Savage Urges
Page 63
She knew he was; knew he never meant to hurt her, so she couldn’t stay mad at him. She’d always thought she didn’t want any answers. It should have been easy to tell him to do as he’d promised and drop it forever. But now that the answers were close, now that curiosity was biting her, it was hard to let it go. There was no harm in asking at least one question, right? “What was my mom’s real name?”
Ryan had suspected she’d want to know that, if nothing else. “Sinead Gannon.”
Makenna frowned. The name wasn’t bad, but it didn’t suit her mom at all. She shouldn’t ask. She should drop it, but . . . “And mine?”
“I don’t know about your first name. Your surname would have been Gannon-Paxton.”
Makenna’s nose wrinkled. “Why couldn’t you find out my first name?”
“You weren’t born in the pack. It’s a long story.”
That made absolutely no sense. She inhaled deeply, unable to resist asking, “What’s the story?”
“You’re from the Geraint Pack in New Zealand. When the old Alpha, Conrad, was in charge, it was very cultlike. He was controlling and oppressive. He branded each of his wolves as a symbol of dominance and ownership. He had a tattoo of a salamander, which was why he used it as a symbol for the pack. No one complained. They saw him as their savior.”
“Savior?” she repeated, incredulous.
“The prior Alpha was even worse. When Conrad stepped in and killed him, the pack was grateful. He rebuilt the place, gained them more land, found them a healer, and brought order. In doing all that, he bought their loyalty and took control. They felt indebted to this person who convinced them that everything he did was for the good of the pack. They were devoted to him.”
“Why did he banish my mother?”
Ryan slowly skimmed a hand up and down her arm as he spoke. “Your parents weren’t true mates, but they cared for each other and asked Conrad’s permission to mate. There were no unsanctioned pairings. He arranged every mating, whether those wolves were true mates or not, whether they cared for each other or not.”
“But that would be sabotaging the future of his pack. Only true mates or imprinted couples can develop mating bonds, and only mated couples can have pups. He had to know that.”
“It’s said that he wasn’t altogether sane. Maybe that blinded him. Maybe he didn’t want his pack to expand because it was easier to control a small one.”
“He didn’t give my parents his permission to mate, did he?”
Ryan shook his head. “But imprinting can happen without a couple’s control. They probably tried to hide it at first. But once their scents mixed it would have been impossible. Conrad was furious. Especially since it was obvious by your mother’s scent that she was in the early stages of pregnancy. He wanted to publicly execute them as an example to the others. But your parents were able to escape. Probably because Conrad wouldn’t have ever expected them to dare try.”
“Wait, both of them escaped?”
“Conrad sent his enforcers after them, but they were smart. They disappeared.”
Her mother had told her that she and Makenna were banished when she was a toddler. If Ryan’s info was to be believed, Makenna had never known her pack at all. “But . . . my father.”
“Nobody knows what happened to him. I couldn’t find out, Kenna, I’m sorry.”
“Why would my mom lie and tell me we were banished? Why wouldn’t she tell me the full story?”
“Maybe the truth was too painful for her to talk about. Maybe she intended to tell you what really happened, when you were older.”
Maybe. “You called Conrad ‘the old Alpha.’ He’s dead now?”
Ryan nodded. “Which means I can’t kill him.” And that was terribly disappointing. “The new Alpha seems to be a good one. He’s also your mother’s younger brother. He’s been looking for you and your parents for a long time.”
Makenna puffed out a long breath, overwhelmed. The answers she’d fooled herself into believing she didn’t want were much worse than she’d expected. So much worse. Her Alpha had not only been a traitorous bastard but a twisted one. He hadn’t banished her mother, he’d refused to allow her to mate and then he’d hunted her—forcing her into hiding. As for her father . . . Makenna still had no idea what happened to him. She did know one thing. “My parents didn’t deserve what happened to them.”
“Neither did you.”
“I don’t really know what to do with all that information right now.” It was too much for her to process while she felt so raw. And, honestly, she didn’t want to process it. She didn’t want to lie there dwelling on how different things could have been. She just wanted to let her mate hold her and comfort her.
Not liking that she was retreating inward but understanding why she would wish to, he said, “You don’t have to do anything with it.” He dabbed a light kiss on her mouth. Gripping his nape, she tried to take over the kiss—to make it rough, wild. He didn’t let her. He kissed her soft and slow and deep, skimming one hand up her thigh and under her dress to cup her ass.
