Summer Days
Page 30
“About last night,” he said, lowering his voice.
She shook her head. “I’m a big girl, Rafe. I wanted to. There was no seduction involved. You have nothing to feel bad about.”
“I don’t feel bad. But I do want to be sure that you’re okay.”
“I’m fine. Why don’t we talk about how you’re feeling?”
“I’m a guy. Articulating my feelings isn’t in my genetic makeup.”
“Rafe? There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.”
Rafe turned and saw a tall, slender, well-dressed blonde walking toward him. If there’d been a wall nearby, he would’ve banged his head against it.
“Hello, Nina,” he said instead.
His matchmaker put her hands on her hips. “You’ve been avoiding me.”
“I didn’t have anything more to say.”
“But I did.” Nina smiled at Heidi. “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Nina Blanchard, Rafe’s matchmaker.”
“Heidi Simpson,” Heidi told her. “It’s so nice to meet you. I don’t think I knew you were coming to Fool’s Gold.”
“I didn’t know, either,” Rafe said, not sure why Nina had shown up, but knowing the reason wasn’t going to be a good one for him.
“It was an impulsive decision,” Nina admitted. She smiled at Heidi. “Rafe is being very difficult.”
“I’m not even surprised,” Heidi told her. “Rafe is a really stubborn guy. If you want him to pay attention, you’re going to have to take charge.”
“Hey!” Rafe stepped between them. “Maybe we should all stop talking about me.”
Heidi shrugged. “I thought you liked being the center of attention.”
“You thought wrong.” He took Nina by the arm. “Let’s go get coffee.” He glanced at Heidi. “I’ll deal with you later.”
She looked unrepentant and a little smug as she smiled. “If you think you’re up to it.”
He took Nina to the Starbucks on the corner, bought her a nonfat latte, then they sat outside at a shaded table.
“What the hell are you doing here?” he asked, when she’d added her artificial sweetener and stirred her drink.
“I told you. You’ve been avoiding me.”
“I said I was done with your services. I’ll pay you whatever is owed, but I don’t want you getting me any more dates.”
“Because of Heidi?”
“What? No. Because of a lot of things.”
Nina didn’t look convinced.
Back in her office, he’d thought she was in her early forties. But out in the bright sunlight, he could see more lines around her eyes and pegged her at a few years older. Not that her age made any difference. She was still a pain in his ass.
“I said I’d find you a wife, and I will.”
“I don’t want to find a wife right now.”
“Because of Heidi.”
He sighed. “Didn’t I already say no to that?”
“I don’t believe you. I saw how you were looking at her.” She leaned close. “Have you two had sex?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“Which means yes. Oh, Rafe, I meet a lot of interesting people in my business. You’re not the kind of man who needs a matchmaker, but you wanted one.”
“I made a mistake once. I don’t want to make another mistake.”
“By finding the perfect wife.”
“I’m not interested in love.” Mostly because he didn’t believe in it.
What he’d had with his first wife had faded away. Shane and his first wife had been crazy in love, and she’d cheated on him every chance she got. If love existed, it did so in a world of pain and betrayal. Better to find someone he could be friends with. Someone who wanted what he wanted and shared his goals and values. Maybe that wasn’t romantic, but it made sense to him.
“You’re afraid,” Nina told him firmly. “You’re afraid of falling in love for real this time, because you don’t know what it will do to you.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he told her. “You don’t know that much about me.”
“I know enough. I know you were the one who took care of your family when your dad died, even though you were, what, eight or nine?”
His past had been written about in the press a few times. He supposed Nina was thorough and had done her research. “I’m not driven by something I saw as a kid,” he said firmly.
“Maybe not, but you’re influenced by it. You saw what happened to your mom, and you filed that information away. When it was your turn, you picked what you thought was the perfect wife. You went through the motions, dated, got married. I would guess you didn’t love her, though. You weren’t willing to risk those intense feelings.”
“Thanks for stopping by,” he said, turning away.
She stepped in front of him. “Let me guess. About the time you met your first wife, someone close to you also got involved. But his or her relationship was different. Intense, wild. What they had scared you, so you went in the other direction.”
He refused to speak, but he couldn’t stop himself from thinking about Shane. Nina was right. Shane had met Rachel about a year before he, Rafe, got married. They’d been passionate lovers from the first day. Shane had talked about being swept away by passion, how Rachel was everything to him. Rafe had tried to warn his brother to be careful, but Shane had refused to listen.
