Still Jaded
Page 37
My respect went up a notch for this doctor. "I think I might go to my room for the night."
She gestured to the wine glass. "Take it to go. One glass won't hurt you."
I'd rather have taken the bottle, but I smiled politely. "Thanks and thanks for the help with my bandages and all."
"No problem. Have a good night, Sheldon." She smiled warmly and then started looking through the cupboards. As I walked down the hallway, I heard the clang of pots and pans. Music was turned on next and she started to sing along. Her voice faded as I moved further towards my room.
When I entered my room, I didn't turn the lights on. It had grown dark some time ago. There was something peaceful about sitting in the dark and looking out the windows. The stars were bright. The moon was even more so and lit the trees up around the house. As hard as I tried, I couldn't remember the last time I saw the stars.
There was something lonely about that thought.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
As I settled into a chair next to one of the windows, I grabbed a blanket for my lap. Then I took a deep breath and looked at my phone. I scrolled through the messages until I found Bryce's. The text stared back at me; it haunted me. So I took a deep breath, called him, and waited as it rang.
"Sheldon?" He sounded out of breath.
"Where are you?"
"I'm…," he hesitated. "I'm out right now. You're in New York?"
"My mom's gone. She needed someone to watch the apartment, and I wanted to get away."
"You're running away." He sounded as disappointed as Corrigan had been.
"Are you with her right now?" Corrigan might've said the affair was faked, but my gut said otherwise. I went with my gut.
"Oh come on. I'm in love with you and you know it. Whatever is on the television is because Mathias is pushing that with a publicist. They want to rev up this entire media about me. They think it'll sell more tickets, and the Suns will give me more money because of it. They just want more money themselves. That's the bottom line. There's nothing going on with me and her."
He never answered the question. My gut sank. "Were you with her before I left Spain?"
There was a long pause on his end. And then, after what felt like an hour, he answered, "I have never cheated on you, not after I told you that I loved you in high school."
"When were you with her?"
"Sheldon—"
"Tell me!" I shouted as my chest heaved. Then I clamped onto the sides of my chair and forced myself to stay seated. If I started pacing now, I didn't know what I'd do. I bunched my hands into the blanket and willed myself to think clearly. I can't get worked up. I cannot. I can't trash Denton's place. I could scare a moose.
"What do you want me to say, Sheldon? In high school, you got pissed if I didn't sleep with other girls. Then fast forward a bit and you can't handle it if I even look at one?"
I took another one of those deep calming breaths. It didn't work. "Are you kidding me?! You use that as a justification? I am fully aware that I'm not the mentally healthiest person around, but I'm not an idiot. I've been to counseling. You screwed another girl and you're blaming me for it?"
"Sheldon…"
"Do you still have balls? Or did she take them?"
"Sheldon!" He growled into the phone.
Chair be damned! I shot to my feet and started to pace. He had the nerve—the bastard had the nerve to flip it on me. I was the reason why he screwed that hussy. I was the reason why she was still around. Me! I could've done him harm if he was in the same room. As I continued to pace, I felt my heartbeat skyrocket. This always happened. I'd get upset, start moving around, and before I knew what I was doing, I'd have half the room trashed—or I would've screwed my neighbor. Denton always had impeccable timing for situations like this.
"Sheldon, can we talk about this when you get back?"
"Now you talk to me like a reasonable person? Are you kidding me? Go and screw that bitch for me. Do me a favor and give her a tip afterwards. She earned it." I threw my phone across the room and screamed. How dare he?!
"Sheldon?" The doctor poked her head around the door. She looked apologetic. "I heard you yelling. Are you okay?"
"No! No. No, I am not. He has the nerve to blame me! Blame me! He's just like all the rest of them."
Sondra entered the room but leaned against the wall beside the door. Her hands were folded behind her back, and her gaze never wavered from me. "This would be the Bryce fellow that Denton mentioned? He plays soccer?"
