Summer Days
Page 31
Women strong enough to solve their problems without deception, she thought grimly. Women who acted instead of lying. She answered a few questions, then led everyone to the cave paintings. As they took pictures and studied the primitive art, she knew she’d made a mistake.
This wasn’t who she was. She’d spent her whole life doing the right thing. This time, when everything she wanted in life was on the line, she’d cheated and lied. Even if Rafe had gone out on a thousand dates, she still should have talked to him and found a point of compromise. She should have talked to May, figured out a way to make it all work. Now she’d set events in motion, and she didn’t know how to stop the runaway train. She could only hope everyone got out before there was a hideous crash, and that the aftermath wouldn’t destroy everything she cared about.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
“I HAVEN’T SEEN NINA in a while,” Heidi said.
Rafe came to a stop in the middle of the sidewalk. Crowds flowed around them.
“Let’s make a deal,” he said. “We won’t talk about Nina, and I’ll buy you anything you want at the carnival.”
“I like to think I have higher standards than that. It would take at least three Ferris wheel rides and cotton candy to buy my silence.”
“Done.”
A little boy ran into the back of her legs. Rafe pulled her off the sidewalk and into a brightly lit alley by the sporting goods store.
“I didn’t ask Nina to come here.”
His gaze was steady as he spoke, as if he wanted to be sure she believed him.
“I didn’t think you had.”
“She just showed up.”
“I’m sure that’s true.” She smiled. “You looked shocked when she walked over.”
“You have no idea. I’d already told her we were done. I’m not using her services anymore.”
She studied his familiar face, the dark eyes, the strong line of his jaw. He looked different these days. Tanned, even more muscled. In his cotton shirt and jeans, he was just a guy. Not Rafe Stryker, dangerous tycoon.
But he was as dangerous as he had always been. Not only because of their pending case before the judge, but because of what he could do to her emotionally. His making sure she knew he wasn’t going to be dating Nina’s picks was both good and bad news. At least she didn’t have to think about him out with other women. On the other hand, she could now pretend it was because of her. That he cared and they were involved and she wasn’t going to get her heart broken.
“She’s determined,” he added. “I guess she doesn’t believe in letting clients get away. That’s why she came.”
“It’s okay,” she told him.
He stared into her eyes. “I wanted to be sure you knew.”
He reached for her hand and linked their fingers. His hold was strong and sure. As if he would protect her from danger. They stepped back into the Friday evening crowd.
Fool’s Gold was the kind of place that loved festivals. There were year-round events, celebrating everything from summer to harvest to the traditional holidays. For the few weeks when the average calendar didn’t provide an excuse to party, the town made up events.
The locals came out to participate, and tourists arrived from all over. Hotel rooms were booked weeks in advance, as friends, couples and families took advantage of the affable atmosphere and easy fun.
“Now about that Ferris wheel ride,” he said.
Heidi shook her head. “I was kidding. I don’t need to ride the Ferris wheel.”
“Who said anything about need?”
“You said you like the Tilt-A-Whirl.”
“I did as a kid. I don’t think it would be as appealing now.”
They stopped and bought churros, because dessert before dinner was important. As they were waiting in a line for drinks, Heidi waved to one of her friends.
“Nevada Hendrix,” she said, then laughed. “I mean, Nevada Janack. From the construction site.”
“Where we went to get Athena.”
She watched him carefully as he spoke, wondering if he would give a hint of his real plans, but he only nodded.
“An impressive project.”
Nevada and Tucker joined them.
“I love when the carnival comes to town,” Nevada said, after they’d greeted each other. “It’s fun. Dakota is taking Hannah on the Ferris wheel for the first time. Finn is trying to juggle a camera and the baby, so we have to get back to help.” She hugged Heidi. “I don’t see you enough. Let’s have lunch this week.”
“I’d love that.”
When they’d all gotten their drinks and Nevada and Tucker had left, Heidi turned to Rafe.
“Dakota, Nevada and Montana are identical triplets. They all fell in love last year and got married over the holidays. Dakota was concerned she couldn’t have children, so she adopted a baby girl. About the same time, she got pregnant, and now they have two kids. Montana is hugely pregnant and due to pop any day now. I guess Nevada will be next.”
She heard the wistful tone in her own voice. She’d always loved children and wanted to have her own. When she was younger, that had been her plan. A husband then kids. After Melinda had killed herself, she’d been less sure about taking a chance on falling in love. Probably because Glen had always told her love was for suckers. As her heart had never seemed that interested in any guy, she hadn’t worried about the problem.
