Rock My Bed
Page 60
“What happened to you? Did you leave because of what I said in the bar?”
“Yes,” I answer honestly. “I’m not ready for that.”
She sighs into the phone. “I get that. I really do, but you should’ve told me that instead of sneaking out in the middle of the night so you didn’t have to face me like a coward.”
She’s right. Leaving like that was the biggest pussy move in the world to pull. If I were man enough, I would’ve stayed and told her how I felt instead of doing what I did.
“You’re right and I’m sorry for that. You deserve better. Actually you deserve better than me period. That’s why I left.”
“When you say shit like that it’s crazy. I hate when you talk down about yourself like this. Your parents fucked you up. You are capable of love, Zach. You have to open up and let me in. You can’t keep blaming yourself for your mom and sister’s death.”
“They have nothing to do with the way I feel about you,” I growl. “I’m no good for you.”
“Don’t say that,” she cries.
“I’m not, Aubrey. I always ruin everything and hurt the people I love most. If I let myself love you, I’ll let you down. I know it, and that will fucking kill me. I’m barely holding on to a string as it is. I can’t take one more person that I love hating me. I don’t think I’ll make it.”
“That’ll never happen.”
I rub my forehead. She’s not going to give up unless I make her. “It already has.”
“What do you mean?” she questions.
“I’ve moved on, okay. I found a couple chicks last night and brought them back to my place so I can forget about you and how you fucked with my head.”
She’s quiet for a moment and then I hear her sniff on the other line. I pull the phone away from my mouth and stare up at the ceiling cursing myself for being an evil bastard and making her cry.
“So, like I said. I’m no good. It’s best we split now before I actually feel something for you. We’re no good for each other.”
“Okay,” she answers with a shaky voice before she hangs up on me. I throw my cell against the wall, watching it shatter into a million tiny pieces, and hating every inch of myself.
AUBREY
The last few days I’ve thrown myself into my work. With Lanie gone I find myself working and sleeping with not much else in between.
I have nothing else here in the city. Not even my long-distance rocker any more. I should’ve listened to my head instead of following my dumbass heart and falling in love with a man I knew was trouble right from the start.
The phone on my desk rings and I glance down to see Isaac’s name. “Yes, sir?”
“Do you have lunch plans?” he asks.
“No. Why?”
“I want to take you to lunch. We’ll leave at noon. I have a few things to discuss with you.”
“Okay, fine. I’ll be ready.” It’s not uncommon for us to eat lunch together to work on a project that needs out right away, but it is kind of odd that he wants to take me out.
Nearly the second we hang up my cell in the desk drawer rings. I really need to remember to start silencing this stupid thing while I’m at work. “Hello?”
“Hey, girl!” Lanie says. “How are you?”
I sigh. “I’ve been better, but you sound downright chipper.”
“Aw, Sweetie. What’s wrong?” she asks concern thick in her voice.
“Riff’s done with me.” A tear falls down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away so my coworkers don’t see it. It’s harder than I thought to admit that out loud.
“What? I’ve seen the way he is with you. I find it hard to believe he can move on so quickly.”
I sniff. “He told me he brought two girls home last night so he can move on.”
She lets a heavy breath waft into the phone. “Why would he do that?”
“Because I told him I loved him and he wasn’t ready to be that serious with me.”
“So he goes and fucks two random groupies?” Lanie shrieks. “I don’t believe it.”
“Believe it. He told me so himself.” I pause and take a deep breath. “We’re over.”
Lanie sighs. “That’s too bad, because you two still have to walk down the aisle together in my wedding.”
My eyes widen. “You and Noel are getting married?”
She giggles. “We are, and sooner rather than later. I’m flying you down this weekend for a dress fitting.”
“Wow. In four days? That’s soon. So when is this wedding?”
“In the weekend after this one.”
“What’s the rush?”
“No rush. We want to do this. It’s the right thing for us, you know.”
I smile, completely happy that my best friend is finally marrying the man she’s loved for so long. “Where’s the wedding going to be?”
“Here at Mom’s house—out on the dock.”
“Awww. That’s so romantic. It’s almost like bringing your love full circle.”
“It totally is,” she answers and I can hear the smile in her voice.
We talk a little while longer about wedding plans and my flight arrangements for the weekend before Isaac pops out of his office. I glance down at the clock. It’s time for lunch already.
