Shadowing Me
Page 19
“You fuckin’ think?” he growls as he reaches over the countertop for more whiskey.
Jesus, he’s going to kill himself.
I look over at our Prez for an answer as to what the fuck we’re supposed to do about this? He gives me no answer as he moves his attention to the monitor above the bar. My eyes follow. I crave pain but not this kind. This kind of pain is emotional and far more disturbing than the pain that I enjoy lashing out.
“I’m the biggest fuckin’ prick there is,” Prez groans while rubbing his temples.
I say nothing, because he doesn’t want to hear what I have to say. In all honesty, I am so damn disappointed in this club, and we all have enough shit to deal with, without me saying Prez was in the wrong. I will let this one slide for now, even though I don’t condone what he did.
The door to the clubhouse opens. Sniffles fill the air as the door shuts behind them. Winter, Storm, and Piper escort a distraught Akela towards the cabinet that holds all of the fallen. Pyro’s head turns slowly, his eyes trailing her, watching, as if, at any moment, she’ll magically become Lana. He turns back towards the bar and lifts the bottle to his lips.
Prez removes the keys chained at his side, walks to the cabinet, and unlocks it. The room goes silent when he takes Lana’s remains out and hands them to Akela. Her sobs echo as she squeezes the urn tightly to her chest. Her entire body trembles as she mourns the loss of her sister. She shifts, cranes her neck, and looks at Pyro’s back. Firming her grip on the last piece she will ever hold of her sister, she moves slowly, cautiously towards him, Lana’s last words to her rustling against the urn. Tears streaming down her solemn face, she nudges herself onto a bar stool, sets Lana’s ashes down, and slides the envelope towards Pyro. His light puffs of breath as he turns to face her are the only sounds filtering through the air.
“I don’t…,” she sniffles, “I don’t know the extent of what you…,” she clears her throat to gain control of her cracked voice, while wiping the salty diamonds cascading down her face, “of what you had with my sister, but I think you should read this.”
Every eye in the room follows his shaky hand as it slides across the bar towards the envelope. He stops and pulls back a few times before finally resting his fingers on top of it.
Piper moves behind the bar, wets a rag, and hands it to Akela. Her ‘thank you’ is barely audible as she wipes the tears off her face. “You can keep that letter, Pyro. I…,” she huffs out a sigh and wipes her cheeks again, “I think you’re going to want to keep it.” She takes a deep breath. “No, you should keep it.”
The air is tense. No one moves. Hell, no one is even breathing right now as we wait for his response. They stare at one another before he slowly slides the envelope towards him. “Thank you,” he croaks. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
She closes her eyes before she whispers, “You, too.”
Pyro picks the letter up, stands, and after taking one last look at her, he moves towards the hall leading to the apartments.
“Piper, can you show Akela to a room, please?” Winter says, her voice choked with tears.
When Akela hears her name, the devastating look on her face strikes my heart. “Can I please stay where my sister was when she wrote me?”
We look back and forth at each other as we try to figure out where Lana would have been at the time she wrote the letter to her mystery sister. Since none of us has a clue, I hope that Akela knows.
“She called it…,” she chuckles softly while wiping her nose, “she called it the slam room in her letter.”
The room erupts in easy laughter as she smiles at all of us.
“You can stay anywhere you want to, darlin’,” Prez says as he wraps Winter in his arms.
“Did you keep my sister’s belongings? Her lei is needed. It’s the light blue and pink one she wore at our parents’ funeral,” Akela asks, hope shining in her eyes.
Winter answers, “Yes, I know the one. I’ll get it for you,” and takes off down the hall and out of the clubhouse.
Akela stands. “I wish to say a prayer.”
Why didn’t we think to do this? Our faces read the same thing. We knew Lana was Hawaiian and her culture was significant to her. I think it was one of those things that attracted Pyro to her in the first place.
“It’s more of a Hawaiian goodbye,” she whispers in a quiet voice.
A few moments later, Winter returns with the bag that holds the lei. Akela takes it from her, opens it, and gently spreads the garland of dried flowers. After sliding the wreath of plumerias and orchids over her head, she picks up Lana’s urn and turns to Winter. “Please, don’t throw away that bag.”
I take a closer look at the bag and see dried flowers and greenery inside of it.
Storm walks over to Akela and laces their arms together. “I’ll take you to the roof of one of the buildings. You’ll have your privacy.”
Akela looks at her, smiles, and then thanks everyone for their kindness before they trail out of the building.
“Braxx, can you take me to our room so I can process all of this,” Winter says quietly.
Prez says nothing as he guides her towards the exit, and as they walk out, I follow. My lungs lust for fresh air. Sadness has suffocated the inside of that room.
***
Chapter Ten
Shadow
Berry and Mace return while I’m outside smoking and watching Akela as she prepares for Lana’s ceremony on top of the live-in building. They are walking towards me when Pyro comes out of the clubhouse and immediately hones in on Akela. As Berry gets closer, she looks to see what has caught Pyro’s attention. Her loud gasp echoes around the courtyard when she sees Lana’s look alike.
