Say You Love Me
Page 31
Kelsey smiled at that last. She did have to worry about being overheard-that is, if she made a clean breast of it. And that is what she wanted to do, more than anything, at least with this particular Malory. But she wouldn't do that, not without assurances.
Reggie sat down across from Kelsey, now that she'd fallen silent, and poured them each tea. She was waiting for Kelsey to begin, patiently, too. Kelsey was still searching for the right words. But there were none-at least, none to make this any easier. "Actually," Kelsey finally began, "Derek has asked me to marry him."
Reggie beamed happily. "I knew-" "But I won't, and I told him so." Reggie blinked. "Why not?"' "Because of how he acquired me. You see, what you were told about me, it was all a lie. But he didn't know what else to tell you at the time. He didn't know you and I had already met previously." "What was a lie?" "I'm not Percy's cousin," Kelsey admitted. "I'm Derek's mistress."
Reggie rolled her eyes and said dryly, "I've already gathered that." "No, what I mean is, I was already his mistress when I first met you. He bought me at an auction in a house of ill repute, one frequented by many lords of his acquaintance. That's why I won't marry him. The scandal of such a marriage would be horrendous."
Reggie took a moment to absorb that, but then said, "'Scandal is nothing new to my family-but what the devil were You doing in a place like that? And if you try to tell me you aren't a lady, that you belonged there, I'll toss you out of my house on your ear."
Kelsey's eye's widened, but then she burst out laughing. It felt very good indeed, certainly wasn't what she had gone there expecting to do.
She was still smiling when she said, "No, I wouldn't try to tell you that. Actually, I would like to tell you the truth, but I can't-that is, not unless you promise it won't go any further. Not even your husband can know 'Reggie. And certainly not Derek. If he does, he would insist on marrying me, and I care too much for him to bring that kind of scandal down on him." "But you and Derek are-what I mean is, well, why doesn't he at least know?" "Because I haven't told him, nor will 1. He doesn't know anything about me, really, other than the few lies I've told him. When I made the decision to do what I did, I had to come up with a new background for myself to protect my own family from the scandal that would evolve if it was ever discovered who I really am. Derek thinks my mother was a governess, that I benefited from the fine tutors that her charges had, and that's why my speech is refined." "The gullible lout." Reggie snorted. "He actually believed that?" "Why wouldn't he, considering where he found me?" Kelsey said in Derek's defense. "Hmmm, I suppose," Reggie allowed. "But what is the truth, then?" "Your promise?" "I can't even tell my husband?" Reggie wheedled. "I could get him to swear-" "Not even him."
Reggie sighed. "Yes, I promise."
Kelsey nodded, but took a sip of her tea, wondering where to begin. Perhaps with her parents ... "My father was David Phillip Langton, the fourth Earl of Lanscastle from Kettering." "Good God, wasn't he the earl who was shot earlier this year by-er Reggie fell silent with a cough, blushing profusely.
Kelsey leaned forward to pat her hand. "It's all right, and quite common knowledge, apparently. Yes, my mother shot him. She didn't mean to kill him, though. She was just so furious with him because of his gambling. He had just lost the rest of his inheritance, you see, even our home, over a stupid game of cards." "So that's why?" "Yes. And my mother was so shocked that she'd killed him, rather than just wounding him to punish him as she'd intended, that she backed away from him in horror and backed right out the window that was behind her. I still think I could have prevented their deaths if I'd just got upstairs sooner when the shouting began."
Reggie did some patting now. "It's almost impossible to interrupt a volatile argument. The participants tend to ignore anything around them." "I know." Kelsey sighed. "My parents never argued in front of the servants, yet there were at least seven of ours standing right outside their open door, avidly listening to everything and blocking me from getting inside, one even holding me back, warning me that that was no time to disturb them. And then the shot was fired..." "That is so tragic-oh, dear, it was called The Tragedy, wasn't it?" "Yes," Kelsey said, wincing at that word. "And everything really had been lost of my parents' wealth. That bastard who won that card game even came to evict my sister and me from our home only a few days after the funerals." "Bastard is right," Reggie said, angry on her friend's behalf. "Who was he? I'd like to introduce him to my Uncle James."
Kelsey smiled weakly. "I wish I knew. But I was too shocked at that time to remember his name." "You poor dear," Reggie sympathized. "It's no wonder you did what you did." "It wasn't because of that, Reggie," Kelsey corrected. "We still had one relative to turn to, my mother's sister, Elizabeth. She's a dear, sweet woman-whom you've met." "Oh, good Lord," Reggie said as it dawned on her. "That was your aunt in that hotel?" "Yes, she and my sister are in town for some holiday shopping-and they don't know what I've done. I've had to lie to them, too. They think I'm staying with a sick friend here in London."
