Secret
Page 100
“I didn’t know what was wrong,” Gabriel said, his words rushed, as if he worried Nick would cut him off again. “I didn’t know your secret. And then—then this complete stranger was apologizing to me, and I knew you were so upset. It was—that night, it was all wrong. I was keyed up from the fight with Tyler.
It was a misunderstanding. And then you were fighting me, and I figured out that you had been keeping this huge monumental secret, and I just—I snapped.”
“That’s not good enough.” Nick gritted his teeth. “You shouldn’t have been fighting him. You shouldn’t have put your hands on him.”
“I know. And I apologized to him.”
Nick’s head was reeling. “What? When?”
“This morning, when I called him and asked what time his audition was.”
Nick stared at him.
“I told him not to tell you,” Gabriel added. He hesitated. “I didn’t think you’d let me come.”
Nick wouldn’t have. He had to clear his throat. “What else did you talk about?”
“I asked him why you thought you had to keep this a secret from me.”
Nick glared at him. “You know why. You showed why.”
“No.” And on this, Gabriel’s voice was firm. “I acted like a total shit that night. I apologized for it, and I’ll do it a hundred more times if I have to. But you went to a lot of trouble to keep this secret, way before we went to that coffee shop. Jesus, Nick, two weeks ago you and Quinn were making out on the floor of your bedroom.”
Nick looked away.
Gabriel leaned close, and his voice was very quiet. “Please.
Please, talk to me.”
Nick had to swallow. He felt his brother’s pain in those words, how much this imposed distance had hurt him. If Nick was being strictly honest with himself, it had hurt him, too. He missed his brother.
He kept his voice very low. “What did Adam say?”
Gabriel grimaced. “He said I needed to ask you.”
“I knew you already thought of me as . . . as something lesser. I didn’t—”
“Nick, you are not—”
“Don’t. Gabriel, don’t.”
“I have never thought you were lesser, Nick. Never. Do you understand me? Sometimes—sometimes I envy you. Your control—you’re stronger than the rest of us.”
Nick looked at him. “I am not.”
Gabriel nodded. “You are. Look at what happened in the woods.”
Nick didn’t say anything to that. His eyes fixed on the seat in front of him again.
“Nicky—” Gabriel made a frustrated noise. “Nick. If you think you’re lesser because of the whole g*y thing, that’s just insane—”
“Is it?” Nick snapped his head around, suddenly furious again. “You made it so easy to tell you all about it.”
Gabriel flinched. He swallowed. “You’re right.” He paused.
“I was wrong. So wrong.”
They sat there in silence for the longest time, the air full of music and unspoken thoughts.
Finally Nick cut a glance sideways. “I didn’t—I didn’t trust you not to let me down. That’s why I didn’t tell you.”
“And when you took a chance, I blew it.” He paused. “You needed me. For the first time, you really needed me.”
Nick looked at him. “Yeah, Gabriel. I did.”
Gabriel didn’t look away. “I’m sorry.” He paused. “Will you give me a chance to make it up to you?”
Nick nodded. “Okay.”
He expected Gabriel to hug him, but his brother whipped out his phone and started texting.
Nick watched his fingers fly across the screen. “What are you doing?”
“Telling Hunter to get everyone down here. Aren’t Adam and Quinn up soon?”
“Yes—but they’ll never get here in time—”
“Sure they will. They’re waiting in the back of the auditorium.”
“Waiting—what?”
Gabriel finished his message and looked up. “Oh, you didn’t think I was coming alone to support your new boyfriend, did you?”
Quinn stood beside Adam and peeked around the corner of the curtain, looking for Nick.
She saw the crowd of people and went rigid. “Holy crap,”
she whispered. “He brought everyone.”
Adam was taking long, slow breaths, watching the dancers before them. “Everyone?”
“Everyone,” she breathed. “I told Becca and her mom not to come. But this . . . this is everyone.”
All of Nick’s brothers. Michael’s girlfriend. Layne, and her little brother, Simon. Becca and Hunter. Becca’s mother, who’d even brought Quinn’s little brother.
But not Tyler.
Well, of course not. He and the Merricks hadn’t magically be-come friends. Firing a gun didn’t erase years of hatred.
And it wasn’t like Tyler had reached out to her, even after Mrs. Chandler had told Quinn about his phone call.
Maybe he saw it as just finishing a good deed and stepping aside.
Adam was fidgeting, smoothing the adhesive number against his shirt for the zillionth time.
Quinn put her hands over his. “You’re amazing. You’ve got this.”
