Reckless Love
Page 31
Chris ran his hand over his clean-shaven head, and his forehead creased. “That’s not good.” He winced. “I was worried about this happening.”
I looked down at the floor. “I feel like I could have done a better job working with him.”
“Don’t worry, MacKenzie, this isn’t on you. I was just hoping it wouldn’t come to this.” He picked up a pencil and started tapping it on the desk.
“Come to what?” I asked.
“I think I’m going to have to replace Ian in the fight.”
“What? No. He’s worked so hard for this.”
“Yeah, but we knew this was a possibility. Why do you think I brought in Jonah?”
“You said you brought him in to work with Ian.”
He shrugged. “Yeah, but I kept him here because I knew we might need him to fight in Vegas. And it looks like I was right.”
Damn it. That wasn’t the reason he told me before. Why was he giving up on Ian so quickly? I thought they were friends.
“I don’t think it’s as bad as I made it sound, Chris,” I said. “We’ve still got time to get him in shape. I was going to start working with him every day to make sure he stays on track.” I realized I was wringing my hands and I stopped, placing them on my knees.
“You really are invested in this, aren’t you?”
I shrugged, then nodded. “I think he can get there. He wants to, and he will. I would like to help. It’s my job, right?”
It was so much more than that to me. I wanted to see hard work and determination pay off. It was like that alone could restore my faith in humanity. Ian should be at this fight. He should win this fight.
Chris smiled warmly and leaned forward, tilting his head to the side. “My little Kenzie has herself a project,” he said. “I guess I wouldn’t be a very good boyfriend if I didn’t at least give you a chance to see your mission through.” He got up and moved around the desk, taking a seat next to me. “If you think he’s got it in him, you’ve got the next week to prove it. If the doctor doesn’t clear him for sparring by then, I’m sorry, sweetie, but I’ll have to put Jonah in.”
He slid his arm around my waist and pulled me in. I didn’t resist, going limp in his arms. I stared at the floor, digesting what he’d just said.
All the thoughts I had about breaking up with Chris moved to the back of my mind. He was right on the edge of removing Ian from the fight. I wouldn’t give him any more reason to do so.
He pulled away to look at me. “You look tired. Did you sleep okay last night?”
I shook my head. “I had a hard time getting to sleep.” It was the truth, but my omission of all the details of the evening with Ian and his sister seemed like maybe the worst lie I’d ever told.
“Why don’t you take the day off? You should go home and get some rest.”
I nodded.
“We’re still on for Friday, right?”
“Yeah,” I said. We exchanged a quick kiss, and I pulled myself up off the couch and headed home.
Twenty-Six
Ian
I’d planned on picking MacKenzie up at three, so I was surprised when she showed up at my building just after lunch. Her eyes were puffy, as if she’d been sleeping.
“Did you come from the gym?” I asked when I let her into my workout room.
She shook her head. “No, Chris let me go home to get some sleep.”
It felt like there was something she wasn’t telling me, but she didn’t seem upset, maybe just dazed from a long nap. “He didn’t fire you, did he?”
“No.” She shook her head again, then took a seat on one of the workout benches. She took a deep breath before she continued. “I didn’t break up with him.”
Something about the way she was looking at me made my stomach fall. “Why not?” I knew as I asked the question that I didn’t want to hear the answer.
“Because it didn’t feel right.”
I ran my hand over my hair and waited for her to say more.
“I’m sorry. I think I’m going to stay with Chris.” Her voice was softer now, and she looked down at the floor. She was sitting on her hands, so I couldn’t read the telltale sign if she was upset, but she was definitely uncomfortable.
She’d chosen Chris.
I forced out a breath, looking down at the floor as well. I swallowed hard against a tightness in my throat, my jaw clenched. Rage boiled inside me, just under the surface, but I couldn’t lose it. Not right here, not right now. This was her choice. I was the douche-roll who passed on her when I had the chance. I had no right to give her shit about what she wanted.
“Okay.”
She looked up at me, as if she was surprised at my reaction. “Okay?”
I nodded. “Okay. Chris is still my friend, and I hope you are too. I want you to be happy. If he makes you happy,” I said and forced myself to shrug. “Then sure…it’s okay.”
She let out a breath she’d been holding. “Good. I was hoping you wouldn’t be too upset, because here’s the thing—I still want to help you work on your shoulder. Every day, like we talked about.”
Surprised, I ran my hand along the back of my neck, kneading my shoulder. She had to be kidding if she thought I would be willing to work with her after all we’d been through. After how much she knew I wanted her.
