Secret
Page 99
Nick made a sound that was half laugh, half sob. “Would they have been proud of all of it?”
“Yeah, Nick.” No hesitation. “They would have been proud of everything you are.”
Nick swiped at his eyes and looked back at Michael’s letters.
“Do you regret it?”
“Regret? No. Do I think about what ifs?” He shrugged again, then smiled a little ruefully. “Yes. Every spring when I watch Chris play.”
“What are you going to do with the business, though? If Gabriel and Hunter are going to take the EMT course, and—”
“Nick, it’s fine. I’ll hire some people.”
He dropped the words so simply that Nick felt like an idiot for not even thinking about it. “You’ll—wait. What? You can do that?”
Michael leaned back in his chair. “Sure. I’d probably like it. I could do a job with someone who won’t give me a load of crap at the dinner table or sneak out of the house.”
Nick studied him. “You sound like you’ve been thinking about that for a while.”
Michael paused, and now he looked a little hesitant. “At dinner, Hannah’s father had some thoughts about how I could expand the business . . . maybe do more with it . . . I don’t know.
It’s something to think about. Maybe this college course is a sign.” He grimaced. “And honestly, Nick, you’ll need all the help you can get. You know we don’t have a lot of money for college.”
“Well,” said Nick, “maybe I can help with that.” He shoved his original stack of letters across the table.
Michael read the first. Then the second.
He didn’t even get to the third.
He was too busy pulling Nick out of his chair to hug him.
CHAPTER 35
Nick sat in the darkened auditorium, watching auditions, feeling the music as it rolled through the theater. Adam and Quinn had been sitting with him, offering running com-mentary on every dancer to take the stage. He’d nodded along and pretended to understand half the stuff they gossiped about, but now they were due on stage themselves, and they’d left him out here to watch.
He could feel their nerves from here.
Nick tried to feed positive energy into the air.
A hand grabbed the seat-back next to him, then someone swung into the seat beside him.
Nick almost did a double take. Gabriel.
It was enough to shock him out of silence. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“Shh. People are performing.”
“You shouldn’t be here.” Nick’s chest felt tight with rage.
“This is important. This isn’t a joke, Gabriel.”
“No kidding. Would you calm down?”
“Get out. Now.” His breath was shaking and the air had dropped a few degrees. That his brother would use this—that Gabriel would show up here—this was—this was—
Nick swallowed and tried to keep it together. “If you mess with him—if you screw this up—I swear to god—”
“I’m not messing with him. And I know it’s important.”
Gabriel turned away from the stage and met Nick’s eyes. “I came here to support my brother’s boyfriend. That okay with you?”
Silence hung between them for the longest moment.
It poked the tiniest hole in Nick’s anger. He quickly plugged it up. “I’m not falling for this.”
Gabriel sighed. “All right. Don’t, then.” He got up, shifted into the aisle, and started walking toward the exit.
No, he moved down a few rows, easing into a new seat.
Nick sat there and watched him. He could feel his twin’s disappointment, his anguish. He felt it himself.
Damn you, Gabriel.
He finally sighed and moved down a few rows to sit beside his twin brother.
Gabriel offered a wicked smile. “I knew this would get you.”
“I hate you.”
The smile vanished. “No. You don’t.”
“I do. A little.” Nick faced forward and rubbed at the back of his neck. A girl in pointe shoes was twirling across the stage.
“You really hurt me. A lot—a lot more than I thought was possible.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
Nick didn’t say anything. He didn’t know if he wanted this apology.
“I wish I could take it back,” Gabriel said. “You have no idea—”
“Don’t. Don’t do this here.”
Gabriel shut up as if Nick had smacked him. They watched the next routine in tense silence.
Then Gabriel leaned in. “I read your text messages.”
“You what?”
Half a dozen people turned around and hushed him.
Nick clenched his fists and glared at Gabriel. “What are you talking about? When?”
“When you left the phone in the car. At first I just plugged it in to make sure it wasn’t busted. But when it powered up, I saw it was on the text chat with Adam, so—”
“So you read them? ”
Gabriel met his eyes and didn’t recoil from his anger. “Those things I said—I didn’t mean them. I didn’t know, Nicky.” He winced. “Nick. I didn’t know. I never meant to hurt you.”
Nick didn’t say anything to that. Was this enough? It didn’t feel like enough.
He turned his head and asked the question that had reverberated through his head since the instant he’d felt his twin’s fist slam into his face. “How could you, Gabriel?” His whispered voice almost broke. “How could you do what you did?”