Rafe told himself Nina was guessing. She’d been in the business a long time and had picked up a few tricks. This was one of them. Maybe she had a point. Maybe he had been too cautious the first time around. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t make a reasonably well thought-out relationship work.
“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be sure,” he said at last.
She gave him a sad, knowing smile. “You’re wrong. Love isn’t about being sure. Love is about risking it all. The only way to be truly in love is to give with your whole heart. To put it out there and be vulnerable. To offer all you have without knowing if it will be enough. Love is standing na**d in front of the world and announcing, ‘This is who I am,’ then waiting to be accepted or not.”
“Then I’m not interested.”
“It’s worth it,” Nina told him. “I promise you that. If you find the right person, it’s amazing. Notice I’m not saying ‘the one.’ I don’t believe there’s just one person for each of us. There are many, and sometimes we can find that magic a second or third time. You never found it at all.”
“I don’t need that in my life.”
“Yes, you do. At least once, Rafe. Risk your heart.”
He shook his head. “Are we done here?”
“No, but you can go. I’m now a woman on a mission. I want to see you happily married.”
He held in a groan. “This I don’t need right now.”
“That’s okay. I can wait.”
* * *
BY EARLY AFTERNOON, RAFE was ready to run screaming into the mountains around Fool’s Gold. He’d managed to escape from Nina, only to continue setting up for the carnival. The dart game he’d started to put together required him blowing up hundreds of balloons. The tall, skinny guy who had introduced himself as Ham had shown him three empty, massive cardboard boxes and said they had to be filled with balloons. Then he’d pointed to a box of balloons and an air compressor. He’d slapped Rafe on the back and disappeared. Rafe sensed he’d been had.
Still, he went to work, blowing up the balloons, tying them off, then dropping them into the boxes. Late morning turned into early afternoon. The sun rose higher in the sky, the day warmed and the sidewalks around him grew crowded.
By three, his fingers were cramping from the twisting motion. Give him a ten-foot fence line or a herd of “feral” cattle any day, he thought. At least that was work he enjoyed. And it was solitary. Because along with the bottomless box of balloons, he’d had a long string of visitors.
Harvey of the recently cured cancer had stopped by to talk about his good health and how Glen’s generosity had literally saved his life. When Rafe had pointed out that the money had come from his mother and Glen had lied to get it, Harvey had been unimpressed. He’d done ten minutes on the state of health care in this country, recounted two funny stories about Glen and had told him that everyone was watching him, before drifting away.
A pretty, middle-aged redhead appeared next in a flowy, long dress, and stopped in front of him. “You must be Rafe,” she said. “I’m Madam Zoltan, but you can call me Rita.” Her green eyes swept over him. “Nice. Very nice.”
He didn’t know what she meant, and he decided it was better not to ask.
“Good to meet you,” he said, continuing his balloon work.
“So you’re with Heidi.”
Rafe’s grip on the balloon he was filling with air loosened, and the bit of rubber went flying through the air. It zigged and zagged around them before fluttering to the sidewalk. A little boy ran over and picked it up, then darted away.
“I need a drink,” Rafe muttered, and he wasn’t talking about the bottle of water Harvey had brought him.
Rita smiled. “She’s a wonderful young woman, but then you already know that. May I?”
She reached for his hand. He let her take it, then she bent over his palm. Her fingers were long and cool. They lightly touched his skin, tracing lines before rubbing the base of his thumb.
“I’m going to meet a dark stranger who will change my life forever?” he asked.
“No, nothing that simple. You’re a complicated man.” She tapped a line. “Very loving, although you try to hide that part of your character. You take care of the people around you.”
This was the second time in one day a woman he barely knew was talking about him as if they had exclusive emails delivered from heaven. He pulled back his hand.
“It was nice to meet you,” he said firmly, picking up the next balloon.
“You’re dismissing me.” She seemed more amused than angry. “All right. I’ll take the hint. But first, to get your heart’s desire, you’re going to have to be willing to take a leap of faith. To be vulnerable.”
Involuntarily, he remembered what Nina had told him that morning. About being na**d in front of the world. Had the women around here had a meeting and decided today was the day they were going to torture him?
“It’s worth it,” she assured him.
“Good to know.”
She smiled and left.
He stared after her for a couple of seconds, then reached for the next balloon. About an hour later, he’d nearly finished when Charlie walked up to him. She was wearing a Fool’s Gold firefighter uniform, so it took him a second to place her.
“Charlie.”