Now, with Rafe, she was more confused than ever. He said he wanted marriage and children, but without falling in love. His list of requirements didn’t sound anything like her. Which meant she wasn’t in the running. Had she finally found “the one,” only to discover she wasn’t “the one” for him?
“I have more respect for carnival rides now that I’ve worked to put them together,” he told her.
A safer topic, she thought. “There’s a science to how the rides are grouped together. One has to take traffic flow into account, along with price and how many people can ride in an hour.”
“Do the prices vary from venue to venue?”
She nodded. “It’s easier to charge the same for everything, but some rides are more popular than others. The popular rides often cost more. But there are other factors. How many people can you get on and off in a certain amount of time.”
She pointed to the Ferris wheel. “There are sixteen cars, each holding two people. With a good crew, you’re talking four hundred riders an hour.”
“That many?”
She nodded, then turned so they were looking at the YoYo. “See those swings?”
“There’s only one rider.”
“But there are thirty-two swings. They can handle nine hundred people an hour.”
“That’s a big difference.”
“Exactly. Most of the rides fall somewhere in between. It’s all about getting people safely on and off. You don’t want the rides so short anyone feels cheated, but you can’t have lines taking forever. The carnival has to make money, and so does the town.”
“Did you work the rides when you were a kid?”
“I did everything. Rides, games, the food carts.”
“Took care of goats?”
She smiled. “I did have my first goat when I was a kid, yes.”
“You don’t miss the life?”
“I miss the people, but I like being settled. Who wouldn’t want to live in Fool’s Gold?” She shrugged. “Except you.”
“It’s not so bad,” he admitted. “I like it better now that I’m not dependent on their kindness to survive.” He hesitated. “Do you know who Raoul Moreno is?”
“Sure. He’s married to Pia. They have twin girls.”
Rafe laughed. “Fair enough, but he was also a great quarterback. That’s football.”
She pushed him with her free hand. “I know what quarterbacks are, and I have more than a passing understanding of the game.”
“I wasn’t sure. What with you being a girl and all.”
“I thought you liked me being a girl.”
He pulled her off the sidewalk and between a couple of buildings. There were still a lot of people around, but it was a touch more private. And nice, she thought, when he lowered his head and kissed her.
“I do like you being a girl,” he murmured, his mouth against hers.
“Me, too.”
She could get lost in him, she thought. But the price would be too high.
“So, about Raoul?”
“Right.” He led them back into the crowd. “He started a camp up in the mountains. For inner-city kids who don’t have much. He has big plans. It’s a great idea and an ambitious program. But there are other kids. Kids in small towns and on farms who need help. What about them?”
“Are you thinking about doing something with them?”
“I don’t know. Kind of. I’ve been fortunate, and being back here has got me thinking. Not every town can take care of its own the way Fool’s Gold took care of my mom and the rest of my family. I hated being poor and people giving me stuff, but without those baskets of food and gifts, we wouldn’t have had anything for the holidays. Mayor Marsha gave me my first bike. Denise Hendrix brought us clothes. The woman had six kids and she’d already taken in a seventh, and she still thought of us. I wonder how many Denise Hendrixes and Mayor Marshas there are in the world.”
“You surprise me.”
“I surprise myself. I haven’t done anything yet. But I’ve spent the past couple of weeks playing with the idea.”
She wished he hadn’t. Of course, she wanted him to help people, but hearing him talk about it made her like him more. She hardly needed help in that department.
“Enough about that,” he said, and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “I’m thinking chili dogs. What about you?”
“That sounds perfect.”
* * *
LATE SATURDAY NIGHT, HEIDI was curled up in Rita’s old trailer. She remembered helping her friend re-cover the sofa with the bright floral fabric. Nelson, Rita’s gray-and-white cat, perched on the ottoman, grooming his handsome self.
Rita poured Heidi and herself a brandy, then handed over a glass.
“I remember doing this when you turned twenty-one,” Rita told her. “That was a fun night.”
“Melinda was with us. Her birthday was four months before mine, and she loved to tease me about being able to drink first.”
“Neither of you partied very much. Or got into trouble with boys.”
“We were saints,” Heidi said lightly, sipping the liquid. “Someone should have given us a plaque.”
“You still miss her.” Rita set down her glass. “I don’t need any psychic powers to figure that out. I can see it in your eyes when you talk about her.”