I started to shake my head, but then inexplicably switched to nodding. “Okay,” I said again, at a loss for anything more.
I looked down at the floor. “I feel like I could have done a better job working with him.”
“Don’t worry, MacKenzie, this isn’t on you. I was just hoping it wouldn’t come to this.” He picked up a pencil and started tapping it on the desk.
“Come to what?” I asked.
“I think I’m going to have to replace Ian in the fight.”
“What? No. He’s worked so hard for this.”
“Yeah, but we knew this was a possibility. Why do you think I brought in Jonah?”
“You said you brought him in to work with Ian.”
He shrugged. “Yeah, but I kept him here because I knew we might need him to fight in Vegas. And it looks like I was right.”
Damn it. That wasn’t the reason he told me before. Why was he giving up on Ian so quickly? I thought they were friends.
“I don’t think it’s as bad as I made it sound, Chris,” I said. “We’ve still got time to get him in shape. I was going to start working with him every day to make sure he stays on track.” I realized I was wringing my hands and I stopped, placing them on my knees.
“You really are invested in this, aren’t you?”
I shrugged, then nodded. “I think he can get there. He wants to, and he will. I would like to help. It’s my job, right?”
It was so much more than that to me. I wanted to see hard work and determination pay off. It was like that alone could restore my faith in humanity. Ian should be at this fight. He should win this fight.
Chris smiled warmly and leaned forward, tilting his head to the side. “My little Kenzie has herself a project,” he said. “I guess I wouldn’t be a very good boyfriend if I didn’t at least give you a chance to see your mission through.” He got up and moved around the desk, taking a seat next to me. “If you think he’s got it in him, you’ve got the next week to prove it. If the doctor doesn’t clear him for sparring by then, I’m sorry, sweetie, but I’ll have to put Jonah in.”
He slid his arm around my waist and pulled me in. I didn’t resist, going limp in his arms. I stared at the floor, digesting what he’d just said.
All the thoughts I had about breaking up with Chris moved to the back of my mind. He was right on the edge of removing Ian from the fight. I wouldn’t give him any more reason to do so.
He pulled away to look at me. “You look tired. Did you sleep okay last night?”
I shook my head. “I had a hard time getting to sleep.” It was the truth, but my omission of all the details of the evening with Ian and his sister seemed like maybe the worst lie I’d ever told.
“Why don’t you take the day off? You should go home and get some rest.”
I nodded.
“We’re still on for Friday, right?”
“Yeah,” I said. We exchanged a quick kiss, and I pulled myself up off the couch and headed home.
Twenty-Six
Ian
I’d planned on picking MacKenzie up at three, so I was surprised when she showed up at my building just after lunch. Her eyes were puffy, as if she’d been sleeping.
“Did you come from the gym?” I asked when I let her into my workout room.
She shook her head. “No, Chris let me go home to get some sleep.”
It felt like there was something she wasn’t telling me, but she didn’t seem upset, maybe just dazed from a long nap. “He didn’t fire you, did he?”
“No.” She shook her head again, then took a seat on one of the workout benches. She took a deep breath before she continued. “I didn’t break up with him.”
Something about the way she was looking at me made my stomach fall. “Why not?” I knew as I asked the question that I didn’t want to hear the answer.
“Because it didn’t feel right.”
I ran my hand over my hair and waited for her to say more.
“I’m sorry. I think I’m going to stay with Chris.” Her voice was softer now, and she looked down at the floor. She was sitting on her hands, so I couldn’t read the telltale sign if she was upset, but she was definitely uncomfortable.
She’d chosen Chris.
I forced out a breath, looking down at the floor as well. I swallowed hard against a tightness in my throat, my jaw clenched. Rage boiled inside me, just under the surface, but I couldn’t lose it. Not right here, not right now. This was her choice. I was the douche-roll who passed on her when I had the chance. I had no right to give her shit about what she wanted.
“Okay.”
She looked up at me, as if she was surprised at my reaction. “Okay?”
I nodded. “Okay. Chris is still my friend, and I hope you are too. I want you to be happy. If he makes you happy,” I said and forced myself to shrug. “Then sure…it’s okay.”
She let out a breath she’d been holding. “Good. I was hoping you wouldn’t be too upset, because here’s the thing—I still want to help you work on your shoulder. Every day, like we talked about.”
Surprised, I ran my hand along the back of my neck, kneading my shoulder. She had to be kidding if she thought I would be willing to work with her after all we’d been through. After how much she knew I wanted her.
I started to shake my head, but then inexplicably switched to nodding. “Okay,” I said again, at a loss for anything more.