“That’s me. I came to—”
He held up both hands and took a step back. “I’m not talking about my past, who I date or Heidi. You can’t read my palm, ask about my mother or discuss any aspect of my life, now or in the future.”
Charlie raised her eyebrows. “Are you okay?”
“No. Go away.”
Her mouth twitched, as if she were holding in a grin. “If you insist, but at some point I have to check the booth. Fire regulations.”
“Not now. Get out. Stop talking about me. Pretend we never met.”
Charlie chuckled. “Now I can honestly say I have no idea what Heidi sees in you.”
“You were leaving.”
She was still laughing when she strolled away.
* * *
THE GROUP OF SIX WAS EVENLY split between archaeologists and reporters. Heidi touched the back pocket of her jeans, where she’d shoved the notes Annabelle had given her, and hoped she remembered all the important points. Speaking in public, even to a small group like this, wasn’t her idea of a good time. Of course, she only had herself to blame for the situation, something she needed to remember.
She’d come in before the tour and left lanterns in the caves, then given everyone a flashlight. Now, as they stepped into the darkness, light was swallowed up in the darkest corners, and the temperature dropped noticeably with every step.
“The front part of the caves have been used for decades,” she explained. “Maybe hundreds of years. When I bought the ranch last year, I knew they would be perfect for aging my cheese. The caves maintain a steady temperature. The farther back you go, the cooler it gets. The lowest temperature is just below fifty degrees.”
“Did you find any gold?” one of the reporters asked.
“No. I know there was a large find in the mountains. I guess that was where they stored it. Because of the paintings, we’re wondering if this cave is some kind of sacred ground. Maybe a holy place.”
“But no gold?” the woman asked again.
One of the archaeologists glared at her. “The intrinsic value of a find isn’t determined by whether or not it’s shiny.”
“My viewers are a whole lot more interested in gold than a few wall paintings.”
“Perhaps if they were more educated.”
“Perhaps if you lived in the real world.”
Heidi cleared her throat. “As I was saying…”
Both women turned to face her.
She forced a smile. “We don’t know exactly what we have here. Something valuable, obviously. Important to our history here in Fool’s Gold. As most of you know, there has always been a connection between the town and the Máa-zib tribe. They were a matriarchal civilization, and we have strong women here.”
She shook her head. “I’m a big girl, Rafe. I wanted to. There was no seduction involved. You have nothing to feel bad about.”
“I don’t feel bad. But I do want to be sure that you’re okay.”
“I’m fine. Why don’t we talk about how you’re feeling?”
“I’m a guy. Articulating my feelings isn’t in my genetic makeup.”
“Rafe? There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.”
Rafe turned and saw a tall, slender, well-dressed blonde walking toward him. If there’d been a wall nearby, he would’ve banged his head against it.
“Hello, Nina,” he said instead.
His matchmaker put her hands on her hips. “You’ve been avoiding me.”
“I didn’t have anything more to say.”
“But I did.” Nina smiled at Heidi. “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Nina Blanchard, Rafe’s matchmaker.”
“Heidi Simpson,” Heidi told her. “It’s so nice to meet you. I don’t think I knew you were coming to Fool’s Gold.”
“I didn’t know, either,” Rafe said, not sure why Nina had shown up, but knowing the reason wasn’t going to be a good one for him.
“It was an impulsive decision,” Nina admitted. She smiled at Heidi. “Rafe is being very difficult.”
“I’m not even surprised,” Heidi told her. “Rafe is a really stubborn guy. If you want him to pay attention, you’re going to have to take charge.”
“Hey!” Rafe stepped between them. “Maybe we should all stop talking about me.”
Heidi shrugged. “I thought you liked being the center of attention.”
“You thought wrong.” He took Nina by the arm. “Let’s go get coffee.” He glanced at Heidi. “I’ll deal with you later.”
She looked unrepentant and a little smug as she smiled. “If you think you’re up to it.”
He took Nina to the Starbucks on the corner, bought her a nonfat latte, then they sat outside at a shaded table.
“What the hell are you doing here?” he asked, when she’d added her artificial sweetener and stirred her drink.
“I told you. You’ve been avoiding me.”
“I said I was done with your services. I’ll pay you whatever is owed, but I don’t want you getting me any more dates.”
“Because of Heidi?”
“What? No. Because of a lot of things.”
Nina didn’t look convinced.
Back in her office, he’d thought she was in her early forties. But out in the bright sunlight, he could see more lines around her eyes and pegged her at a few years older. Not that her age made any difference. She was still a pain in his ass.
