Sweetest Venom
Page 62
“Lawrence, please. Listen to me,” I beg, rushing toward him. With trembling feet, I close the space between us until I’m standing right behind him. “Won’t you just look at me?”
“Why should I? Haven’t you had enough?” I hear him say with utter scorn vibrating in his voice.
I step around Lawrence and force him to look at me. I pause momentarily at the sight of the pure hatred filling his eyes before forging on. “Lawrence, please … listen to me. I’m so sorry for everything. I’ve been so selfish.” Wringing my hands, the emotions that have threatened to spill over since last night finally let loose and come crashing down, making the room swirl around me. Tears begin to fall down my cheeks, but I don’t care. “I’ve hurt you—my dear friend—and it’s tearing me apart. You’re the last person who deserves this kind of treatment, and I can’t do this anymore. I care too much for y—”
“Damn it!” He grabs me by the arms and begins to shake me forcefully, the bite of his fingers numbing. “Don’t you get it? I’m done with your fucking lies!”
“I’m so sorry,” I sob, “so sorry.”
“Do not dare to apologize! I don’t want your apologies.” The hands that clutch my arms in an iron grip grow still. Leaning down until our faces meet, he hisses savagely, breathing as though it cost him every ounce of strength in his body, “I wanted you—you, Blaire! Can’t you see? I fucking love you!”
His confession stuns me, leaving me speechless. Then Lawrence pulls me in an embrace that chokes the life out of me, but I let him because I want to stop breathing.
“To love you is to self-destruct, Blaire, but I seem unable to stop.” The words are torn from his chest. I cry in his arms for everything that will never be and all the wrongs I’ve done, and the sorrow corroding me. I’m breaking at his feet, and it’s only fair that I do.
With anger and frustration ruling his every move, Lawrence lowers his lips and begins to trail desperate, searing kisses across my face, tasting my tears and the pain hidden in them. I bury my hands in his hair, pulling him closer to me as his savage mouth continues to brand itself on my skin, the crest of my cheeks, my closed eyelids, everywhere he can reach. When my lips search for his, Lawrence yields momentarily, a tremor passing through his entire body.
I know that this is good-bye.
“Fuck!” he curses angrily. Abruptly, Lawrence pushes me away like I was burning him, his chest rising and falling rapidly. “Go! Leave and don’t ever come back.”
Standing by the door, I take one last look at the stoic man standing by the window. And as I stare at him, taking in his stormy features one last time, I finally understand what I’ve been too blind to see, what my heart has denied for so long. The truth becomes as clear as the morning sky and I can’t deny it any longer. I love him. I love him. It’s not the same love that I feel for Ronan, but it is just as overpowering and all-encompassing.
I pause with my hand on the doorknob and speak the one truth that I can give him. “I love you, Lawrence,” my voice breaks.
He glances back and our eyes meet for what I know will be the last time, anger replaced by despair. “But not enough to stay.” Lawrence turns to look straight ahead once more, dismissing me as an already forgotten thought.
“Good-bye, Blaire.”
Ronan
“WAKE UP, SLEEPY HEAD!”
“Hmm …” I reach out to touch the warm body that should be lying next to mine and find nothing but an empty pillow. “Come back to bed, Rachel.”
“Not a chance. Open your eyes, Ronan!” she exclaims, her voice brimming with excitement.
“Why should I? Haven’t you had enough?” I hear him say with utter scorn vibrating in his voice.
I step around Lawrence and force him to look at me. I pause momentarily at the sight of the pure hatred filling his eyes before forging on. “Lawrence, please … listen to me. I’m so sorry for everything. I’ve been so selfish.” Wringing my hands, the emotions that have threatened to spill over since last night finally let loose and come crashing down, making the room swirl around me. Tears begin to fall down my cheeks, but I don’t care. “I’ve hurt you—my dear friend—and it’s tearing me apart. You’re the last person who deserves this kind of treatment, and I can’t do this anymore. I care too much for y—”
“Damn it!” He grabs me by the arms and begins to shake me forcefully, the bite of his fingers numbing. “Don’t you get it? I’m done with your fucking lies!”
“I’m so sorry,” I sob, “so sorry.”
“Do not dare to apologize! I don’t want your apologies.” The hands that clutch my arms in an iron grip grow still. Leaning down until our faces meet, he hisses savagely, breathing as though it cost him every ounce of strength in his body, “I wanted you—you, Blaire! Can’t you see? I fucking love you!”
His confession stuns me, leaving me speechless. Then Lawrence pulls me in an embrace that chokes the life out of me, but I let him because I want to stop breathing.
“To love you is to self-destruct, Blaire, but I seem unable to stop.” The words are torn from his chest. I cry in his arms for everything that will never be and all the wrongs I’ve done, and the sorrow corroding me. I’m breaking at his feet, and it’s only fair that I do.
With anger and frustration ruling his every move, Lawrence lowers his lips and begins to trail desperate, searing kisses across my face, tasting my tears and the pain hidden in them. I bury my hands in his hair, pulling him closer to me as his savage mouth continues to brand itself on my skin, the crest of my cheeks, my closed eyelids, everywhere he can reach. When my lips search for his, Lawrence yields momentarily, a tremor passing through his entire body.
I know that this is good-bye.
“Fuck!” he curses angrily. Abruptly, Lawrence pushes me away like I was burning him, his chest rising and falling rapidly. “Go! Leave and don’t ever come back.”
Standing by the door, I take one last look at the stoic man standing by the window. And as I stare at him, taking in his stormy features one last time, I finally understand what I’ve been too blind to see, what my heart has denied for so long. The truth becomes as clear as the morning sky and I can’t deny it any longer. I love him. I love him. It’s not the same love that I feel for Ronan, but it is just as overpowering and all-encompassing.
I pause with my hand on the doorknob and speak the one truth that I can give him. “I love you, Lawrence,” my voice breaks.
He glances back and our eyes meet for what I know will be the last time, anger replaced by despair. “But not enough to stay.” Lawrence turns to look straight ahead once more, dismissing me as an already forgotten thought.
“Good-bye, Blaire.”
Ronan
“WAKE UP, SLEEPY HEAD!”
“Hmm …” I reach out to touch the warm body that should be lying next to mine and find nothing but an empty pillow. “Come back to bed, Rachel.”
“Not a chance. Open your eyes, Ronan!” she exclaims, her voice brimming with excitement.