“Yeah, Nick.” No hesitation. “They would have been proud of everything you are.”
Nick swiped at his eyes and looked back at Michael’s letters.
“Do you regret it?”
“Regret? No. Do I think about what ifs?” He shrugged again, then smiled a little ruefully. “Yes. Every spring when I watch Chris play.”
“What are you going to do with the business, though? If Gabriel and Hunter are going to take the EMT course, and—”
“Nick, it’s fine. I’ll hire some people.”
He dropped the words so simply that Nick felt like an idiot for not even thinking about it. “You’ll—wait. What? You can do that?”
Michael leaned back in his chair. “Sure. I’d probably like it. I could do a job with someone who won’t give me a load of crap at the dinner table or sneak out of the house.”
Nick studied him. “You sound like you’ve been thinking about that for a while.”
Michael paused, and now he looked a little hesitant. “At dinner, Hannah’s father had some thoughts about how I could expand the business . . . maybe do more with it . . . I don’t know.
It’s something to think about. Maybe this college course is a sign.” He grimaced. “And honestly, Nick, you’ll need all the help you can get. You know we don’t have a lot of money for college.”
“Well,” said Nick, “maybe I can help with that.” He shoved his original stack of letters across the table.
Michael read the first. Then the second.
He didn’t even get to the third.
He was too busy pulling Nick out of his chair to hug him.
CHAPTER 35
Nick sat in the darkened auditorium, watching auditions, feeling the music as it rolled through the theater. Adam and Quinn had been sitting with him, offering running com-mentary on every dancer to take the stage. He’d nodded along and pretended to understand half the stuff they gossiped about, but now they were due on stage themselves, and they’d left him out here to watch.
He could feel their nerves from here.
Nick tried to feed positive energy into the air.
A hand grabbed the seat-back next to him, then someone swung into the seat beside him.
Nick almost did a double take. Gabriel.
It was enough to shock him out of silence. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“Shh. People are performing.”
“You shouldn’t be here.” Nick’s chest felt tight with rage.
“This is important. This isn’t a joke, Gabriel.”
“No kidding. Would you calm down?”
“Get out. Now.” His breath was shaking and the air had dropped a few degrees. That his brother would use this—that Gabriel would show up here—this was—this was—
Nick swallowed and tried to keep it together. “If you mess with him—if you screw this up—I swear to god—”
“I’m not messing with him. And I know it’s important.”
Gabriel turned away from the stage and met Nick’s eyes. “I came here to support my brother’s boyfriend. That okay with you?”
Silence hung between them for the longest moment.
It poked the tiniest hole in Nick’s anger. He quickly plugged it up. “I’m not falling for this.”
Gabriel sighed. “All right. Don’t, then.” He got up, shifted into the aisle, and started walking toward the exit.
No, he moved down a few rows, easing into a new seat.
Nick sat there and watched him. He could feel his twin’s disappointment, his anguish. He felt it himself.
Damn you, Gabriel.
He finally sighed and moved down a few rows to sit beside his twin brother.
Gabriel offered a wicked smile. “I knew this would get you.”
“I hate you.”
The smile vanished. “No. You don’t.”
“I do. A little.” Nick faced forward and rubbed at the back of his neck. A girl in pointe shoes was twirling across the stage.
“You really hurt me. A lot—a lot more than I thought was possible.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
Nick didn’t say anything. He didn’t know if he wanted this apology.
“I wish I could take it back,” Gabriel said. “You have no idea—”
“Don’t. Don’t do this here.”
Gabriel shut up as if Nick had smacked him. They watched the next routine in tense silence.
Then Gabriel leaned in. “I read your text messages.”
“You what?”
Half a dozen people turned around and hushed him.
Nick clenched his fists and glared at Gabriel. “What are you talking about? When?”
“When you left the phone in the car. At first I just plugged it in to make sure it wasn’t busted. But when it powered up, I saw it was on the text chat with Adam, so—”
“So you read them? ”
Gabriel met his eyes and didn’t recoil from his anger. “Those things I said—I didn’t mean them. I didn’t know, Nicky.” He winced. “Nick. I didn’t know. I never meant to hurt you.”
Nick didn’t say anything to that. Was this enough? It didn’t feel like enough.
He turned his head and asked the question that had reverberated through his head since the instant he’d felt his twin’s fist slam into his face. “How could you, Gabriel?” His whispered voice almost broke. “How could you do what you did?”