Reggie sat back, frowning. "Now you have completely confused me." "Sorry, I shouldn't have digressed. After my parents' deaths, my sister, jean, and I went to live with our aunt, and she was very glad to have us. Everything would have been fine, should have been, if my aunt's husband, Elliott, had had a bit more fortitude." "A scoundrel?" "Not really, just weak of character, apparently. You should know that he comes from good family, but not from wealth. Even the house they lived in had belonged to my family. My mother never understood why Elizabeth married him, but she did, and I might add that she has lived very happily wit him all these years-and she doesn't know what happened. We were able to keep that from her." "Another gambler?" "That's what I thought at first when I found Elliott sitting over a bottle of strong spirits, contemplating killing himself. He's always worked to support them, you see, and he had a very good job for many years. But he lost it. And he'd been so distraught over losing it that he hadn't been able to keep another job since. If he had just put that failure behind him and gone on-but I suppose he had lost confidence in himself." "No fortitude, as you said." Reggie snorted. "Apparently. Yet they continued to live as if nothing had changed. They even took in my sister and me when they couldn't afford it. The debts kept mounting. There was no money coming in, no money saved up to fall back on, and no one else to borrow from. All that had been done already. And it had reached a point where the creditors were going to take my aunt's house away in just three days if Elliott didn't settle his accounts immediately."
Reggie sighed. "I suppose you talked him out of killing himself? Don't know if I would have." "When it would only have made matters worse-for my aunt, anyway? She didn't know how bad it was and that she was about to lose her house. We were all going to end up on the streets, with nowhere to go and no one to turn to and in just three days. If only Elliott had said something sooner, there might have been time for me to find a rich husband. But three days wasn't enough time." "No, a bit more time than that is needed," Reggie agreed. "Unless you're in the process of being courted. I suppose you weren't?" "No," Kelsey replied. "I was still in mourning, and in a new town. I hadn't met any eligible men there yet. And Elliott didn't hobnob with the gentry. He didn't know anyone to approach either. There wasn't even enough time for me to find a job, if I could have found one that would have paid well enough to support us. And I had my sister to consider. She's only twelve, and my responsibility." "So you came up with the idea of auctioning yourself?" Reggie concluded.
Kelsey chuckled at that point. "Me? I had no idea such things could be done."
Reggie grinned. "No, I suppose you wouldn't. Then it was actually your uncle's suggestion?"
Reggie shook her head. "Not really. He was so foxed that night that he was rambling a bit. He mentioned a friend of his who'd faced the same situation, but whose daughter had saved the family by selling herself to an old lecher who prized virgins. Then he mentioned that some men would pay for a new mistress if she was 'fresh/ as in not having been discovered by his friends yet." "I cannot believe he would speak of such things to his innocent niece," Reggie said, appalled. "I'm sure he wouldn't have if he'd been sober, but he certainly wasn't. And it was a solution, when I hadn't thought there was any. But then, I was so shocked over the entire situation that I don't think I was thinking any clearer than he was. At any rate, I asked him if he knew of anyone who would pay to acquire a new mistress. He didn't, but he said he knew of a place that rich lords frequented where I could be presented to receive an offer."
Reggie frowned. "That doesn't sound like an auction to me.” "It didn't to me either," Kelsey admitted. "I had no idea that's what it would be, or that the 'place' was a house of ill repute. But I had already agreed, had already been left at that house. And it did still seem to be the only way to get Elliott's debts paid off in the short time allowed. "Elliott certainly had no way to come up with that large a sum. He'd already exhausted all his options. His solution had been to kill himself so he wouldn't have to face telling my aunt that they were about to lose everything. And I still had my sister to consider. I didn't want her to lose her chance for a decent marriage someday. None of this was her fault." "It wasn't your fault either." "No, but I was the only one who could do something about it. And so I did what I had to do. But it hasn't worked out so badly, Reggie. I'm very happy with Derek."
“you love him, don't you?" "Yes." "Then marry him." "No. I gave up my chance for ever marrying when I was put up on a table in a room full of lords and auctioned to the highest bidder." "Derek must not think so if he asked you to marry him," Reggie pointed out. "Derek was conveniently forgetting how he met me. But I'll never forget it. And he's had more time to consider and come to his senses. He hasn't asked me again." "Stupid society rules," Reggie almost growled. "They've got no business governing our lives the way they do."
Kelsey grinned. "Are you forgetting that you wouldn't be married to your Nicholas right now if those rules hadn't governed you at the time?"
Reggie coughed. "Quite right."