“You’re amazing,” he said back. “Thank you for doing this for me.”
She lost her smile. “Thank you for believing in me.”
It was a misunderstanding. And then you were fighting me, and I figured out that you had been keeping this huge monumental secret, and I just—I snapped.”
“That’s not good enough.” Nick gritted his teeth. “You shouldn’t have been fighting him. You shouldn’t have put your hands on him.”
“I know. And I apologized to him.”
Nick’s head was reeling. “What? When?”
“This morning, when I called him and asked what time his audition was.”
Nick stared at him.
“I told him not to tell you,” Gabriel added. He hesitated. “I didn’t think you’d let me come.”
Nick wouldn’t have. He had to clear his throat. “What else did you talk about?”
“I asked him why you thought you had to keep this a secret from me.”
Nick glared at him. “You know why. You showed why.”
“No.” And on this, Gabriel’s voice was firm. “I acted like a total shit that night. I apologized for it, and I’ll do it a hundred more times if I have to. But you went to a lot of trouble to keep this secret, way before we went to that coffee shop. Jesus, Nick, two weeks ago you and Quinn were making out on the floor of your bedroom.”
Nick looked away.
Gabriel leaned close, and his voice was very quiet. “Please.
Please, talk to me.”
Nick had to swallow. He felt his brother’s pain in those words, how much this imposed distance had hurt him. If Nick was being strictly honest with himself, it had hurt him, too. He missed his brother.
He kept his voice very low. “What did Adam say?”
Gabriel grimaced. “He said I needed to ask you.”
“I knew you already thought of me as . . . as something lesser. I didn’t—”
“Nick, you are not—”
“Don’t. Gabriel, don’t.”
“I have never thought you were lesser, Nick. Never. Do you understand me? Sometimes—sometimes I envy you. Your control—you’re stronger than the rest of us.”
Nick looked at him. “I am not.”
Gabriel nodded. “You are. Look at what happened in the woods.”
Nick didn’t say anything to that. His eyes fixed on the seat in front of him again.
“Nicky—” Gabriel made a frustrated noise. “Nick. If you think you’re lesser because of the whole g*y thing, that’s just insane—”
“Is it?” Nick snapped his head around, suddenly furious again. “You made it so easy to tell you all about it.”
Gabriel flinched. He swallowed. “You’re right.” He paused.
“I was wrong. So wrong.”
They sat there in silence for the longest time, the air full of music and unspoken thoughts.
Finally Nick cut a glance sideways. “I didn’t—I didn’t trust you not to let me down. That’s why I didn’t tell you.”
“And when you took a chance, I blew it.” He paused. “You needed me. For the first time, you really needed me.”
Nick looked at him. “Yeah, Gabriel. I did.”
Gabriel didn’t look away. “I’m sorry.” He paused. “Will you give me a chance to make it up to you?”
Nick nodded. “Okay.”
He expected Gabriel to hug him, but his brother whipped out his phone and started texting.
Nick watched his fingers fly across the screen. “What are you doing?”
“Telling Hunter to get everyone down here. Aren’t Adam and Quinn up soon?”
“Yes—but they’ll never get here in time—”
“Sure they will. They’re waiting in the back of the auditorium.”
“Waiting—what?”
Gabriel finished his message and looked up. “Oh, you didn’t think I was coming alone to support your new boyfriend, did you?”
Quinn stood beside Adam and peeked around the corner of the curtain, looking for Nick.
She saw the crowd of people and went rigid. “Holy crap,”
she whispered. “He brought everyone.”
Adam was taking long, slow breaths, watching the dancers before them. “Everyone?”
“Everyone,” she breathed. “I told Becca and her mom not to come. But this . . . this is everyone.”
All of Nick’s brothers. Michael’s girlfriend. Layne, and her little brother, Simon. Becca and Hunter. Becca’s mother, who’d even brought Quinn’s little brother.
But not Tyler.
Well, of course not. He and the Merricks hadn’t magically be-come friends. Firing a gun didn’t erase years of hatred.
And it wasn’t like Tyler had reached out to her, even after Mrs. Chandler had told Quinn about his phone call.
Maybe he saw it as just finishing a good deed and stepping aside.
Adam was fidgeting, smoothing the adhesive number against his shirt for the zillionth time.
Quinn put her hands over his. “You’re amazing. You’ve got this.”
“You’re amazing,” he said back. “Thank you for doing this for me.”
She lost her smile. “Thank you for believing in me.”