“She was my best friend.”
Heidi fought against the sense of betrayal she often felt when she talked about Melinda’s death. If there had been an accident, she was pretty sure she could have come to terms. But Melinda had acted deliberately. More than once. She’d taken her own life, leaving friends and family behind.
“Why weren’t we enough?” she asked, her eyes filling with tears. “We all loved her. He was just some guy. He wasn’t worth it.”
“Do any of us have the power to hurt you as much as Rafe does?”
Not a question she wanted to answer. Glen could annoy her and frustrate her. He could make her want to throw something, as when she’d found out about the money he’d taken from May. But, no, he couldn’t hurt her. His love was absolute, and she’d relied on it her whole life. No matter what, they would be there for each other.
“I don’t want to love him,” she admitted.
“You’re not like Melinda.”
Heidi sucked in a breath. Trust her friend to expose her darkest fear. “You can’t know that. What if my heart breaks as much? What if I can’t face the pain? Melinda had just as much to live for.”
“She was never strong. You were the rock in that relationship.”
“I should have gone to college with her. I could have kept those girls from bullying her, or maybe kept it from mattering so much.”
“You know that’s not true. Melinda had a sadness about her even before her heart was broken. You’re not her, and Rafe is nothing like that boy she loved.”
“You never met him. You can’t know that.”
“I know you, and I’ve watched him. He’s a good man. Confused about a few things, reluctant to risk his emotions. But once he does, he’s loyal. Kind.”
Ridiculously good in bed, but why go there.
“He doesn’t want me. He wants a perfect wife. He has a list, and I don’t meet any of his criteria.”
“He’s protecting himself, trying not to get hurt. It’s what everyone does.” Rita sipped her brandy. “Rafe wants what everyone wants. To belong. Don’t let the fear win. Embrace who you are, including your strength.”
“I want to, but I’m scared.”
“True courage is acting in the face of fear.”
“Can’t I just run instead?”
Rita smiled. “That was never your style. You’ll do what must be done, and you’ll survive.”
* * *
RAFE’S MOTHER SPREAD OUT several large sheets of paper on the kitchen table. As she put them in order, Rafe recognized the basic outline of the ranch. The house and surrounding buildings had been sketched in, along with the fence line. Places for her various animals were marked. He ignored the notations that mentioned a camel and two zebras.
This wasn’t who she was. She’d spent her whole life doing the right thing. This time, when everything she wanted in life was on the line, she’d cheated and lied. Even if Rafe had gone out on a thousand dates, she still should have talked to him and found a point of compromise. She should have talked to May, figured out a way to make it all work. Now she’d set events in motion, and she didn’t know how to stop the runaway train. She could only hope everyone got out before there was a hideous crash, and that the aftermath wouldn’t destroy everything she cared about.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
“I HAVEN’T SEEN NINA in a while,” Heidi said.
Rafe came to a stop in the middle of the sidewalk. Crowds flowed around them.
“Let’s make a deal,” he said. “We won’t talk about Nina, and I’ll buy you anything you want at the carnival.”
“I like to think I have higher standards than that. It would take at least three Ferris wheel rides and cotton candy to buy my silence.”
“Done.”
A little boy ran into the back of her legs. Rafe pulled her off the sidewalk and into a brightly lit alley by the sporting goods store.
“I didn’t ask Nina to come here.”
His gaze was steady as he spoke, as if he wanted to be sure she believed him.
“I didn’t think you had.”
“She just showed up.”
“I’m sure that’s true.” She smiled. “You looked shocked when she walked over.”
“You have no idea. I’d already told her we were done. I’m not using her services anymore.”
She studied his familiar face, the dark eyes, the strong line of his jaw. He looked different these days. Tanned, even more muscled. In his cotton shirt and jeans, he was just a guy. Not Rafe Stryker, dangerous tycoon.
But he was as dangerous as he had always been. Not only because of their pending case before the judge, but because of what he could do to her emotionally. His making sure she knew he wasn’t going to be dating Nina’s picks was both good and bad news. At least she didn’t have to think about him out with other women. On the other hand, she could now pretend it was because of her. That he cared and they were involved and she wasn’t going to get her heart broken.
“She’s determined,” he added. “I guess she doesn’t believe in letting clients get away. That’s why she came.”
“It’s okay,” she told him.
He stared into her eyes. “I wanted to be sure you knew.”
