Shadowing Me
Page 37
Sighing, I lean against the side of the stall. “I’m on partial lockdown again. I’m so fucking tired of men ruling my life, and for once, I want to make my own damn decision. I didn’t know that my one decision would deny me.”
Haden pulls me into the tightest hug I have ever been in, and holds me while tears spill down my cheeks. “You need a friend, babe, not a fuck,” he murmurs into my hair.
I lose it, because I miss this part of us the most. Even when Haden was a douche, he knew me, and his words prove he still does. “I also know you well enough to know that look of love on your face, and it isn’t directed at me, babe.” I cry harder against his chest. “You’re in love with that guy back there, aren’t you?”
At this point, I sob uncontrollably into his shirt while he comforts me. “Yes,” I choke out.
“Look, this is what I know about you when you love a person, Tatiana. You love so damn hard, and you don’t ever give up on that person. You only gave up on me because I screwed up bad. I cheated, but deep down, you know it ran deeper. You knew it was because I couldn’t handle your lifestyle. I’m so damn ashamed to admit it, but I was a pussy, and I needed to feel as loved as you did, at the time.”
“That man out there is just plain stupid if he doesn’t love you back. You deserve so much, and I sure know he looked pissed when I turned my head to look at him when you were dragging me off. That look was the look of straight up jealousy. If you listen to anything I say, listen to this. He lives the lifestyle you have grown up in. He understands it far better than anyone else could. So, if you’re thinking about asking me for advice, listen to everything I said.” He chuckles into my hair and pulls my face up to look at him. “And listen to this, too. Know that I think you’re foolish if you give up on him. Men are stupid. Yes, I’m admitting that for all of us. We do stupid stuff. We don’t admit our feelings until it is too late or close to being too late.” He murmurs, his hands squeezing my cheeks with each point he tries to stress.
“So dry off that beautiful fucking face that I fell madly in love with when we were kids, finger brush that hair like you girls do, and get out there and show him what he’s missing.” He laughs before ruffling my hair. “Hell, on second thought, clean up your face. Let him think that I fucked you in this bathroom. It might stir up some good for your situation.”
As I back up, I look at his shirt and see snot all over it. How embarrassing. “I’m so sorry about that.” I point as I wipe my nose with the back of my hand. This is gross. Last year, I would have cried myself to sleep if Haden saw me like this. How the tables have turned.
“I have another one underneath it. You should know this.” He smirks as he lifts his tee to reveal a plain white one.
“You Hanes lover.” I laugh as I back out of the stall, walk to the sink, and turn it on to let the water heat so that I can wash my face. Warm water always feels good on my swollen eyes when I cry. “I swear, you better stay in contact when you go back to school.” I say as I wet a paper towel to clean my face, and he tucks his other shirt in his back pocket.
“You wanna fuck with him some more?”
Of course I do. He eyed Sabine like he wanted to do with her what he did with me, and that breaks my damn heart.
“Yep.”
“Good, I’ll rumple this tee up as you wash your face.”
I smile in the mirror as I wipe my ruined mascara away. “I love you, Haden. I do.”
Haden stops pulling his tee in all directions, “I love you, too, babe. Always will.”
When I’m satisfied with my appearance, he decides the appropriate amount of time has passed. We walk towards the door, but before I move the trashcan, I freak out.
“Fuck, this is gonna sound crazy, but you need to bite me hard on the neck, if this is going to work!”
Haden makes a what the fuck face and mouths the words at the same time.
“Fuck, I’ve been introducing myself to the world of masochism, and he knows this. I like pain, no, I love pain, when I’m being fucked. You need to bite me!”
Haden grabs my cheeks hard. “Are you telling me you’ve turned into a kinky little witch, and I passed on that shit,” he says with a serious face. I almost feel bad for the guy. “Motherfucking hell, I have a feeling that I’ll regret telling you no later on in my life. In fact, my cock is already starting to scream at me. How do I know if I bite too hard or not hard enough?”
Hmm… he took that news easily. “Until I say so. Bite so that you leave a lasting mark and almost draw blood. You can draw blood if you want, but we’re in a hurry here.”
He shakes his head like he can’t believe he is about to do this, tilts my head to the side like a vampire readying his victim, and sinks his teeth into my neck. I let out a loud moan, and he groans, pushing me against the trashcan, and we almost tumble to the floor. His mouth never leaves my neck, and he bites me so hard, my pussy clenches. This moment lets me know I will always like pain. When my ex bites me on the neck and makes my legs tremble and moans escape me, I need no further proof. Shadow isn’t the cause of these new feelings that have come over me. It is the pain itself.
Minutes go by before I push him away, panting from him getting me so worked up.
“That was so fucking badass!”
