Reclaiming the Sand
Page 88
I was empty and lonely.
And still he said nothing.
His silence was worse than his anger.
I almost wished he’d flip out and throw things. I wanted him to call me names and yell.
That I could deal with. I knew how to handle those sorts of reactions.
But he was doing absolutely nothing!
And I had no idea what I should do.
My phone started ringing, startling me. I looked over at Flynn and he had finally sat up, his hair sticking up all over his head. He didn’t look distressed. He didn’t look angry. I couldn’t tell what the hell he was feeling.
I didn’t want to answer the phone. I wanted to figure out what was going on between us. That was my priority.
But the incessant ringing was jarring.
“Answer it,” Flynn said, pointing to where it lay on the desk.
Not wanting to make the situation worse by refusing, I picked it up and looked down, surprised to see Reggie’s number flashing across the screen.
“Hello?” I said after answering.
“Oh thank god you answered!” Reggie let out in a rush.
“What is it, Reggie?” I asked, not bothering to hide my annoyance. I glanced at Flynn and he was still watching me. He never stared at me this long before and to have him do it now, after everything I had just told him, was extremely disconcerting.
“Where are you?” she asked and I realized she sounded panicky.
“Um…in Virginia, remember?”
“Shit! Shit, goddamn it! You need to get back here now!”
I had never heard Reggie like this. Tiny pricks of unease filtered there way through the numbness.
“Just tell me what’s going on, Reggie,” I snapped.
“It’s Dania,” she said quietly.
My stomach dropped to the floor.
“What’s wrong with Dania?” I barked, fear setting in. We may have parted on bad terms, but Dania had been my best friend for ten years. And I cared about her. Whether I wanted to or not.
“She went into premature labor yesterday. She was with Stu, I guess and he brought her to the hospital. It was all good until she had the kid. And he wasn’t breathing. They had to do CPR or something. I don’t know, but it was bad.”
I ran my hand down my face in agitation. “Is the baby okay?” I asked, rubbing my temples.
“I don’t really know. After Dania had him, they took him away. And now they won’t let her see him. A bunch of people came in here today and spoke to her and now she’s freaking out. She keeps asking for you. She wouldn’t calm down and a nurse had to give her a tranquilizer to get her to stop yelling.”
Shit!
“It’s bad, Ells. Really, really bad. Stu says they won’t let her have her baby because of all the shit she did while she was pregnant. The drugs and the drinking. The kid was born with some sort of heart defect and can’t breathe on his own. That he was addicted to drugs or something. They aren’t sure he’ll pull through. And now these people won’t even let her go and see him. She’s losing it, Ells. You need to get back here now. She won’t see anyone but you.”
I looked over at Flynn and he still hadn’t moved. Murphy had woken up during my phone call and had jumped up on the bed, his head in Flynn’s lap. I hated not knowing what was going on between us. But I couldn’t deal with him right now. I needed to get to Dania. She needed me and I hadn’t been there.
Would the guilt ever end?
“I’ll get there as soon as I can. We’re almost six hours away. So it’ll be a while,” I said and I heard Reggie’s sigh of relief.
“Thank you! I just don’t know what to do. And Dania doesn’t even really like me. She won’t talk to Stu and he told her to f**k herself and left. Shane’s not answering his phone. So it’s just me here and you know I hate hospitals. I hate the smell and all the people running around. I can’t handle it. I need to get out of here,” Reggie whispered manically into the phone and I knew she was messed up. Dania didn’t need that.
“Just go home, Reggie. I’ll be there soon enough and I’ll take care of Dania,” I assured her, knowing that’s what she wanted to hear.
“Good. Okay then. I’ll talk to you later.” And with that, she hung up.
I tried to collect myself. I felt as though I were left dangling in the wind. I had unloaded my huge confession on Flynn, that he had still yet to respond to. I was almost positive that my honesty had cost me the most important person in my life. His silence was like the death knell for our relationship.
And before I was allowed to mourn the loss of it, I had gotten a phone call letting me know my best friend was falling apart. That she needed me.
“I have to go home,” I said, grabbing my suitcase and shoving my things inside.
“What about the hotel room?” he asked.
And then it was my turn to lose it. “I don’t care about the f**king hotel room! I need to get back to Wellsburg now! Dania needs me!”
I shoved the rest of my things in my suitcase.
“You’re upset,” Flynn said, all emotion gone from his voice. It was hard to believe that only hours before we had been wrapped up in each other. That he had touched me and I had touched him and we had connected completely.
It felt like another life.
“Yes, I’m upset, Flynn. Dania had her baby. He’s sick. I need to get back and be with her,” I said, trying to calm myself down. Getting worked up would only exacerbate the situation.