He reached for her hand and linked their fingers. His hold was strong and sure. As if he would protect her from danger. They stepped back into the Friday evening crowd.
Fool’s Gold was the kind of place that loved festivals. There were year-round events, celebrating everything from summer to harvest to the traditional holidays. For the few weeks when the average calendar didn’t provide an excuse to party, the town made up events.
The locals came out to participate, and tourists arrived from all over. Hotel rooms were booked weeks in advance, as friends, couples and families took advantage of the affable atmosphere and easy fun.
“Now about that Ferris wheel ride,” he said.
Heidi shook her head. “I was kidding. I don’t need to ride the Ferris wheel.”
“Who said anything about need?”
“You said you like the Tilt-A-Whirl.”
“I did as a kid. I don’t think it would be as appealing now.”
They stopped and bought churros, because dessert before dinner was important. As they were waiting in a line for drinks, Heidi waved to one of her friends.
“Nevada Hendrix,” she said, then laughed. “I mean, Nevada Janack. From the construction site.”
“Where we went to get Athena.”
She watched him carefully as he spoke, wondering if he would give a hint of his real plans, but he only nodded.
“An impressive project.”
Nevada and Tucker joined them.
“I love when the carnival comes to town,” Nevada said, after they’d greeted each other. “It’s fun. Dakota is taking Hannah on the Ferris wheel for the first time. Finn is trying to juggle a camera and the baby, so we have to get back to help.” She hugged Heidi. “I don’t see you enough. Let’s have lunch this week.”
“I’d love that.”
When they’d all gotten their drinks and Nevada and Tucker had left, Heidi turned to Rafe.
“Dakota, Nevada and Montana are identical triplets. They all fell in love last year and got married over the holidays. Dakota was concerned she couldn’t have children, so she adopted a baby girl. About the same time, she got pregnant, and now they have two kids. Montana is hugely pregnant and due to pop any day now. I guess Nevada will be next.”
She heard the wistful tone in her own voice. She’d always loved children and wanted to have her own. When she was younger, that had been her plan. A husband then kids. After Melinda had killed herself, she’d been less sure about taking a chance on falling in love. Probably because Glen had always told her love was for suckers. As her heart had never seemed that interested in any guy, she hadn’t worried about the problem.
Now, with Rafe, she was more confused than ever. He said he wanted marriage and children, but without falling in love. His list of requirements didn’t sound anything like her. Which meant she wasn’t in the running. Had she finally found “the one,” only to discover she wasn’t “the one” for him?
“I have more respect for carnival rides now that I’ve worked to put them together,” he told her.
A safer topic, she thought. “There’s a science to how the rides are grouped together. One has to take traffic flow into account, along with price and how many people can ride in an hour.”
“Do the prices vary from venue to venue?”
She nodded. “It’s easier to charge the same for everything, but some rides are more popular than others. The popular rides often cost more. But there are other factors. How many people can you get on and off in a certain amount of time.”
She pointed to the Ferris wheel. “There are sixteen cars, each holding two people. With a good crew, you’re talking four hundred riders an hour.”
“That many?”
She nodded, then turned so they were looking at the YoYo. “See those swings?”
“There’s only one rider.”
“But there are thirty-two swings. They can handle nine hundred people an hour.”
“That’s a big difference.”
“Exactly. Most of the rides fall somewhere in between. It’s all about getting people safely on and off. You don’t want the rides so short anyone feels cheated, but you can’t have lines taking forever. The carnival has to make money, and so does the town.”
“Did you work the rides when you were a kid?”
“I did everything. Rides, games, the food carts.”
“Took care of goats?”
She smiled. “I did have my first goat when I was a kid, yes.”
“You don’t miss the life?”
“I miss the people, but I like being settled. Who wouldn’t want to live in Fool’s Gold?” She shrugged. “Except you.”
“It’s not so bad,” he admitted. “I like it better now that I’m not dependent on their kindness to survive.” He hesitated. “Do you know who Raoul Moreno is?”
“Sure. He’s married to Pia. They have twin girls.”
Rafe laughed. “Fair enough, but he was also a great quarterback. That’s football.”
She pushed him with her free hand. “I know what quarterbacks are, and I have more than a passing understanding of the game.”
“I wasn’t sure. What with you being a girl and all.”
“I thought you liked me being a girl.”
He pulled her off the sidewalk and between a couple of buildings. There were still a lot of people around, but it was a touch more private. And nice, she thought, when he lowered his head and kissed her.