“I have to go. I’ll see you Friday night,” I say into the phone.
“Yes,” I answer honestly. “I’m not ready for that.”
She sighs into the phone. “I get that. I really do, but you should’ve told me that instead of sneaking out in the middle of the night so you didn’t have to face me like a coward.”
She’s right. Leaving like that was the biggest pussy move in the world to pull. If I were man enough, I would’ve stayed and told her how I felt instead of doing what I did.
“You’re right and I’m sorry for that. You deserve better. Actually you deserve better than me period. That’s why I left.”
“When you say shit like that it’s crazy. I hate when you talk down about yourself like this. Your parents fucked you up. You are capable of love, Zach. You have to open up and let me in. You can’t keep blaming yourself for your mom and sister’s death.”
“They have nothing to do with the way I feel about you,” I growl. “I’m no good for you.”
“Don’t say that,” she cries.
“I’m not, Aubrey. I always ruin everything and hurt the people I love most. If I let myself love you, I’ll let you down. I know it, and that will fucking kill me. I’m barely holding on to a string as it is. I can’t take one more person that I love hating me. I don’t think I’ll make it.”
“That’ll never happen.”
I rub my forehead. She’s not going to give up unless I make her. “It already has.”
“What do you mean?” she questions.
“I’ve moved on, okay. I found a couple chicks last night and brought them back to my place so I can forget about you and how you fucked with my head.”
She’s quiet for a moment and then I hear her sniff on the other line. I pull the phone away from my mouth and stare up at the ceiling cursing myself for being an evil bastard and making her cry.
“So, like I said. I’m no good. It’s best we split now before I actually feel something for you. We’re no good for each other.”
“Okay,” she answers with a shaky voice before she hangs up on me. I throw my cell against the wall, watching it shatter into a million tiny pieces, and hating every inch of myself.
AUBREY
The last few days I’ve thrown myself into my work. With Lanie gone I find myself working and sleeping with not much else in between.
I have nothing else here in the city. Not even my long-distance rocker any more. I should’ve listened to my head instead of following my dumbass heart and falling in love with a man I knew was trouble right from the start.
The phone on my desk rings and I glance down to see Isaac’s name. “Yes, sir?”
“Do you have lunch plans?” he asks.
“No. Why?”
“I want to take you to lunch. We’ll leave at noon. I have a few things to discuss with you.”
“Okay, fine. I’ll be ready.” It’s not uncommon for us to eat lunch together to work on a project that needs out right away, but it is kind of odd that he wants to take me out.
Nearly the second we hang up my cell in the desk drawer rings. I really need to remember to start silencing this stupid thing while I’m at work. “Hello?”
“Hey, girl!” Lanie says. “How are you?”
I sigh. “I’ve been better, but you sound downright chipper.”
“Aw, Sweetie. What’s wrong?” she asks concern thick in her voice.
“Riff’s done with me.” A tear falls down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away so my coworkers don’t see it. It’s harder than I thought to admit that out loud.
“What? I’ve seen the way he is with you. I find it hard to believe he can move on so quickly.”
I sniff. “He told me he brought two girls home last night so he can move on.”
She lets a heavy breath waft into the phone. “Why would he do that?”
“Because I told him I loved him and he wasn’t ready to be that serious with me.”
“So he goes and fucks two random groupies?” Lanie shrieks. “I don’t believe it.”
“Believe it. He told me so himself.” I pause and take a deep breath. “We’re over.”
Lanie sighs. “That’s too bad, because you two still have to walk down the aisle together in my wedding.”
My eyes widen. “You and Noel are getting married?”
She giggles. “We are, and sooner rather than later. I’m flying you down this weekend for a dress fitting.”
“Wow. In four days? That’s soon. So when is this wedding?”
“In the weekend after this one.”
“What’s the rush?”
“No rush. We want to do this. It’s the right thing for us, you know.”
I smile, completely happy that my best friend is finally marrying the man she’s loved for so long. “Where’s the wedding going to be?”
“Here at Mom’s house—out on the dock.”
“Awww. That’s so romantic. It’s almost like bringing your love full circle.”
“It totally is,” she answers and I can hear the smile in her voice.
We talk a little while longer about wedding plans and my flight arrangements for the weekend before Isaac pops out of his office. I glance down at the clock. It’s time for lunch already.
“I have to go. I’ll see you Friday night,” I say into the phone.
