Shadowing Me
Page 26
“Look at that. You got double the protection, now,” he teases as he takes a seat.
Wow! I love this Haden. It’s sad his mom had to pass away for him to become the person in front of me. My heart aches at the thought that maybe he is trying to mask his pain this way.
“Right! You’d think I was of royal blood or something.” I smile.
Haden takes it upon himself to order our old usual breakfast, and the memories that flood into my mind from our past make me want to cry. God, I really loved him, but when I caught him cheating on me, it demolished that feeling very quickly.
“So, what have you been up to? Did you not go to nursing school at all?”
Oh shit, I forgot he didn’t know. “Nope. I’m doing online business management courses because, let’s face it, I’d be failing all of my courses if I weren’t doing something online. We go on lockdown way too much, and dad would worry if I lived on a campus. Even though he still acts pissed when people talk about my sudden change of mind.”
He seems to understand my reasoning because he drops it. This is what I miss the most about the relationship we had. He always understood the lockdown process. He hated it, and he always voiced that he did, and ultimately, it is what ruined the bond we had. When a person is neglected, he or she will seek to find that connection with someone else. I don’t give a shit if I am young, and have exactly one relationship under my belt. I know that people crave closeness with another person. It is the main reason my dad gave in and fell in love with Storm. She strayed from their friendship because she was in love with him, and it hurting her to be friends. When she started to back away slowly, my dad freaked. He craved, desired, and needed that bond with her, whether he wanted it or not. His heart failed at closing off towards her. She won, hands down, and the saying, all’s fair in love and war is true. He battled long and hard before surrendering to her.
“It’s really good to be talking with you again,” he mumbles quietly as our food is placed on the table.
“It honestly is, isn’t it?” I respond and then tell the waitress thank you.
“I see Shadow’s feelings about me haven’t changed,” he teases as he forks at his pancakes.
I groan and twist my body to look. The scowl on his face forces a laugh to bubble from my throat. He has no reason to be looking at Haden like that. What happened between Haden and me is in the past. I quit dwelling on things months ago. Being friends with Piper is amazing because she teaches you how to enjoy life the best you can no matter what and she does it without even knowing she is doing it. She helps the family loosen up all the time.
“I’ve changed a lot over the past six months,” I say as I take a bite of my pancakes.
His blue eyes search mine to see if I am telling the truth. He was always good at reading me.
“I don’t think you’ve changed, babe. I think you’re growing up, learning yourself.”
See. He’s so perceptive when it comes to me, and my heart squeezes when he calls me babe. The little butthead still has an effect on me. Who knew?
“It’s good to talk with you, Haden. I hate that it had to happen under these circumstances though.”
He takes a drink of his orange juice, sets it down, and wipes his mouth before speaking again.
“I know. God, we were together a long time, weren’t we?”
“Since sixth grade. Wow, that’s like what,” I count in my head, “shit, six or so years. Seven school years we were together.”
I hadn’t realized it had been that long until now. Our relationship was there, and our friendship was the glue that probably held us together that long. In a way, he will always be my best friend. He may have broken my heart, but if I ever need him, deep down I have always known that he will be there for me. I guess it has taken a lot of maturing to realize that. I still have a lot more growing to do, but at least I can see everything for what it was now.
“Tatiana, believe me when I say, I’m truly sorry for messing it all up. I was selfish. I broke the trust you had in me and I’ll forever regret that.”
My hand slides across the table and laces with one of his. “I’d like us to be friends again, Haden. I really would. You’re the only one from my childhood that understands my life, and I miss having someone to talk to about it. I know that’s selfish of me, but in a way, I need someone on the outside that understands it all. Someone besides my family.”
His thumb rubs against the back of my hand, and that single movement reminds me of the comfort I have always felt with him.
“No, I get it. In a way, you’re the only one that really knows me too. We’re tragic.” He laughs lightheartedly.
“We are.” I chuckle.
We banter back and forth while we eat, and when it’s time to say goodbye, we promise to hang out more before he goes back to school. It feels good to have him back in my life. It’s almost like he’s a safety net for my feelings. He was always a good ear for when I needed an outlet. The end of our relationship was when everything went so darn sour between us.
I ignore the glares from Shadow when Smokey follows me to my car. The time spent with Haden was enough to make me forget all about him. Knowing this makes me sad, but relieved, at the same time. I had been building such a great friendship with Shadow and my feelings got in the way of that. It saddens me to realize that, with the right company, I can forget he exists, at least for a little while, but in all reality, I know it is necessary for me to move on.