"Yeah, he does." I expelled a deep breath and felt my soul go with it. I couldn't believe him. "Do you have that wine? I need to drink. I need to drink a lot."
She beamed and brought the bottle from behind her. "I thought you'd need some of this." Two glasses were in her other hand, and she filled both up, then handed one to me. As she placed the bottle on a small table, she folded into one of the chairs by the window. I gulped that glass down like it was water after a day in the desert. Without thinking, I handed it back and she refilled it. As I took it, I kept pacing. I couldn't do anything else.
She waved a hand in the air. "I am aware that I should be the responsible doctor and advise you against drinking when you're on medication. I'm good at my job, but I've heard your history from Denton. I'm sure your body can handle it. Bodies have a way of dealing with things. It's like magic sometimes. That's what I love about human anatomy."
I downed my glass and then filled it again. I didn't give a damn about human anatomy. "I can't believe him. Is this the same guy from high school I fell in love with?"
She frowned now. "Maybe you shouldn't drink…"
My heart was pounding, but I was so mad. I had flipped out on the phone. Corrigan said it had all been fake, but when I pushed Bryce about it, he acted guilty. He was with her. I know a lie by omission when I hear it. He was with her, which was why he started with the media set-up right away, but the cheating. Had he cheated? I was so confused.
The doctor stood back up and crossed the room to me. She didn't touch me; I couldn't have handled it if she had. She was taller than me by a few inches so she bent down as I stopped pacing. Then she gave me a reassuring smile. "I don't know much about your life, or about this soccer player, but I can see that you love him. I'm really sorry if he's done something to hurt you, but I also know there must be a reason you care about him so much." She chuckled, and it sounded self-deprecating. "You got a guy like Denton, superstar stud Denton Steele, interested in you, and you're still interested in this soccer player. Most girls would drop anyone and anything to be with someone like Denton, and I don't mean that because of his money. He's a good man, but that only tells me that you must really love this guy. And if that's the case, keep talking to him, keep listening to him, keep trying to work it out. I only know of two other people that Denton has brought here. That says something about you." Then she nodded again, smiled, and left.
She gestured to the wine glass. "Take it to go. One glass won't hurt you."
I'd rather have taken the bottle, but I smiled politely. "Thanks and thanks for the help with my bandages and all."
"No problem. Have a good night, Sheldon." She smiled warmly and then started looking through the cupboards. As I walked down the hallway, I heard the clang of pots and pans. Music was turned on next and she started to sing along. Her voice faded as I moved further towards my room.
When I entered my room, I didn't turn the lights on. It had grown dark some time ago. There was something peaceful about sitting in the dark and looking out the windows. The stars were bright. The moon was even more so and lit the trees up around the house. As hard as I tried, I couldn't remember the last time I saw the stars.
There was something lonely about that thought.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
As I settled into a chair next to one of the windows, I grabbed a blanket for my lap. Then I took a deep breath and looked at my phone. I scrolled through the messages until I found Bryce's. The text stared back at me; it haunted me. So I took a deep breath, called him, and waited as it rang.
"Sheldon?" He sounded out of breath.
"Where are you?"
"I'm…," he hesitated. "I'm out right now. You're in New York?"
"My mom's gone. She needed someone to watch the apartment, and I wanted to get away."
"You're running away." He sounded as disappointed as Corrigan had been.
"Are you with her right now?" Corrigan might've said the affair was faked, but my gut said otherwise. I went with my gut.
"Oh come on. I'm in love with you and you know it. Whatever is on the television is because Mathias is pushing that with a publicist. They want to rev up this entire media about me. They think it'll sell more tickets, and the Suns will give me more money because of it. They just want more money themselves. That's the bottom line. There's nothing going on with me and her."
He never answered the question. My gut sank. "Were you with her before I left Spain?"
There was a long pause on his end. And then, after what felt like an hour, he answered, "I have never cheated on you, not after I told you that I loved you in high school."
"When were you with her?"
