Shadows of Yesterday
Page 42
“Were you angry with her? I mean afterward, when it was all over, were you angry that she had robbed you of your child?”
His eyes drilled into hers. “How did you know? I was mad as hell. I knew I was supposed to grieve, but I was so angry, I couldn’t.”
Now she did touch him, reaching up to smooth his brows. “I felt the same way when Greg was killed. I kept asking how he could do that to me.”
“I guess those are human reactions. Nothing to be proud of, but extremely human.”
“I just underwent another such reaction. When you told me that Sharon had been carrying your child, I knew envy for the first time in my life.”
He hugged her to him. “My Leigh. Sharon getting pregnant was an accident of nature. When you and I make babies, it will be a celebration of life and the love we have for each other.”
She reclined against him, thankful that Sarah had been worn out by her grandparents’ attention and was sleeping in her crib. “Chad, hold me. Love me.”
“You may count on both,” he whispered into her hair.
Chapter Ten
Christmas Day was boisterous and happy. Chad picked up Leigh and Sarah and drove them to the Dillons’ ranch in Leigh’s car to accommodate the presents heaped in the back seat. The Jacksons, given directions earlier, were to meet them there. Amelia Dillon had gone all-out in preparation for the day. The antique sideboard in the dining room was laden with date-nut bread, biscuits stuffed with tiny sausages and cheese, myriad cookies, and other delectables to tide the guests over until the turkey feast was ready. The desserts were lined up across the back of the sideboard. Unable to resist, and before either Leigh or his mother could stop him, Chad had helped himself to a piece of a tall coconut layer cake.
Upon their arrival, the Jacksons complimented Leigh and Chad on the tree they had decorated. Lois was less impressed with the ranch house than she had been with Chad’s, but she treated the Dillons with polite deference. She refused to acknowledge that Mr. Dillon walked with a pronounced limp on his left leg.
Leigh found him sitting alone in the living room, rubbing his thigh just above the knee. “Stewart, you shouldn’t wear your prosthesis if it’s uncomfortable.” He and Amelia had both insisted that she call them by their first names.
“You’re a dear lady, Leigh,” he said, lifting his eyes to hers as she leaned over him. “Don’t worry about this,” he said, indicating his leg. “I’m almost used to it by now.”
She sat down beside him. “How long has it been?”
“ ’Bout five years. I was close to retiring anyway, but I sure hated to be forced into it.”
She looked toward the kitchen where laughter told her everyone else was enjoying Sarah’s antics. “Why do you and Chad do the work you do?” She had never been able to talk with Chad about wild-well control, yet she wanted to know about it. It was like being in a scary movie and not wanting to watch but being unable to keep from it.
“It’s like nothing else, Leigh,” Stewart Dillon said, excitement in his voice. “It’s a challenge few men ever get the opportunity to meet. How many accountants are there? Or teachers? Or doctors or lawyers or engineers? And how many of us? We’re rare. I guess that kind of uniqueness gives a man a sense of pride. Maybe that’s part of the reason I loved it and why Chad does now.”
“Weren’t you ever afraid of the danger?”
He was still for a moment. Leigh could almost see the procession of oil-well fires he had fought parading behind his eyes as he examined how he had faced each one. “No. I can’t say I was ever afraid. Don’t take me wrong. I was always careful. We’re trained to be careful, never doing anything that isn’t planned, synchronized, with every other man on the team. But there’s something about facing that fire,” he said with intensity. Leigh saw his fists clench in a gesture reminding her of Chad. His voice was a hoarse whisper.
“It’s bigger than you. Mean, destructive, costly. It’s fierce, a modern-day dragon. And you defeat it. Snuff it out.” He sighed heavily, but it was a sigh of elation, and his eyes glowed with excited reminiscence. Leigh knew the instant he realized he was in his own safe living room. Sadness filled his eyes as he turned to look at her.
“I’ll always miss it,” he said wistfully.
“Hey, you two, you’re not in on the fun. Sarah’s—” Chad broke off and Leigh became aware of the tears glistening in her eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, nothing,” Stewart said, slapping his hands against his thighs as he stood up with an ease that startled Leigh. “Come on, Leigh. I thought you said you wanted another piece of that pumpkin bread.”
He extended his hand to help her off the sofa, then escorted her to Chad, who was staring at her from the archway leading into the hall. “Cut her a thick slice, Dad, and add some whipped cream. I don’t want a skinny bride.” Stewart chuckled as he went toward the kitchen. “Leigh?” Chad said gently. A worried frown wrinkled the lines across his forehead. “What’s the matter? Have you been crying? Is something wrong?”
She looked up into the eyes she loved, into the face that bespoke great strength of character. “No, nothing. It’s just that I love you so much.” She wrapped her arms around him and pressed her cheek against his heart. How could she ever be fully resigned to sending him off to such a hell? A fire. Fierce. A modern-day dragon. Where would she get the courage?
On the other hand, if she loved him, how could she ask him not to go? If he welcomed the challenge of the job as much as Stewart had, could she deny it to him? It was his work, as important and vital to him as Greg’s had been to him. Somewhere she’d find the courage to let him do the job he loved.
“Loving me is something to cry about?” he teased fondly.
She sniffed and blinked back tears. “I’m crying because I’m standing under the mistletoe with my fiancé and he hasn’t kissed me yet.”
“The cad,” he said before he took her mouth with a bone-melting kiss.
After a dinner that would have satisfied the most gluttonous horde of vandals, the fathers retired to the living room to watch a football game. Lois and Amelia stayed in the kitchen to exchange recipes and plan grandchildren. Leigh and Chad went upstairs, ostensibly to put Sarah down for her nap.