“I do like you being a girl,” he murmured, his mouth against hers.
“Me, too.”
She could get lost in him, she thought. But the price would be too high.
“So, about Raoul?”
“Right.” He led them back into the crowd. “He started a camp up in the mountains. For inner-city kids who don’t have much. He has big plans. It’s a great idea and an ambitious program. But there are other kids. Kids in small towns and on farms who need help. What about them?”
“Are you thinking about doing something with them?”
“I don’t know. Kind of. I’ve been fortunate, and being back here has got me thinking. Not every town can take care of its own the way Fool’s Gold took care of my mom and the rest of my family. I hated being poor and people giving me stuff, but without those baskets of food and gifts, we wouldn’t have had anything for the holidays. Mayor Marsha gave me my first bike. Denise Hendrix brought us clothes. The woman had six kids and she’d already taken in a seventh, and she still thought of us. I wonder how many Denise Hendrixes and Mayor Marshas there are in the world.”
“You surprise me.”
“I surprise myself. I haven’t done anything yet. But I’ve spent the past couple of weeks playing with the idea.”
She wished he hadn’t. Of course, she wanted him to help people, but hearing him talk about it made her like him more. She hardly needed help in that department.
“Enough about that,” he said, and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “I’m thinking chili dogs. What about you?”
“That sounds perfect.”
* * *
LATE SATURDAY NIGHT, HEIDI was curled up in Rita’s old trailer. She remembered helping her friend re-cover the sofa with the bright floral fabric. Nelson, Rita’s gray-and-white cat, perched on the ottoman, grooming his handsome self.
Rita poured Heidi and herself a brandy, then handed over a glass.
“I remember doing this when you turned twenty-one,” Rita told her. “That was a fun night.”
“Melinda was with us. Her birthday was four months before mine, and she loved to tease me about being able to drink first.”
“Neither of you partied very much. Or got into trouble with boys.”
“We were saints,” Heidi said lightly, sipping the liquid. “Someone should have given us a plaque.”
“You still miss her.” Rita set down her glass. “I don’t need any psychic powers to figure that out. I can see it in your eyes when you talk about her.”
“She was my best friend.”
Heidi fought against the sense of betrayal she often felt when she talked about Melinda’s death. If there had been an accident, she was pretty sure she could have come to terms. But Melinda had acted deliberately. More than once. She’d taken her own life, leaving friends and family behind.
“Why weren’t we enough?” she asked, her eyes filling with tears. “We all loved her. He was just some guy. He wasn’t worth it.”
“Do any of us have the power to hurt you as much as Rafe does?”
Not a question she wanted to answer. Glen could annoy her and frustrate her. He could make her want to throw something, as when she’d found out about the money he’d taken from May. But, no, he couldn’t hurt her. His love was absolute, and she’d relied on it her whole life. No matter what, they would be there for each other.
“I don’t want to love him,” she admitted.
“You’re not like Melinda.”
Heidi sucked in a breath. Trust her friend to expose her darkest fear. “You can’t know that. What if my heart breaks as much? What if I can’t face the pain? Melinda had just as much to live for.”
“She was never strong. You were the rock in that relationship.”
“I should have gone to college with her. I could have kept those girls from bullying her, or maybe kept it from mattering so much.”
“You know that’s not true. Melinda had a sadness about her even before her heart was broken. You’re not her, and Rafe is nothing like that boy she loved.”
“You never met him. You can’t know that.”
“I know you, and I’ve watched him. He’s a good man. Confused about a few things, reluctant to risk his emotions. But once he does, he’s loyal. Kind.”
Ridiculously good in bed, but why go there.
“He doesn’t want me. He wants a perfect wife. He has a list, and I don’t meet any of his criteria.”
“He’s protecting himself, trying not to get hurt. It’s what everyone does.” Rita sipped her brandy. “Rafe wants what everyone wants. To belong. Don’t let the fear win. Embrace who you are, including your strength.”
“I want to, but I’m scared.”
“True courage is acting in the face of fear.”
“Can’t I just run instead?”
Rita smiled. “That was never your style. You’ll do what must be done, and you’ll survive.”
* * *
RAFE’S MOTHER SPREAD OUT several large sheets of paper on the kitchen table. As she put them in order, Rafe recognized the basic outline of the ranch. The house and surrounding buildings had been sketched in, along with the fence line. Places for her various animals were marked. He ignored the notations that mentioned a camel and two zebras.
