Savage Urges
Page 64
Makenna worried her lower lip. His words weren’t coaxing; they were a pure demand. Her time had run out, just as he’d warned her it soon would. She couldn’t really blame him for his insistence on the truth, especially when he believed it would be the answer to their problems. Unlike her, he didn’t see it as a risk or as something that could lead to the end of what they had. He truly believed that the mating bond was waiting for them to clear the path. She didn’t have that same faith, and she didn’t want to gamble and lose him.
The truth was, she loved him. But that wasn’t an excuse to hold her to him like this by dragging her heels. And that was exactly what she was selfishly doing. If there were a female waiting for him somewhere—her wolf snarled at the very thought—he deserved to know and be free to find her. Rising to her feet, she folded her arms over her chest and took a deep breath. “Okay. Fine. Let’s find out once and for all if you’re right.”
Ryan got to his feet, not liking her defensive body language or the distance she’d placed between them. He also didn’t like the way she was looking at him. Sad. Regretful. Moments went by, but she said nothing. “Tell me, Kenna.”
She straightened her shoulders, trying to ignore the anxiety curdling in her stomach. Her lungs seemed to hurt with every breath. She wasn’t ready to let him go yet. But her instincts told her that it was exactly what she’d have to do. “You’ll want me to rely on you.” Swallowing the emotion clogging her throat, she admitted, “I don’t think I can, even though I want to.”
“Because you lost the last person you did rely on.” He understood that. It was a fear Ryan could easily chase away. “You won’t lose me, Kenna. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Yes, you are.” Her smile was sad. “Because there’s no mating bond.” There was nothing at all there. But she would not cry. Even though her throat ached, her chest was painfully tight, and her world was fucking falling apart, she wouldn’t cry in front of him. She wouldn’t guilt him into staying with her. He didn’t deserve that.
“That’s because you’re holding something else back.”
Cold all of a sudden, she hugged herself as she shook her head. “No, Ryan, I’m not. That’s the only fear standing in the way of me ever accepting a mate.”
Ryan advanced on her, gripping her hips when she tried to back away. “If that had been the only thing jamming the frequency, the mating urge would have kicked in by now.”
“Only if we were true mates.”
“We are,” he growled.
“There’s no mating bond, Ryan. I don’t feel it, and neither do you. There’s nothing there.”
“Then something else is jamming it.”
“There is nothing else! You were wrong!” She shoved at his chest, but he didn’t budge an inch.
“I know I’m not wrong. If I was, we’d be at least partially imprinted by now.” The vulnerability in her expression made him want to punch something. “Look at the facts, Kenna. Imprinting can happen without the conscious decision of the couple. I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want you. I told you before, I’d kill to have you. When I say you belong to me, I fucking mean it. Nothing and no one will ever take you from me. You can’t feel that way about someone who isn’t your mate and not imprint on them unless you mean nothing to them.” He didn’t know what Makenna felt for him, but he believed she felt something.
“Imprinting would never happen for us. Not given your feelings about it.”
He frowned at her, not understanding.
“Growing up, you saw how it can go wrong. Your parents made themselves and you miserable. If they had just waited for their true mates—”
“Their relationship isn’t bad because they’re not true mates. It’s because they didn’t work at it. Instead of trying to fix their problems, they constantly lashed out at each other. Gwen blames just about everything and everyone for her unhappiness. She constantly tells him she wishes she’d waited for her true mate. Galen just laughs and dares her to leave, even though her words hurt him. They poisoned their own relationship.”
Ryan could see that his answer had knocked her off balance. Apparently, Marcus was right: she’d thought his past would stop him from ever imprinting on someone. He rested his forehead against hers. “There is a mating bond. We just can’t feel it.” He didn’t understand why. Maybe he was the one jamming it. But he believed with every breath in his body that it was there. When he saw that she was about to object, he said, “Even if I’m wrong, it doesn’t change that you’re mine and I’m keeping you.”
He kissed her, pouring his hunger and resolve into it so she’d feel and taste his sincerity. She kissed him back, but there was a hesitance to it. His mate was holding herself back from him. He’d never tolerate that. Collaring her throat, he hardened the kiss, dominating and consuming and owning. Claws pricked his arms, warning him not to push too far. Ryan growled. He’d push as hard as he damn well had to until she understood and accepted that she was his.