I smirk at him as I gain control over myself. “It’s hot, right,” I breathe as I move the trashcan out of the way. “You should experience it during sex. It is unfuckingbelievable.”
Haden pulls me into the tightest hug I have ever been in, and holds me while tears spill down my cheeks. “You need a friend, babe, not a fuck,” he murmurs into my hair.
I lose it, because I miss this part of us the most. Even when Haden was a douche, he knew me, and his words prove he still does. “I also know you well enough to know that look of love on your face, and it isn’t directed at me, babe.” I cry harder against his chest. “You’re in love with that guy back there, aren’t you?”
At this point, I sob uncontrollably into his shirt while he comforts me. “Yes,” I choke out.
“Look, this is what I know about you when you love a person, Tatiana. You love so damn hard, and you don’t ever give up on that person. You only gave up on me because I screwed up bad. I cheated, but deep down, you know it ran deeper. You knew it was because I couldn’t handle your lifestyle. I’m so damn ashamed to admit it, but I was a pussy, and I needed to feel as loved as you did, at the time.”
“That man out there is just plain stupid if he doesn’t love you back. You deserve so much, and I sure know he looked pissed when I turned my head to look at him when you were dragging me off. That look was the look of straight up jealousy. If you listen to anything I say, listen to this. He lives the lifestyle you have grown up in. He understands it far better than anyone else could. So, if you’re thinking about asking me for advice, listen to everything I said.” He chuckles into my hair and pulls my face up to look at him. “And listen to this, too. Know that I think you’re foolish if you give up on him. Men are stupid. Yes, I’m admitting that for all of us. We do stupid stuff. We don’t admit our feelings until it is too late or close to being too late.” He murmurs, his hands squeezing my cheeks with each point he tries to stress.
“So dry off that beautiful fucking face that I fell madly in love with when we were kids, finger brush that hair like you girls do, and get out there and show him what he’s missing.” He laughs before ruffling my hair. “Hell, on second thought, clean up your face. Let him think that I fucked you in this bathroom. It might stir up some good for your situation.”
As I back up, I look at his shirt and see snot all over it. How embarrassing. “I’m so sorry about that.” I point as I wipe my nose with the back of my hand. This is gross. Last year, I would have cried myself to sleep if Haden saw me like this. How the tables have turned.
“I have another one underneath it. You should know this.” He smirks as he lifts his tee to reveal a plain white one.
“You Hanes lover.” I laugh as I back out of the stall, walk to the sink, and turn it on to let the water heat so that I can wash my face. Warm water always feels good on my swollen eyes when I cry. “I swear, you better stay in contact when you go back to school.” I say as I wet a paper towel to clean my face, and he tucks his other shirt in his back pocket.
“You wanna fuck with him some more?”
Of course I do. He eyed Sabine like he wanted to do with her what he did with me, and that breaks my damn heart.
“Yep.”
“Good, I’ll rumple this tee up as you wash your face.”
I smile in the mirror as I wipe my ruined mascara away. “I love you, Haden. I do.”
Haden stops pulling his tee in all directions, “I love you, too, babe. Always will.”
When I’m satisfied with my appearance, he decides the appropriate amount of time has passed. We walk towards the door, but before I move the trashcan, I freak out.
“Fuck, this is gonna sound crazy, but you need to bite me hard on the neck, if this is going to work!”
Haden makes a what the fuck face and mouths the words at the same time.
“Fuck, I’ve been introducing myself to the world of masochism, and he knows this. I like pain, no, I love pain, when I’m being fucked. You need to bite me!”
Haden grabs my cheeks hard. “Are you telling me you’ve turned into a kinky little witch, and I passed on that shit,” he says with a serious face. I almost feel bad for the guy. “Motherfucking hell, I have a feeling that I’ll regret telling you no later on in my life. In fact, my cock is already starting to scream at me. How do I know if I bite too hard or not hard enough?”
Hmm… he took that news easily. “Until I say so. Bite so that you leave a lasting mark and almost draw blood. You can draw blood if you want, but we’re in a hurry here.”
He shakes his head like he can’t believe he is about to do this, tilts my head to the side like a vampire readying his victim, and sinks his teeth into my neck. I let out a loud moan, and he groans, pushing me against the trashcan, and we almost tumble to the floor. His mouth never leaves my neck, and he bites me so hard, my pussy clenches. This moment lets me know I will always like pain. When my ex bites me on the neck and makes my legs tremble and moans escape me, I need no further proof. Shadow isn’t the cause of these new feelings that have come over me. It is the pain itself.
Minutes go by before I push him away, panting from him getting me so worked up.
“That was so fucking badass!”
I smirk at him as I gain control over myself. “It’s hot, right,” I breathe as I move the trashcan out of the way. “You should experience it during sex. It is unfuckingbelievable.”