As Ryan possessively dug his teeth hard into her throat, she hissed in warning. He growled. “Mine to bite,” he reminded her. He expected to see a spark of defiance in her eyes. Instead, there was sadness and longing. “Tell me your fears, Kenna. They’re the only things left jamming the bond.”
Ryan had suspected she’d want to know that, if nothing else. “Sinead Gannon.”
Makenna frowned. The name wasn’t bad, but it didn’t suit her mom at all. She shouldn’t ask. She should drop it, but . . . “And mine?”
“I don’t know about your first name. Your surname would have been Gannon-Paxton.”
Makenna’s nose wrinkled. “Why couldn’t you find out my first name?”
“You weren’t born in the pack. It’s a long story.”
That made absolutely no sense. She inhaled deeply, unable to resist asking, “What’s the story?”
“You’re from the Geraint Pack in New Zealand. When the old Alpha, Conrad, was in charge, it was very cultlike. He was controlling and oppressive. He branded each of his wolves as a symbol of dominance and ownership. He had a tattoo of a salamander, which was why he used it as a symbol for the pack. No one complained. They saw him as their savior.”
“Savior?” she repeated, incredulous.
“The prior Alpha was even worse. When Conrad stepped in and killed him, the pack was grateful. He rebuilt the place, gained them more land, found them a healer, and brought order. In doing all that, he bought their loyalty and took control. They felt indebted to this person who convinced them that everything he did was for the good of the pack. They were devoted to him.”
“Why did he banish my mother?”
Ryan slowly skimmed a hand up and down her arm as he spoke. “Your parents weren’t true mates, but they cared for each other and asked Conrad’s permission to mate. There were no unsanctioned pairings. He arranged every mating, whether those wolves were true mates or not, whether they cared for each other or not.”
“But that would be sabotaging the future of his pack. Only true mates or imprinted couples can develop mating bonds, and only mated couples can have pups. He had to know that.”
“It’s said that he wasn’t altogether sane. Maybe that blinded him. Maybe he didn’t want his pack to expand because it was easier to control a small one.”
“He didn’t give my parents his permission to mate, did he?”
Ryan shook his head. “But imprinting can happen without a couple’s control. They probably tried to hide it at first. But once their scents mixed it would have been impossible. Conrad was furious. Especially since it was obvious by your mother’s scent that she was in the early stages of pregnancy. He wanted to publicly execute them as an example to the others. But your parents were able to escape. Probably because Conrad wouldn’t have ever expected them to dare try.”
“Wait, both of them escaped?”
“Conrad sent his enforcers after them, but they were smart. They disappeared.”
Her mother had told her that she and Makenna were banished when she was a toddler. If Ryan’s info was to be believed, Makenna had never known her pack at all. “But . . . my father.”
“Nobody knows what happened to him. I couldn’t find out, Kenna, I’m sorry.”
“Why would my mom lie and tell me we were banished? Why wouldn’t she tell me the full story?”
“Maybe the truth was too painful for her to talk about. Maybe she intended to tell you what really happened, when you were older.”
Maybe. “You called Conrad ‘the old Alpha.’ He’s dead now?”
Ryan nodded. “Which means I can’t kill him.” And that was terribly disappointing. “The new Alpha seems to be a good one. He’s also your mother’s younger brother. He’s been looking for you and your parents for a long time.”
Makenna puffed out a long breath, overwhelmed. The answers she’d fooled herself into believing she didn’t want were much worse than she’d expected. So much worse. Her Alpha had not only been a traitorous bastard but a twisted one. He hadn’t banished her mother, he’d refused to allow her to mate and then he’d hunted her—forcing her into hiding. As for her father . . . Makenna still had no idea what happened to him. She did know one thing. “My parents didn’t deserve what happened to them.”
“Neither did you.”
“I don’t really know what to do with all that information right now.” It was too much for her to process while she felt so raw. And, honestly, she didn’t want to process it. She didn’t want to lie there dwelling on how different things could have been. She just wanted to let her mate hold her and comfort her.
Not liking that she was retreating inward but understanding why she would wish to, he said, “You don’t have to do anything with it.” He dabbed a light kiss on her mouth. Gripping his nape, she tried to take over the kiss—to make it rough, wild. He didn’t let her. He kissed her soft and slow and deep, skimming one hand up her thigh and under her dress to cup her ass.
As Ryan possessively dug his teeth hard into her throat, she hissed in warning. He growled. “Mine to bite,” he reminded her. He expected to see a spark of defiance in her eyes. Instead, there was sadness and longing. “Tell me your fears, Kenna. They’re the only things left jamming the bond.”
