Shadow Bound
Page 54
“That doesn’t mean anything, except that he’s a nice guy.” Too nice for the syndicate. Too nice for me.
Julia leaned closer, looking deep into my eyes in search of what every predator wants: fear. “Then why did he lie about what you showed him this afternoon?”
Of course she knew he’d lied. She’d probably smelled his intent before he even opened his mouth.
“Why do you think Jake let him get away with that?” Julia demanded, her voice hard now, a little too angry to be truly taunting. “Why do you think he let Holt cover for you?”
“Because he didn’t know?”
Julia’s frown deepened, and I realized she hadn’t wanted Ian to get away with his lie. She’d wanted Jake to punish me. “Jake knows everything. I make sure of that. He let Holt lie for you because that’s part of the game. Holt was playing the hero, protecting the damsel to win her over, and you fell for it.”
“You’re lying.” But I couldn’t even make myself believe that.
“Think about it, Kori.” She leaned back in her chair, arms crossed confidently over her chest. “Why would a man like Ian tolerate a woman like you? Why would he put up with brash and impulsive when he could have friendly and willing from any girl in Jake’s stable?”
I couldn’t answer. I had no answer.
“He’s kept you around for the same reason a lion would rather kill its own dinner than eat from a dish. He wants the hunt. He wants to play the game. Even if the game is rigged.” She shrugged, and her eyes flashed with cruelty. “After all, he will win. He gets to pretend to win you over with no chance of failure, because in the end, you’re a sure thing. Right? The key is to never let him feel like he’s hunting caged prey. The harder you feign disinterest, the more he will want you.” Julia leaned even closer, staring into my eyes, enjoying whatever she saw there. “You can do that, right? You can make him feel like this is real? Like he’s really working toward a prize?”
I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t think past the horrible ache in my chest. I didn’t want to know what that pain meant, or how it could possibly hurt worse than what I’d lived through in the basement.
“I’m sorry, Kori,” she said, her words sweet, her tone vicious. “I guess Jake just doesn’t understand how badly a girl can be hurt by a game, if she doesn’t know she’s playing.” Julia drained the wine from my glass, then set it down. “Or maybe he doesn’t care.” She smiled sweetly, then, and made her way back to her own table, where Jonah sat watching us both.
I sat at the table alone when she left, silently cursing Ian for accepting Jake’s invitation, Jake for forcing me into this assignment and Jake’s mother for giving birth to any of her three hell-spawn children in the first place. But by the time Ian got back to the table, just as the waiter brought out two bowls of soup, I’d moved on to cursing myself for ever believing a word any of them said. I could blame Jake, Julia and Ian until the day the sun devoured the entire planet, but that would never erase the fact that I’d broken my own number-one rule.
Trust no one.
Me, Kenley and Kris. It had been the three of us against the world since the day our parents died, leaving us with a grandmother who hadn’t wanted kids of her own, much less grandchildren. They were the only ones I could trust. The only people I could lean on. Except that Kris was an hour away, and now Kenley had Vanessa. I was alone in a mess of my own making. And I had no idea how to get out of it.
“You okay?” Ian asked, lifting a spoonful of soup to his mouth.
“I saw you with Julia Tower,” I said, stirring my own soup with my spoon. “What did she want?”
“She was asking about you,” he said, and I watched him carefully, wishing for the first time in my life that I was a Reader rather than a Traveler. Shadow-walking had always made me feel safe and kind of stealthy, because I could get out of almost any situation armed with nothing more than a decent shadow. But whether or not Julia had been lying, she’d showed me one thing for sure—I could shadow-walk away from danger, but I couldn’t walk away from the truth. Hell, lately I couldn’t even identify it.
What if I’d been wrong about Ian from the start? What if it was all a game and everything I thought I knew about him was a lie? What else could I have been wrong about?
“What did you tell her?” I asked, when he studied my face, frowning.
“I told her you’ve been the consummate hostess. That you’re beyond reproach, and that her brother couldn’t have chosen anyone better to show off his empire and its many, varied offerings.”
But Jake hadn’t chosen me. He’d just given Ian what he asked for.
“So, you’re enjoying yourself?” I heard the hollow note in my voice, but I couldn’t fix it. I didn’t know how to act like I was having fun when Julia had just pulled the rug out from under my feet and stuck around to watch me stumble off balance. I was angry, and confused, and more scared than I would ever admit, and it took every ounce of self-control I had to keep from spewing profanity into the heavens.
Unfortunately self-restraint was a poor substitute for gratitude and a love-struck gaze, or whatever Ian expected to see, if Julia was telling the truth. And suddenly I realized she’d known that. Had she set me up to fail, by telling me about Ian’s game, knowing I couldn’t play along if I knew I was playing at all?