Makenna told herself to pull back, to walk away. She’d gambled and she’d lost. He wasn’t hers to kiss or touch. In objection, her wolf raked Makenna with her claws. Well, the wolf could fuck off. There was no changing the situation. If there were a mating bond, they would have felt it by now. It was as simple as that.
The truth was, she loved him. But that wasn’t an excuse to hold her to him like this by dragging her heels. And that was exactly what she was selfishly doing. If there were a female waiting for him somewhere—her wolf snarled at the very thought—he deserved to know and be free to find her. Rising to her feet, she folded her arms over her chest and took a deep breath. “Okay. Fine. Let’s find out once and for all if you’re right.”
Ryan got to his feet, not liking her defensive body language or the distance she’d placed between them. He also didn’t like the way she was looking at him. Sad. Regretful. Moments went by, but she said nothing. “Tell me, Kenna.”
She straightened her shoulders, trying to ignore the anxiety curdling in her stomach. Her lungs seemed to hurt with every breath. She wasn’t ready to let him go yet. But her instincts told her that it was exactly what she’d have to do. “You’ll want me to rely on you.” Swallowing the emotion clogging her throat, she admitted, “I don’t think I can, even though I want to.”
“Because you lost the last person you did rely on.” He understood that. It was a fear Ryan could easily chase away. “You won’t lose me, Kenna. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Yes, you are.” Her smile was sad. “Because there’s no mating bond.” There was nothing at all there. But she would not cry. Even though her throat ached, her chest was painfully tight, and her world was fucking falling apart, she wouldn’t cry in front of him. She wouldn’t guilt him into staying with her. He didn’t deserve that.
“That’s because you’re holding something else back.”
Cold all of a sudden, she hugged herself as she shook her head. “No, Ryan, I’m not. That’s the only fear standing in the way of me ever accepting a mate.”
Ryan advanced on her, gripping her hips when she tried to back away. “If that had been the only thing jamming the frequency, the mating urge would have kicked in by now.”
“Only if we were true mates.”
“We are,” he growled.
“There’s no mating bond, Ryan. I don’t feel it, and neither do you. There’s nothing there.”
“Then something else is jamming it.”
“There is nothing else! You were wrong!” She shoved at his chest, but he didn’t budge an inch.
“I know I’m not wrong. If I was, we’d be at least partially imprinted by now.” The vulnerability in her expression made him want to punch something. “Look at the facts, Kenna. Imprinting can happen without the conscious decision of the couple. I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want you. I told you before, I’d kill to have you. When I say you belong to me, I fucking mean it. Nothing and no one will ever take you from me. You can’t feel that way about someone who isn’t your mate and not imprint on them unless you mean nothing to them.” He didn’t know what Makenna felt for him, but he believed she felt something.
“Imprinting would never happen for us. Not given your feelings about it.”
He frowned at her, not understanding.
“Growing up, you saw how it can go wrong. Your parents made themselves and you miserable. If they had just waited for their true mates—”
“Their relationship isn’t bad because they’re not true mates. It’s because they didn’t work at it. Instead of trying to fix their problems, they constantly lashed out at each other. Gwen blames just about everything and everyone for her unhappiness. She constantly tells him she wishes she’d waited for her true mate. Galen just laughs and dares her to leave, even though her words hurt him. They poisoned their own relationship.”
Ryan could see that his answer had knocked her off balance. Apparently, Marcus was right: she’d thought his past would stop him from ever imprinting on someone. He rested his forehead against hers. “There is a mating bond. We just can’t feel it.” He didn’t understand why. Maybe he was the one jamming it. But he believed with every breath in his body that it was there. When he saw that she was about to object, he said, “Even if I’m wrong, it doesn’t change that you’re mine and I’m keeping you.”
He kissed her, pouring his hunger and resolve into it so she’d feel and taste his sincerity. She kissed him back, but there was a hesitance to it. His mate was holding herself back from him. He’d never tolerate that. Collaring her throat, he hardened the kiss, dominating and consuming and owning. Claws pricked his arms, warning him not to push too far. Ryan growled. He’d push as hard as he damn well had to until she understood and accepted that she was his.
Makenna told herself to pull back, to walk away. She’d gambled and she’d lost. He wasn’t hers to kiss or touch. In objection, her wolf raked Makenna with her claws. Well, the wolf could fuck off. There was no changing the situation. If there were a mating bond, they would have felt it by now. It was as simple as that.