“I said I’d find you a wife, and I will.”
“I don’t want to find a wife right now.”
“Because of Heidi.”
He sighed. “Didn’t I already say no to that?”
“I don’t believe you. I saw how you were looking at her.” She leaned close. “Have you two had sex?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“Which means yes. Oh, Rafe, I meet a lot of interesting people in my business. You’re not the kind of man who needs a matchmaker, but you wanted one.”
“I made a mistake once. I don’t want to make another mistake.”
“By finding the perfect wife.”
“I’m not interested in love.” Mostly because he didn’t believe in it.
What he’d had with his first wife had faded away. Shane and his first wife had been crazy in love, and she’d cheated on him every chance she got. If love existed, it did so in a world of pain and betrayal. Better to find someone he could be friends with. Someone who wanted what he wanted and shared his goals and values. Maybe that wasn’t romantic, but it made sense to him.
“You’re afraid,” Nina told him firmly. “You’re afraid of falling in love for real this time, because you don’t know what it will do to you.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he told her. “You don’t know that much about me.”
“I know enough. I know you were the one who took care of your family when your dad died, even though you were, what, eight or nine?”
His past had been written about in the press a few times. He supposed Nina was thorough and had done her research. “I’m not driven by something I saw as a kid,” he said firmly.
“Maybe not, but you’re influenced by it. You saw what happened to your mom, and you filed that information away. When it was your turn, you picked what you thought was the perfect wife. You went through the motions, dated, got married. I would guess you didn’t love her, though. You weren’t willing to risk those intense feelings.”
“Thanks for stopping by,” he said, turning away.
She stepped in front of him. “Let me guess. About the time you met your first wife, someone close to you also got involved. But his or her relationship was different. Intense, wild. What they had scared you, so you went in the other direction.”
He refused to speak, but he couldn’t stop himself from thinking about Shane. Nina was right. Shane had met Rachel about a year before he, Rafe, got married. They’d been passionate lovers from the first day. Shane had talked about being swept away by passion, how Rachel was everything to him. Rafe had tried to warn his brother to be careful, but Shane had refused to listen.
Rafe told himself Nina was guessing. She’d been in the business a long time and had picked up a few tricks. This was one of them. Maybe she had a point. Maybe he had been too cautious the first time around. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t make a reasonably well thought-out relationship work.
“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be sure,” he said at last.
She gave him a sad, knowing smile. “You’re wrong. Love isn’t about being sure. Love is about risking it all. The only way to be truly in love is to give with your whole heart. To put it out there and be vulnerable. To offer all you have without knowing if it will be enough. Love is standing na**d in front of the world and announcing, ‘This is who I am,’ then waiting to be accepted or not.”
“Then I’m not interested.”
“It’s worth it,” Nina told him. “I promise you that. If you find the right person, it’s amazing. Notice I’m not saying ‘the one.’ I don’t believe there’s just one person for each of us. There are many, and sometimes we can find that magic a second or third time. You never found it at all.”
“I don’t need that in my life.”
“Yes, you do. At least once, Rafe. Risk your heart.”
He shook his head. “Are we done here?”
“No, but you can go. I’m now a woman on a mission. I want to see you happily married.”
He held in a groan. “This I don’t need right now.”
“That’s okay. I can wait.”
* * *
BY EARLY AFTERNOON, RAFE was ready to run screaming into the mountains around Fool’s Gold. He’d managed to escape from Nina, only to continue setting up for the carnival. The dart game he’d started to put together required him blowing up hundreds of balloons. The tall, skinny guy who had introduced himself as Ham had shown him three empty, massive cardboard boxes and said they had to be filled with balloons. Then he’d pointed to a box of balloons and an air compressor. He’d slapped Rafe on the back and disappeared. Rafe sensed he’d been had.
Still, he went to work, blowing up the balloons, tying them off, then dropping them into the boxes. Late morning turned into early afternoon. The sun rose higher in the sky, the day warmed and the sidewalks around him grew crowded.
By three, his fingers were cramping from the twisting motion. Give him a ten-foot fence line or a herd of “feral” cattle any day, he thought. At least that was work he enjoyed. And it was solitary. Because along with the bottomless box of balloons, he’d had a long string of visitors.