Or was the whole thing a lie intended to make me paranoid and even more shrewish than usual?
Julia leaned closer, looking deep into my eyes in search of what every predator wants: fear. “Then why did he lie about what you showed him this afternoon?”
Of course she knew he’d lied. She’d probably smelled his intent before he even opened his mouth.
“Why do you think Jake let him get away with that?” Julia demanded, her voice hard now, a little too angry to be truly taunting. “Why do you think he let Holt cover for you?”
“Because he didn’t know?”
Julia’s frown deepened, and I realized she hadn’t wanted Ian to get away with his lie. She’d wanted Jake to punish me. “Jake knows everything. I make sure of that. He let Holt lie for you because that’s part of the game. Holt was playing the hero, protecting the damsel to win her over, and you fell for it.”
“You’re lying.” But I couldn’t even make myself believe that.
“Think about it, Kori.” She leaned back in her chair, arms crossed confidently over her chest. “Why would a man like Ian tolerate a woman like you? Why would he put up with brash and impulsive when he could have friendly and willing from any girl in Jake’s stable?”
I couldn’t answer. I had no answer.
“He’s kept you around for the same reason a lion would rather kill its own dinner than eat from a dish. He wants the hunt. He wants to play the game. Even if the game is rigged.” She shrugged, and her eyes flashed with cruelty. “After all, he will win. He gets to pretend to win you over with no chance of failure, because in the end, you’re a sure thing. Right? The key is to never let him feel like he’s hunting caged prey. The harder you feign disinterest, the more he will want you.” Julia leaned even closer, staring into my eyes, enjoying whatever she saw there. “You can do that, right? You can make him feel like this is real? Like he’s really working toward a prize?”
I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t think past the horrible ache in my chest. I didn’t want to know what that pain meant, or how it could possibly hurt worse than what I’d lived through in the basement.
“I’m sorry, Kori,” she said, her words sweet, her tone vicious. “I guess Jake just doesn’t understand how badly a girl can be hurt by a game, if she doesn’t know she’s playing.” Julia drained the wine from my glass, then set it down. “Or maybe he doesn’t care.” She smiled sweetly, then, and made her way back to her own table, where Jonah sat watching us both.
I sat at the table alone when she left, silently cursing Ian for accepting Jake’s invitation, Jake for forcing me into this assignment and Jake’s mother for giving birth to any of her three hell-spawn children in the first place. But by the time Ian got back to the table, just as the waiter brought out two bowls of soup, I’d moved on to cursing myself for ever believing a word any of them said. I could blame Jake, Julia and Ian until the day the sun devoured the entire planet, but that would never erase the fact that I’d broken my own number-one rule.
Trust no one.
Me, Kenley and Kris. It had been the three of us against the world since the day our parents died, leaving us with a grandmother who hadn’t wanted kids of her own, much less grandchildren. They were the only ones I could trust. The only people I could lean on. Except that Kris was an hour away, and now Kenley had Vanessa. I was alone in a mess of my own making. And I had no idea how to get out of it.
“You okay?” Ian asked, lifting a spoonful of soup to his mouth.
“I saw you with Julia Tower,” I said, stirring my own soup with my spoon. “What did she want?”
“She was asking about you,” he said, and I watched him carefully, wishing for the first time in my life that I was a Reader rather than a Traveler. Shadow-walking had always made me feel safe and kind of stealthy, because I could get out of almost any situation armed with nothing more than a decent shadow. But whether or not Julia had been lying, she’d showed me one thing for sure—I could shadow-walk away from danger, but I couldn’t walk away from the truth. Hell, lately I couldn’t even identify it.
What if I’d been wrong about Ian from the start? What if it was all a game and everything I thought I knew about him was a lie? What else could I have been wrong about?
“What did you tell her?” I asked, when he studied my face, frowning.
“I told her you’ve been the consummate hostess. That you’re beyond reproach, and that her brother couldn’t have chosen anyone better to show off his empire and its many, varied offerings.”
But Jake hadn’t chosen me. He’d just given Ian what he asked for.
“So, you’re enjoying yourself?” I heard the hollow note in my voice, but I couldn’t fix it. I didn’t know how to act like I was having fun when Julia had just pulled the rug out from under my feet and stuck around to watch me stumble off balance. I was angry, and confused, and more scared than I would ever admit, and it took every ounce of self-control I had to keep from spewing profanity into the heavens.
Unfortunately self-restraint was a poor substitute for gratitude and a love-struck gaze, or whatever Ian expected to see, if Julia was telling the truth. And suddenly I realized she’d known that. Had she set me up to fail, by telling me about Ian’s game, knowing I couldn’t play along if I knew I was playing at all?
Or was the whole thing a lie intended to make me paranoid and even more shrewish than usual?
