Sweetest Venom
Page 93
I run to the room. I can’t be bothered with patience. Not when my body is vibrating with energy—with love for the woman waiting for me behind those doors. Happiness, need, and the yearning to be reunited with her propel my every step.
I get off the elevator in a rush, bumping into an older lady who appears to be my grandmother’s age. Once I apologize, I impulsively take her by the arms and waltz with her, making her smile and blush rosily as we glide across the hallway. I’m so damn happy, I want the entire world to share the moment with me. I twirl her slowly as we both laugh. She calls me a crazy boy. I tell her that I am crazy—crazy for a woman.
“Oh my goodness,” she says, fanning herself. “It’s been many, many years since I last danced with a handsome stranger such as yourself.”
“The pleasure is all mine, ma’am,” I say, letting her go, and smile shamelessly. “Now if you excuse me,” I take her hand in mine, bowing over it, and kiss it. “My woman is waiting for me.”
I open the door expecting to find Blaire reading in bed. Instead, I’m met with a room bathed in darkness. Odd. Frowning, I reach for the switch and turn the lights on. The bed is empty and so is the room. “Blaire? Are you here, babe?” I ask, heading to the bathroom. Maybe she’s taking a shower. She isn’t in there either.
Slowly, I walk back and look around for any signs that Blaire was even here. As I’m scanning the furniture, there’s a knock at the door. Relief floods me, making me dizzy. There she is. She was just running late. Like me.
There’s a man dressed in the hotel uniform staring at me. “Mr. Geraghty?”
“Yes?”
“A lady dropped this letter for you. She asked me to give it to you personally.”
I shove him to the side and swiftly step outside. “Is she here? Where is she?” Panic rises inside me. No … this can’t be happening. Not again.
“Where is she, man?” My voice sounds desperate. “Where is she?”
“She left, sir.” He swallows, measuring his next words. “I helped her get in a cab.”
My ears begin to ring as I retrieve the letter from his hands. After tipping him, I close the door and attempt to open the envelope. It takes me a few tries because my hands won’t stop shaking. Cursing, I close my eyes tight and breathe deeply.
Ronan,
I want to lie to you and tell you that I don’t love you and that we can’t be together anymore to make this easier for both of us, but I can’t. You deserve more than that. You deserve my honesty.
I love you so much it hurts. It hurts not to be there with you right now. It hurts to know that our dream won’t ever come true. And it hurts because I finally had you just to lose you all over again. My love for you is the only thing that is pure in this tarnished body of mine. And I refuse to taint it with my selfishness. It is because of that love that I’m letting you go, my eternal summer.
I’m setting you free.
I can’t let you sacrifice your career for me, Ronan. Not when you’re so close to achieving everything that you’ve dreamed of.
You were meant to soar, to be adored.
You deserve all the success that you have coming your way, and the last thing you need is someone like me holding you back. Our short-lived daydream painted such beauty, such hope, but I would never forgive myself if you gave it all up to be with me. Eventually, you would grow to resent me, maybe even hate me, and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if you did.
I hate to say good-bye to you like this, but I’m weak. I don’t think I would be able to let you go if I saw you again. I would fist fight through the pain and all the righteous reasoning to keep you close to me.
I get off the elevator in a rush, bumping into an older lady who appears to be my grandmother’s age. Once I apologize, I impulsively take her by the arms and waltz with her, making her smile and blush rosily as we glide across the hallway. I’m so damn happy, I want the entire world to share the moment with me. I twirl her slowly as we both laugh. She calls me a crazy boy. I tell her that I am crazy—crazy for a woman.
“Oh my goodness,” she says, fanning herself. “It’s been many, many years since I last danced with a handsome stranger such as yourself.”
“The pleasure is all mine, ma’am,” I say, letting her go, and smile shamelessly. “Now if you excuse me,” I take her hand in mine, bowing over it, and kiss it. “My woman is waiting for me.”
I open the door expecting to find Blaire reading in bed. Instead, I’m met with a room bathed in darkness. Odd. Frowning, I reach for the switch and turn the lights on. The bed is empty and so is the room. “Blaire? Are you here, babe?” I ask, heading to the bathroom. Maybe she’s taking a shower. She isn’t in there either.
Slowly, I walk back and look around for any signs that Blaire was even here. As I’m scanning the furniture, there’s a knock at the door. Relief floods me, making me dizzy. There she is. She was just running late. Like me.
There’s a man dressed in the hotel uniform staring at me. “Mr. Geraghty?”
“Yes?”
“A lady dropped this letter for you. She asked me to give it to you personally.”
I shove him to the side and swiftly step outside. “Is she here? Where is she?” Panic rises inside me. No … this can’t be happening. Not again.
“Where is she, man?” My voice sounds desperate. “Where is she?”
“She left, sir.” He swallows, measuring his next words. “I helped her get in a cab.”
My ears begin to ring as I retrieve the letter from his hands. After tipping him, I close the door and attempt to open the envelope. It takes me a few tries because my hands won’t stop shaking. Cursing, I close my eyes tight and breathe deeply.
Ronan,
I want to lie to you and tell you that I don’t love you and that we can’t be together anymore to make this easier for both of us, but I can’t. You deserve more than that. You deserve my honesty.
I love you so much it hurts. It hurts not to be there with you right now. It hurts to know that our dream won’t ever come true. And it hurts because I finally had you just to lose you all over again. My love for you is the only thing that is pure in this tarnished body of mine. And I refuse to taint it with my selfishness. It is because of that love that I’m letting you go, my eternal summer.
I’m setting you free.
I can’t let you sacrifice your career for me, Ronan. Not when you’re so close to achieving everything that you’ve dreamed of.
You were meant to soar, to be adored.
You deserve all the success that you have coming your way, and the last thing you need is someone like me holding you back. Our short-lived daydream painted such beauty, such hope, but I would never forgive myself if you gave it all up to be with me. Eventually, you would grow to resent me, maybe even hate me, and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if you did.
I hate to say good-bye to you like this, but I’m weak. I don’t think I would be able to let you go if I saw you again. I would fist fight through the pain and all the righteous reasoning to keep you close to me.