Harvey of the recently cured cancer had stopped by to talk about his good health and how Glen’s generosity had literally saved his life. When Rafe had pointed out that the money had come from his mother and Glen had lied to get it, Harvey had been unimpressed. He’d done ten minutes on the state of health care in this country, recounted two funny stories about Glen and had told him that everyone was watching him, before drifting away.
A pretty, middle-aged redhead appeared next in a flowy, long dress, and stopped in front of him. “You must be Rafe,” she said. “I’m Madam Zoltan, but you can call me Rita.” Her green eyes swept over him. “Nice. Very nice.”
He didn’t know what she meant, and he decided it was better not to ask.
“Good to meet you,” he said, continuing his balloon work.
“So you’re with Heidi.”
Rafe’s grip on the balloon he was filling with air loosened, and the bit of rubber went flying through the air. It zigged and zagged around them before fluttering to the sidewalk. A little boy ran over and picked it up, then darted away.
“I need a drink,” Rafe muttered, and he wasn’t talking about the bottle of water Harvey had brought him.
Rita smiled. “She’s a wonderful young woman, but then you already know that. May I?”
She reached for his hand. He let her take it, then she bent over his palm. Her fingers were long and cool. They lightly touched his skin, tracing lines before rubbing the base of his thumb.
“I’m going to meet a dark stranger who will change my life forever?” he asked.
“No, nothing that simple. You’re a complicated man.” She tapped a line. “Very loving, although you try to hide that part of your character. You take care of the people around you.”
This was the second time in one day a woman he barely knew was talking about him as if they had exclusive emails delivered from heaven. He pulled back his hand.
“It was nice to meet you,” he said firmly, picking up the next balloon.
“You’re dismissing me.” She seemed more amused than angry. “All right. I’ll take the hint. But first, to get your heart’s desire, you’re going to have to be willing to take a leap of faith. To be vulnerable.”
Involuntarily, he remembered what Nina had told him that morning. About being na**d in front of the world. Had the women around here had a meeting and decided today was the day they were going to torture him?
“It’s worth it,” she assured him.
“Good to know.”
She smiled and left.
He stared after her for a couple of seconds, then reached for the next balloon. About an hour later, he’d nearly finished when Charlie walked up to him. She was wearing a Fool’s Gold firefighter uniform, so it took him a second to place her.
“Charlie.”
“That’s me. I came to—”
He held up both hands and took a step back. “I’m not talking about my past, who I date or Heidi. You can’t read my palm, ask about my mother or discuss any aspect of my life, now or in the future.”
Charlie raised her eyebrows. “Are you okay?”
“No. Go away.”
Her mouth twitched, as if she were holding in a grin. “If you insist, but at some point I have to check the booth. Fire regulations.”
“Not now. Get out. Stop talking about me. Pretend we never met.”
Charlie chuckled. “Now I can honestly say I have no idea what Heidi sees in you.”
“You were leaving.”
She was still laughing when she strolled away.
* * *
THE GROUP OF SIX WAS EVENLY split between archaeologists and reporters. Heidi touched the back pocket of her jeans, where she’d shoved the notes Annabelle had given her, and hoped she remembered all the important points. Speaking in public, even to a small group like this, wasn’t her idea of a good time. Of course, she only had herself to blame for the situation, something she needed to remember.
She’d come in before the tour and left lanterns in the caves, then given everyone a flashlight. Now, as they stepped into the darkness, light was swallowed up in the darkest corners, and the temperature dropped noticeably with every step.
“The front part of the caves have been used for decades,” she explained. “Maybe hundreds of years. When I bought the ranch last year, I knew they would be perfect for aging my cheese. The caves maintain a steady temperature. The farther back you go, the cooler it gets. The lowest temperature is just below fifty degrees.”
“Did you find any gold?” one of the reporters asked.
“No. I know there was a large find in the mountains. I guess that was where they stored it. Because of the paintings, we’re wondering if this cave is some kind of sacred ground. Maybe a holy place.”
“But no gold?” the woman asked again.
One of the archaeologists glared at her. “The intrinsic value of a find isn’t determined by whether or not it’s shiny.”
“My viewers are a whole lot more interested in gold than a few wall paintings.”
“Perhaps if they were more educated.”
“Perhaps if you lived in the real world.”
Heidi cleared her throat. “As I was saying…”
Both women turned to face her.
She forced a smile. “We don’t know exactly what we have here. Something valuable, obviously. Important to our history here in Fool’s Gold. As most of you know, there has always been a connection between the town and the Máa-zib tribe. They were a matriarchal civilization, and we have strong women here.”