Wow! I love this Haden. It’s sad his mom had to pass away for him to become the person in front of me. My heart aches at the thought that maybe he is trying to mask his pain this way.
“Right! You’d think I was of royal blood or something.” I smile.
Haden takes it upon himself to order our old usual breakfast, and the memories that flood into my mind from our past make me want to cry. God, I really loved him, but when I caught him cheating on me, it demolished that feeling very quickly.
“So, what have you been up to? Did you not go to nursing school at all?”
Oh shit, I forgot he didn’t know. “Nope. I’m doing online business management courses because, let’s face it, I’d be failing all of my courses if I weren’t doing something online. We go on lockdown way too much, and dad would worry if I lived on a campus. Even though he still acts pissed when people talk about my sudden change of mind.”
He seems to understand my reasoning because he drops it. This is what I miss the most about the relationship we had. He always understood the lockdown process. He hated it, and he always voiced that he did, and ultimately, it is what ruined the bond we had. When a person is neglected, he or she will seek to find that connection with someone else. I don’t give a shit if I am young, and have exactly one relationship under my belt. I know that people crave closeness with another person. It is the main reason my dad gave in and fell in love with Storm. She strayed from their friendship because she was in love with him, and it hurting her to be friends. When she started to back away slowly, my dad freaked. He craved, desired, and needed that bond with her, whether he wanted it or not. His heart failed at closing off towards her. She won, hands down, and the saying, all’s fair in love and war is true. He battled long and hard before surrendering to her.
“It’s really good to be talking with you again,” he mumbles quietly as our food is placed on the table.
“It honestly is, isn’t it?” I respond and then tell the waitress thank you.
“I see Shadow’s feelings about me haven’t changed,” he teases as he forks at his pancakes.
I groan and twist my body to look. The scowl on his face forces a laugh to bubble from my throat. He has no reason to be looking at Haden like that. What happened between Haden and me is in the past. I quit dwelling on things months ago. Being friends with Piper is amazing because she teaches you how to enjoy life the best you can no matter what and she does it without even knowing she is doing it. She helps the family loosen up all the time.
“I’ve changed a lot over the past six months,” I say as I take a bite of my pancakes.
His blue eyes search mine to see if I am telling the truth. He was always good at reading me.
“I don’t think you’ve changed, babe. I think you’re growing up, learning yourself.”
See. He’s so perceptive when it comes to me, and my heart squeezes when he calls me babe. The little butthead still has an effect on me. Who knew?
“It’s good to talk with you, Haden. I hate that it had to happen under these circumstances though.”
He takes a drink of his orange juice, sets it down, and wipes his mouth before speaking again.
“I know. God, we were together a long time, weren’t we?”
“Since sixth grade. Wow, that’s like what,” I count in my head, “shit, six or so years. Seven school years we were together.”
I hadn’t realized it had been that long until now. Our relationship was there, and our friendship was the glue that probably held us together that long. In a way, he will always be my best friend. He may have broken my heart, but if I ever need him, deep down I have always known that he will be there for me. I guess it has taken a lot of maturing to realize that. I still have a lot more growing to do, but at least I can see everything for what it was now.
“Tatiana, believe me when I say, I’m truly sorry for messing it all up. I was selfish. I broke the trust you had in me and I’ll forever regret that.”
My hand slides across the table and laces with one of his. “I’d like us to be friends again, Haden. I really would. You’re the only one from my childhood that understands my life, and I miss having someone to talk to about it. I know that’s selfish of me, but in a way, I need someone on the outside that understands it all. Someone besides my family.”
His thumb rubs against the back of my hand, and that single movement reminds me of the comfort I have always felt with him.
“No, I get it. In a way, you’re the only one that really knows me too. We’re tragic.” He laughs lightheartedly.
“We are.” I chuckle.
We banter back and forth while we eat, and when it’s time to say goodbye, we promise to hang out more before he goes back to school. It feels good to have him back in my life. It’s almost like he’s a safety net for my feelings. He was always a good ear for when I needed an outlet. The end of our relationship was when everything went so darn sour between us.
I ignore the glares from Shadow when Smokey follows me to my car. The time spent with Haden was enough to make me forget all about him. Knowing this makes me sad, but relieved, at the same time. I had been building such a great friendship with Shadow and my feelings got in the way of that. It saddens me to realize that, with the right company, I can forget he exists, at least for a little while, but in all reality, I know it is necessary for me to move on.