IT WAS TRADITIONAL FOR THE MALORY CLAN TO GATHER AT Haverston for the Christmas holidays. Derek usually stayed a week or two, as did most of the family. He had no plans to do otherwise that year. But because he was going to be gone that long, he took Kelsey with him. Not to Haverston, of course, though he bloody well wished he could.
He would have liked to show her the ancestral estate where he grew up, to introduce her to the rest of the family, to kiss her under the mistletoe that was hung over the entrance of the parlor each yuletide. None of that was possible, though-at least it wasn't until she agreed to marry him, and he certainly hadn't given up on that notion. He was simply biding his time, waiting for an ideal opportunity to broach the subject again. One where, he hoped, she wouldn't fly off the handle.
So he put her up in a nice inn nearby where he could still slip away to see her each day. But he didn't like it. And his mood was somewhat dampened because of it. He wondered if that was why Reggie had kicked him in the shin the first thing when she arrived. No, she hadn't had time yet to notice, that he was brooding. Besides, it was just like her to kick him for no good reason, the minx-and to not tell him why.
Amy and Warren showed up, having returned from their wedding trip. The newly wedded couple were looking ra-diantly happy. That only added to Derek's misery.
To get his mind off his own problems, Derek tried to figure out who his father's longtime mistress was. But it was an impossible task. There were just too many people at Haverston, as big as it was, who had been there for as long as he could remember. The only thing to do was to simply ask his father. But it was hard to find him alone, with the entire family in the house.
He managed it, though, on his third day there. Jason had risen early, and Derek was just returning from spending the night with Kelsey. They met on the stairs. Derek, tired-the time he spent with Kelsey he didn't spend sleeping-almost blurted his question right out, but that would have been a bit tactless. He asked for a private word instead, and followed his father to his study.
It was so early that the drapes hadn't yet been drawn. Jason did this while Derek slumped down in one of the chairs by his desk.
He ended up blurting it out anyway. "Who's the mistress you've been keeping here all these years?"
Jason paused on his way to his desk. "I beg your pardon?" Derek grinned. "Might as well fess up. I have it on good authority that your mistress lives right here at Haverston with you. Who is she?" "None of your business," Jason said stiffly. "And on what good authority?" "Frances." "Damn that woman!" Jason exploded. "She swore she Wouldn't tell you."
Derek was too tired to grasp the significance of his father's remark. "Don't think she meant to," he allowed. "I ran into her with her lover, you see. And I was about to throttle him."
Reggie sat down across from Kelsey, now that she'd fallen silent, and poured them each tea. She was waiting for Kelsey to begin, patiently, too. Kelsey was still searching for the right words. But there were none-at least, none to make this any easier. "Actually," Kelsey finally began, "Derek has asked me to marry him."
Reggie beamed happily. "I knew-" "But I won't, and I told him so." Reggie blinked. "Why not?"' "Because of how he acquired me. You see, what you were told about me, it was all a lie. But he didn't know what else to tell you at the time. He didn't know you and I had already met previously." "What was a lie?" "I'm not Percy's cousin," Kelsey admitted. "I'm Derek's mistress."
Reggie rolled her eyes and said dryly, "I've already gathered that." "No, what I mean is, I was already his mistress when I first met you. He bought me at an auction in a house of ill repute, one frequented by many lords of his acquaintance. That's why I won't marry him. The scandal of such a marriage would be horrendous."
Reggie took a moment to absorb that, but then said, "'Scandal is nothing new to my family-but what the devil were You doing in a place like that? And if you try to tell me you aren't a lady, that you belonged there, I'll toss you out of my house on your ear."
Kelsey's eye's widened, but then she burst out laughing. It felt very good indeed, certainly wasn't what she had gone there expecting to do.
She was still smiling when she said, "No, I wouldn't try to tell you that. Actually, I would like to tell you the truth, but I can't-that is, not unless you promise it won't go any further. Not even your husband can know 'Reggie. And certainly not Derek. If he does, he would insist on marrying me, and I care too much for him to bring that kind of scandal down on him." "But you and Derek are-what I mean is, well, why doesn't he at least know?" "Because I haven't told him, nor will 1. He doesn't know anything about me, really, other than the few lies I've told him. When I made the decision to do what I did, I had to come up with a new background for myself to protect my own family from the scandal that would evolve if it was ever discovered who I really am. Derek thinks my mother was a governess, that I benefited from the fine tutors that her charges had, and that's why my speech is refined." "The gullible lout." Reggie snorted. "He actually believed that?" "Why wouldn't he, considering where he found me?" Kelsey said in Derek's defense. "Hmmm, I suppose," Reggie allowed. "But what is the truth, then?" "Your promise?" "I can't even tell my husband?" Reggie wheedled. "I could get him to swear-" "Not even him."