And still he said nothing.
His silence was worse than his anger.
I almost wished he’d flip out and throw things. I wanted him to call me names and yell.
That I could deal with. I knew how to handle those sorts of reactions.
But he was doing absolutely nothing!
And I had no idea what I should do.
My phone started ringing, startling me. I looked over at Flynn and he had finally sat up, his hair sticking up all over his head. He didn’t look distressed. He didn’t look angry. I couldn’t tell what the hell he was feeling.
I didn’t want to answer the phone. I wanted to figure out what was going on between us. That was my priority.
But the incessant ringing was jarring.
“Answer it,” Flynn said, pointing to where it lay on the desk.
Not wanting to make the situation worse by refusing, I picked it up and looked down, surprised to see Reggie’s number flashing across the screen.
“Hello?” I said after answering.
“Oh thank god you answered!” Reggie let out in a rush.
“What is it, Reggie?” I asked, not bothering to hide my annoyance. I glanced at Flynn and he was still watching me. He never stared at me this long before and to have him do it now, after everything I had just told him, was extremely disconcerting.
“Where are you?” she asked and I realized she sounded panicky.
“Um…in Virginia, remember?”
“Shit! Shit, goddamn it! You need to get back here now!”
I had never heard Reggie like this. Tiny pricks of unease filtered there way through the numbness.
“Just tell me what’s going on, Reggie,” I snapped.
“It’s Dania,” she said quietly.
My stomach dropped to the floor.
“What’s wrong with Dania?” I barked, fear setting in. We may have parted on bad terms, but Dania had been my best friend for ten years. And I cared about her. Whether I wanted to or not.
“She went into premature labor yesterday. She was with Stu, I guess and he brought her to the hospital. It was all good until she had the kid. And he wasn’t breathing. They had to do CPR or something. I don’t know, but it was bad.”
I ran my hand down my face in agitation. “Is the baby okay?” I asked, rubbing my temples.
“I don’t really know. After Dania had him, they took him away. And now they won’t let her see him. A bunch of people came in here today and spoke to her and now she’s freaking out. She keeps asking for you. She wouldn’t calm down and a nurse had to give her a tranquilizer to get her to stop yelling.”
Shit!
“It’s bad, Ells. Really, really bad. Stu says they won’t let her have her baby because of all the shit she did while she was pregnant. The drugs and the drinking. The kid was born with some sort of heart defect and can’t breathe on his own. That he was addicted to drugs or something. They aren’t sure he’ll pull through. And now these people won’t even let her go and see him. She’s losing it, Ells. You need to get back here now. She won’t see anyone but you.”
I looked over at Flynn and he still hadn’t moved. Murphy had woken up during my phone call and had jumped up on the bed, his head in Flynn’s lap. I hated not knowing what was going on between us. But I couldn’t deal with him right now. I needed to get to Dania. She needed me and I hadn’t been there.
Would the guilt ever end?
“I’ll get there as soon as I can. We’re almost six hours away. So it’ll be a while,” I said and I heard Reggie’s sigh of relief.
“Thank you! I just don’t know what to do. And Dania doesn’t even really like me. She won’t talk to Stu and he told her to f**k herself and left. Shane’s not answering his phone. So it’s just me here and you know I hate hospitals. I hate the smell and all the people running around. I can’t handle it. I need to get out of here,” Reggie whispered manically into the phone and I knew she was messed up. Dania didn’t need that.
“Just go home, Reggie. I’ll be there soon enough and I’ll take care of Dania,” I assured her, knowing that’s what she wanted to hear.
“Good. Okay then. I’ll talk to you later.” And with that, she hung up.
I tried to collect myself. I felt as though I were left dangling in the wind. I had unloaded my huge confession on Flynn, that he had still yet to respond to. I was almost positive that my honesty had cost me the most important person in my life. His silence was like the death knell for our relationship.
And before I was allowed to mourn the loss of it, I had gotten a phone call letting me know my best friend was falling apart. That she needed me.
“I have to go home,” I said, grabbing my suitcase and shoving my things inside.
“What about the hotel room?” he asked.
And then it was my turn to lose it. “I don’t care about the f**king hotel room! I need to get back to Wellsburg now! Dania needs me!”
I shoved the rest of my things in my suitcase.
“You’re upset,” Flynn said, all emotion gone from his voice. It was hard to believe that only hours before we had been wrapped up in each other. That he had touched me and I had touched him and we had connected completely.
It felt like another life.
“Yes, I’m upset, Flynn. Dania had her baby. He’s sick. I need to get back and be with her,” I said, trying to calm myself down. Getting worked up would only exacerbate the situation.
