brows in surprise. “I’m sorry, lass. If they didn’t, that’s a tragedy.”
“I was little, but I could tell. My stepfather adored my mother, but she didn’t love him the same way. She was grateful to him, fond of him, but there was no bond. She’d never got over my real father, you see. The Fae.”
Sean’s eyes flickered. “That so, love? I thought ...”
“That he raped her?” Andrea’s smile was wry as she shook her head. “That was the official story. Less humiliating for the Lupines if she didn’t go willingly to a Fae, isn’t it? But she loved my real father. She never stopped loving him.”
“Damn. That must have been hard on you.”
“My stepfather is a kind man, and I love him. My mother knew he’d not harm me when I was born, even knowing I’d been sired by a Fae, and he didn’t. He loved me for her sake. But she accepted his mate-claim out of expediency, not love.”
Sean touched the curls at the base of her neck. “That doesn’t mean you need to accept out of expediency, lass.”
“I know. But it made me not want a mate pairing without the mate bond, which was why I said no to Jared.” Andrea grimaced. “Well, that, and he’s an ass**le.”
“Even though the mate bond can tear us up in the end?” Sean slid his hands around her waist, under her coat. “In there, thinking of you being shot, falling at my feet, me having to stick my sword through you, like I had to with Kenny.” He swallowed. “I don’t ever want to have to do that, love. Never, ever.”
So that was the difference between Sean and Liam. What Liam saw as giving ground and retreating, Sean saw as keeping loved ones safe. Because Sean was the one who’d have to look at those loved ones last.
“I know.” Sean’s words were flat. Simple.
Liam couldn’t be seen looking away first. He was leader, the alpha of this entire community. Sean had to drop his gaze before Liam did or risk his gesture being taken by the others as a challenge. If Sean challenged, especially in public, he and Liam would have to fight. And watching them now, Andrea understood that the fight would be close. Too close to call.
Sean knew this too. He held Liam’s gaze a little while longer before he gave his brother a faint nod and looked away. Liam blew out a breath.
“I think we’re done here,” Liam said. “Business as usual, but extra security, extra caution.”
It was a dismissal. The Shifters drifted away from the pulled-together tables; Silas went with Annie. The others were talking together, Ellison laughing about something with Glory.
Sean rose and silently left the bar. Andrea followed him out.
She easily caught up to him at the field that was the shortcut to Shiftertown. Sean wasn’t walking fast but contemplating the world with a slow stride. Andrea knew he heard her, even though he didn’t look at her. He’d scent her, feel her warmth at his side.
“Liam is different from any pack leader I’ve ever known,” Andrea said, sticking her hands into her pockets.
Sean still didn’t look at her. “Is he?”
“Of course he is. He let you have an opinion. Not only that, he let you voice it in front of everyone. My pack leader in Colorado would have been across the table clawing out your throat for challenging his decision.”
“Good thing Liam isn’t a bloody self-centered Lupine then.”
“He didn’t like what you said, but I think he agrees with you.”
Sunlight glistened on Sean’s silver sword. “Maybe.”
Andrea walked a few more paces in silence, hands digging farther into her pockets. Shifter males never challenged their dominant in front of others, unless they wanted to be used to wipe the floor, but Sean had fearlessly said what he thought, disagreeing outright. Once again, Sean was proving himself different from any other Shifter Andrea had met.
“You’re not a coward, Sean.”
“I’m not? Whew, good to hear that.”
“But I think Liam’s right. If we give in to the shooters and hide, they’ll just keep coming. They’ll know they can win.”
“I never said anything about letting them win.” Sean finally looked at her, and she suddenly understood why Liam had backed down from him in there. Yes, Liam had done the backing down, she knew, and probably Dylan had understood that too. Sean had shielded his eyes first, sure, but he’d let Liam know he was breaking eye contact on purpose, so that Liam wouldn’t lose face.
“Do you think I want to see my nephew bloodied up like Ely?” Sean asked. “Or my father? Or you? Especially not you.” He stopped and faced her, his breath streaming like fog. “It’s a damn scary thing claiming a mate. I want to protect you all the time, and never stop.”
Andrea tried to smile. “Maybe you should have considered that before you claimed me.”
“I did. I’ve thought about it a lot. For ten years I’ve pondered it.”
His gaze was intense, but Andrea looked back at him in surprise. “Ten years? You only met me a few weeks ago.”
“Ten years ago, my brother Kenny died. Ten years before that, Kenny lost his mate, Sinead. Both of those nights were the worst of my life, together with the day we lost our mum. All three of those times, I thought I’d die from the grief.”
Andrea knew what he meant. She’s been tiny when her mother had died, but the loss still pulled at her heart. “I’m sorry.”
“When Dad arrived the night Kenny died, when he and Liam saw that Kenny was already dead, Dad just folded up on himself. Right there on the ground, curled into a ball. I’d lost my brother, but he’d lost a cub, a child he’d made with my mother. The mate bond between Dad and my mum was strong. And now Dad had lost another link to her.” Sean cupped Andrea’s shoulders, his fingers points of strength. “Is that what taking a mate is, ultimately, Andy-love? Nothing but loss?”
A lump formed in Andrea’s throat. “I don’t know.” The mate bond, that almost magical quality, had nothing to do with the mating ceremony itself, but made mates live and die for each other. “My mother and stepfather were mate blessed but never formed the bond,” she said softly.
Sean raised his brows in surprise. “I’m sorry, lass. If they didn’t, that’s a tragedy.”
“I was little, but I could tell. My stepfather adored my mother, but she didn’t love him the same way. She was grateful to him, fond of him, but there was no bond. She’d never got over my real father, you see. The Fae.”
Sean’s eyes flickered. “That so, love? I thought ...”
“That he raped her?” Andrea’s smile was wry as she shook her head. “That was the official story. Less humiliating for the Lupines if she didn’t go willingly to a Fae, isn’t it? But she loved my real father. She never stopped loving him.”
“Damn. That must have been hard on you.”
“My stepfather is a kind man, and I love him. My mother knew he’d not harm me when I was born, even knowing I’d been sired by a Fae, and he didn’t. He loved me for her sake. But she accepted his mate-claim out of expediency, not love.”
Sean touched the curls at the base of her neck. “That doesn’t mean you need to accept out of expediency, lass.”
“I know. But it made me not want a mate pairing without the mate bond, which was why I said no to Jared.” Andrea grimaced. “Well, that, and he’s an ass**le.”
“Even though the mate bond can tear us up in the end?” Sean slid his hands around her waist, under her coat. “In there, thinking of you being shot, falling at my feet, me having to stick my sword through you, like I had to with Kenny.” He swallowed. “I don’t ever want to have to do that, love. Never, ever.”
So that was the difference between Sean and Liam. What Liam saw as giving ground and retreating, Sean saw as keeping loved ones safe. Because Sean was the one who’d have to look at those loved ones last.