Reggie sighed. "Yes, I promise."
Kelsey nodded, but took a sip of her tea, wondering where to begin. Perhaps with her parents ... "My father was David Phillip Langton, the fourth Earl of Lanscastle from Kettering." "Good God, wasn't he the earl who was shot earlier this year by-er Reggie fell silent with a cough, blushing profusely.
Kelsey leaned forward to pat her hand. "It's all right, and quite common knowledge, apparently. Yes, my mother shot him. She didn't mean to kill him, though. She was just so furious with him because of his gambling. He had just lost the rest of his inheritance, you see, even our home, over a stupid game of cards." "So that's why?" "Yes. And my mother was so shocked that she'd killed him, rather than just wounding him to punish him as she'd intended, that she backed away from him in horror and backed right out the window that was behind her. I still think I could have prevented their deaths if I'd just got upstairs sooner when the shouting began."
Reggie did some patting now. "It's almost impossible to interrupt a volatile argument. The participants tend to ignore anything around them." "I know." Kelsey sighed. "My parents never argued in front of the servants, yet there were at least seven of ours standing right outside their open door, avidly listening to everything and blocking me from getting inside, one even holding me back, warning me that that was no time to disturb them. And then the shot was fired..." "That is so tragic-oh, dear, it was called The Tragedy, wasn't it?" "Yes," Kelsey said, wincing at that word. "And everything really had been lost of my parents' wealth. That bastard who won that card game even came to evict my sister and me from our home only a few days after the funerals." "Bastard is right," Reggie said, angry on her friend's behalf. "Who was he? I'd like to introduce him to my Uncle James."
Kelsey smiled weakly. "I wish I knew. But I was too shocked at that time to remember his name." "You poor dear," Reggie sympathized. "It's no wonder you did what you did." "It wasn't because of that, Reggie," Kelsey corrected. "We still had one relative to turn to, my mother's sister, Elizabeth. She's a dear, sweet woman-whom you've met." "Oh, good Lord," Reggie said as it dawned on her. "That was your aunt in that hotel?" "Yes, she and my sister are in town for some holiday shopping-and they don't know what I've done. I've had to lie to them, too. They think I'm staying with a sick friend here in London."
Reggie sat back, frowning. "Now you have completely confused me." "Sorry, I shouldn't have digressed. After my parents' deaths, my sister, jean, and I went to live with our aunt, and she was very glad to have us. Everything would have been fine, should have been, if my aunt's husband, Elliott, had had a bit more fortitude." "A scoundrel?" "Not really, just weak of character, apparently. You should know that he comes from good family, but not from wealth. Even the house they lived in had belonged to my family. My mother never understood why Elizabeth married him, but she did, and I might add that she has lived very happily wit him all these years-and she doesn't know what happened. We were able to keep that from her." "Another gambler?" "That's what I thought at first when I found Elliott sitting over a bottle of strong spirits, contemplating killing himself. He's always worked to support them, you see, and he had a very good job for many years. But he lost it. And he'd been so distraught over losing it that he hadn't been able to keep another job since. If he had just put that failure behind him and gone on-but I suppose he had lost confidence in himself." "No fortitude, as you said." Reggie snorted. "Apparently. Yet they continued to live as if nothing had changed. They even took in my sister and me when they couldn't afford it. The debts kept mounting. There was no money coming in, no money saved up to fall back on, and no one else to borrow from. All that had been done already. And it had reached a point where the creditors were going to take my aunt's house away in just three days if Elliott didn't settle his accounts immediately."
Reggie sighed. "I suppose you talked him out of killing himself? Don't know if I would have." "When it would only have made matters worse-for my aunt, anyway? She didn't know how bad it was and that she was about to lose her house. We were all going to end up on the streets, with nowhere to go and no one to turn to and in just three days. If only Elliott had said something sooner, there might have been time for me to find a rich husband. But three days wasn't enough time." "No, a bit more time than that is needed," Reggie agreed. "Unless you're in the process of being courted. I suppose you weren't?" "No," Kelsey replied. "I was still in mourning, and in a new town. I hadn't met any eligible men there yet. And Elliott didn't hobnob with the gentry. He didn't know anyone to approach either. There wasn't even enough time for me to find a job, if I could have found one that would have paid well enough to support us. And I had my sister to consider. She's only twelve, and my responsibility." "So you came up with the idea of auctioning yourself?" Reggie concluded.
Kelsey chuckled at that point. "Me? I had no idea such things could be done."
Reggie grinned. "No, I suppose you wouldn't. Then it was actually your uncle's suggestion?"