"Sheldon—"
"Tell me!" I shouted as my chest heaved. Then I clamped onto the sides of my chair and forced myself to stay seated. If I started pacing now, I didn't know what I'd do. I bunched my hands into the blanket and willed myself to think clearly. I can't get worked up. I cannot. I can't trash Denton's place. I could scare a moose.
"What do you want me to say, Sheldon? In high school, you got pissed if I didn't sleep with other girls. Then fast forward a bit and you can't handle it if I even look at one?"
I took another one of those deep calming breaths. It didn't work. "Are you kidding me?! You use that as a justification? I am fully aware that I'm not the mentally healthiest person around, but I'm not an idiot. I've been to counseling. You screwed another girl and you're blaming me for it?"
"Sheldon…"
"Do you still have balls? Or did she take them?"
"Sheldon!" He growled into the phone.
Chair be damned! I shot to my feet and started to pace. He had the nerve—the bastard had the nerve to flip it on me. I was the reason why he screwed that hussy. I was the reason why she was still around. Me! I could've done him harm if he was in the same room. As I continued to pace, I felt my heartbeat skyrocket. This always happened. I'd get upset, start moving around, and before I knew what I was doing, I'd have half the room trashed—or I would've screwed my neighbor. Denton always had impeccable timing for situations like this.
"Sheldon, can we talk about this when you get back?"
"Now you talk to me like a reasonable person? Are you kidding me? Go and screw that bitch for me. Do me a favor and give her a tip afterwards. She earned it." I threw my phone across the room and screamed. How dare he?!
"Sheldon?" The doctor poked her head around the door. She looked apologetic. "I heard you yelling. Are you okay?"
"No! No. No, I am not. He has the nerve to blame me! Blame me! He's just like all the rest of them."
Sondra entered the room but leaned against the wall beside the door. Her hands were folded behind her back, and her gaze never wavered from me. "This would be the Bryce fellow that Denton mentioned? He plays soccer?"
"Yeah, he does." I expelled a deep breath and felt my soul go with it. I couldn't believe him. "Do you have that wine? I need to drink. I need to drink a lot."
She beamed and brought the bottle from behind her. "I thought you'd need some of this." Two glasses were in her other hand, and she filled both up, then handed one to me. As she placed the bottle on a small table, she folded into one of the chairs by the window. I gulped that glass down like it was water after a day in the desert. Without thinking, I handed it back and she refilled it. As I took it, I kept pacing. I couldn't do anything else.
She waved a hand in the air. "I am aware that I should be the responsible doctor and advise you against drinking when you're on medication. I'm good at my job, but I've heard your history from Denton. I'm sure your body can handle it. Bodies have a way of dealing with things. It's like magic sometimes. That's what I love about human anatomy."
I downed my glass and then filled it again. I didn't give a damn about human anatomy. "I can't believe him. Is this the same guy from high school I fell in love with?"
She frowned now. "Maybe you shouldn't drink…"
My heart was pounding, but I was so mad. I had flipped out on the phone. Corrigan said it had all been fake, but when I pushed Bryce about it, he acted guilty. He was with her. I know a lie by omission when I hear it. He was with her, which was why he started with the media set-up right away, but the cheating. Had he cheated? I was so confused.
The doctor stood back up and crossed the room to me. She didn't touch me; I couldn't have handled it if she had. She was taller than me by a few inches so she bent down as I stopped pacing. Then she gave me a reassuring smile. "I don't know much about your life, or about this soccer player, but I can see that you love him. I'm really sorry if he's done something to hurt you, but I also know there must be a reason you care about him so much." She chuckled, and it sounded self-deprecating. "You got a guy like Denton, superstar stud Denton Steele, interested in you, and you're still interested in this soccer player. Most girls would drop anyone and anything to be with someone like Denton, and I don't mean that because of his money. He's a good man, but that only tells me that you must really love this guy. And if that's the case, keep talking to him, keep listening to him, keep trying to work it out. I only know of two other people that Denton has brought here. That says something about you." Then she nodded again, smiled, and left.