His eyes drilled into hers. “How did you know? I was mad as hell. I knew I was supposed to grieve, but I was so angry, I couldn’t.”
Now she did touch him, reaching up to smooth his brows. “I felt the same way when Greg was killed. I kept asking how he could do that to me.”
“I guess those are human reactions. Nothing to be proud of, but extremely human.”
“I just underwent another such reaction. When you told me that Sharon had been carrying your child, I knew envy for the first time in my life.”
He hugged her to him. “My Leigh. Sharon getting pregnant was an accident of nature. When you and I make babies, it will be a celebration of life and the love we have for each other.”
She reclined against him, thankful that Sarah had been worn out by her grandparents’ attention and was sleeping in her crib. “Chad, hold me. Love me.”
“You may count on both,” he whispered into her hair.
Chapter Ten
Christmas Day was boisterous and happy. Chad picked up Leigh and Sarah and drove them to the Dillons’ ranch in Leigh’s car to accommodate the presents heaped in the back seat. The Jacksons, given directions earlier, were to meet them there. Amelia Dillon had gone all-out in preparation for the day. The antique sideboard in the dining room was laden with date-nut bread, biscuits stuffed with tiny sausages and cheese, myriad cookies, and other delectables to tide the guests over until the turkey feast was ready. The desserts were lined up across the back of the sideboard. Unable to resist, and before either Leigh or his mother could stop him, Chad had helped himself to a piece of a tall coconut layer cake.
Upon their arrival, the Jacksons complimented Leigh and Chad on the tree they had decorated. Lois was less impressed with the ranch house than she had been with Chad’s, but she treated the Dillons with polite deference. She refused to acknowledge that Mr. Dillon walked with a pronounced limp on his left leg.
Leigh found him sitting alone in the living room, rubbing his thigh just above the knee. “Stewart, you shouldn’t wear your prosthesis if it’s uncomfortable.” He and Amelia had both insisted that she call them by their first names.
“You’re a dear lady, Leigh,” he said, lifting his eyes to hers as she leaned over him. “Don’t worry about this,” he said, indicating his leg. “I’m almost used to it by now.”
She sat down beside him. “How long has it been?”
“ ’Bout five years. I was close to retiring anyway, but I sure hated to be forced into it.”
She looked toward the kitchen where laughter told her everyone else was enjoying Sarah’s antics. “Why do you and Chad do the work you do?” She had never been able to talk with Chad about wild-well control, yet she wanted to know about it. It was like being in a scary movie and not wanting to watch but being unable to keep from it.
“It’s like nothing else, Leigh,” Stewart Dillon said, excitement in his voice. “It’s a challenge few men ever get the opportunity to meet. How many accountants are there? Or teachers? Or doctors or lawyers or engineers? And how many of us? We’re rare. I guess that kind of uniqueness gives a man a sense of pride. Maybe that’s part of the reason I loved it and why Chad does now.”
“Weren’t you ever afraid of the danger?”
He was still for a moment. Leigh could almost see the procession of oil-well fires he had fought parading behind his eyes as he examined how he had faced each one. “No. I can’t say I was ever afraid. Don’t take me wrong. I was always careful. We’re trained to be careful, never doing anything that isn’t planned, synchronized, with every other man on the team. But there’s something about facing that fire,” he said with intensity. Leigh saw his fists clench in a gesture reminding her of Chad. His voice was a hoarse whisper.
“It’s bigger than you. Mean, destructive, costly. It’s fierce, a modern-day dragon. And you defeat it. Snuff it out.” He sighed heavily, but it was a sigh of elation, and his eyes glowed with excited reminiscence. Leigh knew the instant he realized he was in his own safe living room. Sadness filled his eyes as he turned to look at her.
“I’ll always miss it,” he said wistfully.
“Hey, you two, you’re not in on the fun. Sarah’s—” Chad broke off and Leigh became aware of the tears glistening in her eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, nothing,” Stewart said, slapping his hands against his thighs as he stood up with an ease that startled Leigh. “Come on, Leigh. I thought you said you wanted another piece of that pumpkin bread.”
He extended his hand to help her off the sofa, then escorted her to Chad, who was staring at her from the archway leading into the hall. “Cut her a thick slice, Dad, and add some whipped cream. I don’t want a skinny bride.” Stewart chuckled as he went toward the kitchen. “Leigh?” Chad said gently. A worried frown wrinkled the lines across his forehead. “What’s the matter? Have you been crying? Is something wrong?”
She looked up into the eyes she loved, into the face that bespoke great strength of character. “No, nothing. It’s just that I love you so much.” She wrapped her arms around him and pressed her cheek against his heart. How could she ever be fully resigned to sending him off to such a hell? A fire. Fierce. A modern-day dragon. Where would she get the courage?
On the other hand, if she loved him, how could she ask him not to go? If he welcomed the challenge of the job as much as Stewart had, could she deny it to him? It was his work, as important and vital to him as Greg’s had been to him. Somewhere she’d find the courage to let him do the job he loved.
“Loving me is something to cry about?” he teased fondly.
She sniffed and blinked back tears. “I’m crying because I’m standing under the mistletoe with my fiancé and he hasn’t kissed me yet.”
“The cad,” he said before he took her mouth with a bone-melting kiss.
After a dinner that would have satisfied the most gluttonous horde of vandals, the fathers retired to the living room to watch a football game. Lois and Amelia stayed in the kitchen to exchange recipes and plan grandchildren. Leigh and Chad went upstairs, ostensibly to put Sarah down for her nap.