Reggie shook her head. "Not really. He was so foxed that night that he was rambling a bit. He mentioned a friend of his who'd faced the same situation, but whose daughter had saved the family by selling herself to an old lecher who prized virgins. Then he mentioned that some men would pay for a new mistress if she was 'fresh/ as in not having been discovered by his friends yet." "I cannot believe he would speak of such things to his innocent niece," Reggie said, appalled. "I'm sure he wouldn't have if he'd been sober, but he certainly wasn't. And it was a solution, when I hadn't thought there was any. But then, I was so shocked over the entire situation that I don't think I was thinking any clearer than he was. At any rate, I asked him if he knew of anyone who would pay to acquire a new mistress. He didn't, but he said he knew of a place that rich lords frequented where I could be presented to receive an offer."
Reggie frowned. "That doesn't sound like an auction to me.” "It didn't to me either," Kelsey admitted. "I had no idea that's what it would be, or that the 'place' was a house of ill repute. But I had already agreed, had already been left at that house. And it did still seem to be the only way to get Elliott's debts paid off in the short time allowed. "Elliott certainly had no way to come up with that large a sum. He'd already exhausted all his options. His solution had been to kill himself so he wouldn't have to face telling my aunt that they were about to lose everything. And I still had my sister to consider. I didn't want her to lose her chance for a decent marriage someday. None of this was her fault." "It wasn't your fault either." "No, but I was the only one who could do something about it. And so I did what I had to do. But it hasn't worked out so badly, Reggie. I'm very happy with Derek."
“you love him, don't you?" "Yes." "Then marry him." "No. I gave up my chance for ever marrying when I was put up on a table in a room full of lords and auctioned to the highest bidder." "Derek must not think so if he asked you to marry him," Reggie pointed out. "Derek was conveniently forgetting how he met me. But I'll never forget it. And he's had more time to consider and come to his senses. He hasn't asked me again." "Stupid society rules," Reggie almost growled. "They've got no business governing our lives the way they do."
Kelsey grinned. "Are you forgetting that you wouldn't be married to your Nicholas right now if those rules hadn't governed you at the time?"
Reggie coughed. "Quite right."
IT WAS TRADITIONAL FOR THE MALORY CLAN TO GATHER AT Haverston for the Christmas holidays. Derek usually stayed a week or two, as did most of the family. He had no plans to do otherwise that year. But because he was going to be gone that long, he took Kelsey with him. Not to Haverston, of course, though he bloody well wished he could.
He would have liked to show her the ancestral estate where he grew up, to introduce her to the rest of the family, to kiss her under the mistletoe that was hung over the entrance of the parlor each yuletide. None of that was possible, though-at least it wasn't until she agreed to marry him, and he certainly hadn't given up on that notion. He was simply biding his time, waiting for an ideal opportunity to broach the subject again. One where, he hoped, she wouldn't fly off the handle.
So he put her up in a nice inn nearby where he could still slip away to see her each day. But he didn't like it. And his mood was somewhat dampened because of it. He wondered if that was why Reggie had kicked him in the shin the first thing when she arrived. No, she hadn't had time yet to notice, that he was brooding. Besides, it was just like her to kick him for no good reason, the minx-and to not tell him why.
Amy and Warren showed up, having returned from their wedding trip. The newly wedded couple were looking ra-diantly happy. That only added to Derek's misery.
To get his mind off his own problems, Derek tried to figure out who his father's longtime mistress was. But it was an impossible task. There were just too many people at Haverston, as big as it was, who had been there for as long as he could remember. The only thing to do was to simply ask his father. But it was hard to find him alone, with the entire family in the house.
He managed it, though, on his third day there. Jason had risen early, and Derek was just returning from spending the night with Kelsey. They met on the stairs. Derek, tired-the time he spent with Kelsey he didn't spend sleeping-almost blurted his question right out, but that would have been a bit tactless. He asked for a private word instead, and followed his father to his study.
It was so early that the drapes hadn't yet been drawn. Jason did this while Derek slumped down in one of the chairs by his desk.
He ended up blurting it out anyway. "Who's the mistress you've been keeping here all these years?"
Jason paused on his way to his desk. "I beg your pardon?" Derek grinned. "Might as well fess up. I have it on good authority that your mistress lives right here at Haverston with you. Who is she?" "None of your business," Jason said stiffly. "And on what good authority?" "Frances." "Damn that woman!" Jason exploded. "She swore she Wouldn't tell you."
Derek was too tired to grasp the significance of his father's remark. "Don't think she meant to," he allowed. "I ran into her with her lover, you see. And I was about to throttle him."