Jesus, he’s going to kill himself.
I look over at our Prez for an answer as to what the fuck we’re supposed to do about this? He gives me no answer as he moves his attention to the monitor above the bar. My eyes follow. I crave pain but not this kind. This kind of pain is emotional and far more disturbing than the pain that I enjoy lashing out.
“I’m the biggest fuckin’ prick there is,” Prez groans while rubbing his temples.
I say nothing, because he doesn’t want to hear what I have to say. In all honesty, I am so damn disappointed in this club, and we all have enough shit to deal with, without me saying Prez was in the wrong. I will let this one slide for now, even though I don’t condone what he did.
The door to the clubhouse opens. Sniffles fill the air as the door shuts behind them. Winter, Storm, and Piper escort a distraught Akela towards the cabinet that holds all of the fallen. Pyro’s head turns slowly, his eyes trailing her, watching, as if, at any moment, she’ll magically become Lana. He turns back towards the bar and lifts the bottle to his lips.
Prez removes the keys chained at his side, walks to the cabinet, and unlocks it. The room goes silent when he takes Lana’s remains out and hands them to Akela. Her sobs echo as she squeezes the urn tightly to her chest. Her entire body trembles as she mourns the loss of her sister. She shifts, cranes her neck, and looks at Pyro’s back. Firming her grip on the last piece she will ever hold of her sister, she moves slowly, cautiously towards him, Lana’s last words to her rustling against the urn. Tears streaming down her solemn face, she nudges herself onto a bar stool, sets Lana’s ashes down, and slides the envelope towards Pyro. His light puffs of breath as he turns to face her are the only sounds filtering through the air.
“I don’t…,” she sniffles, “I don’t know the extent of what you…,” she clears her throat to gain control of her cracked voice, while wiping the salty diamonds cascading down her face, “of what you had with my sister, but I think you should read this.”
Every eye in the room follows his shaky hand as it slides across the bar towards the envelope. He stops and pulls back a few times before finally resting his fingers on top of it.
Piper moves behind the bar, wets a rag, and hands it to Akela. Her ‘thank you’ is barely audible as she wipes the tears off her face. “You can keep that letter, Pyro. I…,” she huffs out a sigh and wipes her cheeks again, “I think you’re going to want to keep it.” She takes a deep breath. “No, you should keep it.”
The air is tense. No one moves. Hell, no one is even breathing right now as we wait for his response. They stare at one another before he slowly slides the envelope towards him. “Thank you,” he croaks. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
She closes her eyes before she whispers, “You, too.”
Pyro picks the letter up, stands, and after taking one last look at her, he moves towards the hall leading to the apartments.
“Piper, can you show Akela to a room, please?” Winter says, her voice choked with tears.
When Akela hears her name, the devastating look on her face strikes my heart. “Can I please stay where my sister was when she wrote me?”
We look back and forth at each other as we try to figure out where Lana would have been at the time she wrote the letter to her mystery sister. Since none of us has a clue, I hope that Akela knows.
“She called it…,” she chuckles softly while wiping her nose, “she called it the slam room in her letter.”
The room erupts in easy laughter as she smiles at all of us.
“You can stay anywhere you want to, darlin’,” Prez says as he wraps Winter in his arms.
“Did you keep my sister’s belongings? Her lei is needed. It’s the light blue and pink one she wore at our parents’ funeral,” Akela asks, hope shining in her eyes.
Winter answers, “Yes, I know the one. I’ll get it for you,” and takes off down the hall and out of the clubhouse.
Akela stands. “I wish to say a prayer.”
Why didn’t we think to do this? Our faces read the same thing. We knew Lana was Hawaiian and her culture was significant to her. I think it was one of those things that attracted Pyro to her in the first place.
“It’s more of a Hawaiian goodbye,” she whispers in a quiet voice.
A few moments later, Winter returns with the bag that holds the lei. Akela takes it from her, opens it, and gently spreads the garland of dried flowers. After sliding the wreath of plumerias and orchids over her head, she picks up Lana’s urn and turns to Winter. “Please, don’t throw away that bag.”
I take a closer look at the bag and see dried flowers and greenery inside of it.
Storm walks over to Akela and laces their arms together. “I’ll take you to the roof of one of the buildings. You’ll have your privacy.”
Akela looks at her, smiles, and then thanks everyone for their kindness before they trail out of the building.
“Braxx, can you take me to our room so I can process all of this,” Winter says quietly.
Prez says nothing as he guides her towards the exit, and as they walk out, I follow. My lungs lust for fresh air. Sadness has suffocated the inside of that room.
***
Chapter Ten
Shadow
Berry and Mace return while I’m outside smoking and watching Akela as she prepares for Lana’s ceremony on top of the live-in building. They are walking towards me when Pyro comes out of the clubhouse and immediately hones in on Akela. As Berry gets closer, she looks to see what has caught Pyro’s attention. Her loud gasp echoes around the courtyard when she sees Lana’s look alike.
